Last night I decided to take the hand that was dealt and stay in. I left work at 7 and came home. Yes, you read that, "I left work at 7" was what I said. I was working on invoices. And I was on and off the phone all the time. So what did I do when I got home? Fixed dinner, watch Austin Powers on TV (not as funny as on DVD, more on the A.P. on Tv thing in a minute), and fell asleep in the recliner. Yea, apparently I became a grandfather last night. No I don't have any kids or grandkids, I just zonked out after a glass of milk, a sandwich, and a few chips with Mama's Mexican Layer Dip. Not sure what did it, but I was out like a light. After I slept for about an hour or two, I woke up and said hmm, I could wake up and be up all night OR I can go to bed now and get a good night's sleep since I haven't had more than 6 hours one night this week. What would you do? Went to bed.
I know, it's boring. But I've had an eventful day today. Let's see, I...ate two bowls of Wheaties...messed around on the internet...went to the gym. Wow, what a waste of a day. Oh well, I had a big night Thursday at Mom and Dad's in G'Town and I'll have a huge friggin night tonight. You have to have boring nights in there or else you start to run down your engines. I find that I do more things on the weeknights lately than on the weekends. Don't know why. I'm sure the attack of WHITE DEATH 2006 PARTS 1 & DEUX had something to do with it. Oh well, I'll make up for it tonight at the
GRAND KREWE OF PTOLEMY'S 2006 CORONATION BALL at the UClub. Doors open at 8, with the presentation at 9.
Was that a good plug? I thought so. Well I'm charging my digital camera right now for plenty o' pics. I'll post the best on here.
What are we doing late night? Well probably going to the Monkey as we usually end up there after Ptolemy stuff. Of course we may all be too tipsy to go to a bar. Or we may go to Raiford's. Wait, they may go to Raifords. The only way I go there anymore is if I'm chasing. Or someone else is driving, paying my way in, and putting up with my Cootie Brown ass.
Anyways, who all will be there tonight? Don't know about bloggers other than Kat, maybe Joseph Koury. That's all I know of. I know he used to be a member or at least shows up to the parties. There's no telling. Oh yea, Mom and Dad will be there.
OH YEA! The Austin Powers thing. Ok, as I was watching Austin Powers 2 (Spy Who Shagged Me) those damn commercials came up so I started flipping channels and what did I find Austin Powers (International Man Of Mystery) on another channel. Either Lorne Michaels or Mike Myers made a deal with a red scaley guy with a tale who lives in eternal damnation. I'm not accusing anyone, I'm just saying that someone is getting some serious royalties outta this deal.
It's kinda funny to go back and look at these kinda movies and see who got bit parts and have now become more familiar faces to me. There's the tall guy from MadTV that you always catch in reruns on Comedy Central. And then of course the man who we now call Mr. Everywhere, Will Ferrell, had the Mustafa (sp?) part in 1 & 2. Those were the only two I really noticed before I fell asleep. I also did notice how bad Heather Graham's acting was in 2 (and the TV dorks couldn't figure out why they should have watched Emily's Reasons before giving it the greenlight). Ok, yea she is hot and yea she was actually good in Swingers and yea she got naked and freaky in Boogie Nights WITH roller skates on, but other than that what does she have going for her?
By the way, if anyone in Midtown is looking for some late-night sustenance, I HIGHLY recommend Destiny Diner at Printer's Alley. The BBQ pizza is really good (even better when you've had a few too many). The wings aren't that great though. The bones always break when I'm eating them. And everytime I go I always meet interesting crazy folks. Oh yea, if for some odd chance that couple from back in early January is reading this blog, sorry. I was very, very drunk (my roommate was driving) and I didn't realize that I said what I said outloud until after it was over. For those of you who are in the dark, good. I'm not reliving all my embarassments on the friggin internet.
Remember, Caffeine is the Debil, Bobby Buche!
Songs on the Playlist (random mix of stuff downloaded recently):
Slaughter - Up All Night
U2 - Angle of Harlem
Nick Glider - Hot Child In The City (this song sucks, delete)
Bob Dylan - All Along The Watchtower (much better)
Matisyahu - King Without a Crown (the rapping reggae Hasydic Jew, CRAZINESS!)
John Hiatt - Paper Thin
Michael Andrews feat Gary Jules - Mad World
Pink Floyd - Welcome To The Machine
Whitesnake - Slow and Easy (no Tawny Kataen, sorry, even I wouldn't put up with her psycho ass. Dude, she beat her husband who was a PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL PLAYER. Bitch can whoop some ass!)
Joe Cocker - My Baby Wrote Me A Letter
Kelis - Trick Me
2/25/2006
2/24/2006
M.I.L.F.
Ok, here is the MILF of the month. Heidi Klum.
This isn't going to be a regular thing, but the other day I was flipping channels and landed on a special on the SI Swimsuit issue. I watched for a second and kept on (I'm not 14; it doesn't keep my attention that much anymore. Sorry). I happened back by after a few minutes and what happened? They were discussing how Heidi Klum was going to have a whole section to herself in an omage to the pinup models of the '40s and '50s...in the painted on outfits! So I found myself unable to keep flipping channels at that point.
I know some of you probably wanted to read some sort of insight into the Memphis social scene or read something philosophical or whatever. Sorry. This can't be passed up. Enjoy.
We will return to our regularly scheduled programming next time.
This isn't going to be a regular thing, but the other day I was flipping channels and landed on a special on the SI Swimsuit issue. I watched for a second and kept on (I'm not 14; it doesn't keep my attention that much anymore. Sorry). I happened back by after a few minutes and what happened? They were discussing how Heidi Klum was going to have a whole section to herself in an omage to the pinup models of the '40s and '50s...in the painted on outfits! So I found myself unable to keep flipping channels at that point.
I know some of you probably wanted to read some sort of insight into the Memphis social scene or read something philosophical or whatever. Sorry. This can't be passed up. Enjoy.
We will return to our regularly scheduled programming next time.
Congrats to the New Mama
My friend Mandy is a new mommy. And she never had to get knocked up. Check out her baby, Gibson. It's some kind of Aussie dog. I can't remember the type, but he is real cute.
Congrats!
2/23/2006
Perverted Post of the Week
Ok, I'm skimming CNN's website a second ago when I read the following headline:
'JURASSIC BEAVER' TURNS THEORY ON ITS TAIL
Sorry, but I had to do a double take. I didn't know if Steven Speilberg needed more money so he was going to direct a porn movie in the Jurassic Park series or if there was some special old timer's whorehouse in Nevada that had opened.
Of course this raises the question, during the whole Jurassic Park movie days, was there a porn created called Jurassic Beaver? If not, what about Jurassic Pork?
Makes you think.
Get back to work before your boss walks in
'JURASSIC BEAVER' TURNS THEORY ON ITS TAIL
Sorry, but I had to do a double take. I didn't know if Steven Speilberg needed more money so he was going to direct a porn movie in the Jurassic Park series or if there was some special old timer's whorehouse in Nevada that had opened.
Of course this raises the question, during the whole Jurassic Park movie days, was there a porn created called Jurassic Beaver? If not, what about Jurassic Pork?
Makes you think.
Get back to work before your boss walks in
2/22/2006
Calendar Dates
These are a few things that are on my calendar. I won't make all of them, but they should all be fun.
Feb 23, Thursday
Wayne Mills Band @ The Levee in Oxford
Wish I could be there. These guys needed a place to crash back in college and stayed with my buddies Gregg and Travis. Apparently they partied til the sun came up drinking whiskey and wrote the greatest song about whiskey ever, titled Whiskey. When everyone arose from their respective drunken sleep, they tried to find where they had written the song. They found the sheet. It looked like a baby had a pen and blank sheet. The only word that was even partially visible was “whiskey”. We caught their show the next night at the Library and it rocked. Check them out if you ever get the chance.
Feb 24, Friday
Gamble Bros. Band @ New Daisy
Feb 25, Saturday
Ptolemy Coronation @ the University Club
Black Tie
Free to Members, $30 to all others
Feb 28, Tuesday
FAT TUESDAY!!!
I have no idea where I’m going
March 9, Thursday
Ptolemy Happy Hour @ the Flying Saucer downtown
6PM (more later)
March 11, Saturday
Phoenix Club Mardi Gras Party & Casino Fundraiser (see post below)
Awesome time. You need to be there. Let me know if you need tickets. I have plenty.
March 23, Thursday
Cowboy Mouth @ Newby’s
Be there. Don’t ask. Just be there. Cowboy Mouth always rocks! I have too many stories about them to post.
April 6, Thursday
Col. Bruce Hampton & The Code Talkers @ HiTone Café in Memphis
That’s all I’ve got for now. More later.
Songs on the Playlist (country mix):
Willie Nelson – Can I Sleep In Your Arms
Roger Creager – Fun All Wrong
Pat Green & Cory Morrow – It’s A Great Day To Be Alive
Johnny Cash - Ring of Fire
Cory Morrow - Big City Stripper
Feb 23, Thursday
Wayne Mills Band @ The Levee in Oxford
Wish I could be there. These guys needed a place to crash back in college and stayed with my buddies Gregg and Travis. Apparently they partied til the sun came up drinking whiskey and wrote the greatest song about whiskey ever, titled Whiskey. When everyone arose from their respective drunken sleep, they tried to find where they had written the song. They found the sheet. It looked like a baby had a pen and blank sheet. The only word that was even partially visible was “whiskey”. We caught their show the next night at the Library and it rocked. Check them out if you ever get the chance.
Feb 24, Friday
Gamble Bros. Band @ New Daisy
Feb 25, Saturday
Ptolemy Coronation @ the University Club
Black Tie
Free to Members, $30 to all others
Feb 28, Tuesday
FAT TUESDAY!!!
I have no idea where I’m going
March 9, Thursday
Ptolemy Happy Hour @ the Flying Saucer downtown
6PM (more later)
March 11, Saturday
Phoenix Club Mardi Gras Party & Casino Fundraiser (see post below)
Awesome time. You need to be there. Let me know if you need tickets. I have plenty.
