Quick notes

A few things I've learned lately:
- if you are into the whole "brunching" thing but you don't want to go to certain locations because they only have buffets and you don't want to serve yourself...you might be a little too high maintenance. You know who you are and you know I love you, but come down from your throne your majesties. A buffet is not beneath you.
- just because someone is "friends" with someone you know well on facebook, that does not give them an automatic character reference. Be careful.
- if you don't blog for a long time, most of your friends who read your blog will stop. When that happens you can start dishing stuff again. (I like that one)
- there should be a moratorium (sp?) on drama. Example: woman I know (won't say how or who, but you don't know her) has been telling me drama about some dude she met and had 1 date with. I think having to hear about your drama for three days where you won't do anything to stop the drama (or resolve it) is bullshite. You need to fix yo' life.
- if anyone ever tells you they are looking for an LTR on the first date, that's probably not a great sign. (Btw an LTR is a "long term relationship")
- if someone says they are Christian but keeps talking about their "witch" friends, run. Just run. I think that's pretty self explanatory.
- be wary of someone you have an entire conversation with (longer than 10 minutes) but he/she doesn't laugh or tell a joke. Probably not a fun person to be around. Generally they will have a one track mind. Seriously how does someone not laugh during a conversation. A social conversation. Especially when everyone else is still telling funny stories and laughing. Is there a proper way to call them out and say "Yo dude/chickie, you are allowed to laugh."
- you can put "dude" or "chickie" in a blog post, but if you slide that into polite conversation often, I will make fun of you.
- when you are on a first date with someone and all they can talk about is how much they can drink or how once every 2-3 months they get so drunk they fall and bust their nose open, they might be an alcoholic. They'll probably be fun to date for a bit, but I wouldn't go long term.
- being a Godfather rocks!
- if you put a pic of yourself with your Godchild on facebook expect everyone who isn't in touch with your life to think you're a new parent. Even if you put all the pics in a folder marked "My Godson"

That's all for now. I had some more social ones that I just can't remember all of a sudden.

Just remembered it!
- if you are worried about your appearance, maybe you should stop tanning yourself three times a week and walk your fat ass around the block a three times a week. Now that I work in Desoto County, I see all kinds of women who are REALLY out of shape and are terminally tan at the same time. I mean they are darker than my boots. Listen folks, tanning does not count as exercise. And no one is going to want to be with someone with the skin of a 45 year old when they are 30. Just putting it out there.


Polar Bear Plunges around Memphis

Are you looking for something really interesting that you've never done before? Might I recommend crack or meth. Not interested? Good, because I hate crack heads and meth heads. But here are two events that are similar in nature but in different areas of the city that might catch your eye. They are Polar Bear Plunges. Basically they are fundraisers for different causes where you the willing participant will jump into an outdoor body of water. Sound decent? Well this is in February. Yeah, it's going to be cold.

The first one is downtown at the 10th Annual Polar Bear Plunge and Chili Cook-off down at Mud Island River Park on Saturday Feb 7 at 2PM. It benefits the Torch Run for Special Olympics. You have a $50 entry fee. I believe you can raise the money by having people pledge X dollars so you'll go freeze your ass off for a quick dip in the Wolf River. But hey, don't worry, I'm sure the cold has killed/neutralized all pollutants that this fair city has dumped into the river.

The second is in Collierville at the YMCA at Schillings Farms out there. It's Feb 14 at 10:30AM. Of course that raises money to help the YMCA teach children how to swim (if families can't afford it, they will help cover the cost through fundraisers like this).

Take a look at those. They might be something you might want to try. I did the one in Collierville last year and had a blast. Of course I thought I'd be "Billy Badass" and it would be no big idea. Unfortunately for me, I was no badass. I jumped in and quickly had to rely on my instincts. I turned around and tried to get out of the pool as quickly as possible. But it was really badass. I am definitely doing it again. I recommend one or the other for you.

Speed Dating in Memphis or Nashville

Are you tired of the BS in the dating scene in Memphis? The immature people. The games. Probably not, but I did get this emailed to me by Rachelandthecity. So I thought I'd pass this along to all of my 5 remaining readers. I'm sure everyone remembers reading about the miracles of speed dating from a few years back before they just disappeared. No, you don't? Oh well, at least you remember it from The 40 Year Old Virgin. So if you're interested in meeting someone new OR you just want to tell everyone you meet that you're Dr. Mantlebaum or Gina ("Hey, sup?"), check this out: www.meetfundates.com.

