Thursday's Birthday Party

So my dear friends Shady Hasbeen and Shady Lady V wanted to throw me a bday party last week. Well I was a little preoccupied with helping close the company and losing my job so I kinda blew it off at the beginning of the week. Wednesday (my actual birthday) rolled around and they kept asking if and when they could do something. Well, I was busy Wednesday and Friday nights. I knew I was going to be recuperating Saturday. So it was either Thursday evening or sometime the next week. I called Shady Hasbeen Wednesday after leaving the office to say we could do it Thursday. I told her I didn't have too many restrictions or requests. Here's what I wanted:

drinks and friends at Newby's

That's pretty simple right? She, Shady Lady V, and HM were going to do all the leg work (i.e. make sure I got there and got home alive). Thursday morning (nothing like procrastination) I sent her a quick email with a list of folks to invite. Of course I forgot folks and slowly realized it throughout the day. I kept sending text messages throughout the day. You want to know what degree of senility I had? I forgot to invite my own damn brother! Yeah I know that was pretty bad. I called him but he was already at the Flying Saucer with a few friends.

Anywho, back to our chronological time line, I got home from work around 5ish. Shady Lady V gives me a call. She and Duchess Lana were driving around trying to find the Drama Queen of the moment. I'm not going into all the details. Let's just say that MY birthday plans were changing dramatically because of SOMEONE ELSE'S drama. Needless to say I was told people were dropping out or we were headed to Gill's. Greeeeaaaaattt.

I was supposed to be picked up within the next few hours. Of course I still wasn't sure about the exact plans. I just decided to be ready for fun and not let anyone else's drama ruin my fun. I threw on a pair of jeans and a polo shirt. Grabbed my drinking boots (which coincidentally are my work boots) and got the camera. I heard a horn honk and I went outside. There sit Shady Lady V and the Shady Hasbeen. Hmm...I was told HM was going to pick me up. But this is a nice surprise. We roll back to Shady Lady V's apartment to get her bday present for me. It is a signed picture from Sarah Jane Morris. I knew her as Sarah Morris when she drove me to high school. She was a senior at Hutchison when I was a freshman at MUS. Now she is a rising actress in Hollywood. I know she's in "Brothers and Sisters." But...I still haven't watched it. I did record the show on the DVR. I'll watch it eventually.

We start heading to the bar when I turn to the backseat to say something to the S.H. I notice balloons in the back of the Trooper. WTF! I just knew this couldn't be good. We parked by CK's coffee shop and I started to walk. I realized they weren't with me and as I looked back, I noticed they were unloaded stuff. When I say stuff, I mean lots of stuff. I just shook my head and decided to see what would happen.

We took a corner bar off to the left. I waltzed over to the bar to see my favorite lady bartender Shawna. Some of you know her as Miss MySpace 2006. After that hug, I headed back to the table. I had my Guinness and watched IN HORROR as evil incarnate blossomed forth from the hands of Shady Lady V and the Shady Hasbeen. Kidding. They put up balloons, cracked open glowing necklaces, and put curly candles on my bday cake. I've never seen curly candles before. I was kinda impressed they found them.

Then the folks started rolling in. I don't remember the order of arrivals, but here's the list of attendees:
Gordo
Shady Lady V
the Shady Hasbeen
Scottie Too Hottie
HM
Miniher (also known as Mendi)
Jana and Andy
SR
Queen Katie B

I went through my pics and i don't think I missed anyone. Speaking of pics, I'll spend the rest of the post with the pics. I'll explain stories that go with them.

Here we have the Shady Lady V and the Shady Hasbeen with the set up. You can see the cake, balloons (see the string at least), and the necklace things. The Shady Hasbeen is also showing a little shoulder.
Scottie Too Hottie and Gordo think I can be the next Derek Zoolander. They made me do this face. I call it "Blue Steel".I was apparently not the only person who was showing things Thursday night. The Shady Hasbeen was showing HM how she is a vampire. I think she may be trying to suck the life out of him here. Unfortunately she doesn't realize that a man has to be married before he can have his life sucked out of him.Here is a great shot of the cake...surrounded by beer and cigarettes.Here's a shot of yours truly blowing out the curly candles. Has anyone else ever seen those?Here is HM and the Shady Hasbeen. And she says she doesn't have any cleavage.We of course had to keep up with our tradition of the hold-me-kiss-me pic. For some reason we couldn't get it down just right. Either one or both of us were laughing the whole time.Or someone was losing control of her lose-rise jeans. Mmm...tasty.We finally got it right. It's kinda fun to keep trying something over and over.Both of my Shady lady friends show us what they like to do on Friday and Saturday nights.The Shady Lady V let me drink my Guinness without using my hands. Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me!Here we have the Shady Lady V, the Shady Hasbeen, and ex-Duchess Jana.Miniher (aka Mendi) insisted on buying me a few rounds of Patron shots. Thanks babe.We also had Katie B there. I think she may be dressed to close. What do you think?Of course there was some sort of creature in the background distracting the cameraman.

Well thanks to everyone who made it. Sorry to those who were accidentally left off the guest list. It won't happen next time. This was just a last minute party.

I'll get to the Friday night post in the near future.

Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

Ole Miss vs UGA gameday

I know I'm posting this over a week later, but it's no big deal. When I last finished the first installment of the story, Jules, Spilly, and I were dealing with hangovers. We took I-55 south to Batesville. On the way down we passed this exit sign.

Spilly went nuts because there was a local band in college who called themselves Coldwater Independence. They mostly did covers and didn't survive more than a year. But damn they were fun to go listen to. He made me promise to post this pic. So here ya go Spilly.

As we started getting close to Oxford, Spilly and Jules went nuts. They hadn't been back in 3 years. Jules apparently became Elaine Bennis from Seinfeld: everytime she saw something new she hit us both on the shoulder and say "Get out! What is that!?!"

