Saturday Recap

So Saturday was a marathon. It was supposed to start around 5, but I didn't get to the Porter's preparty until 6. The basic plan was preparty from 5 to 7, go to the karaoke fundraiser from 7 to 8, preparty for the Walrus show at HM's from 8 to 10, and then go to the Walrus show for the rest of the night. Obviously that didn't work out just right.


The Porters were nice enough to fix mexican food for everyone. We watched basketball, listened to dogs that never stopped barking, drank, told jokes, and got tasered (spelling?). That's right, Tackleberry had a taser. Not a police issued one, but a self defense one. He asked who wanted to be tasered, but no one stepped up. He shocked his own arm and when he didn't fall down, we were a little less skeptical. I stepped up and let him taser my arm. It's more of a surprise than a pain issue. It's a little shock actually. Now I don't recommend being shocked by one of those police ones. Well after most of the guys got tasered, people started heading to the karaoke fundraiser. I hate to say it, but it was kinda boring. Other than a few funny people singing, I was ready to head out. Maybe that was because I was looking forward to the Walrus show at the Blue Monkey. But that doesn't make up for the fact that the karaoke party kinda sucked. I have a few pics that I took from the party and a few that were emailed to me.

Here's the Shady Hasbeen. Apparently last year when she was a Ptolemy duchess, she got first place in the solo female competition.

In between songs, I caught the Shady Lady V, Shady Hasbeen, and Duchess Worm hanging out (the night before April did...no, wait, she TRIED to do the worm at the royalty practice. There is a video of it out there but I can't get a hold of it for some reason. Probably because when I get it, I'm putting it on YouTube and here).

I'm not saying who this is, but most of his friends can figure out who it is. I don't remember the exact reason why we took this picture, but I do remember he said that he said it was ok to post online. Seriously why do people pose for pics like this? Thanks bud, but enjoy the ridicule you'll get for this. After a few folks sang, Big Poppa Rich got up to sing "Sexual Healing." Needless to say the crowd went nuts.For some reason he jumped on a chair during the song (btw, he won first place).

Actually Uncle Scottie Too Hottie jumped up and did his impression of Ol' Blue Eyes. He was already in a tux for a party later that night so he figured "My Way" was perfect.

After that, I snuck out to go preparty for the Walrus show. Now the next three shots I didn't take, but I thought were funny enough to include. First is the royalty doing a version of "Beauty School Dropout" from Grease. Am I the only person who hates that damn movie? Queen Valet is the one with pink hair.

Like I said, I have no idea what's going on, but apparently Duchess Worm wanted to pose for something funny.Here's Big Poppa Rich and Mailbox Mike.

That's all the pics from the fundraiser.

I went to HM's house for a vodka tonic while we waited on a cab to take us to the Blue Monkey. An hour and half and a few vodka tonics later, the cab finally showed up. We had called 5 times trying to get a cab, but they kept saying they were busy. When I got in the cab, I asked if it was a busy night. The cabbie said it was pretty dead. Thanks Yellow Cab. You Suck.

We finally got to the show a few songs into the first set. Fortunately, the second song they played was "Watusi Rodeo" by Guadacanal Diary which was the one song I really wanted to hear. Here are a couple of pics of the band.

One of the first groups of people I ran into was my buddy Chris, his wife Frances, his sister, and brother-in-law from North Carolina. First thing the sister said to me was "I hear you can drink. You don't look like much to me." Seriously, if you're in your late 30, have a 10 year old kid, and are a skinny woman, don't call me out. I said "Why don't you get a couple of jager bombs and we'll see just how long it'll take until you're passed out on the floor and I'm standing there laughing at you." She goes to the bar and comes back with her hands full of shots. Unfortunately she's not hip enough to understand the "bomb" part of jager bombs. She had four shots of jager and five people (someone was the DD). She and I took the shots while her husband and brother refused. She grabbed theirs and handed them to me. I said "goodby memories" and downed the second shot. An hour or so later I ran back into them. Guess who was in better shape.

Let's see who else did I run into. I think I ran into one of the bosses at my new job. Not sure because I only saw him on two interviews, but I acted like I knew him and shook his hand. Problem was that I had taken those jager shots ten minutes earlier.

After a while most of the folks from the fundraiser made it up there. Some hadn't seen Walrus and were very impressed. Walrus played one hell of a show, especially for a group that added two new songs and hasn't played or practiced since January. One of the guys who was impressed with the band was Big Poppa Rich. He was riding one hell of a high after getting first place for solo male. He thought it would be a great idea if he got on stage to sing a certain song with Walrus. I know their song list mostly since I've been to a lot of their shows. Unfortunately he wanted to do a song by a band they've never played. Despite my inebriated state I was able to convince him not to just walk on stage. I told him to wait until just before their third set. He didn't know it, but I had already seen a copy of the setlist and knew they were only doing two sets. But I kept him from running on stage. Sorry dude.

Of course Big D made it. And he didn't get kicked out of this bar. Aren't you proud of him.

At the beginning of the second set I started getting phone calls and text messages from Scottie Too Hottie. Apparently Lord T & Eloise were making a surprise last minute appearance at the birthday party he was going to. He wanted us to go, but we were having too much fun to leave. Here's a pic I was sent of Scottie Too Hottie with Mister E.