March 23, Thursday
Cowboy Mouth @ Newby’s
Be there. Don’t ask. Just be there. Cowboy Mouth always rocks! I have too many stories about them to post.
April 6, Thursday
Col. Bruce Hampton & The Code Talkers @ HiTone Café in Memphis
That’s all I’ve got for now. More later.
Songs on the Playlist (country mix):
Willie Nelson – Can I Sleep In Your Arms
Roger Creager – Fun All Wrong
Pat Green & Cory Morrow – It’s A Great Day To Be Alive
Johnny Cash - Ring of Fire
Cory Morrow - Big City Stripper
2/21/2006
Axel is back (or so the rumor has it, again)
I come home from working late and going to the gym, check the internet, and find some disturbing news. Axel Rose's current GNR lineup is almost ready to put out Chinese Democracy...30 years too late (or so it seems). Is anyone else to the point where they just don't care what a 44 year old Axel Rose has left to say? And hasn't this album been schedule to "go out later this year" for the last 10 years in a row? Sorry after the GNR behind the music on VH1, I really don't care too much about Axel. He just seems like a pompous ass.
But who cares about that? There are leaked tracks on the internet!!! What does every red blooded male born between 1970 and 1980 in America automatically want to do when he hears this news? Get copies of the songs. We are all desensitized from hearing the same story year after year since Slash, etc. left the band (Chinese Democracy Out This Year!!). So none of us are ready to wait for the album. But leaked songs? That's a different story. I guess it's time to find someone who's downloaded them and get a copy. Hmm..if I know anyone who'll have anything GNR, it'll have to be Mendi. She may not have a copy but she'll know someone who has it.
Ok, I'm going to hop in the shower and wash off the gym funk.
G'night fellas.
Ladies, I'll see you in my dimly lit room in 15.
Songs on the Playlist (80s Mix):
Mr. Mister - Kyrie
Simple Minds - Don't You Forget About Me
Depeche Mode - Enjoy The Silence
The Knack - My Sharona
Bad English - When I See You Smile
Pat Benatar - Hit Me With Your Best Shot
But who cares about that? There are leaked tracks on the internet!!! What does every red blooded male born between 1970 and 1980 in America automatically want to do when he hears this news? Get copies of the songs. We are all desensitized from hearing the same story year after year since Slash, etc. left the band (Chinese Democracy Out This Year!!). So none of us are ready to wait for the album. But leaked songs? That's a different story. I guess it's time to find someone who's downloaded them and get a copy. Hmm..if I know anyone who'll have anything GNR, it'll have to be Mendi. She may not have a copy but she'll know someone who has it.
Ok, I'm going to hop in the shower and wash off the gym funk.
G'night fellas.
Ladies, I'll see you in my dimly lit room in 15.
Songs on the Playlist (80s Mix):
Mr. Mister - Kyrie
Simple Minds - Don't You Forget About Me
Depeche Mode - Enjoy The Silence
The Knack - My Sharona
Bad English - When I See You Smile
Pat Benatar - Hit Me With Your Best Shot
2/20/2006
DH/GA recaps/thoughts & Deep Philosophy
Ok folks,
Here are a few items I didn't cover earlier.
TV shows:
Desperate Housewives
Ok, I apparently wasn't paying too much attention during the whole Carlos & Gabrielle's mom thing at the hotel. I thought mama was telling the truth and Gabs had lied to her husband. But I read the EW recap and everyone else noticed (and helped point out to me) that Gabs was telling the truth and her Mom is still in complete denial. Either that or a major bitch. Other than that I wasn't too focused on DH. Yea it's good and all, but I'm not too inspired by it. I am inspired by...
Grey's Anatomy
The only thing that I really feel like talking about on that show (I'm sure I'll rant my way into more topics from this show). Why the hell would Meredith sleep with George? I mean seriously? That I don't get. Is it because she had been drinking? Is it because she needed to feed the beast? That is my new favorite phrase by the way. That is an awesome way to describe that beast that all non-virgins feel. I'll go into that a little later.
Ok, here is something I noticed from the show: Meredith has been oblivious to George for the most part while he has been pining away for her for God knows how long (i.e. the whole damn show). It's like the geek in high school who dreams about the head cheerleader who barely knows anything about him because he won't get into her line of sight. He isn't in where he can be seen or noticed in her day to day life. He is off in the shadows of her life. I don't intend for that to sound creepy or anything. Imagine she walks down the hall giggling with one of her friends about God knows what. The young boy is on the side of the hallway watching her. Until he steps into her line of sight she won't notice him. You never notice something until it is right in front of you (i.e. line of sight) like George walking into Meredith's room to declare his undying love for her. So why would Meredith think/how would she know George has these feelings for her. No one but George will ever tell her. And how does he do this? He comes out of the dark shadows of her doorway into her eyesight in the light of the window and declares his undying love for her. Now she notices him. How does she reciprocate his profession of his undying love for her? She takes off his shirt which we are to assume that means she will sleep with him. She doesn't say anything to answer him. She does the only thing she knows how to do now that she is a hollow shell of her old self. She takes him to bed. That's how she first dealt with the pain of losing McDreamy.
Speaking of McDreamy, what is up with McSteamy? I don't get him. It's like I said in Kat's comment section (there's your mention, KS You Skeezer): he looks like a reject from an open casting call for a Robin Hood: Men In Tights sequel (I really doubt they'll get Dave Chappelle back too). He just doesn't look like a stud. Ok, here's my hetero interpretation of both Mc's:
McDreamy looks like a real human being with depth and soul and also some very masculine traits (he likes to sleep with an intern wherever he can and he fly fishes). He just seems like a real man to me. Not a over testosterone idiot or a sensitive puss. The kind of guy I'd like to have a beer with.
McSteamy (McDouche-y) looks like one of those guys who spends 15 hours a week at the gym sculpting his guns (watch out for the guns, they'll get ya!). And what is up with the whole Earl Flynn as Robin Hood look? I don't get that. At least they gave him a little soul. I mean he did give the poor boy a chance to die with his face looking normal instead of one of Cher's kids (I can't reference that movie because I don't know the name...was it Mask?). He looks like one of those guys you see out at Swig. You know the kind. The ones who just think they are too cool to talk to anyone they don't deem 'good enough' by whatever arbitrary, ridiculous standard they come up with. He doesn't seem like the kind of man I'd have a beer with.
Actually that is a great, quick test of a man. Call it a gut instinct. Are you willing to have a drink with a man?
Yes? Why? No? Why?
You need to be able to perform that gut check. If someone is the kind of person you wouldn't want to share time over a drink with, what does that tell you about the difference between their character and yours? Get your head around that one for a while.
Ok kids, I'm jetting. I have too many errands to run tonight.
Keep Your Pimp Hand Strong
Songs on the Playlist:
AC/DC - I've Got Big Balls
Autograph - Turn Up The Radio
Peter Gabriel - In Your Eyes
Mark Chesnutt - Bubba Shot The Jukebox
Marshall Tucker Band - Fire On The Mountain
Little Feat - Time Loves A Hero
Merle Haggard - Okie From Muskogee
Kenny Wayne Shepherd Band - Blue On Black
Cheap Trick - I Want You To Want Me
Beastie Boys - So Whatcha Want
James Taylor - Fire and Rain
Billy Idol - Rebel Yell
Ben Harper - Burn One Down/With My Own Two Hands (Bonnaroo 2002)
Here are a few items I didn't cover earlier.
TV shows:
Desperate Housewives
Ok, I apparently wasn't paying too much attention during the whole Carlos & Gabrielle's mom thing at the hotel. I thought mama was telling the truth and Gabs had lied to her husband. But I read the EW recap and everyone else noticed (and helped point out to me) that Gabs was telling the truth and her Mom is still in complete denial. Either that or a major bitch. Other than that I wasn't too focused on DH. Yea it's good and all, but I'm not too inspired by it. I am inspired by...
Grey's Anatomy
The only thing that I really feel like talking about on that show (I'm sure I'll rant my way into more topics from this show). Why the hell would Meredith sleep with George? I mean seriously? That I don't get. Is it because she had been drinking? Is it because she needed to feed the beast? That is my new favorite phrase by the way. That is an awesome way to describe that beast that all non-virgins feel. I'll go into that a little later.
Ok, here is something I noticed from the show: Meredith has been oblivious to George for the most part while he has been pining away for her for God knows how long (i.e. the whole damn show). It's like the geek in high school who dreams about the head cheerleader who barely knows anything about him because he won't get into her line of sight. He isn't in where he can be seen or noticed in her day to day life. He is off in the shadows of her life. I don't intend for that to sound creepy or anything. Imagine she walks down the hall giggling with one of her friends about God knows what. The young boy is on the side of the hallway watching her. Until he steps into her line of sight she won't notice him. You never notice something until it is right in front of you (i.e. line of sight) like George walking into Meredith's room to declare his undying love for her. So why would Meredith think/how would she know George has these feelings for her. No one but George will ever tell her. And how does he do this? He comes out of the dark shadows of her doorway into her eyesight in the light of the window and declares his undying love for her. Now she notices him. How does she reciprocate his profession of his undying love for her? She takes off his shirt which we are to assume that means she will sleep with him. She doesn't say anything to answer him. She does the only thing she knows how to do now that she is a hollow shell of her old self. She takes him to bed. That's how she first dealt with the pain of losing McDreamy.
Speaking of McDreamy, what is up with McSteamy? I don't get him. It's like I said in Kat's comment section (there's your mention, KS You Skeezer): he looks like a reject from an open casting call for a Robin Hood: Men In Tights sequel (I really doubt they'll get Dave Chappelle back too). He just doesn't look like a stud. Ok, here's my hetero interpretation of both Mc's:
McDreamy looks like a real human being with depth and soul and also some very masculine traits (he likes to sleep with an intern wherever he can and he fly fishes). He just seems like a real man to me. Not a over testosterone idiot or a sensitive puss. The kind of guy I'd like to have a beer with.