I dropped them off at another old friend Marion's house. Marion stayed in Oxford after graduation and has worked around town. She even lives in the old house that she had when I graduated...4 years ago. It even smelled the same. If you knew my friends in college, you would know what that means. I walked in hugged her neck and met her boyfriend. I then excused myself and stood outside the front door. Afterall, I am in the job market and have to take a wiz-test when I get a new job. Don't want to fail because of second hand contact.

I left them there and headed to the family tent. I hung out there and then my hangover officially kicked in. Despite however much tequila or beer I drank, it never went away. I just had to fight it by eating and waiting. Mac had picked out several types of Salvador's premixed margaritas. Here's a pic of him and Dad with two kinds. They didn't realize it initially when they poured the drinks but they had Ole Miss themed drinks. They had me take this pic.

Throughout the day, a long line of old friends came to the tent. Evil Howard came by on his own. We talked a while. He's up in Maryland working as a manager for some company that goes around testing the air for harmful chemical (i.e. anthrax). I actually started to tell a story of Evil Howard here, but I'll save that for another time.

Spilly and Jules walked up eventually with Marion and two other friends from college: Mark from St Louis and Kyle. Mark updated me on the latest funny story about Mikey (see July trip to New Jersey wedding). Of course I won't recap that here. I wasn't involved.

After a while they wanted to see more folks so we all went to the Grove. We passed a tent with two other fraternity brothers in it: Stotts and Rusty. We talked to them for a few minutes before continuing on. We wandered around and ran into a few other folks. I got a phone call from Dad who said there was someone at the tent to see me. It was my old roommate from college Lt. Troy and his lovely wife Lauren. Theirs was the first wedding I was ever in. I hugged them both and as I sat down to talk to them, Lauren says "we're pregnant!" Literally, my butt wasn't even in the chair when she said it. As the words entered my ear three things happened:
1. I fell the rest of the way into my seat
2. I thought and said "How great for yall. That's awesome!"
3. I thought and said "Oh my God, Troy's going to be a father!!!"
That last one got a laugh from all of us. We sat and talked for a while. Then I got a call from my current roommate, Symon. He was trying to find us. I gave him directions and he eventually made it over. He met my family and ate...a lot. He's originally from Dallas, so he loved the Mexifest themed food. He loved Mom's King Ranch Chicken. He went nuts over it. Then he had some of Yankee's Tea (backstory: we have a friend from Illinois who is still in school in Oxford. He makes a special tea with Maker's Mark). He told me to pour out his beer and fix him a whole tea.

After a while Symon went back to the Grove, and Troy and Lauren went to their tent. I stayed at our tent for a few to grab a bite to eat. After a few more cups of Yankee's Tea, I decided to go find where Symon's tent was and also stop by a few others. The problem was the team was about to walk through the Walk of Champions. So most folks were along the walk and no one could get cell coverage. I stayed to watch the walk and then decided to head back to the tent. Here are two pics from the walk. The first is Coach O (Head Coach Ed Orgeron). The second is All-American Linebacker Patrick Willis.

After I got back I took a few pics from my chair. At that point I had fought off my hangover and was a happy man. Here is a shot of the tent. Yankee is the young man on the left. And yes, those are my feet.Here I am with my brother and sister. Yes, I am wearing my "Pi Phi Loves Our Rebs!" sticker.

Here are a pic from the game. I took videos of some things. I wish I could figure out how to upload them on here. I put them on photobucket. Anyone know how to upload videos into a blog post? Anywho, this is before kickoff.

Here are a few pics Jules took:
Jules with Marion both very hungover.

Jules and Spilly drunk on the Square in Oxford.Spilly and Kyle...drunk on the Square.Skooch, Jules, and Spilly outside Betty Davis Grocery on the way back to Memphis Sunday morning. The Betty Davis Grocery is an Ole Miss landmark. It is the one of the two closest places to get cold beer. It is located just past the Tallahatchie River between Oxford and Holly Springs. They also serve BBQ there. I never had it though.
That's all I've got from that weekend. I'll try to get to my recap of my bday party and the Cowboy Mouth show Friday night later.

Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

Songs on the Playlist:
The Grateful Dead - Bertha
The Grateful Dead - Me and My Uncle
The Grateful Dead - Next Time You See Me
The Grateful Dead - China Cat Sunflower
The Grateful Dead - I Know You Rider
The Grateful Dead - Jack Straw
The Grateful Dead - Big Railroad Blues
The Grateful Dead - Playing in the Band
The Grateful Dead - Turn On Your Lovelight

Birthday Plans

Last night: celebrated with the fam-damily. Great time had by all.
Tonight: Shady Hasbeen and Shady Lady V are taking me to Newbys. They are supposed to be rounding up folks to stop by too. Anyone is welcome to stop by. I'm supposedly going to be there around 8:30ish
Tomorrow: Cowboy Mouth/Hootie/Soul Asylum show. HM won tickets and dinner with Cowboy Mouth. He's taking me with him and a few other folks for my bday present.
Saturday: Probably sit on the couch and watch football. After this week, I don't feel like going out or heading to Oxford. Sorry.