After the show was over I kept running around from group to group. I don't really remember what all I said or who I talked to because it was crazy. About 30 minutes after the second set, Holly offered to give HM and me a lift home. I wanted to keep partying so I tried to get her to drive us to the party where Scottie Too Hottie was. He said it was a great time. Well Holly wouldn't go for it so we jumped in a cab. Turns out it wasn't our cab but belonged to this couple who were also headed towards downtown. They were nice enough to share the cab with us. They weren't nice enough to stop playing grab and tickle during the entire cab ride. Seriously. Imagine an episode of taxi cab confessions where the couple is making out in the backseat and don't care if they're on TV or not. Then add two more people in the backseat who are trying not to laugh or stare. That was the ride.

We got to the birthday party. It was dead. I mean absolutely dead. There were still people there, but Lord T & Eloise had left and Scottie Too Hottie was nowhere to be found. I think I saw Eloise out of costume, but what the hell could I tell at that point. The bartenders at the party were making the drinks way too strong. I had a cranberry and vodka that tasted like vodka with red food coloring. "Stout" doesn't describe it at all. It didn't help my already inebriated state. We decided to leave and saw S2H just before we jumped in another cab. After saying "hey and bye" we headed back eastbound.

We walked into Newby's for a beer. TA handed me a tequila shot. It was that point that we decided to call it a night.

Turns out I went from about 6PM until 3AM. Definitely a fun night. The next morning I got a call from my buddy Chris about 9:30. I hadn't woken up and the only words I could muster were "I hate your sister." Of course I don't, but at that moment I hated anything that kept me from sleeping. Turns out she was in worse shape that I was. That made me feel better.

I finally got off the couch around 10:30. I had to head back home to rally with the family for a birthday party. I made a quick stop for some supplies.

All in all I had a great night. It was one hell of a night to celebrate my new employment.

Songs on the Ipod:

Michael Buble - Sway

Jack Johnson - Do You Remember
Big & Rich - Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)
George Thorogood & the Destroyers - Move It On Over

Emmylou Harris - Jambalaya

Juvenile - Back That Ass Up

Robert Earl Keen - Gringo Honeymoon

Jefferson Airplane - Don't You Want Somebody To Love

Dave Matthews Band - Drive In Drive Out

Nirvana - Pennyroyal Tea

Robert Earl Keen - Corpus Christi Bay

Led Zeppelin - Moby Dick

Last Week Notes

I've got a few things to post covering last week before I get to the Saturday night recap

- I have a new favorite deal in town that I thought I'd share with yall. The brother told me about it. Apparently Little Caesars has this $5 "hot & ready" pizza deal. You get a large cheese, sausage, or pepperoni pizza for like $5. The trick is getting there when they just finished making them.

- Have you seen those ads for the Blockbuster Total Access? I heard a rumor about how it's not going to work in several cities. Apparently if your local Blockbusters are part of a franchise, you can't return the tapes you get in the mail and exchange them at the store. Why? Because the tapes that are mailed to you belong to Blockbuster the corporation.

- Supposedly the Brookhaven Pub has had a series of events where a stink bomber has attacked the bar randomly over the last few months. How do I know this? Well one of the waiters explained it to me after my friend got kicked out last week. Here's the story:
Some of my friends were out at a fundraiser. One of them had a bottle of "French Parfume" for whatever reason at the fundraiser. They came to meet us at the B'haven Pub afterwards and he had the bottle in his pocket. Someone asked him if they could see it. He handed it to them and they opened it up before quickly closing it. Our area of the bar stunk for a brief moment. Someone else got a hold of the bottle and did it again. I walked over and asked to see the bottle. I immediately walk outside to chunk it in the trash. Apparently the B'haven doesn't have any trash cans outside. I asked the bouncer where the closest one was, he said the big dumpster out back was the only one. I said screw that and started to head back in. He said he was headed that way so he'd throw away whatever I needed gone. So I handed it to him and went back inside. Fifteen minutes later the bartender grabbed my buddy and kicked him out (turns out he followed me outside when I took the bottle). A waiter happens to be an old friend of my buddy and explained the situation to him. Funny thing is my friend is getting blamed for the repeated attacks while he only did it once. He had just bought that bottle that day. The best part is that the Brookhaven is his favorite bar, he lives about a mile away, and he goes up there about once every two weeks.
And his wife is mad at me for him getting kicked out.

- What else did I learn last week? Oh! Apparently Cougars In Training can't bake cookies. I guess no matter how late into the evening it got, CIT's burn cookies while I make them just right. Maybe that's why she got a divorce. Hmm...

- I just heard that Sunday night (i.e. Easter Sunday night) is going to be one of the best nights on television. Why? The Sopranos and Entourage return to HBO, baby!!!

That's all I've got for now. Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

Great Change to a Classic Joke

My Daddy, the Dancer

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.

However, little Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Johnny aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," the boy said, "He works for the Democratic National Committee and is helping to get Hillary Clinton to be our next President, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

Waiting on a Friend(s)

I'm waiting on people to send me pics from this weekend before I post the long post recaping Saturday night. So hurry up and email them to me you bums.

Ouch

I had WAAAYYYY too much fun last night. I'll post the recap later today or tomorrow.