McSteamy (McDouche-y) looks like one of those guys who spends 15 hours a week at the gym sculpting his guns (watch out for the guns, they'll get ya!). And what is up with the whole Earl Flynn as Robin Hood look? I don't get that. At least they gave him a little soul. I mean he did give the poor boy a chance to die with his face looking normal instead of one of Cher's kids (I can't reference that movie because I don't know the name...was it Mask?). He looks like one of those guys you see out at Swig. You know the kind. The ones who just think they are too cool to talk to anyone they don't deem 'good enough' by whatever arbitrary, ridiculous standard they come up with. He doesn't seem like the kind of man I'd have a beer with.
Actually that is a great, quick test of a man. Call it a gut instinct. Are you willing to have a drink with a man?
Yes? Why? No? Why?
You need to be able to perform that gut check. If someone is the kind of person you wouldn't want to share time over a drink with, what does that tell you about the difference between their character and yours? Get your head around that one for a while.
Ok kids, I'm jetting. I have too many errands to run tonight.
Keep Your Pimp Hand Strong
Songs on the Playlist:
AC/DC - I've Got Big Balls
Autograph - Turn Up The Radio
Peter Gabriel - In Your Eyes
Mark Chesnutt - Bubba Shot The Jukebox
Marshall Tucker Band - Fire On The Mountain
Little Feat - Time Loves A Hero
Merle Haggard - Okie From Muskogee
Kenny Wayne Shepherd Band - Blue On Black
Cheap Trick - I Want You To Want Me
Beastie Boys - So Whatcha Want
James Taylor - Fire and Rain
Billy Idol - Rebel Yell
Ben Harper - Burn One Down/With My Own Two Hands (Bonnaroo 2002)
Weekend Recap
You know how you set all these illustrious plans and everything changes? Well that’s what this weekend was. How did that happen? Easy: WHITE DEATH 2006, PART DEUX came and changed all the plans. Here is the rundown:
I came home from the office early. I talked to one guy on the phone about running over to his place to check out the apt. I got off that and got a phone call from Tuesday returned. Caught me off guard. Literally. I answered the phone “wow”. I had just fixed two hot dogs to tide me over until dinner later.
Well I was on the phone with this lady for 2 hours. I’m never on the phone for 2 hours. I usually try to get my conversation/topic/objective/whatever done in like 15-20 minutes tops. If I want to have a long conversation with a woman, I’ll do it over a cocktail. Call me old-fashioned. Or maybe single. Whichever.
So I get off the phone and call the guy back to apologize (he called while I was on the phone with her). He’s already left for dinner and won’t be back until later. I told him that was cool because I had to head to Newby’s to meet a few friends for cocktails. So I change into another pair of jeans and a blue shirt. Grab my goose down vest (I love that thing) and go. (quick tangent: Goose down vests are great during the winter! You don’t need to keep your arms as warm as your torso. Plus if you start to get too hot, the heat can escape where the sleeves should be.)
I’m there 3 hours (nursing beer the whole time) when I get a phone call from my friend Mary. She and a few other folks are heading up to the Monkey for drinks. Her friend Patrick is moving to hot-lanta and this is a goodbye deal. Well I did something similar the night before so why not tag along? Here’s the situation: I’m at Newby’s with a bunch of 35 year old + guys who have a hall pass for the next hour or so before they have to come home. I’ve been with them for the last 3 hours. I have single people (mostly women too) at the Monkey. Hmm…what would your testosterone tell you to do? I say my goodbyes to the guys (the evening had started winding down anyway) and roll.
I get to the Monkey after 3 hours of drinking (but amazingly only 4 or 5 beers) and order a Guinness. When I decide to order a round of shots, everyone decides that the jager and goldschlagger are both bad ideas and even worse when combined. So we get a friggin’ round of buttery nipples because those are Nicole’s favorite. (Her name was Nicole right?) Next thing I know we are leaving and I get my tab for…$50! Apparently the shots were 6 a piece and I got 7. Then I had two Guinness at $4 each on top of that. Nice job ego! I’m not buying a round of shots for at least another month or two.
Side note: Patrick was really interested in catching Shirley Q Liquor until he found out he/she was performing at Backstreet Memphis. For those of you who aren’t in the “Midtown-Know” and aren’t versed enough to know where to avoid if you are of a certain persuasion or not, Backstreet is a gay bar. A drag bar. A sausage factory.
“Not that there’s anything wrong with that” Jerry, George, Kramer, and Elaine exclaimed at the same moment.
After I quickly informed Patrick of this info, it was easier to convince them that not only would I not go there, they probably don’t need to go there either. So the debate raged about as to where to head next. The Mt Moriah Performing Arts Center was mentioned. But no one wanted to blow that much cash (ha, did you catch the 8th grade pun there?). So we decided to roll over to Yosemite Sam’s. After that part of the evening, I lose track and the events that I do remember don’t need to be posted as every party involved officially lost the control over their actions and shall henceforth forget all events and people involved. Ha. We had a blast.
The one thing I will mention is about some dude (not in our party) who obviously came from the backwoods of either Frayser or North Mississippi OR Rhodes College. During his duet with “his ol’ lady” he was going to do his best impersonation of Kevin Federline. That of course involved him trying to take his shirt off while his pants defied gravity and clung to the end of his boxers without falling down all the way. Unfortunately for us, he almost succeeded his delirious strip tease before his friends realized exactly what he was trying to do and they tried to stop him and the old lady bartenders ran onto the dance floor to stop him. Oh, you want a review of his performance? Ok, I’ll say that…I would rather watch Billy Bob’s strip tease from Varsity Blues than this knuckle dragging retard’s strip tease. Even in HD. I think I would ralph a whole lot less.
And we got to watch the streets ice over from inside that warm dive! Fun stuff.
So why am I just now posting this, you ask? Well great question. I started to use the internet Saturday when all of a sudden I was connected but couldn’t receive anything from Susie’s wireless modem downstairs. Sunday night at 11 it was still the same problem. How much does that suck, you ask? Well a lot. Imagine being stuck inside your place for over 48 hours without internet and reruns on TV, or worse the Olympics. If it hadn’t been for the Daytona 500 yesterday, I would have grabbed my laptop and run to one of those internet café’s with a bottle of water. (yea I don’t drink coffee)
BTW, I had a haircut at 10:30 on Saturday morning. I didn’t go to sleep until around 4:30/5 that morning. Ever have your haircut in the same clothes from the bar and a wicked hangover? I can now say I have. Getting my hair shampooed was awesome (Melanie always massages my scalp whenever she washes it, but usually the shampoo ladies do it). Getting my hair cut was horrible. Every cut was loud and my eyes were so bloodshot, they were as red as Melanie’s hair. Oh yea, it was bad. But my hair is now cut and not as shaggy as before. Hoorah. :P
Oh yea, I didn’t make it down to Beale. I’m not going to listen to Zydeco music in 9 degree weather! Sorry Beale, I guess Newby’s, the Monkey, and Yo Sam’s got all my cash money. Better luck next time.
Get back loving whoever you gotta love baby!
Songs on the Playlist:
Bob Dylan – Simple Twist of Fate
Black Crowes – She Talks to Angels
Steve Perry – Oh, Sherry
Aerosmith – Big Ten Inch Record
Led Zeppelin – Rock N Roll
The Rolling Stones – She’s a Rainbow
AC/DC – Dirty Deeds (Done Dirt Cheap)
Nitty Gritty Dirt Band – Fishin In The Dark
Cream – Strange Brew
Ugly Kid Joe – Everything About You
Dave Matthews Band - #41
I came home from the office early. I talked to one guy on the phone about running over to his place to check out the apt. I got off that and got a phone call from Tuesday returned. Caught me off guard. Literally. I answered the phone “wow”. I had just fixed two hot dogs to tide me over until dinner later.
Well I was on the phone with this lady for 2 hours. I’m never on the phone for 2 hours. I usually try to get my conversation/topic/objective/whatever done in like 15-20 minutes tops. If I want to have a long conversation with a woman, I’ll do it over a cocktail. Call me old-fashioned. Or maybe single. Whichever.
So I get off the phone and call the guy back to apologize (he called while I was on the phone with her). He’s already left for dinner and won’t be back until later. I told him that was cool because I had to head to Newby’s to meet a few friends for cocktails. So I change into another pair of jeans and a blue shirt. Grab my goose down vest (I love that thing) and go. (quick tangent: Goose down vests are great during the winter! You don’t need to keep your arms as warm as your torso. Plus if you start to get too hot, the heat can escape where the sleeves should be.)
I’m there 3 hours (nursing beer the whole time) when I get a phone call from my friend Mary. She and a few other folks are heading up to the Monkey for drinks. Her friend Patrick is moving to hot-lanta and this is a goodbye deal. Well I did something similar the night before so why not tag along? Here’s the situation: I’m at Newby’s with a bunch of 35 year old + guys who have a hall pass for the next hour or so before they have to come home. I’ve been with them for the last 3 hours. I have single people (mostly women too) at the Monkey. Hmm…what would your testosterone tell you to do? I say my goodbyes to the guys (the evening had started winding down anyway) and roll.
I get to the Monkey after 3 hours of drinking (but amazingly only 4 or 5 beers) and order a Guinness. When I decide to order a round of shots, everyone decides that the jager and goldschlagger are both bad ideas and even worse when combined. So we get a friggin’ round of buttery nipples because those are Nicole’s favorite. (Her name was Nicole right?) Next thing I know we are leaving and I get my tab for…$50! Apparently the shots were 6 a piece and I got 7. Then I had two Guinness at $4 each on top of that. Nice job ego! I’m not buying a round of shots for at least another month or two.
Side note: Patrick was really interested in catching Shirley Q Liquor until he found out he/she was performing at Backstreet Memphis. For those of you who aren’t in the “Midtown-Know” and aren’t versed enough to know where to avoid if you are of a certain persuasion or not, Backstreet is a gay bar. A drag bar. A sausage factory.
“Not that there’s anything wrong with that” Jerry, George, Kramer, and Elaine exclaimed at the same moment.