HNT Half Nekkid Thursday

Ok, if you are looking for the story from Friday night, check it out on the next post. There are details to go with this pic.
Happy HNT yall

Spilly & Jules & Lotsa Jagerbombs

Wow, this was a rough weekend. It became official that I was losing my job on Friday morning (actually everyone lost their job because the company is closing). So I spent the rest of the day closing things down and what not. Around 2PM I headed to the Memphis International Airport near beautiful, crime free Airways Blvd. I picked up Spilly and dropped him off at my house. Spilly is an old fraternity brother from San Antonio, TX. Obviously it’s not hard to figure out how he got his nickname.
By the way, I would hate to forget this: on the way back to my house we saw a crack whore on Prescott and a pimp on Highland. Spilly couldn’t believe that he’d been back in Memphis less than 30 minutes and had already seen both. I told him that it was a little weird to see both, but it was still pretty funny.
I had to head back to the office to finish a few things so I showed him how to work the TV and where the beer fridge was. After work was over, I raced home. We both changed for dinner and headed to the Butcher Shop to meet Jules and two of her friends. Jules was also at Ole Miss with us. She and Spilly were the best of friends back in college but haven’t seen each other since graduation. He went back to Texas, and she went back to Florida. Jules brought her friend Skooch and his girlfriend. Skooch used to work at Rebel Radio with her. We had a nice dinner. My steak was a little too bloody, but still pretty damn good. They say Medium Rare when I would say Rare.
After dinner Skooch and his girlfriend had to jet home. Jules road with us back to my house. We called a cab and picked up HM. Check out this pic of the cab:
Yeah he has plastic hubcaps that look like rims. They are a lot shinier in real life than they turned out in the pic. Only in Memphis right? Well, maybe Atlanta too.
The four of us headed to Pat O’Briens on Beale St. As soon as we got there things went downhill: we had a round of Jagerbombs. For those of you who are uninitiated into…well the world we live in, a Jagerbomb is a combination of Jagermeister and Red Bull. It is supposed to be done as a glass of Red Bull with a shot of Jagermeister dropped in it. Some places are too cheap and just pour a shot of Jagermeister into a cup of Red Bull. What happens when you take one of these? Well that’s an easy answer: it leads to you taking another…and another…and another…and so on.
After a round of Jagerbombs, we headed out to the patio bar. We grabbed a table near the bar. We took the opportunity to take a few pics.
Here I am with Spilly.Here's Spilly and Jules.Here's where they are acting more like themselves.We met some Georgia fans who were waiting for drinks next to us. They told us they’d never been to Ole Miss before and we told them they could come back anytime. So they bought us a round of Jagerbombs. Jules was so proud of her retro-80s belt that she had to show them. One of the guys took her over to show the guys at their table, which turned out to be right next to ours.

Spilly got a call from Boeckman, another fraternity brother. He, Nolan, and Megan were on their way to meet us up there. Here’s a pic with Boeckman, Spilly, and me:

After a while we were all tired of the scene at Pat O’s. We decided to start heading east. We were walking to get a cab when Nolan said we could all fit in his Colorado. So we made the hike from Beale to Peabody Place parking garage. We didn’t take the stairs by the Flying Saucer; we took walked up the vehicle entrance and went to the stairs. We were having a regular discussion on the way up. Maybe our voices were a little magnified by the mixture of concrete around us and alcohol inside us, but all of a sudden this glorified rent-a-cop walks out of the office in the corner opposite the stairs entrance. She points at Jules and says “Ma’am, you are going to have to be quiet in here. You are way too loud.” I thought ‘lady, you have no idea what you just did.’
Jules turns to her and says “excuse me? Are you really trying to be a bitch? Because you are succeeding…” or something like that. I don’t remember all that was said because I was laughing so damn hard. I do know that Jules told her she needed to try to arrest her. The rent-a-cop just stood their stunned as we walked to the stairwell. No one really knew exactly what the hell we did wrong. I still don’t.
We quickly walked up the stairs and jumped in Nolan’s Chevy Colorado. If you’ve never been in one, it’s quite comfortable and roomy. Well, it is until you put seven drunks in there. We took off and all Jules would say over and over was she wanted to go dancing. Now this was between 11 and 12. Nolan takes off for Raiford’s. I immediately started explaining that it was too early for Raiford’s by about two hours. We pulled up and there were no cars outside. None. Zero. Zip. I convinced Jules that we could go to the Blue Monkey. They always have a great band on the weekends, and you can usually dance there. Boy, was I wrong. There were maybe 30 people in there. Of that 30, 10 were working there and 7 were our group. Yeah, dead does not describe it. So we had a few rounds of Jagerbombs and I had a few pints of Guinness. Then the camera came back out.

After a few minutes, Jules realized that there wasn’t a band and she couldn’t dance to the music. So we left and went to Newby’s. As we walked in the Friday night band stopped for a set break. So we kept drinking and partying. It’s at this point in the evening that things begin to get hazy. I did get a few pics at Newby’s though.
Here's Jules showing Spilly a little affection.Here's Jules showing me my early birthday presents.The last thing I remember was calling for a ride home about 2:30. Spilly, Nolan, and Boeckman had headed to Platinum. Jules and HM were hanging out with some other folks we knew. I remember being picked up by my ride outside Newby’s and that’s it. But I definitely remember the next morning. I woke up drunk around 8:30. I stumbled out of my room to find Spilly passed out on the couch. It turns out that he had been driven to my house by Nolan after their escapades at Platinum. Spilly had no idea how to even find my house or what area of town I lived in. But he did know how to get there from Newby’s somehow. Apparently I had left the front door unlocked for him.
About the time we were trying to remember anything from the night before, the roommate came out of his room. I introduced them and they started talking about both Texas and golf. The roommate’s friend stumbled out of the guest bedroom and dropped this bomb on us:
dude – “Symon, I thought you didn’t have any pets?”
Symon – “I don’t.”
dude – “Well a cat shit in my mouth last night.”
That was not the best line of the morning. I heard many more. I’m going to give them to you out of context to protect the identities of those involved (in a few cases):

Guy to girl: “Where did you come from?”

Girl to guy: “You are a lucky guy. Do you know that? You were sex by convenience.”

Guy to girl and guy: “Is this your gum?”

Me: “Best detox is retox! Where’s the beer? Who’s drinking?” In my own defense, I woke up a little drunk and was starting to slide into a wicked hangover. A beer helps. Just one. And only if you can still drink it.

Girl to Spilly as she shakes her chest in his face: “Hey Spilly, what does this remind you of? Last night?”

Spilly: “Let me hop on the net to check my bank account. Oh my God! I spent $400 last night! At one place!”