Friday Update

Let's see what's going on...well, I'm not going house sitting anymore. I'm back home in G'town.

What else? Oh yeah,

I GOT A FUCKING JOB!!!

That's right, I no longer have to wait around for my unemployment check every week. I am going to be another member of the employed zombies out there. I've been looking for a good job for 6 months and within 24 hours of each other, I got two job offers this week. Extraordinary job offers at that. Now I'm not going to publish either company's name or which one I chose. But I expect to start working again the Monday after Easter. So I have one more week of sleeping late and being a lazy bum.

Anyhoo, what else is going on? Well my friends in the Ptolemy royalty are trying to con me into attending the Karaoke fundraiser with them this Saturday night. I'm definitely blowing off that opportunity. Why? Because Walrus is playing at the Blue Monkey in Midtown.

That's all I'm going to put up for now. I'm going to do a post later this weekend with all the stuff that I didn't post during the week.

Quick Recapping Post

I only have a few minutes and I want to post a few things to recap the weekend.

Friday night I went to an engagement party for Ellie & Tim. Had a great time. Nothing extraordinary worth mentioning. But like I said, I had a great time.

Saturday I got a text message from Angie about the MPact Casino Royale party. Unfortunately I already had plans to head to Brookhaven Pub with the Shady Hasbeen. We were going to have a few drinks and meet up with the Ptolemy Royal Lushes after they got done with a fundraiser. Uncle Scottie Too Hottie, Hanky Panky, MK, and Hap were also all there. Lil L also showed up when he got done with work.
Like I mentioned before the Ptolemy royalty had been at a fundraiser. The theme was 50's, 60's, and 70's. For some reason they chose to do something from the 50's (lame choice!). The girls got poodle skirts and wore these shoes. Queen Kathryn calls the shoes "blogaliscious." I call them "better if worn with a Catholic school girl outfit." Sunday was Duchess Colleen's birthday so after midnight I bought her a shot. I only bought her a single shot because she takes forever to actually take them: "if I'm going to drink a shot, why not sip it and enjoy it?" My answer is because you shoot a shot by definition. Here's our before pic.

Here's a pic literally ten minutes later after she finished it.

After the Brookhaven pub closed, I rolled over to the Windjammer with Uncle S2H and two of his friends from college. I got a pic of a definite cougar in training (aka CIT, aka Cougar Cub). By the way when did the Windjammer start closing at 3 on a Saturday? I thought they stayed open all night. I've been there until 4:30 before.

Sunday was the brunch for Colleen's birthday. I went and met her and about 25-30 of her friends at Owen Brennan's. The brunch is great there. The bloody mary's aren't though. But I had a great time eating jambalaya, crawfish etouffe, and bacon. Those are great at taking care of a hangover.

After the brunch I was heading home down Goodlett by Audubon Park when I saw this:

Apparently when you get too old for Dungeons and Dragons and get a little money, you actually dress up as medieval knights and fight each other in the park. Not only do they fight, but they bring their families with them to watch. "Oh no kids, look away! Daddy's getting his butt kicked by a bigger dork!"

Anyhoo, I know that's not a detailed recap, but I just wanted to get it done quickly before I leave. Have a good one and don't get none on you.

Quick Update

I'm house sitting this week where there's no internet access. So I will try to post when I get the chance.

Lessons Learned

Guess what I'm about to do...

That's right, I predicted that Memphis will lose to Texas A&M. I was close, but when you're in this city and you're not a Memphis fan AND you openly say you think they will lose, you'll never hear the end of it. So I'm going to have to eat crow. But we did learn an important lesson: Memphis has their hands full when they play a legit team.

Let's see; what else did I learn today? Well I learned that if you only have an RC Cola and a moon pie to eat in one day, you shouldn't go swim 2 miles. You need plenty of food in your system. On lap 26 out of 70 (I count backwards so it was my 44th lap), I lost most of my energy. But I kept going and finished my two miles. I was physically exhausted. It reminded me of a time long ago when I was running cross country. Summer before my senior year, our team went to a camp near Heber Springs, AR, called Team Trek. One morning we got up and had a quick breakfast before going running. We did that everyday, but this one particular day we went to a two lane road and ran 14.6 miles. I was almost to the point of collapsing when we were done but had a very strange euphoric feeling running through my veins (you can call it a runner's high). Unfortunately I didn't have the euhporia today, just the physical exhaustion.

New Memphis Blogger and March Madness

- I read downtown Paul's blog and noticed he had linked to a new Memphis Blogger. So welcome Midtown Ryan. In case yall want to check out his blog you can click on the link in this post or on the link in my blog roll to the right.