After I quickly informed Patrick of this info, it was easier to convince them that not only would I not go there, they probably don’t need to go there either. So the debate raged about as to where to head next. The Mt Moriah Performing Arts Center was mentioned. But no one wanted to blow that much cash (ha, did you catch the 8th grade pun there?). So we decided to roll over to Yosemite Sam’s. After that part of the evening, I lose track and the events that I do remember don’t need to be posted as every party involved officially lost the control over their actions and shall henceforth forget all events and people involved. Ha. We had a blast.
The one thing I will mention is about some dude (not in our party) who obviously came from the backwoods of either Frayser or North Mississippi OR Rhodes College. During his duet with “his ol’ lady” he was going to do his best impersonation of Kevin Federline. That of course involved him trying to take his shirt off while his pants defied gravity and clung to the end of his boxers without falling down all the way. Unfortunately for us, he almost succeeded his delirious strip tease before his friends realized exactly what he was trying to do and they tried to stop him and the old lady bartenders ran onto the dance floor to stop him. Oh, you want a review of his performance? Ok, I’ll say that…I would rather watch Billy Bob’s strip tease from Varsity Blues than this knuckle dragging retard’s strip tease. Even in HD. I think I would ralph a whole lot less.
And we got to watch the streets ice over from inside that warm dive! Fun stuff.
So why am I just now posting this, you ask? Well great question. I started to use the internet Saturday when all of a sudden I was connected but couldn’t receive anything from Susie’s wireless modem downstairs. Sunday night at 11 it was still the same problem. How much does that suck, you ask? Well a lot. Imagine being stuck inside your place for over 48 hours without internet and reruns on TV, or worse the Olympics. If it hadn’t been for the Daytona 500 yesterday, I would have grabbed my laptop and run to one of those internet café’s with a bottle of water. (yea I don’t drink coffee)
BTW, I had a haircut at 10:30 on Saturday morning. I didn’t go to sleep until around 4:30/5 that morning. Ever have your haircut in the same clothes from the bar and a wicked hangover? I can now say I have. Getting my hair shampooed was awesome (Melanie always massages my scalp whenever she washes it, but usually the shampoo ladies do it). Getting my hair cut was horrible. Every cut was loud and my eyes were so bloodshot, they were as red as Melanie’s hair. Oh yea, it was bad. But my hair is now cut and not as shaggy as before. Hoorah. :P
Oh yea, I didn’t make it down to Beale. I’m not going to listen to Zydeco music in 9 degree weather! Sorry Beale, I guess Newby’s, the Monkey, and Yo Sam’s got all my cash money. Better luck next time.
Get back loving whoever you gotta love baby!
Songs on the Playlist:
Bob Dylan – Simple Twist of Fate
Black Crowes – She Talks to Angels
Steve Perry – Oh, Sherry
Aerosmith – Big Ten Inch Record
Led Zeppelin – Rock N Roll
The Rolling Stones – She’s a Rainbow
AC/DC – Dirty Deeds (Done Dirt Cheap)
Nitty Gritty Dirt Band – Fishin In The Dark
Cream – Strange Brew
Ugly Kid Joe – Everything About You
Dave Matthews Band - #41
2/16/2006
Ciao Bud
Quick post. I have to leave the office and run a few errands. Before I head out for the night.
Tonight we are saying goodbye to our friend Zac. No, he's not dead. He's moving for his job to Nashville. Yes that's right, he's leaving beautiful crime-free Memphis for Nashvegas. Blech.
We are going to miss his crazy ass. Big Spreadhead. Always has a smile and a kind thing to say. He's one of those guys who always makes you smile. An all around good guy. I met him through the Phoenix Club and we've been good friends for the last 2-3 years. We've been to a couple of Panic shows together and seen a few great bands at Newby's and the Daisy in our time. I even ran into him at Bonnaroo 2003. We were staying in different areas of the place and happened to run into each other in the middle of the night on the road. 50,000+ folks and I run into this joker on the road at night. We were both blitzed out of our minds and hardly recognized each other at first. It was weird. Funny as hell though.
A few of us are taking him to El Porton for dinner then meeting up with more folks at Newby's. I don't plan on being out that late. I'll take my camera but I know that the damn batteries are almost gone. Oh well. I needed an excuse to get a charger anyway. If I get any decent pics, I'll post them. Hopefully it won't be too crowded, but hey we are getting there before 9.
Anywho if you know Zac, stop by and say goodbye. He is leaving Saturday, and this is the only time we can really get everyone together to say bye. I think he'll be back for the Mardi Gras party next month.
A'ight I'm outta here. Remember kids, drink your alcohol. Caffeine is bad for you.
Songs on the Playlist (not many songs on work computer):
Led Zeppelin - Dancing Days
INXS - Mystify
Jimi Hendrix - Angel
The Rolling Stones - It's All Over Now
INXS - What You Need
Tonight we are saying goodbye to our friend Zac. No, he's not dead. He's moving for his job to Nashville. Yes that's right, he's leaving beautiful crime-free Memphis for Nashvegas. Blech.
We are going to miss his crazy ass. Big Spreadhead. Always has a smile and a kind thing to say. He's one of those guys who always makes you smile. An all around good guy. I met him through the Phoenix Club and we've been good friends for the last 2-3 years. We've been to a couple of Panic shows together and seen a few great bands at Newby's and the Daisy in our time. I even ran into him at Bonnaroo 2003. We were staying in different areas of the place and happened to run into each other in the middle of the night on the road. 50,000+ folks and I run into this joker on the road at night. We were both blitzed out of our minds and hardly recognized each other at first. It was weird. Funny as hell though.
A few of us are taking him to El Porton for dinner then meeting up with more folks at Newby's. I don't plan on being out that late. I'll take my camera but I know that the damn batteries are almost gone. Oh well. I needed an excuse to get a charger anyway. If I get any decent pics, I'll post them. Hopefully it won't be too crowded, but hey we are getting there before 9.
Anywho if you know Zac, stop by and say goodbye. He is leaving Saturday, and this is the only time we can really get everyone together to say bye. I think he'll be back for the Mardi Gras party next month.
A'ight I'm outta here. Remember kids, drink your alcohol. Caffeine is bad for you.
Songs on the Playlist (not many songs on work computer):
Led Zeppelin - Dancing Days
INXS - Mystify
Jimi Hendrix - Angel
The Rolling Stones - It's All Over Now
INXS - What You Need
2/15/2006
Well Crap
I was going to post something interesting tonight. But now I can't remember what it was. How did I forget this? Well glad you asked. My roommate just told me that he has decided to move out at the end of this month. Basically our lease is up at the end of this month. He found another guy to move in with. I can't go into details about his profession or anything like that, because it is not my place to do so. But long story short, he is taking his daily commute from 15-20 minutes up to at least 45 minutes. That makes no sense to me.
When I first moved home from college, I lived at home with the 'rents and a sister who was still in high school. That was fine...for three months. Then opportunity came knocking and I decided to move out and in with David (there, are you happy? you made the blog again). I lived there near Southwind from December until April. I moved to Midtown and have been in three apartments in Midtown ever since. Sorry but I really don't want to move back to G'town. To explain how this relates to the commute discussion earlier, here are the daily travel times (in rush hour) from my residence to work (same job the whole time):
G'town: 45-50 minutes (during construction along Nonconnah and along I-240)
Southwind: 40-45 minuts (ditto)
First Midtown Apartment: 15-20 minutes
Second Midtown Apt: ditto (just down the street actually)
Current Midtown Apt: 12-15 minutes with hardly any traffic at all
Ok, I know the construction is gone on Nonconnah and I-240 near Mt Moriah, Perkins, Getwell, etc. I actually had to go to East Memphis the other day for an errand just after work. What happened? I was to Poplar & Ridgeway in like 20 minutes. Much faster than it used to be. I was impressed, but still. I love my folks, but I have been in Midtown too long and my independent spirit just won't let me move home. EVEN IF I will say a shitload of money (which would be nice). Plus my social life and friend base are in the midtown/downtown/east memphis area. That's another factor that keeps me here. Plus who wants to drive home from the bar into G'town anyway? And where am I gonna keep all the junk I've accumulated?
Oh too many questions going through my head. I've got too much to think about. And I've been running all this through my head for the last hour and half. I think I'm going to bed.
Just so you won't think this post is a complete waste and a rent, here is a great pic I took of our fireplace at the duckhouse. It is the best fire place that I have ever seen. It is a thousand times better than the one mom and dad have at home. It is probably 2 feet wide by 3 feet tall by 2 feet deep. In the coldest part of winter, I can build a fire in it that will make you step outside into the chill with a tshirt on. It was built in the 50s we think. Great old house in the country. It is a beautiful picture. I hope you enjoy it.
When I first moved home from college, I lived at home with the 'rents and a sister who was still in high school. That was fine...for three months. Then opportunity came knocking and I decided to move out and in with David (there, are you happy? you made the blog again). I lived there near Southwind from December until April. I moved to Midtown and have been in three apartments in Midtown ever since. Sorry but I really don't want to move back to G'town. To explain how this relates to the commute discussion earlier, here are the daily travel times (in rush hour) from my residence to work (same job the whole time):
G'town: 45-50 minutes (during construction along Nonconnah and along I-240)
Southwind: 40-45 minuts (ditto)
First Midtown Apartment: 15-20 minutes
Second Midtown Apt: ditto (just down the street actually)
Current Midtown Apt: 12-15 minutes with hardly any traffic at all
Ok, I know the construction is gone on Nonconnah and I-240 near Mt Moriah, Perkins, Getwell, etc. I actually had to go to East Memphis the other day for an errand just after work. What happened? I was to Poplar & Ridgeway in like 20 minutes. Much faster than it used to be. I was impressed, but still. I love my folks, but I have been in Midtown too long and my independent spirit just won't let me move home. EVEN IF I will say a shitload of money (which would be nice). Plus my social life and friend base are in the midtown/downtown/east memphis area. That's another factor that keeps me here. Plus who wants to drive home from the bar into G'town anyway? And where am I gonna keep all the junk I've accumulated?