Jules: “Hey Spilly, what does the number 400 mean to you?”

The roommate and his buddy fell in love with Jules after she started making fun of Spilly. In the mean time, Spilly took a shower and got dressed for the Ole Miss v. Georgia game that evening in Oxford. After he was done, I got a quick shower and dressed. We loaded up my truck and started to the trip south.

I’ll end that portion of the story with a quick tale about the way down. Between the three of us we had various ways to deal with our impending hangovers.
I decided to drink a little Gatorade on the drive down. I had to drive so I needed to rehydrate myself. I had already had a beer to make myself feel better first thing in the morning so I needed the Gatorade now.
Jules took a nap in the back seat. Spilly was kind enough to take a pic of that. He also asked if I had an annoying song on the ipod that we could blast to make her feel worse. I said I had the worst song possible: Herman’s Hermits “Henry the VIIIth.” We got in the truck after getting gas and beer. Spilly cranked up the volume while I played the song. Jules wasn’t happy. Here’s a pic of her trying to nap in the backseat.
Spilly had the best immediate cure: he drank a six pack on the way to Oxford. He wasn’t even halfway into his second beer when he lived up to his nickname. I took this pic for those of you who knew him in college.
That’s all for now. I’ll talk about the gameday stuff later.
Have a good one and don’t get none on ya.

Songs on the Playlist:
Jimmy Buffett – Boat Drinks
Hall & Oates – Maneater
The Allman Brothers Band – Ramblin’ Man
Velvet Revolver – Illegal I Song
The Pretenders – Stop Your Sobbing
Jimmy Buffett – The Night I Painted the Sky
Mott the Hoople – All The Young Dudes
T Rex – Bang A Gong
Janis Joplin – Me and Bobby McGee
The Allman Brothers Band – Revival
Stevie Ray Vaughn – Cold Shot
The Who – Heaven and Hell (live)
Jimmy Buffett – Lady I Can’t Explain
Archie Bell & The Drells – Tighten Up
Foreigner – I Want To Know What Love Is
Dwight Yoakam – Fast As You

Great Ole Miss Game

That was one hell of a game last night. It was close. We lost in the last few minutes when Schaeffer threw an interception, but damn it was a great game. I'll write the whole recap for the weekend later when I get home.

By the way I'm looking for a new career opportunity if anyone knows of a cool job in the Memphis area. Email me at memphisphilip@hotmail.com

Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

Birthday HNT

Next Wednesday is my friggin 27th birthday. But I plan on celebrating it (mainly) this weekend at the Ole Miss loss to Georgia. Yeah, I'm a Rebel fan, but I'm a realistic Rebel fan. This game is going to be such a blowout they didn't even put it on my football pool this week.

So what are we doing to celebrate? Well the theme is Mexifest. And how awesome is that going to be? I'm definitely going to need some partying in my system. I've been a little serious and concentrated lately. A regular working stiff.

So what is the best way to celebrate my birthday? That's today's HNT. It was taken last year at a game. There may be a French term to describe it, but I'm not sure.

Needless to say I was one happy camper.

Well, Hotty Toddy ladies and gentlemen! In case I don't post anything tomorrow, have a great weekend and don't get none on ya.

If you're playing HNT, let Obasso know. And tell your bookie you want to take Georgia and the points!!!

Letter to Terri

There was an email that I received several months ago. I had actually forgotten about it until I was deleting old earlier. I have to share this with you. Enjoy:

Sometimes it becomes difficult to just "let go" of old relationships. As an example, read on about the following guy, who writes to his ex-wife of more than fifteen years. It will bring tears to your eyes. Really.

Dear Terri:

I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I didn't want to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride has cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore.

I don't care who makes the first move, as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says..."There's no one like you, Terri."

I look for you in the eyes of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at the Rainbow Room and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation.

She was young, Terri, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Breasts you wouldn't believe and a back porch like a tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right?

But as I sat on the couch looking at the top of her head, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, even if it does, you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Terri? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought like that before. I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little.

Later, after she'd left, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her shameless hunger, but something else. Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete?And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there, Terri, to watch. Do you know that I mean? Nothing feels the same without you, baby.

Jesus, Terri, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you. Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at church? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story. Anyway, we have a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're in our old bedroom. And she was giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she's not hung up about God and her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden she spotted that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she put it on the floor and we straddled it, you know, so we could watch ourselves. And it was totally hot, but it made me sad, too. Because I couldn't help thinking, "Why didn't Terri ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for about 14 years, and we never used it as a sex aid."

You know what I mean? What happened to our spontaneity? You get so caught up in the routine of a marriage and you just lose sight of each other. And then you lose yourself. That's the saddest part of all for me.

But I keep thinking we can get it back. I know we can, because I only want to do this stuff with you. Saturday, your sister dropped by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Shannon's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders. She's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in general. (She's pulling for us to get back together, Terri. She really is.)

So we were drinking in the hot tub and talking about happier times. Here was this attractive girl with the same DNA as you (although, let's be honest, she got an extra helping of the "sexy" gene), and all I could think of how much she looks like you did when you were 27. And that just about made me cry. And then it turned out Shannon's really into the whole anal thing, and that started me thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm discovering this whole new side of your sister, all I can do is think of you? It's true, baby. In your heart you know it.

Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances and start fresh? I think we can. I keep thinking that if you'd just try it, I wouldn't have to pressure you so much. Because who needs all that bitterness, Terri? It just tears us apart. And I can't be apart from you.

Because I love you.

