Birthday HNT

Next Wednesday is my friggin 27th birthday. But I plan on celebrating it (mainly) this weekend at the Ole Miss loss to Georgia. Yeah, I'm a Rebel fan, but I'm a realistic Rebel fan. This game is going to be such a blowout they didn't even put it on my football pool this week.

So what are we doing to celebrate? Well the theme is Mexifest. And how awesome is that going to be? I'm definitely going to need some partying in my system. I've been a little serious and concentrated lately. A regular working stiff.

So what is the best way to celebrate my birthday? That's today's HNT. It was taken last year at a game. There may be a French term to describe it, but I'm not sure.

Needless to say I was one happy camper.

Well, Hotty Toddy ladies and gentlemen! In case I don't post anything tomorrow, have a great weekend and don't get none on ya.

If you're playing HNT, let Obasso know. And tell your bookie you want to take Georgia and the points!!!


Letter to Terri

There was an email that I received several months ago. I had actually forgotten about it until I was deleting old earlier. I have to share this with you. Enjoy:

Sometimes it becomes difficult to just "let go" of old relationships. As an example, read on about the following guy, who writes to his ex-wife of more than fifteen years. It will bring tears to your eyes. Really.

Dear Terri:

I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I didn't want to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride has cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore.

I don't care who makes the first move, as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says..."There's no one like you, Terri."

I look for you in the eyes of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at the Rainbow Room and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation.

She was young, Terri, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Breasts you wouldn't believe and a back porch like a tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right?

But as I sat on the couch looking at the top of her head, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, even if it does, you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Terri? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought like that before. I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little.

Later, after she'd left, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her shameless hunger, but something else. Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete?And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there, Terri, to watch. Do you know that I mean? Nothing feels the same without you, baby.

Jesus, Terri, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you. Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at church? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story. Anyway, we have a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're in our old bedroom. And she was giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she's not hung up about God and her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden she spotted that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she put it on the floor and we straddled it, you know, so we could watch ourselves. And it was totally hot, but it made me sad, too. Because I couldn't help thinking, "Why didn't Terri ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for about 14 years, and we never used it as a sex aid."

You know what I mean? What happened to our spontaneity? You get so caught up in the routine of a marriage and you just lose sight of each other. And then you lose yourself. That's the saddest part of all for me.

But I keep thinking we can get it back. I know we can, because I only want to do this stuff with you. Saturday, your sister dropped by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Shannon's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders. She's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in general. (She's pulling for us to get back together, Terri. She really is.)

So we were drinking in the hot tub and talking about happier times. Here was this attractive girl with the same DNA as you (although, let's be honest, she got an extra helping of the "sexy" gene), and all I could think of how much she looks like you did when you were 27. And that just about made me cry. And then it turned out Shannon's really into the whole anal thing, and that started me thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm discovering this whole new side of your sister, all I can do is think of you? It's true, baby. In your heart you know it.

Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances and start fresh? I think we can. I keep thinking that if you'd just try it, I wouldn't have to pressure you so much. Because who needs all that bitterness, Terri? It just tears us apart. And I can't be apart from you.

Because I love you.


I'm Back

So I know it’s been a while. Sorry. I’ve been busy and/or out of town. Plus I always try not to blog too much when I’m pissed off. Now what could be pissing me off? Hmm…oh yeah, Ole Miss football sucks. But I’ve stuck through worse. One of the constant problems I have to deal with is people who pull for other schools going through similar problems talking trash. What do I mean? Well some people who read my blog don’t like me rooting for my team on here. They whine and complain and mock. Look go root for your own team in your own arena.
The actual problem here is that over time I will begin to resent their jealousy of my faithful devotion to my university and its athletic endeavors. I don’t want to take it out on other fans of their teams. That would be unfair. But I do find that I am becoming more of an ass to people when I find out they root for Team A when Team A happens to be one of the teams that these jealous people root for. So I’m actually going to use the FU Friday that I missed last week today.

FU to all the folks who don’t like my faithful elegance to my team. If you don’t like it, stop reading. Go somewhere else. Losers.

By the way, does anyone know who this chick is? She is hot. Is it Heidi Klum?

Ok, next topic. (yes this is going to be a long post because I haven’t done one in a while)
Man we suck in football. We still beat Memphis, but we lost to Kentucky and Wake Forest. I can’t believe that. World around the campfire is that we are still in our rebuilding stages from the lackluster recruiting years of David Cutcliffe’s final stint as head coach at Ole Miss. Basically we have no depth and we are injured from one end of the team to the other. The reasons keep piling on. The long and short of it is we’re not going to do well this year. Worse than I had thought at the beginning of the season, but we should still get experience for all of our young guys. A few more years of good recruiting to add depth to our team will really help. I’m not going to waiver in my faithful devotion to Ole Miss. I’ll “keep drinking the kool aid.”