Oh too many questions going through my head. I've got too much to think about. And I've been running all this through my head for the last hour and half. I think I'm going to bed.
Just so you won't think this post is a complete waste and a rent, here is a great pic I took of our fireplace at the duckhouse. It is the best fire place that I have ever seen. It is a thousand times better than the one mom and dad have at home. It is probably 2 feet wide by 3 feet tall by 2 feet deep. In the coldest part of winter, I can build a fire in it that will make you step outside into the chill with a tshirt on. It was built in the 50s we think. Great old house in the country. It is a beautiful picture. I hope you enjoy it.
Songs on the Playlist:
Tenacious D - Tribute to the Best Song in the World
Phish - Weekapaug Groove
Led Zeppelin - Dazed and Confused
The Grateful Dead - Casey Jones
Hank Williams - I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry
Zydeco Fest 2006
Here is the official listing for Zydeco Fest from the Beale Street Merchants Association:
Club 152 (where they have metal detector wands apparently now)
Nathan & The Zydeco Cha Chas – (7:00 – 10:30)
Alfred's
Samo’ 2 Step w/ Lil’ Guyland Leday-(6:30-10:30)
Wet Willie's
Curley Taylor and Zydeco Trouble – (10:00 –1:00)
New Daisy
Curley Taylor and Zydeco Trouble – (7:00 – 9:00)
Dennis Stroughmatt and Creole Stomp-(10:00-12:00)
Blues Hall
Delta Highway - (8:30 – 12:30)
Silky's
Roy Carrier (9:30 – 1:00)
Pat O'Briens
Cedryl Ballou - (9:30 – 1:30)
Tap Room
Thomas “The Big Hat Man” Fields & his Foot Stompin’ Zydeco Band – (8:00-12:00)
B.B. King's
Dora & The Zydeco Badboyz (7:30 – 11:30)
King's Palace Cafe
T. Broussard & the Zydeco Hot Steppers- (9:00-1:00)
Rum Boogie Cafe
Willis Prudhomme & Zydeco Express- (9:00-1:00)
Blues City Cafe
Corey & Zydeco Embrace- (10:00 –2:00)
Handy Park
Dennis Stroughmatt & Creole Stomp – (6:00 – 9:00)
That's the line up. When I went two years ago, we stayed at Rum Boogie the whole time or ran to the bar right next to it. Course I was so into the whole vibe that I didn't pay attention to what the bar is. And the last time I was on Beale I went to either Silky's or Pat O's. So I don't know where I'm going. I don't know any of these bands by name, but who needs to? I don't know who all is going with us, but I'm sure it'll be a nice group. Mike the Cordova recluse might actually come out with us. If so, I'll have to take a pic of that.
Until later kiddies
Songs on the Playlist:
The Who - Shakin' All Over (live at leeds version)
The Rolling Stones - Dead Flowers
Led Zeppelin - Your Time Is Gonna Come
The Rolling Stones - Mother's Little Helper
Bob Dylan - Idiot Wind
Club 152 (where they have metal detector wands apparently now)
Nathan & The Zydeco Cha Chas – (7:00 – 10:30)
Alfred's
Samo’ 2 Step w/ Lil’ Guyland Leday-(6:30-10:30)
Wet Willie's
Curley Taylor and Zydeco Trouble – (10:00 –1:00)
New Daisy
Curley Taylor and Zydeco Trouble – (7:00 – 9:00)
Dennis Stroughmatt and Creole Stomp-(10:00-12:00)
Blues Hall
Delta Highway - (8:30 – 12:30)
Silky's
Roy Carrier (9:30 – 1:00)
Pat O'Briens
Cedryl Ballou - (9:30 – 1:30)
Tap Room
Thomas “The Big Hat Man” Fields & his Foot Stompin’ Zydeco Band – (8:00-12:00)
B.B. King's
Dora & The Zydeco Badboyz (7:30 – 11:30)
King's Palace Cafe
T. Broussard & the Zydeco Hot Steppers- (9:00-1:00)
Rum Boogie Cafe
Willis Prudhomme & Zydeco Express- (9:00-1:00)
Blues City Cafe
Corey & Zydeco Embrace- (10:00 –2:00)
Handy Park
Dennis Stroughmatt & Creole Stomp – (6:00 – 9:00)
That's the line up. When I went two years ago, we stayed at Rum Boogie the whole time or ran to the bar right next to it. Course I was so into the whole vibe that I didn't pay attention to what the bar is. And the last time I was on Beale I went to either Silky's or Pat O's. So I don't know where I'm going. I don't know any of these bands by name, but who needs to? I don't know who all is going with us, but I'm sure it'll be a nice group. Mike the Cordova recluse might actually come out with us. If so, I'll have to take a pic of that.
Until later kiddies
Songs on the Playlist:
The Who - Shakin' All Over (live at leeds version)
The Rolling Stones - Dead Flowers
Led Zeppelin - Your Time Is Gonna Come
The Rolling Stones - Mother's Little Helper
Bob Dylan - Idiot Wind
2/12/2006
Random
I landed on BBCAmerica earlier. They are playing a the Coupling episodes in a row. I love this show. I haven't seen it in a while even though I own the series on DVD. It was only four seasons. I don't know why. I know they tried to bring it to the US but it just wouldn't work. You can't take a show that's at 30 minutes without commercials and put it on US TV without losing parts of it. Still it's a great show.
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I just picked up the tickets for the Phoenix Club's Mardi Gras party. Here are the details (email me for tickets):
Annual Phoenix Club Mardi Gras Party and Casino Night
Saturday, March 11, 2006
8pm until 1am
The University Club of Memphis
Featuring Casino Games, Live Entertainment, Silent Auction, High Roller Poker Tournament, Libations (Beer, Wine, & Cash Bar), and General Chicanery
All Benefitting the Boys & Girls Clubs of Greater Memphis
Entertainmnet brought to you by Big Sam's Funky Nation.
Tickets:
$70 Per Couple in Advance, $90 at the Door
$50 For a Single in Advance, $70 at the Door
High Roller Room Poker Tournament: $100 Entry Fee
***Buisness Casual or Festive Attire
Here are a few pics from last year::
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I just picked up the tickets for the Phoenix Club's Mardi Gras party. Here are the details (email me for tickets):
Annual Phoenix Club Mardi Gras Party and Casino Night
Saturday, March 11, 2006
8pm until 1am
The University Club of Memphis
Featuring Casino Games, Live Entertainment, Silent Auction, High Roller Poker Tournament, Libations (Beer, Wine, & Cash Bar), and General Chicanery
All Benefitting the Boys & Girls Clubs of Greater Memphis
Entertainmnet brought to you by Big Sam's Funky Nation.
Tickets:
$70 Per Couple in Advance, $90 at the Door
$50 For a Single in Advance, $70 at the Door
High Roller Room Poker Tournament: $100 Entry Fee
***Buisness Casual or Festive Attire
Here are a few pics from last year::
As you can tell it was a blast. It is supposed to be better this year. I have 15 tickets now and we are on pace to sell out all the tickets before the party. I'll get more pics this year. That is if I can find the battery charger anytime soon. It's been lost for almost a month. I hate losing stuff. Drives me crazy.
Adios folks. Remember to drink alcohol and not coffee.
Quote of the Post: Molly Ringwald in Not Another Teen Movie "I believe masturbation is healthy."
Songs On The Playlist:
Jimmy Buffett - Overkill
Bob Marley - I Shot The Sheriff
Jack Johnson - It's All Understood
Jimmy Buffett - School Boy Heart
Jimmy Buffett - Chanson Pour Les Petits Enfants
Bob Marley - Jamming
Jimmy Buffett - Only Time Will Tell
Jimmy Buffett - Ragtop Day
Jimmy Buffett - Fins
Jack Johnson - If I Could
Jimmy Buffett - Lovely Cruise
Jimmy Buffett - Who's The Blonde Stranger?
Jack Johnson - Gone
(By the way, I have no idea why it all of a sudden it went to double space. Sorry.)
2/10/2006
White Death 2006 or why I am glad I don't live in the Suburbs
Let's talk about it folks. WHITE DEATH FROM ABOVE 2006. The snow that will kill all of Memphis has finally arrived. Run towards the South and save yourself! We will all perish this weekend from a cold and silent killer. Ha! The Hoopleheads in this town are absolutely ridiculous. They can't drive and they, not the weather, screw up the road.
Everyone with kids in school/daycare left the office today between 2:30 and 3:30. One guy left around 3:20. He called me at 4:05. He had just gotten to Union Baptist at Union & Cooper. Quick logistics lesson: our office is in South Memphis right off exit 8 or 9 on I-55. To get to Union & Cooper from our office, you take I-55 to malfunction junction, midtown 240 to the Union Ave exit, and Union straight to Cooper. On a good day in rush hour, it should take no longer than 15-20 minutes tops. On the weekends, I'd say probably 10 minutes. It took him 45 minutes. He said everyone on the interstate was going 25 mph and it was bumper to bumper. He said Union was worse with everyone going 15 to 20 mph. There were the various hoodies with their spinners darting in and out of traffic of course, but that's a given. Anyway, he left Union & Cooper around 4:10. He lives near Kimbrough & Poplar in G'town. At 4:50 I left the office. I drove to the post office on Union and then came home. I was home at 5:15. At that point I called him. He was almost to Kirby in Gtown. That's bad. That's why I like living in Midtown as opposed to the suburbs. Traffic on Peabody is very low right now.
I spoke to my folks. My dad left at 4:30 and had to drive almost to Collierville. It was bumper to bumper the whole way. He got home sometime after 5:30. That is ridiculous.
Anyway, Midtown rocks. I love it. Weird thing is I grew up in G'town and was always wary of Midtown. I've lived here since April 2003 and I still love it.