I'm Back

So I know it’s been a while. Sorry. I’ve been busy and/or out of town. Plus I always try not to blog too much when I’m pissed off. Now what could be pissing me off? Hmm…oh yeah, Ole Miss football sucks. But I’ve stuck through worse. One of the constant problems I have to deal with is people who pull for other schools going through similar problems talking trash. What do I mean? Well some people who read my blog don’t like me rooting for my team on here. They whine and complain and mock. Look go root for your own team in your own arena.
The actual problem here is that over time I will begin to resent their jealousy of my faithful devotion to my university and its athletic endeavors. I don’t want to take it out on other fans of their teams. That would be unfair. But I do find that I am becoming more of an ass to people when I find out they root for Team A when Team A happens to be one of the teams that these jealous people root for. So I’m actually going to use the FU Friday that I missed last week today.

FU to all the folks who don’t like my faithful elegance to my team. If you don’t like it, stop reading. Go somewhere else. Losers.

By the way, does anyone know who this chick is? She is hot. Is it Heidi Klum?

Ok, next topic. (yes this is going to be a long post because I haven’t done one in a while)
Man we suck in football. We still beat Memphis, but we lost to Kentucky and Wake Forest. I can’t believe that. World around the campfire is that we are still in our rebuilding stages from the lackluster recruiting years of David Cutcliffe’s final stint as head coach at Ole Miss. Basically we have no depth and we are injured from one end of the team to the other. The reasons keep piling on. The long and short of it is we’re not going to do well this year. Worse than I had thought at the beginning of the season, but we should still get experience for all of our young guys. A few more years of good recruiting to add depth to our team will really help. I’m not going to waiver in my faithful devotion to Ole Miss. I’ll “keep drinking the kool aid.”

Next topic, the game this past weekend. I went to tailgate and never stepped foot in the stadium. The bottom dropped out before kickoff. Luckily we packed up everything before the heavy stuff came down. The brother, Two-odd, Yankee, and Yankee’s crazy girl stayed. As the folks drove off the heavy stuff fell. We took shelter under a porch at the old observatory. You could hear the announcer on the PA through the rain and thunder: “Leave the stadium! Seek shelter! You can come back later with your ticket stub. Do not go to the Grove!” They were serious. There were lightning strikes all over. We stayed there about 20 minutes. The rain kept getting worse. I finally said “forget this, let’s go back to Memphis.” And you know what, it wasn’t that bad of a drive. But the rain kept falling in Oxford. We finally got back to our parents’ house. I unloaded my truck. We unloaded their stuff. Hung up the tents that got wet. Did a few more things. I left. I was halfway home when the game finally started. I am really glad I didn’t stay. I would have kept drinking in the rain. Then gone to a game in the rain. I would have probably gotten sick and been very drunk. But would I have had more fun than going home and watching Notre Dame/Mich St and Kentucky/Florida? Probably, but I did get more sleep this way. And I felt great Sunday. Want to know how much it was raining. This is a couple of students walking back in the rain to Fraternity Row from the Grove. He was being a gentleman and letting her use the umbrella. But to be honest, in that much rain, it doesn't help. And you can tell he's young, he's not covering his drink well enough to keep the rain out. If he was smart, he'd hold it behind her back so she can block the rain.

Oh yeah! Thanks to Scotty Too Hotty for stopping by. He made the long trek to the tent to say hey.

Next topic: this coming weekend is the Georgia at Ole Miss game. I'll just say it. Georgia is going to kill us after almost losing to Colorado this weekend. They are going to be mad. I say take Georgia and the points if you're a betting man. In the meantime, our theme is Mexifest and birthday hilarity. Who's birthday? I don't know...or I won't say...or whatever. Anywho, Mexifest before an 8PM game. That's a lot of margaritas, beer, and mexican food. This doesn't sound like a good mixture. Actually...it sounds like a great one. If any of my friends would like to come by the tent, you should already have the directions that I emailed you. It would be nice if some folks who plan on staying a while bring booze and/or food (hint hint). Actually it would be nicer if you bring several attractive young ladies with you. Think of it as a birthday present to me. But I know I'll have a huge group of old college friends stop by. Spilly and Jules are flying in Friday afternoon. We are going out Friday night in Memphis before heading down Saturday. We are crashing somewhere in Oxford Saturday night. Evil Howard is supposed to be in town too. I think JKY is here. Don't know about Kevy though. Watkins may make another surprise visit.

Next to last topic: you crazy bitches, what the hell is wrong with you? I took this pic on the way to work one day last week.

I watched as the woman who owned the car stood next to it while the smoke started coming out. She was talking on her cell phone to one of her girlfriends. Then the smoke got worse. She stayed on the phone looking at the smoke and yapping to her girlfriends about God knows what. Then the flames started as I drove past. She stood there on the phone pointing at it. I really wanted to shout “get a f*cking fire extinguisher, you moron!” But I didn’t. I figured she needed all her concentration for the conversation. This took place in the course of one red light at East Parkway and Central.

If you look close enough you can see the flames under the car. By this point she had somehow gotten out of the view. I don't know where she went, but she's not there in the pic.

Last Topic. I promise. No seriously, I promise this is it. This Thursday the Memphis Ducks Unlimited Committee is hosting our annual membership dinner. If anyone is interested in tickets we have a few left. Email me at memphisphilip@hotmail.com. I’ll get you the information. We are going to have some really great items up for the auctions.

I feel like I'm forgetting something. If I did, I'll never know.

Have a good one and don’t get none on ya.

Songs on the Playlist:
Led Zeppelin – Good Times Bad Times
Little Feat – Fat Man In The Bathtub
REM – Everybody Hurts
Jimmy Buffett – Someday I Want
Jerry Jeff Walker – What I Like About Texas
Steely Dan – Do It Again
David Bowie – Ziggy Stardust
The Black Crowes – She Talks To Angels

No HNT

Sorry folks. No HNT this week. I'm having one of those days. Enjoy the previous story.

Don't get none on ya

Walrus at the Monkey / Find The Coke Whore! Game

Friday night I did nothing. I worked late, swam laps and lounged around the house. And it was a blast.