- So far March Madness has hurt me as much as anyone, except my Final Four are still alive. I am actually right on the South Region (the only game wrong there was Nevada beating Creighton). So here's my predictions for the next games based entirely on my initial criteria. I'll highlight the teams I picked correctly in bold yellow:

EAST BRACKET
1. UNC over 5. USC and
2. Georgetown over 6. Vanderbilt

MIDWEST BRACKET
1. Florida over 5. Butler and
3. Oregon over 7. UNLV (note: I initially had Wisconsin over Notre Dame in this round)

WEST BRACKET
1. Kansas over 4. Southern Illinois and
2. UCLA over 3. Pitt

and finally for all my local readers...
SOUTH BRACKET
1. Ohio State over 5. Tennessee and
3. Texas A&M over 2. Memphis

Yeah I said it. I think our city's premiere junior college will lose to the Aggies. I heard some ESPN commentator say the same thing I've been thinking: if they get past the second round (which they did), they will play a higher caliber team than any they have played since December. To me this makes sense. Yeah, Memphis has blown out everyone in C-USA, but that's C-USA. Memphis is the only C-USA team in the NCAA tournament. There are at least three Big 12 teams in the NCAA tournament. That's like going from playing against 7th grade teams one week to Varsity teams the next.

There, I've said it. I'm ready for the rash of crap I'm going to catch when I'm wrong. But I still feel that playing for so long in the C-USA is going to hurt your Memphis Tigers. Plus it's in San Antonio. You could take the entire fan base from Memphis to the game and they still wouldn't have as many fans as the Aggies are going to bring.

Now I will say that the UT vs Ohio State game is going to be real interesting. Ohio State is going to have to step up if they want to beat the Vols.


That's all I'm got to talk about today. Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

Video

Great Restaurant Recommendation

For the fourth time now, I've eaten a great meal at Mosa Asian Bistro. It's an asian fusion restaurant. I recommend the potstockers as an appetizer. I love them. They are located at Kirby Parkway and Poplar in the shopping center on the northwest corner (address 1825 Kirby Parkway). Their menu is on their website. I recommend you get your happy ass over there. They are open for both lunch and dinner. You get plenty of food for not too much money.

Oh yeah, if you get something spicy, you probably shouldn't get "hot." You might not be able to take it (according to the brother who eats hot food all the time).

Phoenix Club Mardi Gras Party Recap

So last night the brother and I went to the Phoenix Club's Mardi Gras/Casino Party. The chairs of the party were Brown D and Brown G (aka "The Browns"). The entertainment was provided at first by casino games and then later by the Aristocrunk of Lord T & Eloise featuring MisterE and Al Kapone (special guest appearance).

We didn't get there until about 10. I didn't my first drink until 10:30. Why? I ran into so many people I hadn't seen since high school or college or just a few years back. I had a lot of great catching up with folks. Nothing too scandalous went down, but it was a great time. I was approached several times by a douchebag from my past who likes to exaggerate stories into lies, but hopefully he'll get the hint and go the f*ck away (btw if I spoke to someone for more than a minute, they weren't him). Other than dealing with that dork, it was a great evening.

I heard all kinds of stories from the Ptolemy float at the St Patty's parade on Beale St. Apparently one of the duchesses accidentally threw a ring with some beads. I guess it must not have been tight on her finger. I'm sure she found solice in a beer or two after the parade.

Anyhoo, I ran into too many old friends at the party, but I completely forgot to start taking pictures until later in the evening. Sorry. Here's a pic of TY with a new friend. He poured her a beer and they became friends. It must be that simple sometimes.Here's a pic of the brother and me. Here's a pic of the brother with my buddy Jake. Jake and I were at Ole Miss at the same time. My brother pledged his old fraternity after Jake had left college. After they were talking a while they realized that the room in the house that Jake had at one time, my brother had a few years later. Real small world.

Here's a pic of me with my friend Ryan.

Here's a pic of me with the brother and Ryan.

Like I said, I didn't start taking pics until too late in the night. I wish I had started earlier. Here's what I would like to have pics of:

- the Browns wearing matching outfits. I'm sure they didn't do it on purpose, but it was still funny as hell.

- Me with Micah and Court. She apparently died her hair so he got a new cut (told you I'd mention it, Micah). How long do you have to be a couple before you start coordinating when you change hairstyles? Apparently I've never been in a relationship that long...thank God. I'm happy for them.

- Me with Shannon the FD. Why? He had way too many stupid St. Patty's Day toys on.

- Me with Calvit and his magic St Patty's glasses.

Of course there are others, but those are the best ones I can remember.

About 11 they closed the casino tables downstairs and sent the crowd upstairs for the show of Lord T & Eloise. I've missed their show many times before, but I wasn't about to miss this time. So I got close to the front for the show. I have to say, they kick ass. Here are a bunch of pics of them performing.

After the second set started, Al Kapone came out to play with our royal boys. It was crazy. The Browns were on the side of the stage and got a few pics of me. I'll get them to email me copies and post them later.

In between the sets I was talking to Andy and the brother when Andy noticed some couple behind me playing a little game I like to call "hide my hands where no one can see them." Seriously this couple was in a chair and the guy's hands were everywhere and then a few other places. Neither of them seemed to care that there were a hundred people around. So I kept my back turned to them as a shield while Andy tried to take a few pics. For some reason the flash wouldn't work but we did get a few pics. On this first pic you can see she is still on his lap. He's blocking the camera with his back, but his left hand is cupping her.

Here she got a little too into it and lost control, falling out of his lap onto the floor. I've painted over her face so that no one can tell who they are.

Here is where she had passed out in the chair a few minutes later. I know the pic looks like it's just them in the hallway, but there were about 50 people around watching this. About a minute or two after she passed out, some girl came over and started trying to revive her. It actually took throwing water on her face to get her to wake back up. At that point she was escorted to the ladies room. I guess if you can't drink with the big boys you'd better stay at home.