I read the site and apparently it's for Memphis AND Nashville. There are 4 upcoming events in Memphis: Jan 28, Feb 7, Feb 11, and Feb 21.


Spalding! Noooooo!!!!

Last week I had a Caddyshack moment. I was swimming laps at the gym in "Cowtown" when I noticed the majority of the people in the pool were getting out. I didn't think anything of it and kept swimming my laps. Around the mile and half mark, a guy from the lane next to mine was standing on the edge of the pool motioning for me to stop for a second. He said that I probably would want to get out of the pool as someone got sick on the other side of the pool. I quickly climbed out of the pool and said absolutely. I didn't hear the lifeguard's whiste because I swim with ear plugs.
Anyhoo, as I am walking towards the sauna, I pass the lifeguard. I said "too bad someone threw up in the pool. How long until it reopens?" He said no one had thrown up in the pool, but some neglectful parent didn't put a diaper on their young child. He didn't go into any more specifics and really didn't need to. Some jackass parent didn't put their kid in a swimming diaper and the little tot left a "baby ruth" in the pool. Of course the lifeguard had fished it out with a bucket, but it really makes you wonder. Are people really this stupid? If your kid isn't potty trained yet, how can they just get into a pool or anywhere else without a diaper.
Anyway, I played the part of Spalding from Caddyshack: I didn't realize what was going on and kept swimming. The good news is that it was on the other side of the pool from where I was swimming laps and the lifeguard had already removed it from the pool. Kinda gross huh?


The Pages Practically Turned Themselves

So this year (2008) I spent a lot of time reading. Specifically I spent my lunch breaks reading. At the last job and the current job, I have an hour lunch break. I would usually go somewhere by myself and read while I ate my lunch. Some places are generally more conducive than others. But I was able to get a ton of books read. Most of them were books I had heard were good. Some I just knew I wanted to read them based on the subject matter.
The biggest influence on particular books that I chose to read were Drake and Zeke on 98.1 the Max. They discuss a lot of great books and writers. They even interview them. So I thought I would post a list of the books I read this year in no particular order.

Motley Crue The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band by Motley Crue members with Neil Strauss - kinda dated because it came out in 2002 before they got back together, still a great book though

(the autobiography) by Johnny Cash - great book, Johnny Cash is surprisingly honest about everything

Inside Delta Force: The Story of America's Elite Counterterrorist Unit
by Eric L. Haney - great read, not like other military books I have tried to read

Ghost Soldiers
and Blood and Thunder: The Epic Story of Kit Carson and the Conquest of the American West by Hampton Sides (Hampton is from Memphis and went to MUS for high school) - both are great reads. I highly recommend them.

The Sun Also Rises
by Ernest Hemingway - classic book, but it is very slow. I hated when there were conversations between characters and Hemingway would put line after line without saying who said what. If you weren't paying attention, you might get lost.

The Tao of Willie: A Guide to the Happiness in Your Heart
by Willie Nelson with Turk Pipkin - Absolutely great book. Definitely will give you the attitude that Willie has about life, love, and everything else.

Marley & Me
by John Grogan - yeah, I cried. If you read this book and don't cry, you have no soul. But beyond crying at the end, I laughed the whole way through the book. Great story even if you aren't a dog lover.

by Alan Lightman - a book that was recommended highly by Drake and Zeke. It's one of the first ones I read in 2008. Very weird, but very good.

Tales from Margaritaville
by Jimmy Buffett - I read it this summer. It's the third time I've read it. I just wanted a book that I didn't have to do much with when I read it. I think it was a long weekend at the lake. Still a good collection of short stories. Jimmy has a good imagination, but so much of it clicks back to his songs.

by Ronnie Wood - for those of you who don't know, Ronnie Wood is the rhythm guitarist for the Rolling Stones. I read this book and loved it. I was inspired to get this after reading Clapton by Eric Clapton at the end of 2007. Shortly after I finished this book, I saw on CNN.com that Ronnie had checked into rehab. After reading this book, I can understand why.