Now, on to Saturday evening. If your Saturday involved a lot of heavy drinking, raise your hand.
Good. Saturday evening I went with the Shady Hasbeen, Shady Lady V, and HM to see Walrus play at the Blue Monkey. It was a great show. I really like the addition of the keyboard. I wish they could put it in with all the songs. Anywho, we met up at Shady Lady V’s place before hand, and she fixed dinner for us. And then she was the DD. I really think someone was trying to get brownie points. I’m not going to recap the whole evening. I’ll tell you that we did run into a ton of folks there: Goose, the Friggin D, DC & GC, King Trip (sans his lovely wife), JD, Capt Dave, and a few other folks. All of a sudden I can’t remember who all was there. Here are a few pics:

Somebody decided to show us a trick. We eventually got a straw so people who were starving of thirst could have drink. Aren't helpful people the best?The Shady Hasbeen told me that if certain things weren't done, she'd never talk to me again. So I obliged her kind request.We have a couple of shady ladies being stalked by some crazy guy. No one is sure who he is, but we do know that he stalked Ptolemy's Queen Laura all year long. And for some reason, she put up with it. Hm...
We also started a new game. Now let me preface this by saying this is not a reflection on the Blue Monkey. This is a reflection on the sudden influx of new people at the better watering holes around town. The game is called “Find the Coke Whore!” It’s really easy to play. You need to be in a bar (say the Blue Monkey) on a Friday or Saturday night around 1 or 2 in the morning. Closer to 1AM is the best time to start it. You basically look around the bar and point out the first Coke Whore (urban dictionary definition link) you see. You know the Coke Whore is the girl (or guy sometimes) who shows up at the bar when everyone is starting to really wind down (or really get crazy). They float from one group of strangers to the next looking for anyone who wants to “party.” They are usually dressed very sexy/scantily-clad/slutty/whatever-you-want-to-call-it. Here are a few pics of examples:
Ok to be honest, this last pic came from some art contest thing I found on google. I think it may be staged, but she looks like a damn coke whore. And there's a little coke there. So here's the link to the page (note there may be nude pics on there; I'm not sure). Now I'm not saying the women in these pictures are coke whores, but they show characteristics of them (in the pics).

We had so much fun playing our game that we actually had other people come over to see what we were laughing about. They ended up playing too. Unfortunately I couldn’t take a pic of the winning Coke Whore because she would never get away from her shady friend. He kept eyeing us, and we really didn’t want to fight a coke head. But I did get a pic of this guy instead. He’s not a coke head. He just has a really badass shirt. I'm not sure who he was a fan of, but I'm sure of who he doesn't like. Isn't football season great?

This Football Season Sucks For Everybody

So after a long weekend of football, one must look back and say “What the hell!?!” Yeah, my beloved Ole Miss Rebels lost to the Kentucky Wildcats. Bad. Turnovers and penalties killed us. Everytime we started to get a little momentum, we’d F it up somehow. Oh well, misery loves company, so I’m very happy to remind you that Memphis lost to East Carolina, Tennessee lost to Florida, and Mississippi State lost to Tulane. Wait. Does Tulane even have a football team? I thought their university president was trying to get rid of football there? Damn.
Well to be a good sport I give you a few football jokes:

A high school senior goes to his school guidance counselor and says “I’d like to go to a religious sponsored school.”
The counselor says “well, are you Catholic?”
The boy says “No, I’m not.”
The counselor says “then you can’t go to Notre Dame. Are you Methodist?”
“No,” the boy replies.
“Well then you can’t go to SMU. Are you Baptist?” the counselor asks.
“No, I’m not,” the boy replies.
“Well you can’t go to Baylor either,” the counselor says.
The boy says “well, I’ll be a no good son of a bitch.”
The counselor says “I think I can get you into LSU.”


A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Mississippi State jersey and helmet, and has a small cowbell hanging under his neck.

The bartender says, "Hey! No pets are allowed! You'll have to leave."

The guy begs him, "Look, I'm desperate! We're both big fans, the TV's broken at home, and this is the only place around where we can see the game."

After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him thathe and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.

The big game begins with MSU receiving the kickoff. They march down field, get stopped at the 30, and kick a field goal.

Suddenly, the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone.

The bartender says, "Wow, that's the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if they score a touchdown?"

The owner replies, "I don't know, I've only had him for three years."

FU Friday & Weekend Plans

First here’s what’s on the schedule for the weekend:
Friday Night: I have no idea what’s going on.
Cooper Young festival in Midtown. I’m not going. I’d rather watch college football. Sorry. I’m trying not to spend money.
Walrus at the Blue Monkey Saturday night. I’ll be there. I know the Shady Lady V, the Shady Hasbeen, and HM will be there also. And of course there’ll be a ton of other folks. It’s going to be a blast.
Ole Miss plays at Kentucky. I hate to say it, but everything I have seen on this game says Kentucky is favored to win. Whoa, it is a low day in Rebel land. But the bright side of it all is that no matter what, we’ve still beaten the Memphis Tiggers two years in a row. And we'll probably do it again next year too.

Happy FU Friday. I’m not really taking the time to do a fancy one here. So here’s the primary Fuck You to the University of Kentucky Wildcat football team.

ARE YOU READY?
HELL YES!
DAMN RIGHT!
HOTTY TODDY,
GOSH A’MIGHTY,
WHO THE HELL ARE WE? HEY!
FLIM FLAM
BIM BAM
OLE MISS BY DAMN!!!

My second FU is to the folks who don’t like reading that on the blog. If you don’t like it, quit reading. I’m sorry it offends you. But just know that you are still special because you read at a Tiger High level. Just get over yourself and shut up.

I hope everyone has a great weekend. Be safe as there are supposed to be roadblocks up around town.

Songs on the Playlist:
Robert Randolph and the Family Band – Squeeze
Jack Johnson – The News
Def Leppard – Rock Brigade
Derek and the Dominoes – Anyday
Jimmy Buffett – Nautical Wheelers

HNT - time and work effects

Today's HNT was taken last week. The first pic was from the beginning of the workout.