So overall I had a great time. Hung out with some old friends and a few new ones. If you missed the party, you made a huge mistake. Don't do it next year.

Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

Ptolemy Happy Hour Recap

The brother and I headed to the Ptolemy kickoff party for our Poker Run Fundraiser. We had an absolute blast. I didn't take any pics though. I spent most of my time talking to friends and congratulating new papas Trip and James. Both of their wives gave birth on the same night. It was actually the first time I saw them since before their kids were born.

I also heard that Joey D and Amy are engaged. Apparently it happened two months ago. When did I get out of the loop? I can't believe I didn't even hear about it at Coronation or before.

The big news of the evening is that most folks had their March Madness brackets screwed up by Virginia Commonwealth. How so? They beat Duke. In the first round. Honestly, has that ever happened in the history of Duke University? So does this mean that we won't have to see commercials of Valparaiso beating Ole Miss anymore?

Let's see what else. Oh, Mailbox Mike has finally accepted his nickname as permanent fixture to his persona. He signed some charity shamrock at TJ Mulligan's as "Mailbox Mike." Funny thing is that a lot of folks don't know his last name but know him as Mailbox Mike. I honestly heard a few folks call him that. I'm still laughing whenever I think about it.

By the way why is it a big deal for me to drink water at a Happy Hour? I honestly didn't know that a ton of folks would ask me why I was drinking water. This Lent thing is hard. Big D actually handed me a beer and was offended when I didn't accept it. But I continue to follow my pledge without hesitation. And the folks I told it to were impressed by my devotion.

I have officially scared our Royalty to death almost. They are afraid of me showing up after they've been at parties and taking bad pics of them (like what could have happened Saturday night if my camera had been working properly). I wonder when it's actually going to happen. Hmm...

That's all I've got from tonight. I tried to post a funny video here, but it wouldn't work. So here's a link to WHAT HE'S REALLY THINKING.

Saturday & Tuesday Nights

Saturday night I was going to meet up with the Ptolemy royalty after they got done at another krewe's coronation. The Shady Hasbeen and Shady Lady V were going to head up there with me so I headed to their apartment complex. We had drinks and waited for the royalty to call us with their post party plans. And we waited. And we waited. Apparently they aren't going to leave parties this year until the band is finally over. Sucks to be a royal, I guess.

Anyhoo, after we finally got the word to head to the Blue Monkey, Shady H was waiting on Lloyd to get there and they would show up later. Shady LV and I headed on. We had a good time but we weren't having near as good a time as the royals. I got a few pics.

Here's Duchess April, Duchess Kristie, Queen Kathryn, and Shady LV.

Here's the King and Queen.Someone tore her dress again.Here's duchesses Autumn and April (or as someone called them "the seasons").We stayed there a while and then called it a night. It was fun. But I was never able to catch up with their royal headstart.

Tuesday was Uncle Scottie Too Hottie's Birthday. He wanted to get folks together at the Brookhaven Pub. Here's a pic of the birthday boy with his birthday bottle of Ol' Grandad:

I took my cousin Robert who was in town for spring break. We hung out with Andy and Jana, McAsh, Dr. J, Mailbox Mike, and a several other folks. About 9 I realized that it was starting to wind down so I decided to take Robert to Ernestine and Hazel's. He'd never had a soulburger to I told him about it on the way there. I was afraid I oversold the quality of it, but after a few bites, he told me that it was the greatest burger he's ever had. We later headed to Silky's on Beale and had a beer there. He was really impressed with E&H and Silky's. Everytime he's come to Memphis, he's been underage so I couldn't really take him around. But he had a blast.

Other than all that I've been interviewing and spending time with my family lately. Kind of laying low and behaving myself. I hope you all are having a great week.

Please read the post below about the party Saturday night.

BREAKING NEWS!!!

THIS JUST IN!!! Al Kapone is going to play with Lord T & Eloise at this Saturday's Phoenix Club's Mardi Gras/Casino Party. If you don't have your tickets yet, you'd better let me know ASAP. I have a few left. The price will go up the night of the party.

Email me at memphisphilip(at)hotmail(dot)com if you want a ticket.

Quick Post

I'll post the recap from Saturday night later. I've been interviewing the last two days AND have family in town so I've been a little occupied.

Tonight we are going to celebrate Uncle Scottie Too Hottie's bday. If you didn't get the invite, text me and I'll let you know where we are. We're doing this in lieu of having the Thursday Drinking team meet any other day this week.

If you're looking for plans tomorrow night (Wednesday), Newby's has the crawfish boil followed by The Wailers on the band side. For those of you who are culturally ignorant, The Wailers are Bob Marley's band.

Thursday night is the Ptolemy Fundraiser Kickoff party at TJ Mulligan's at 6PM. The money raised will go to a local children's charity so go sign up. The fundraiser is going to be a Poker Run downtown. I'll give you more details on that when the time comes.

Saturday is the St Patrick's parade on Beale Street at 4PM. I'm blowing that off so I can get ready for the real party that night: the Phoenix Club's Mardi Gras/Casino Gaming party. If you've never been, go. It's an absolute blast. Definitely a target rich environment. If you are interested in a ticket, email me at memphisphilip(at)hotmail(dot)com.