The other thing I've noticed about the WHITE DEATH FROM ABOVE 2006, every weather nerd in the Memphis area is walking around with a massive hard-on. Anyone else ever notice how anytime we have any type of severe/crazy weather these guys act like they are on crack? WTF? They are talking about it on Fox 13 and they just interviewed some truck driver about the conditions. He was some damn coon-ass from Louisianna. Real funny. I love that coonass accent. They just got him back on camera: "You know, it jus da snow. It gon' be worth da wait."
Songs on the Playlist:
Jimmy Buffett "License To Chill" album
Everyone with kids in school/daycare left the office today between 2:30 and 3:30. One guy left around 3:20. He called me at 4:05. He had just gotten to Union Baptist at Union & Cooper. Quick logistics lesson: our office is in South Memphis right off exit 8 or 9 on I-55. To get to Union & Cooper from our office, you take I-55 to malfunction junction, midtown 240 to the Union Ave exit, and Union straight to Cooper. On a good day in rush hour, it should take no longer than 15-20 minutes tops. On the weekends, I'd say probably 10 minutes. It took him 45 minutes. He said everyone on the interstate was going 25 mph and it was bumper to bumper. He said Union was worse with everyone going 15 to 20 mph. There were the various hoodies with their spinners darting in and out of traffic of course, but that's a given. Anyway, he left Union & Cooper around 4:10. He lives near Kimbrough & Poplar in G'town. At 4:50 I left the office. I drove to the post office on Union and then came home. I was home at 5:15. At that point I called him. He was almost to Kirby in Gtown. That's bad. That's why I like living in Midtown as opposed to the suburbs. Traffic on Peabody is very low right now.
I spoke to my folks. My dad left at 4:30 and had to drive almost to Collierville. It was bumper to bumper the whole way. He got home sometime after 5:30. That is ridiculous.
Anyway, Midtown rocks. I love it. Weird thing is I grew up in G'town and was always wary of Midtown. I've lived here since April 2003 and I still love it.
The other thing I've noticed about the WHITE DEATH FROM ABOVE 2006, every weather nerd in the Memphis area is walking around with a massive hard-on. Anyone else ever notice how anytime we have any type of severe/crazy weather these guys act like they are on crack? WTF? They are talking about it on Fox 13 and they just interviewed some truck driver about the conditions. He was some damn coon-ass from Louisianna. Real funny. I love that coonass accent. They just got him back on camera: "You know, it jus da snow. It gon' be worth da wait."
Songs on the Playlist:
Jimmy Buffett "License To Chill" album
2/08/2006
There's A New Sheriff In Town
Lost tonight...WAS AWESOME! After having been stuck on an island for all this time, Sawyer can still pull a con if he needs it. I think the moral of this story is don't cross anyone. If you missed it, what's wrong with you? Great show. I actually slept through it, but since I recorded it on my DVR, I woke up around 9:15 and turned it on. General theme through the whole show (both flashback and on island) Sawyer will put aside his personal feelings to keep the upper hand and/or continue the con even if it means giving up on love (with Cassidy in the flashback and Kate on the Island). Speaking of Cassidy, here is a little weird theory I came up with that:
Cassidy is an old Grateful Dead song. It was played a lot back in the early 70s when they were into the old western bluegrass type music (see both Workingman's Dead and American Beauty albums). It's not from those albums, but after those albums, a lot of their live shows included that song. Of course since it was the Grateful Dead, they played most anything. But I always associate the song Cassidy with the old west (don't know the words by heart, but that's the feeling I get). So who played Cassidy on the show? The same actress who played Joanie Stubbs in Deadwood on HBO. Isn't that a show in the old west? Hmm...and what was Sawyer's comment to the crowd? "There's a new sheriff in town."
And look there is the actor who plays Sawyer on Conan. Nice. Josh Holloway is a funny guy. Great actor.
Ok, item next. Tomorrow night is the Ptolemy Happy Hour for February at Dan McGuinness in East Memphis by Target (pronounced Tar-Je'). Be there. We're gonna have a large time.
And yes, the email was edited off the invite.
Have a great evening. And remember, drink alcohol not caffeine.
Songs on the Playlist:
Chris Isaak - Life Will Go On
Jay-Z - Jigga My Nigga
Jay-Z - I Just Wanna Love U
Jay-Z ft Aliyah - Can I Get A
Jay-Z - Big Pimpin
Cassidy is an old Grateful Dead song. It was played a lot back in the early 70s when they were into the old western bluegrass type music (see both Workingman's Dead and American Beauty albums). It's not from those albums, but after those albums, a lot of their live shows included that song. Of course since it was the Grateful Dead, they played most anything. But I always associate the song Cassidy with the old west (don't know the words by heart, but that's the feeling I get). So who played Cassidy on the show? The same actress who played Joanie Stubbs in Deadwood on HBO. Isn't that a show in the old west? Hmm...and what was Sawyer's comment to the crowd? "There's a new sheriff in town."
And look there is the actor who plays Sawyer on Conan. Nice. Josh Holloway is a funny guy. Great actor.
Ok, item next. Tomorrow night is the Ptolemy Happy Hour for February at Dan McGuinness in East Memphis by Target (pronounced Tar-Je'). Be there. We're gonna have a large time.
And yes, the email was edited off the invite.
Have a great evening. And remember, drink alcohol not caffeine.
Songs on the Playlist:
Chris Isaak - Life Will Go On
Jay-Z - Jigga My Nigga
Jay-Z - I Just Wanna Love U
Jay-Z ft Aliyah - Can I Get A
Jay-Z - Big Pimpin
2/07/2006
Upcoming Schedule
Here are a few items of note:
This Thursday Feb. 9, the Grand Krewe of Ptolemy (http://www.ptolemymemphis.com/) is having our February Happy Hour at Dan McGuinness Irish Pub in East Memphis. It starts around 6PM. As always, we're laid back and just hanging out. This is our last Happy Hour before Coronation on Feb. 25 at the UClub (more info on that later).
Ok, the big news, ZYDECO FEST IS BACK BABY!!! The quick story behind my enthusiasm:
Two years ago, I saw a billboard advertising for it. I didn't know anything about it. Ok, I know Beale St. and I know Zydeco. But I never knew there was a Zydeco Fest on Beale St!?! So I grabbed David P. and we went to Beale on a warm Saturday night in February. Paid to get a wristband for the clubs. Went to Rum Boogie Cafe and listened to an unfreaking believable Zydeco band. I don't know their name. But when you're having a great time, what does it matter?
So anywho, I was driving down Central the other day when I saw a billboard for The 14th Annual Beale Street Zydeco Fest. Hells Yea! Well, here are the particulars: $12 gets you into 14 participating clubs on Beale St from 5PM to 5AM. Now there isn't music playing from 5 to 5. Raynata from the Beale Street Merchants Association emailed me the list of who and where and when. I don't have Word on my new laptop yet, but I'll print it out at work and post it at a later date.
The short and sweet thing you need to know is BE THERE. No questions, no hesitation. Just BE THERE.
If I get any great pictures from either function, I'll post them. I'd say those would make the subjects famous, but would it?
That's all for now. I'm going to hop in the shower and then go to bed.
Quote of the Post: Dick Vitale is a friggin douche.
Songs on the Playlist:
Paul Simon - Me and Julia Down by the Schoolyard
Journey (Steve Perry?) - Oh, Sherry
Eric Clapton - Breaking Point
Def Leppard - Bringin on the Heartbreak
Cowboy Mouth - How Do You Tell Someone?
The Doors - Alabama Song (Whiskey Bar)
Coldplay - In My Place
Robert Earl Keen - Furnace Fan
Johnny Cash - Boy Named Sue
This Thursday Feb. 9, the Grand Krewe of Ptolemy (http://www.ptolemymemphis.com/) is having our February Happy Hour at Dan McGuinness Irish Pub in East Memphis. It starts around 6PM. As always, we're laid back and just hanging out. This is our last Happy Hour before Coronation on Feb. 25 at the UClub (more info on that later).
Ok, the big news, ZYDECO FEST IS BACK BABY!!! The quick story behind my enthusiasm:
Two years ago, I saw a billboard advertising for it. I didn't know anything about it. Ok, I know Beale St. and I know Zydeco. But I never knew there was a Zydeco Fest on Beale St!?! So I grabbed David P. and we went to Beale on a warm Saturday night in February. Paid to get a wristband for the clubs. Went to Rum Boogie Cafe and listened to an unfreaking believable Zydeco band. I don't know their name. But when you're having a great time, what does it matter?
So anywho, I was driving down Central the other day when I saw a billboard for The 14th Annual Beale Street Zydeco Fest. Hells Yea! Well, here are the particulars: $12 gets you into 14 participating clubs on Beale St from 5PM to 5AM. Now there isn't music playing from 5 to 5. Raynata from the Beale Street Merchants Association emailed me the list of who and where and when. I don't have Word on my new laptop yet, but I'll print it out at work and post it at a later date.
The short and sweet thing you need to know is BE THERE. No questions, no hesitation. Just BE THERE.
If I get any great pictures from either function, I'll post them. I'd say those would make the subjects famous, but would it?
That's all for now. I'm going to hop in the shower and then go to bed.
Quote of the Post: Dick Vitale is a friggin douche.
Songs on the Playlist:
Paul Simon - Me and Julia Down by the Schoolyard
Journey (Steve Perry?) - Oh, Sherry
Eric Clapton - Breaking Point
Def Leppard - Bringin on the Heartbreak
Cowboy Mouth - How Do You Tell Someone?
The Doors - Alabama Song (Whiskey Bar)
Coldplay - In My Place
Robert Earl Keen - Furnace Fan
Johnny Cash - Boy Named Sue
2/06/2006
Super Bowl XL...Xtra Lame
Wow, that is a ri-donk-ulously bad title. Sorry though, I could not resist. This Super Bowl was extra stupid. Bad game. Weak commercials. Overall bad. But Trip & Elaine's party was great. A lot of gossip. A lot of funny stories. A lot of great times with good friends (and people I don't know). But we have a good story (and not about me!):
After going to the Ramet coronation the night before, a lot of last year's Ptolemy royalty and friends went to the bar and were boozing late into the morning. After Joey R. got home (Laura drove...thank God), he got in bed/was put in bed. After he was asleep for a while/passed out for a few minutes, he rolled over in bed and asked Laura, "Where am I?"