I then swam 25 laps, sat in a sauna for 15 minutes, sat in the hot tub whirlpool for 20 minutes, swam another 8 laps, sat in the sauna for another 10 minutes, and then got in the hot tub for another 15 minutes. The second pic is from afterwards. It's weird how red my skin is from that. Btw it's a great way to lose weight.

Happy HNT yall

Rockstar Supernova Finale

Well it's finally over. I didn't take notes. I mostly fast forwarded through the show. The bottom two were Magni and Toby. Magni was let go. Then the final three (Dilana, Lukas, and Toby) each made their case to the band. They each sang a final song. Then Supernova cut Toby. They are retarded.
Obviously the final two became Lukas and Dilana. Here's the play by play:
The Lemur King versus the Marlboro Man. It is going to be as great as Ali v Frazier. Well, maybe not. First the Marlboro Man takes a swing at the Lemur King's midsection. But that one punch leaves her winded. The Lemur King gargles his words as the Marlboro Man falls.
That's right. They picked Lukas the Lemur King over Dilana the Marlboro Man. Oh well. Dilana's consillation prize: she gets to front the House Band on the Supernova tour. Also Gilby offered to help her write songs for her first album as well as produce it. Dave Navarro told her he would play guitar on it for her. I think that beats winning.
So congrats to Lukas on winning.

One final thought: did anyone else think that Dave Navarro looked like Dracula tonight? I really thought he did with the popped out collar.

Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

Rockstar Supernova Final Competition Show

Ok, let me preface this by saying "yes, I have been drinking...a lot. And it ain't pretty." But I have been diligent to you, my dear reader. Instead of going to bed as my body asked, I stayed up and watch tonight's Rockstar:Tommy Lee's Unit episode.

The show started with the fan favorite of the eliminated rockers. Apparently the fans are retarded. They picked Ryan Star to return and sing his original "Back of Your Car" or whatever dumbass title he gave it. It wasn't that great the first time and it still ain't, babe. Why didn't they bring Storm back for "Lady Like?" That was a balls-to-the-wall rocking song. Much like the general elections in the Memphis area, the voters were fucking retarded. Yeah I said it.

After that it was time to...hear more about how these are the final four and they've made it and they are special and blah blah blah. JUST GET TO THE SONGS!!! Mark Burnett needs to be hit upside the head with a metal baseball bat so he'll quit doing that crap. We know where they've been. We know what they've done. And I swear that a 3 second look at a song from week 2 isn't going to give us some great epiphany. Someone please castrate the producers. I don't want their stupidity spread to the next generation.

First rocker to sing two songs (cover and original) was Toby Rand. In case you've been keeping your head where the sun don't shine, he's our Aussie badass. And yes, that is a technical term. He started out covering Radiohead's "Karma Police." I don't know the song and I won't go buy an album because of it. But he did a good job. Then came everyone's favorite: Toby's original song "Throw It Away." This time he stayed on the stage and let the song do the walking. (did you catch that metaphor?) And you know what? The song kicked ass as usual. I give this performance a 9.5 out of 10.

The next rocker was everyone's favorite marble gargling Canuck, Lukas Rossi. He started with Coldplay's "Fix You" before jumping back into his original song "Headspin." I have to say that during both performances he had a great presence on the stage. He actually kept my attention despite the marble garling lyrics. Paula Abdul was in the audience for his performance (apparently). You know Paula. She's the dried up ****** from American Idol. Yeah I don't watch the show because...well...it sucks donkey balls. But she was here to support REAL FUCKING SINGERS WITH REAL TALENT...and Lukas too. Personally that was STRIKE THREE for Lukas just because I can't stand American Idol.
Ok, here's another thought I had about Lukas in my attempt to justify why he shouldn't win: He's too Mod for this group. He has a great personality and a great stage character if he finds the right back up band. I can see him on MTV for a while. Of course that translates to "Philip won't pay attention to that no-talent-ass-clown" segment of entertainment. I don't wish that on him. He has a great talent. If he'll just stop gargling marbles while he sings, I will support him. Until that time, he can lick...well nevermind.
Btw he did an acoustic version of "Headspin." That kept my attention and he actually sang it. Way to go Lukas.

The third rocker to perform was the original frontrunner of the show: Dilana Robichaux. Yeah, if you read the spoiler from earlier, you would know that I found her real name. (yeah it's not the end of the world or anything information, but I didn't know). Anywho, Dilana did her remix of "Roxanne" by The Police. She had her competitors singing the backup of the chorus. You know what, THAT FUCKING ROCKED!!! That performance was back to the early days of the season when she was untouchable. I think it put her back in the top two. Then she sang her original "Supersoul" again. It was good.
I have to say that in my opinion SHE'S BACK BABY!

Magni was the final rocker to perform. And he fell flat. It's not that he wasn't any good. He just didn't take his performance to another level. He has already peaked. He sang "Hush" by Deep Purple. Then he sang his personal song: "When the Time Comes." It's a good song, BUT he won't win.

After the performances, they showed the order:
1. Dilana
2. Toby
3. Lukas
4. Magni

I really hope Toby wins it all.

Rockstar Supernova Spoiler - Final Show BIG SPOILER

BIG, POTENTIAL SPOILER ALERT. STOP READING NOW. I’M NOT KIDDING.

Ok, I have found a few things that I didn’t know. Maybe I was the only one. First of all, Dilana’s last name is not “Smith” as I have been saying all season. I hoped on wikipedia and found her name is Dilana Robichaux. Here is the wikipedia site for her. I found her myspace page through it and this is her profile pic:
Hmm…that’s her with Supernova, right? Could it be she’s already won? I don’t know. I’m not stating that. I’m just saying it’s pretty interesting about that pic. Dum dum dum!