Other than that I have nothing to report. Oh yeah, I hate the fact I can only drink two nights a week during Lent. Don't know why I did that. Kinda sucks having to pick what you do and what you're blowing off. And I really don't want to play DD anymore because driving drunken duchesses sucks.

Have a good one and don't get none on you.

Thursday Tactical Drinking

So last night a small group of us were supposed to met up at Newby's at 7. The first fashionably late person showed up at 7:45 and then everyone else started to roll in. By the way to those of you who said you were going to make it out and then just decided to stay in, here's a little message for you:

And if you didn't get plenty of voicemails and text messages telling you so, that was just a little reminder.

Anyhoo, Mendi and Meredith were there. Meredith loves the tots. The first bunch she ordered were plain. As soon as she said she could eat another tot if her life depended on it, I decided to take that challenge. I ordered the smothered tots. Did you know they've changed them? The old smothered tots were tots covered in cheese and bacon with ketchup and sour cream on the side. They've done away with the sour cream and bacon on the new smothered tots. You get bbq pork and Newby's sweet BBQ sauce on the side now. It's pretty damn good. I'm not sure if I like it more than the old way or not.

Apparently Mendi doesn't like it when people take her stools. Here's an example of a mad Mini-her saying "hi."Duchess Colleen even made it to the gig. She kept saying she had to leave at 9. But I could have sworn I saw here there at 11:45. She is my NEW favorite duchess.
Miss MySpace gave her zeal of approval for our shenanigans. Or is that her mating signal? I think it's a combination of both.

The Uncle Scottie Too Hottie came after he finished his work dinner. He rolled into the bar as a James Bond impersonator. Then he started doing his Gene Simmons' look. Remember ladies, he is single.A couple of weeks ago the brother and I went to meet Mendi for her bday at the Flying Saucer. We have a tradition on each of our bday's we take two Patron shots. We actually only took one on her bday so I had to get the other round last night. Here's that fun:Here's a pic of me with Colleen and Mendi. The debate of the night was heated. I'll leave it open to yall: Are these hooker boots or not? I'm going with yeah they kinda are. Anyway, thanks to everyone who showed up: Mendi, Meredith, Mailbox Mike, Colleen, the brother, Scottie Too Hottie, HM, guy whose name I can't remember, and a few others.

After everyone started leaving, I went to find the brother. He had run into a bunch of friends from college. I decided it was high time to head home. So I jumped in the trunk and started heading eastward. I called a few wing places to get some late night grub, but they were all closed. I had to wonder: what kind of respectable hot wing restaurant is closed at 1 AM on a Thursday? The answer is any of them outside Midtown. So I decided on the next best course of action: I'm heading to a grocery store to buy some frozen oven wings. Well I had an unused Wal-Mart gift card so I headed there. It was the first time I've been on a late night, post-bar visit to Wal-Mart since college (we used to play Wal-Mart football, more on that in a future post).

Unfortunately, I was unable to find any frozen wings that weren't breaded. And they didn't have any that were hot. All of a sudden I felt a calling from the electronics section. I walked over and found my hands reaching for several DVDs. Next thing I know I'm at the checkout with Lost Season 2, Pirates of the Caribbean 1 and 2, Hidalgo, and Waiting. Alas my gift card was for only $30. But in my eloquent state, I didn't want to take the time to return any of it, so I just bought it all and headed home. Cooked my wings. Only ate four because they were horrible. For the record don't ever buy breaded wings. They have no flavor or heat.

Anyhoo, I had a great time last night. Probably too much fun for my own good, but you need that ever once in a while. I'm not sure what I'm doing Saturday night, but I hope it'll be as much fun as last night.

Hoorah!!!

I didn't drunk post last night! I'm so proud of myself. I'll post the recap later with pics. And I'm not that hungover despite the best efforts of last night's contingency of the Thursday Tactical Drinking Team.

By the way, going to Wal-Mart at 3am after a few double vodka tonics looking for frozen hot wings is a lot of fun. But I'll go into more details in the full recap.

American Idol HNT

Ok, under no circumstance have I watched an episode of American Idol. But when I was checking Break.com last night I noticed they had a bunch of pics for one of the female contestants: Antonella Barba. I know nothing about her. But they had a bunch of hot pics so instead of taking a lame ol' pic of myself, I figured I'd treat my loyal readers to a great set of pics I snagged off Break.com.
Enjoy and have a happy Half-Nekkid Thursday.

Apparently she enjoys a little BBall.Is she a sexy librarian or teacher?God Bless America!!! Peekaboos are patriotic!Playing in the fountain: it's like Friends, only hot!

Several Subjects...Enjoy

- Cool friends are hard to come by. But when you get them, you better do your best not to neglect the friendships. That being said, thanks to everyone who hosted and attended the Unemployment Fair this past Friday. The BBQ was great and the beer was cold. I was going to show up after my interview but my alternator decided to die and a wire in the wiring harness was the culprit. A few hours and too many dollars later I was able to finally show up and start drinking.