"You're in our bed honey."
"How did I get here?"
"I drove."
"Good."
Ok and maybe that wasn't as great when typed. But still funny to me. You need to know Joey R. That makes it that much better.
But the party was fun. Lots of good food. Lots of metal bottled beer. I love that stuff.
I was at Newby's earlier. Patrick was cooking. The Cajun Chicken Sandwich was over spiced. Overly hot. Still good though. But more than I was looking for. Oh well. I've had a cigar. A few beers and I am happy.
And Shawna is still a hottie. Now why does she have a boyfriend? Oh yeah, she's a hottie. Remember to always tip well there. These are hard working people who deal with a lot of idiots...all the time.
Ok, go to bed. You have work in the F-ing morning. blech
Quote of the Post: "You must be Jake, and you must be Jake's Grandma." - bimbo (Kandi) talking to Jake's mom, Judith, in Two & Half Men (GREAT EPISODE FOR ALAN!)
Second Quote of the Post: "Sounds like she got laid before the sod did" - Charlie
Songs on the Playlist:
The Band - Mystery Train (from Last Waltz)
Jimmy Buffett - Door Number Three
The Grateful Dead - New Speedway Boogie
Jimmy Buffett - Volcano
Phil Collins - Sussudio
INXS - Suicide Blonde
Jimi Hendrix - Are You Experienced?
The Cars - You Might Think I'm Crazy
Counting Crows - Mr. Jones and Me
After going to the Ramet coronation the night before, a lot of last year's Ptolemy royalty and friends went to the bar and were boozing late into the morning. After Joey R. got home (Laura drove...thank God), he got in bed/was put in bed. After he was asleep for a while/passed out for a few minutes, he rolled over in bed and asked Laura, "Where am I?"
"You're in our bed honey."
"How did I get here?"
"I drove."
"Good."
Ok and maybe that wasn't as great when typed. But still funny to me. You need to know Joey R. That makes it that much better.
But the party was fun. Lots of good food. Lots of metal bottled beer. I love that stuff.
I was at Newby's earlier. Patrick was cooking. The Cajun Chicken Sandwich was over spiced. Overly hot. Still good though. But more than I was looking for. Oh well. I've had a cigar. A few beers and I am happy.
And Shawna is still a hottie. Now why does she have a boyfriend? Oh yeah, she's a hottie. Remember to always tip well there. These are hard working people who deal with a lot of idiots...all the time.
Ok, go to bed. You have work in the F-ing morning. blech
Quote of the Post: "You must be Jake, and you must be Jake's Grandma." - bimbo (Kandi) talking to Jake's mom, Judith, in Two & Half Men (GREAT EPISODE FOR ALAN!)
Second Quote of the Post: "Sounds like she got laid before the sod did" - Charlie
Songs on the Playlist:
The Band - Mystery Train (from Last Waltz)
Jimmy Buffett - Door Number Three
The Grateful Dead - New Speedway Boogie
Jimmy Buffett - Volcano
Phil Collins - Sussudio
INXS - Suicide Blonde
Jimi Hendrix - Are You Experienced?
The Cars - You Might Think I'm Crazy
Counting Crows - Mr. Jones and Me
2/05/2006
Personal Musical Observation
I was driving home from church today when a Led Zeppelin song from their second album came on the radio. I came to an immediate realization. There are songs/bands that you play so much in your life that they tend to fade out of your soundtrack. Led Zeppelin is one of those for me. I have listened to Zeppelin since the early 90s. Then within the last two years, they've kinda faded out of my playlist. I know you have songs/bands like this. But when it came on the radio today I realized how great their music was. I have made a personal promise to start listening to more Zeppelin. Especially the first two albums. Those are a little more bluesy than the rest...in my opinion. I mean they are still cutting their teeth on their musical talents.
Ok, what else is going on...IT'S SUPER B*WL SUNDAY! I can't say that or else the NFL will sue me. Dicks! I'm heading over to Trip & Elaine's house. There are supposed to be about 25-30 people there. If we have any awesome stories/embarassing stories, I will relay them later. As usual, I won't relay last names. If you are in the know in that circle then you will know who did what.
Have fun tonight kiddies!
No Quote today :(
Songs on the playlist:
Led Zeppelin II album
Ok, what else is going on...IT'S SUPER B*WL SUNDAY! I can't say that or else the NFL will sue me. Dicks! I'm heading over to Trip & Elaine's house. There are supposed to be about 25-30 people there. If we have any awesome stories/embarassing stories, I will relay them later. As usual, I won't relay last names. If you are in the know in that circle then you will know who did what.
Have fun tonight kiddies!
No Quote today :(
Songs on the playlist:
Led Zeppelin II album
2/01/2006
Louis - "How Extravagant you are throwing away women like that. One day they may be scarce."
Ok, the other day I made a promise to make a mix for someone based on my soundtrack from my early years of college. She wants a mix based on my early college years. I have decided to give her an autobiographical soundtrack from my early years. These are the songs that I remember (in no particular order):
Widespread Panic - Airplane, Can't Get High, Til The Medicine Takes (album)
Kid Rock - Cowboy, Batwitababa
Limp Bizkit - Nookie, N 2 Gether Now
Palo Alto - Naked Sorority Girls
Shaggy - It Wasn't Me, Angel
Charlie Mars Band - Broken Arrow
Fatboy Slim
Eminem - My Name Is, Guilty Conscience
The Gourds - Gin & Juice
Better Than Ezra - Desperately Wanting
O.A.R. - Crazy Game of Poker
I know there have to be other songs, but I have scrolled through my old cds and I can't find anything else off the top of my head. I'll look through again, but it is weird looking back through my old mixes. I hope to find a better way to complete my mix than looking through my current crop of old mixes. I hope to find them.
By the way, I forgot it's TCM's 31 days of Oscar. I landed on the channel earlier for the very end of the African Queen. Great film. Now Casablanca is starting. Thank the Lord, because there are only reruns on TV. Great South Park episode though: "Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow." This is the episode where Cartman and Stan cause a flood in a town and everyone in South Park blames everything under the sun except the actual boys who did it even after they confess. Anywho, you need to turn on to TCM.
Speaking of Casablanca, they just showed Rick for the first time and he is drinking champagne from the old style of glass. Not the flute, but I believe the punch glass?
FYI: The title of this post has nothing to do with the post other than the fact it is one of my favorite lines from Casablanca.
Ok, I'm not going to bore you anymore. Have a wonderful evening.
Quote of the Post (from Casablanca):
Yvonne - "Where were you last night?"
Rick - "That was so far back, I don't remember."
Yvonne - "Will I see you tonight?"
Rick - "I never make plans that far ahead."
Songs on the Playlist:
Jimmy Buffett - Bank of Bad Habits
The Cars - Just What I Needed
Jack Johnson - Flake
Eric Clapton - Alberta (unplugged, great song!)
Jerry Jeff Walker - Don't It Make You Wanna Dance
Lynyrd Skynyrd - Double Trouble
ZZ Top - La Grange
Talking Heads - (Nothing But) Flowers
Third Eye Blind - Never Let You Go
David Bowie/Queen - Under Pressure
Third Eye Blind - Jumper
Earth Wind & Fire - Celebrate
Widespread Panic - Climb to Safety
Widespread Panic - Airplane, Can't Get High, Til The Medicine Takes (album)
Kid Rock - Cowboy, Batwitababa
Limp Bizkit - Nookie, N 2 Gether Now
Palo Alto - Naked Sorority Girls
Shaggy - It Wasn't Me, Angel
Charlie Mars Band - Broken Arrow
Fatboy Slim
Eminem - My Name Is, Guilty Conscience
The Gourds - Gin & Juice
Better Than Ezra - Desperately Wanting
O.A.R. - Crazy Game of Poker
I know there have to be other songs, but I have scrolled through my old cds and I can't find anything else off the top of my head. I'll look through again, but it is weird looking back through my old mixes. I hope to find a better way to complete my mix than looking through my current crop of old mixes. I hope to find them.
By the way, I forgot it's TCM's 31 days of Oscar. I landed on the channel earlier for the very end of the African Queen. Great film. Now Casablanca is starting. Thank the Lord, because there are only reruns on TV. Great South Park episode though: "Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow." This is the episode where Cartman and Stan cause a flood in a town and everyone in South Park blames everything under the sun except the actual boys who did it even after they confess. Anywho, you need to turn on to TCM.
Speaking of Casablanca, they just showed Rick for the first time and he is drinking champagne from the old style of glass. Not the flute, but I believe the punch glass?
FYI: The title of this post has nothing to do with the post other than the fact it is one of my favorite lines from Casablanca.
Ok, I'm not going to bore you anymore. Have a wonderful evening.
Quote of the Post (from Casablanca):
Yvonne - "Where were you last night?"
Rick - "That was so far back, I don't remember."
Yvonne - "Will I see you tonight?"
Rick - "I never make plans that far ahead."
Songs on the Playlist:
Jimmy Buffett - Bank of Bad Habits
The Cars - Just What I Needed
Jack Johnson - Flake
Eric Clapton - Alberta (unplugged, great song!)
Jerry Jeff Walker - Don't It Make You Wanna Dance
Lynyrd Skynyrd - Double Trouble
ZZ Top - La Grange
Talking Heads - (Nothing But) Flowers
Third Eye Blind - Never Let You Go
David Bowie/Queen - Under Pressure
Third Eye Blind - Jumper
Earth Wind & Fire - Celebrate
Widespread Panic - Climb to Safety
1/31/2006
Who Else Has Been Drinking?
Ok, so I leave work at 4:35 (5 minutes after work ends) on the end of the month. I go to Clay's house. We have a few drinks. Go to El Porton at Highland & Poplar in the shopping center. All I have to say is, I had a great time. Having a few drinks with my buddies. Eating mexican. Oh I hope I don't have a hangover tomorrow. Oh well, it is almost 12. I'm going to bed after I play a few games of addiction solitaire.