And now onto the discussion: I caught the webisode. It starts with the post-elimination meal. Everyone is discussing how they miss Storm whether by her performances or living with her. Then they start discussing how none of them can believe they made it to the bottom three. Blah blah blah. Magni decides to deal with it by playing a little solo song on the piano. Then Dilana puts a pie/cake in his face while he’s playing and hops away. Everyone laughs and what-not.

The next scene is from a day or so later. The rockers are sitting outside chatting. They show a familiar face walk up. It’s Mig from Rockstar:INXS. He’s there to deliver Toby’s car. He also delivers a bit of wisdom: “One of you will make it and be the winner. Three of you won’t. The reality (for the other three) is there will be no new recording deals automatically waiting for you. You still have to work for it.” But then he goes on to say how it’s easier after being in this though. They cut to Lukas in an interview who basically says “you know after he said the ‘three of you won’t’ I quit paying attention.” What an arrogant prick!
While everyone was looking at the car, Toby kept saying “I can’t believe I won a car, mate.” Then he dropped a real funny line: “Dilana, you can stand in there” referring to the back of the car and her height. I thought it was kinda funny.

Next it was song selection time. The Final Four walked in to find a framed picture of each of them performing on the wall amongst Supernova’s stuff. It was pretty cool actually. They were blown away. Toby said that each picture really captured their characteristics as performers:
He “was surrounded by the people.”
Magni was “intense.”
Lukas was a “showman.”
Dilana was a “scary, mysterious chick.”
Yeah that was pretty good description of the pics.
They walked over to the songs and found a stack of about 150 songs. There was a letter explaining that they will sing their original again as well as one song from the pile. The pile consisted of every song that was played in the show this season including the elimination songs as well as some songs that weren’t played. Lukas and Dilana both found a song they wanted: Pink Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb.” Lukas loves that song, and Dilana liked the way it looked so they had Magni sing it on acoustic guitar. He sounded damn good.
Let’s pause for a side rant: Does Dilana know any songs? Seriously! She doesn’t know Pink Floyd or The Who. What is up with her? And now back to our regularly scheduled spoiler:
Lukas and Dilana went back and forth. Lukas said he grew up on that song. Dilana didn’t know it but wanted it. Lukas eventually gave up and gave her the song. Dilana thought about it and then decided to do The Police’s “Roxanne.” She gave Lukas “Comfortably Numb” but he chose “Fix You” by Coldplay. So no one’s going to do it? Damn.

At rehearsal they mostly showed Dilana trying to rearrange “Roxanne.” This is after they showed a discussion among the rockers about how Chris Pierson (second person eliminated this season) really screwed up when he rearranged it. The next night he was eliminated. Ouch.
The guys in the House Band were basically cringing while Dilana was playing her version of the song. I mean they were literally cringing on camera while she played it and sang. In a solo interview, the keyboardist (we’ll call him “dude”) basically said it was risky to rearrange it and that she was doing a horrible job. In a separate interview Dilana said “if I get crucified for messing up this, whoever criticizes me needs their head read…I’m not screwing this up and that’s all I’m going to say about that.” Ok, we know she has some cajones, but is she really about to take a nosedive like this on the last performance show? I don’t know. I can’t wait to find out.

The last bit of the show was mostly filler. They showed everyone packing and analyzing how they feel about the experience. The whole time they had Toby singing some song on his acoustic guitar in the background. The final interview was with Dilana. She said “I need Supernova, and Supernova needs me.” To me, that felt like a crappy way to end things. Fortunately, the producers put a little bit of things into the credits. They showed Magni, Toby, and Dilana swimming and screwing around in the pool. The funniest thing happened during that. Toby and Dilana were basically standing waste deep in the pool. This is the conversation that made me bust a gut:
Toby to Dilana: “I can see your tits.” (note: she had a top on)
Dilana to Toby: “I can see yours.”
Toby to Dilana: “Well, I said that, because I didn’t think you were a girl.”
Hahaha. That’s still pretty damn funny. It kinda adds validity to what the roommate said a few weeks ago: he thinks Dilana is the Marlboro Man and she sounds like a man.

So let’s handicap things here for the finale. I think Magni is a strong contender, but I don’t think he’ll win. Dilana has a pretty good shot at winning, but I don’t know how much of a shot she has after the ups and downs she’s had lately. Toby is by far the leader in my opinion. I really think he’s got the best shot. Lukas is hard to read. So many people like him, but I don’t know if he’ll make it. We all know how much that voice thing drove Jason Newstead crazy in the beginning of the show. He really hasn’t stopped gargling marbles while singing these songs.

What do you think?

Songs on the Playlist:
The Doors – Break On Through (To The Other Side)
Cream – We’re Going Wrong
The Rolling Stones – You Gotta Move
Southern Culture On The Skids – White Trash
Alice Cooper – School’s Out
Van Halen – Can’t Stop Loving You
Widespread Panic – Climb To Safety
The Doobie Brothers – Jesus Is Just Alright
The Rolling Stones – Ruby Tuesday
Widespread Panic – You Got Yours
The Beatles – Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
Led Zeppelin – Your Time Is Gonna Come
Cream – Sweet Wine
Kiss - Beth

Hey, It's Late

Yeah, I'm posting this because I'm about to go to bed. I had a great weekend. I'll give you a full recap later, but I don't know when. I have to go into jury duty tomorrow. Yeah Jury Duty on 9/11. I honestly don't feel that safe. But what are you going to do? So I may be MIA for a while. I'll try to make up for it.

Oh yeah, Ole Miss got destroyed by a very good Mizzou team this weekend. That sucks. But it is a second rebuilding year in a row. Hopefully Coach O will get the ship righted. And for all you non-Mizzou fans who want to talk smack (Serrabee and Princess Shaw Shaw) remember: we lost to the Mizzou Tigers, not the Memphis Tigers. Bite your tongues. I don't want to remind you that we've beat you two years in a row.

Ok, have a great Monday.