And thanks to all my friends who called/texted me to come out Friday night after I left the Unemployment Fair. I'm sure I would have had a blast at Brookhaven, the Windjammer, Newby's, Celtic Crossing, and E&H, but I had been drinking for about 7 hours and needed to go to bed.

- You already know about Saturday night. Sorry I was kinda down and harsh on the people who frequented the theater that evening. But I had a huge lack of respect for the general public after witnessing the theater incident. (see previous post)

- So far this week I have had a job offer. It's nothing fancy but it is an offer nonetheless...to work at a liquor store. I'd pull the trigger, but I just went through the first round of an interview with a great logistics company that'll start me off about 8K less than I was making. Hopefully I can swing a job there. That would be great.

- Oh yeah, this Thursday we are restarting our happy hour crew (as Uncle Scottie Too Hottie named it: "Thursday Tactical Drinking Team"). Most of our charter members won't be there, but we've got a ton of new talent showing up. I know I've invited a ton of folks, but I keep feeling like I forgot to invite some. So email me if you normally came last year and didn't get the email. I'll give you the details.

- Lent: As I've said a few times here, I've got two things I'm doing/giving up for Lent this year:
1) Not drinking more than 2 nights a week
2) Swimming at least 4 miles a week
So far I'm doing very well on both. The first one is harder than I thought initially. I like to go out on a week night every once in a while and if I do, then I have to either be a designated driver or stay in one night on the weekend.

Well that's all I've got for now. See most of you tomorrow after work.
Have a good one and don't get none on you.

Adventure in Suburbia (movie theater drama)

I'll talk about Friday in another post. It'll be long, I promise.

Tonight I went to catch a movie and almost witnessed a hate crime. Let me explain:

I have already met my quota for going out this week (Lent: can't drink more than 2 days a week). So I could play DD for drunk friends or I could go catch Black Snake Moan. I chose the latter. I picked the7:30 showing at the Collierville movieplex, because I figured that it wouldn't be too busy on Saturday night. After all, no one goes out or does anything worth mentioning in the suburbs, right. It'll be pretty empty, right? Obviously I was wrong.

I get my ticket for the flick after waiting in line. When I think of the type of people who would move to Collierville, I imagine nice, polite families and retirees. Of course the families might have the rebelling teenager, but so what? It's a suburb of Memphis, and a supposedly nice one at that.

Well imagine my surprise when I arrive in the ticket line and realize that the bowels of Frayser, Byhalia, and Selmer opened up over the Collierville Cinema-Plex to release all of their worst elements. Every demographic's lowest common denominator was present. People were bumping into each other without apologizing and cutting in line. Of course there were a lot of nice folks who wouldn't ever be any trouble. And I'm sure a lot of great people. But apparently everyone there had stolen my idea of an easy night away from drama to catch a movie.

So I get my ticket and head in the front door. There's a guy there with the ticket box to tear my ticket. Apparently he has two responsibilities: model his pimple farm for all to enjoy and direct you to the appropriate next ticket box on the left or right depending on your film's theater location.

Have we as a society become so stupid we can't read a sign that tells you which movies are in which theaters? I know that we have to have the Nutritional Facts on our bottles of water, but are we now that much dumber?

So I get my Cherry Coke and head to my appropriate theater. I pick a seat in the middle of the row. I sit down and start to lean back, only to find that the seats here don't lean back as much as the Paradiso theater in East Memphis. I repeat the promise to myself that I'm going to get a damn good job and move from the vanilla suburbs back into the city, dammit!

The theater's filling up and the previews are starting. I notice in my peripherals a group of four bodies sitting at the end of my row to the right. The preview sucks so I just glance over. It's a family coming to watch Black Snake Moan. I notice that it's a Momma, a Daddy, and two kids. Not necessarily a big deal until I realize that the older of the two kids is shorter than I am...and I'm sitting low in my chair with my feet on the one in front of me. I think these two little girls couldn't have been older than 11 at the most. Probably more like 8 or 9. Still don't think it's a bad thing? Black Snake Moan is about a (basic plot spoiler!) bluesman in a rural town in Tennessee who tries to help this nymphomaniac overcome her sickness. And they provide plenty of examples of her nymphomania.

Just a little inappropriate for little girls. But I'm not their father.

So the movie starts, and I really enjoyed it. But about halfway through it, someone's phone rings. I've had this happen with my friends before at movies. We always feel a little embarassed that we were too stupid to turn off our ringers. But I realize that this ring is coming from the little family group to my right. (Cue bad but now proven stereotype!) That daddy answers the phone: "Hullo? Yea ******, I'm watchin da movie... Naw, it pretty good... Naw, I can taulk... Fo' real? Shiiiiiiiit."

About that moment I (and everyone else around) hear a real loud thud from that direction. Turns out an old man from another demographic kicked the back of Phone Guy's seat. Phone Guy said this before finally hanging up the phone: "...You know what? I'ma halfta call you back. Some dead fool just kicked my m*****-f***ing seat." He hung up the phone and stood up. I finally got a good look at him as well as the guy behind him. Phone Guy was about five foot four and looked like a basketball with arms and legs. He turned to face the guy behind him who was older and grey headed but kinda skinny. Phone Guy said "you gonna kick my seat, huh? You gonna back it up?"