Next topic, the game this past weekend. I went to tailgate and never stepped foot in the stadium. The bottom dropped out before kickoff. Luckily we packed up everything before the heavy stuff came down. The brother, Two-odd, Yankee, and Yankee’s crazy girl stayed. As the folks drove off the heavy stuff fell. We took shelter under a porch at the old observatory. You could hear the announcer on the PA through the rain and thunder: “Leave the stadium! Seek shelter! You can come back later with your ticket stub. Do not go to the Grove!” They were serious. There were lightning strikes all over. We stayed there about 20 minutes. The rain kept getting worse. I finally said “forget this, let’s go back to Memphis.” And you know what, it wasn’t that bad of a drive. But the rain kept falling in Oxford. We finally got back to our parents’ house. I unloaded my truck. We unloaded their stuff. Hung up the tents that got wet. Did a few more things. I left. I was halfway home when the game finally started. I am really glad I didn’t stay. I would have kept drinking in the rain. Then gone to a game in the rain. I would have probably gotten sick and been very drunk. But would I have had more fun than going home and watching Notre Dame/Mich St and Kentucky/Florida? Probably, but I did get more sleep this way. And I felt great Sunday. Want to know how much it was raining. This is a couple of students walking back in the rain to Fraternity Row from the Grove. He was being a gentleman and letting her use the umbrella. But to be honest, in that much rain, it doesn't help. And you can tell he's young, he's not covering his drink well enough to keep the rain out. If he was smart, he'd hold it behind her back so she can block the rain.

Oh yeah! Thanks to Scotty Too Hotty for stopping by. He made the long trek to the tent to say hey.

Next topic: this coming weekend is the Georgia at Ole Miss game. I'll just say it. Georgia is going to kill us after almost losing to Colorado this weekend. They are going to be mad. I say take Georgia and the points if you're a betting man. In the meantime, our theme is Mexifest and birthday hilarity. Who's birthday? I don't know...or I won't say...or whatever. Anywho, Mexifest before an 8PM game. That's a lot of margaritas, beer, and mexican food. This doesn't sound like a good mixture. Actually...it sounds like a great one. If any of my friends would like to come by the tent, you should already have the directions that I emailed you. It would be nice if some folks who plan on staying a while bring booze and/or food (hint hint). Actually it would be nicer if you bring several attractive young ladies with you. Think of it as a birthday present to me. But I know I'll have a huge group of old college friends stop by. Spilly and Jules are flying in Friday afternoon. We are going out Friday night in Memphis before heading down Saturday. We are crashing somewhere in Oxford Saturday night. Evil Howard is supposed to be in town too. I think JKY is here. Don't know about Kevy though. Watkins may make another surprise visit.

Next to last topic: you crazy bitches, what the hell is wrong with you? I took this pic on the way to work one day last week.

I watched as the woman who owned the car stood next to it while the smoke started coming out. She was talking on her cell phone to one of her girlfriends. Then the smoke got worse. She stayed on the phone looking at the smoke and yapping to her girlfriends about God knows what. Then the flames started as I drove past. She stood there on the phone pointing at it. I really wanted to shout “get a f*cking fire extinguisher, you moron!” But I didn’t. I figured she needed all her concentration for the conversation. This took place in the course of one red light at East Parkway and Central.

If you look close enough you can see the flames under the car. By this point she had somehow gotten out of the view. I don't know where she went, but she's not there in the pic.

Last Topic. I promise. No seriously, I promise this is it. This Thursday the Memphis Ducks Unlimited Committee is hosting our annual membership dinner. If anyone is interested in tickets we have a few left. Email me at memphisphilip@hotmail.com. I’ll get you the information. We are going to have some really great items up for the auctions.

I feel like I'm forgetting something. If I did, I'll never know.

Have a good one and don’t get none on ya.

Songs on the Playlist:
Led Zeppelin – Good Times Bad Times
Little Feat – Fat Man In The Bathtub
REM – Everybody Hurts
Jimmy Buffett – Someday I Want
Jerry Jeff Walker – What I Like About Texas
Steely Dan – Do It Again
David Bowie – Ziggy Stardust
The Black Crowes – She Talks To Angels

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