Insecurities of Old Fuckers and a Wonderful Rumor

Hope you had a restful weekend. I did. Before I continue the spread of a rumor that's started, I'm going to cover a topic that I have to share.

The other day I was swimming laps at the gym. I stopped at the end of my workout and noticed some older guy in another lane swimming. This isn't out of the ordinary. Most people who swim laps at my gym are either in high school/on a swim team or are "older" (read: age of parents/grandparents). I wouldn't have paid any attention other than the fact that he kept stopping at the end of each pool length to fix his combover. Yeah, you read that correctly. He would stop and fix his combover while swimming. I wanted to tell him to just go buy a swim cap, but I laughed to myself and called it a night.

This isn't the only time recently I've seen an older man with a hair malfunction. A while back I was with a family and one of the children kept coming up to the father and saying "Daddy, would you please do something about this? I'm tired of fixing your combover." Literally, the father's combover would start to slide forwards or backwards on his head, and the child (who is my age) would reach up and put it back in place. I can't make this up.

I wonder, why do men of the previous generation feel that a combover is an appropriate response to hair loss? Seriously? It's really one step above a toupee. The only thing that distinguishes the combover from the toupee in the realm of "pathetic ways to cope" is a combover is real hair. Really your own hair. What little bit you have left of it. Only strangers and your childrens' friends will laugh at your combover. With a toupee, even your friends and family members will laugh at you.

I know that losing your hair is a huge confidence killer for men. But instead of worrying about that little patch of hair you're losing on top of your head, why don't you worry about something you can control, like the spare tire you're carrying around.

But back to the original guy in the pool, why would he fix the damn combover every lap. He would literally stop, fix the combover, catch a quick breath, and start all over. It was almost like he was thinking "alright if I fix this really quickly, the cute lifeguard won't notice it slipping. And maybe at the other end of the pool it will still be in place!" Do you know what the definition of insanity is? Insanity is performing the exact same action(s) repeatedly and expecting a different outcome every time.

Okay enough of that crap. On to the rumor...

I've heard this also, but Downtown Paul posted that Raiford is going to do one final party. I don't have the date or location yet, but it's supposed to be somewhere downtown. I hope it's going to be as badass as everyone will make it out to be. I'll post more on this when I get it confirmed.

Have a good one and don't get none on ya.