His old lady made him sit down before Seat Kicker could respond. Then she went to get a manager. The whole time she was gone, I could hear Phone Guy: "M*****-f***er kicked my g-d seat. I'ma whoop his ass." She finally came back with a manager and pointed it out. I couldn't hear them, but I imagine that when she said the part about her man being on the phone and the manager noticed the 11 year old girls in the R movie, she probably mentioned that it was in everyone's best interest that they leave. The only evidence that I have to this is that the woman walked back to the seat, grabber her drink, and dragged her family out of there. The whole way out Phone Guy kept saying "I oughta shoot that damn m*****-f***er!"

We were able to watch the rest of Black Snake Moan in peace. It is a pretty damn good film. And Phone Guy never came back with a gun to shoot anyone. I kept waiting to see if I was going to witness to a hate crime or not, but nothing happened. Needless to say no one was quick to be the first out of the theater.

So what did I learn? That most of society's winners do not go to movie theaters in suburbia. And if someone answers their cell phone in front of you, kick their chair if you want to get shot.

Have a good one and don't get none on ya

Random notes

Tonight I went to Cigar Night. Had a blast. Only had a few beers but that's one of my two nights for this week. So now I have to choose between Friday and Saturday. Looks like it's going to be Friday. After my interview tomorrow, I am heading to the first meeting of the Unemployment Fair. There will be plenty of PBR and ribs. Turns out within the last two weeks I have two friends who quit jobs and another who was fired. So we're all hanging out, eating, and calling whomever will be the most pissed to hear "Hey, have fun at work! I'm unemployed but I'm enjoying my Friday by eating ribs and drinking PBR." If you get a phone call, sucks to be you. If you don't, I couldn't reach you or didn't call. Remember, if the phone doesn't ring, it's probably me.

Don't know if I'll go out Friday night...or if I'll even be able to go out Friday night.

Other than that, there's not much going on right now. I think I need to schedule another meeting of the Thursday Night Drinking Team or whatever the hell we called ourselves. It's been too long since we were all together.

Oh yeah! Shannon the FD sent me this pic from the Ptolemy Coronation Saturday night:

Thanks, bud.

Yall have a good one and don't get none on ya.

Dancing HNT

Ok so I was going to take a good pic for this week, but I had a job interview today and completely forgot. So I'll just reuse the pic from this weekend of me dancing with McAsh. Happy HNT yall (technically she's closer to HN than I am though).

And she corrected me the other day: she didn't go to the cancer bed for this; she went to get a spray tan.

Songs on the Ipod:
Bob Marley - I Shot The Sheriff
Widespread Panic - Thought Sausage
U2 - New Year's Day

Studio 60 post-poned

I just read this story on CNN. I am kinda upset. It basically says what I feared: NBC will eventually/probably be cancelled. I really like that show actually. It's smart and funny. It's stopped being preachy and is more about telling a story now. But I noticed that my tivo didn't record it Monday. When I looked into it, I noticed that the Black Donnelly's played instead. Hopefully, NBC will be smart enough to bring it back.

Anyhoo, that's all I'm going to talk about now. Oh yeah, I've already had one job interview this week and I have another two left. Hopefully one of them will pan out and I'll have a job soon.

Change is a Good Thang

In case you aren't paying attention, I just updated the blog. I like this new version of blogger. It made it easy to update the right side of the blog. So now I have two sets of lists (blogs and regular websites) as well as a pull down option for my archives. I may change it again soon.

I would like to say that I don't read all those blogs all the time. But I do check out some of them daily and check others every once in a while (i.e. when I am REALLY bored).

Have a great one and don't get none on ya.

Followup: I tried to add all the additional stuff I had on the side (FU Friday, HNT, etc.), but I can't get it to forward over. But I was able to save my tracker. Anyhoo, just thought I'd let you know. I'm going to go swimming now.

Hurting

So last night I was inspired. I still don't know by what or whom, but I was inspired. I started swimming my laps and just kept going. By the time I hit the first half mile, I decided to keep going for an additional half mile. Up until this point I had never swam further than maybe ten cool down laps beyond a mile. I swam a total of a mile and half last night non-stop, all 53 laps.
Needless to say, I woke up very sore today. But I have hit a new personal milestone. I am quite proud of myself.

And if you can't I really don't have much else to talk about. Except I don't like downtown Paul dreaming about me. That's kinda creepy.

Day Time Commercials

One thing you do when you don't work is watch tv while searching the net for a job. You can definitely tell the demographics that the day time commercials are pandering to. There was one I had to talk about:

There's a phone out there for (obviously) senior citizens called Jitterbug. It has big numbers that light up, a soft ear cushion and an extra loud speaker all for the older generation. There's even a point where this old guy says "no cutesy symbols. No flashy lights. Just a great phone."
The only real reason I bring this up is because I just went to help my grandmother buy a new phone the other day. It is hard to believe how hard it is to explain a new phone to someone older. I actually wish they sold phones like this Jitterbug at regular cell phone places. But they won't because they make their money selling the other junk (huge plans and packages). And if you have a phone that only dials people, how can you sell the other stuff.

Red Flag

Question:

If while on a first date a girl says she doesn't like Bob Marley, is that a red flag?

I was just wondering that today. I would say yes.

Obviously I don't really have much to talk about right now.