Goodnight all you Mrs. Robinsons in Memphs.
Songs On The Playlist:
Jimmy Buffett - Bank of Bad Habits
The Cars - Just What I Needed
Jack Johnson - Flake
Goodnight all you Mrs. Robinsons in Memphs.
Songs On The Playlist:
Jimmy Buffett - Bank of Bad Habits
The Cars - Just What I Needed
Jack Johnson - Flake
How Big of a Male Whore Am I?
I was screwing around on the net earlier and found a link to the slut-o-meter (http://www.slut-o-meter.com/). So what do I do? I put in my name and here's the result:
Promiscuity: 16.67% (1/6)
Popularity: 1
I have no idea what this means so I click the link for "about" to find out what the hell is going on. So this is what I find:
"How It Works
Slut-o-meter evaluates the promiscuity of the subject you enter by comparing the number of Google search results with and without "safe-search" enabled. A complete slut would return unsafe results and no safe results. Alternatively, a clean name should produce the same number of safe and unsafe results. The "promiscuity" percentage we give you is calculated as follows:
Popularity
Simply put, this is the number of times this slut has been searched for.Negative Promiscuity? Huh?
If you're wondering why some subjects have a negative promiscuity, well, you're not alone. In general, this happens when the number of safe results is greater than the number of unsafe results (or if there are no unsafe results whatsoever). We're not quite sure why this is the case, but we believe that Google is not telling us the truth."
As Eddie Izzard would say: "Qua?" (sorry I don't know French so I just type it like it sounds.)
So I say to myself, "Wait, this won't tell me what kind or how big of a slut I am? Bastards!" So read on and this is what it says:
"The Story
One day in Africa (no kidding), Joël and Adam came up with the idea of using Google to determine how sluttly an individual is. Over a year has passed with no action and the idea was almost forgotten. At SuperHappyDevHouse the idea was resurrected and was quickly brought to life in a matter of hours. The public demonstration of the first Slut-o-Meter showed a person's promiscuity rating with live integration into Firefox using a Greasemonkey script. At that time, the application was a faceless web service with a simple REST interface. Tamiko contributed her design skills and assembled the logo. Since then, Brian has taken over the Slut-o-Meter and turned it into a nifty web service with statistics galore. Enjoy!"
Oh yes! That's what I want to hear. Wait no it isn't. This is nothing more than a means of checking to see how big of an internet 'social' whore you are. Damn. So if I get my name put on the internet a bunch of times, I'll be more of a slut? Wait I'm confused. WHY CAN'T YOU TELL ME IF I'M A SLUT OR NOT? Ok, I think this is a real painful lie that will take me years of therapy to overcome. Ok, find my center. I need my own animal in my mind like in Fight Club. Ok, let's see, where is that damn penguin telling me to slide? Ok, I have a giraffe telling me to leave him alone. Wait you're supposed to be some image that gives me an answer until you later turn into Helena Bonham Carter. I am depressed. I know maybe I can be like some women I know and eat about 5 gallons of ice cream in my pajamas and let my tears sweeten it as they fall into the bowl. Yea!
Seriously though, if you are going to have a slut-o-meter, let's let it really be about promiscuity. You put in your age, number of people you've slept with, etc. I'd think that you would have to look at it a period-of-life way. Example:
In high school, for X number of years I slept with # of girls.
In college, for X number of years I slept with # of girls.
For the first 4 years after college, I slept with # of girls.
And so on and so on. Think about it though. If your ratio from college to post college decreased in the same amount of years, you are becoming less promiscuous:
(assuming you were not a virgin when you got to school or you lost it immediately at school to keep things even) in 4 years of college you were with 15 women, your ratio is 15/4. In 4 years after college you were with 7 women, your ratio is 7/4. I don't have a calculator to tell you the exact %. Sorry. But obviously there would be variables such as "well I dated one woman for two of the four years after college." If you were faithful for that time, then you could say that it was 6/2. Wait it's not a percentage thing. That would just find out how many you were sleeping with on average over that time. Then you'd have to adjust for degrees of sex: oral and beyond or does the handling of equipment count? I'm not really going to worry about I guess. Holy crap, it is 12:35 AM, and I am thinking about the degree of slut you can be. Let's go ahead and put this on the record: you can do whatever you want, but the moment you no longer feel good about your actions when you are by yourself is when you become a slut. Sounds good to me.
Badass! The girl who drove me to high school is in the new Twix commercial! Sarah Morris was the student council president at the all-girls school next day when I was a freshman. She was hot then and is hot now. She plays the daughter of the boss in this commercial. She was also one of the most recent Hummer H3 commercials. She's goldilox in the three bears commercial. She was also in an episode of that Undressed show on MTV. She took her shirt off just before the show completely 180-ed to another plot line (I think you had to be on drugs to keep up with their episodes). Anywho, my young 9th grade crush quickly returned to me in my sophomore year of college. But it was fleeting as I only saw the episode a few times and quickly realized I was at Ole Miss and I WAS AT OLE MISS! There were beautiful women everywhere!
Songs on the Playlist:
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Give It Away
The Rolling Stones - Wild Horses
Pete Townsend - Let My Love Open The Door (E. Cola Mix)
Loverboy - Working for the Weekend
Bruce Springsteen - Born in the USA
Led Zeppelin - I Can't Quit You Baby
Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
Robert Earl Keen - No Kinda Dancer
Promiscuity: 16.67% (1/6)
Popularity: 1
I have no idea what this means so I click the link for "about" to find out what the hell is going on. So this is what I find:
"How It Works
Slut-o-meter evaluates the promiscuity of the subject you enter by comparing the number of Google search results with and without "safe-search" enabled. A complete slut would return unsafe results and no safe results. Alternatively, a clean name should produce the same number of safe and unsafe results. The "promiscuity" percentage we give you is calculated as follows:
Popularity
Simply put, this is the number of times this slut has been searched for.Negative Promiscuity? Huh?
If you're wondering why some subjects have a negative promiscuity, well, you're not alone. In general, this happens when the number of safe results is greater than the number of unsafe results (or if there are no unsafe results whatsoever). We're not quite sure why this is the case, but we believe that Google is not telling us the truth."
As Eddie Izzard would say: "Qua?" (sorry I don't know French so I just type it like it sounds.)
So I say to myself, "Wait, this won't tell me what kind or how big of a slut I am? Bastards!" So read on and this is what it says:
"The Story
One day in Africa (no kidding), Joël and Adam came up with the idea of using Google to determine how sluttly an individual is. Over a year has passed with no action and the idea was almost forgotten. At SuperHappyDevHouse the idea was resurrected and was quickly brought to life in a matter of hours. The public demonstration of the first Slut-o-Meter showed a person's promiscuity rating with live integration into Firefox using a Greasemonkey script. At that time, the application was a faceless web service with a simple REST interface. Tamiko contributed her design skills and assembled the logo. Since then, Brian has taken over the Slut-o-Meter and turned it into a nifty web service with statistics galore. Enjoy!"
Oh yes! That's what I want to hear. Wait no it isn't. This is nothing more than a means of checking to see how big of an internet 'social' whore you are. Damn. So if I get my name put on the internet a bunch of times, I'll be more of a slut? Wait I'm confused. WHY CAN'T YOU TELL ME IF I'M A SLUT OR NOT? Ok, I think this is a real painful lie that will take me years of therapy to overcome. Ok, find my center. I need my own animal in my mind like in Fight Club. Ok, let's see, where is that damn penguin telling me to slide? Ok, I have a giraffe telling me to leave him alone. Wait you're supposed to be some image that gives me an answer until you later turn into Helena Bonham Carter. I am depressed. I know maybe I can be like some women I know and eat about 5 gallons of ice cream in my pajamas and let my tears sweeten it as they fall into the bowl. Yea!
Seriously though, if you are going to have a slut-o-meter, let's let it really be about promiscuity. You put in your age, number of people you've slept with, etc. I'd think that you would have to look at it a period-of-life way. Example:
In high school, for X number of years I slept with # of girls.
In college, for X number of years I slept with # of girls.
For the first 4 years after college, I slept with # of girls.
And so on and so on. Think about it though. If your ratio from college to post college decreased in the same amount of years, you are becoming less promiscuous:
(assuming you were not a virgin when you got to school or you lost it immediately at school to keep things even) in 4 years of college you were with 15 women, your ratio is 15/4. In 4 years after college you were with 7 women, your ratio is 7/4. I don't have a calculator to tell you the exact %. Sorry. But obviously there would be variables such as "well I dated one woman for two of the four years after college." If you were faithful for that time, then you could say that it was 6/2. Wait it's not a percentage thing. That would just find out how many you were sleeping with on average over that time. Then you'd have to adjust for degrees of sex: oral and beyond or does the handling of equipment count? I'm not really going to worry about I guess. Holy crap, it is 12:35 AM, and I am thinking about the degree of slut you can be. Let's go ahead and put this on the record: you can do whatever you want, but the moment you no longer feel good about your actions when you are by yourself is when you become a slut. Sounds good to me.
Badass! The girl who drove me to high school is in the new Twix commercial! Sarah Morris was the student council president at the all-girls school next day when I was a freshman. She was hot then and is hot now. She plays the daughter of the boss in this commercial. She was also one of the most recent Hummer H3 commercials. She's goldilox in the three bears commercial. She was also in an episode of that Undressed show on MTV. She took her shirt off just before the show completely 180-ed to another plot line (I think you had to be on drugs to keep up with their episodes). Anywho, my young 9th grade crush quickly returned to me in my sophomore year of college. But it was fleeting as I only saw the episode a few times and quickly realized I was at Ole Miss and I WAS AT OLE MISS! There were beautiful women everywhere!
Songs on the Playlist:
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Give It Away
The Rolling Stones - Wild Horses
Pete Townsend - Let My Love Open The Door (E. Cola Mix)
Loverboy - Working for the Weekend
Bruce Springsteen - Born in the USA
Led Zeppelin - I Can't Quit You Baby
Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
Robert Earl Keen - No Kinda Dancer
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