Chronicles: Volume 1
by Bob Dylan - Great book. It's not really a full autobiography. Bob takes points in his life and discusses them at length while invoking flashbacks to other times to give some backstory. Great read.

by Slash with Anthony Bozza - one of my favorite autobiographies I read this year. Really sheds light on the early days of Guns N' Roses. But what really stuck with me was the description of drug problems. The night he was doing 8 balls at a resort in Arizona after Use Your Illusion came out was unreal (not sure if he was still with GNR at that point). He remembers it with such clarity that you almost feel like you are there with him. Very honest but very disturbing at times. I highly recommend it for anyone looking for a rock and roll biography or autobiography.

Willie Nelson: An Epic Life
by Joe Nick Patoski - great book. Anyone who's been around me in December has probably heard me talk about Willie. I will say it gets old after a while when they are talking about different musicians. And since he's still playing and touring even though he's in his late 70s/early 80s, it is a long book. Really. It's 494 pages. There were times when I was reading about the 1970s and I thought it would never end. But this is a great book about a great American man, and I would recommend it for anyone who wants a good read.

The Road
by Cormac McCarthy - this is the last book I finished in 2008. It is phenomenal. My sister got it for me for Christmas. I was finished with it in two days. This is the same author who wrote No Country for Old Men and The Horse Whisperer so you know his general work. This is something I'm telling everyone to read. I would read it and really feel alone as I went along. Basic idea: it is a story about a man and his son trying to survive in a post apocalyptic world while walking down a road. Unbelievable. It is an amazing book. If you read just one book this year, definitely read this one.

So that's what I read this year. I may have left some off. If I realize it, I'll come back and add it later. I started Making Jack Falcone by Joaquin "Jack" Garcia. It is an autobiography of the second FBI agent to infultrate La Cosa Nostra. He infultrated the Gambino family in New York. Unbelievable read. I started it Monday and I am already on page 76. That's only from reading at lunch. It is a page turner.
Ok, that's enough for now. I'm going to get ready for NYE. Have a good one and get some on ya tonight.

(Editor's note) I completely forgot Boys Will Be Boys: The Glorious Days and Party Nights of the Dallas Cowboys Dynasty by Jeff Pearlman - Unbelievable. Those guys were insane. Rule one I have for this book: do not let your kids read it. Rule two: if your parents are over 60 and a little too wound up, don't let them read it either. This tells stories of hookers, drugs, more drugs, more hookers, nudity and self gratification during team meetings, etc. This will scare you for life. But it's still a great book


Tamales - An Xmas Tradition

(Editor's note: sorry, but I thought I posted this Christmas Eve.)

Years ago when I was in college, we went to San Antonio to visit my cousins for Christmas. Originally from Louisianna, they took to Texas like ducks to water. They picked up all kinds of little customs and what-nots. One thing they picked up was eating tamales on Christmas Eve after going to Church. Well we have picked up this tradition from them and brought it home. A few tamales and a few cold beers are always a great way to spend your Christmas Eve with family and close friends. Much better than a vegetable soup or something else like that. Of course being from Memphis, we prefer the Memphis/Mississippi Delta style of tamales. We as a family have been doing this for years now.

Earlier today I was explaining it to the girls at work. I mentioned Memphis/Mississippi Delta style hot tamales, and they had no idea what I was talking about. I was able to find two articles immediately online about this. One is from NPR and includes a link to a story they broadcast about it. The second is from Gourmet.com and is great. No one is certain how it came to the Delta, but I imagine

One of the best local places I ever found is in South Memphis at the South Memphis Grocery at Mallory Ave and Florida St. Obviously it's in South Memphis and isn't that safe, but the tamales are good to order and pick up. I've had the tamales at Blues City Cafe. They are pretty good. I wonder if there are a few other places that have good tamales around the city.


Hangover Season

The Times Online (Great Britain) recently published an article that was linked onto digg.com. It's about hangovers and hangover cures. Kind of makes me think of the best ways to cure/handle/survive hangovers. Here are some of my favorites (not that I necessarily use them all):

1. Morning Delights/Wakeup Nookie: I know tons of people who swear by this. But I think the severity of your (and your partner's) hangover might limit the abilities/willingness to participate in this. Plus you'll probably want to brush your teeth before anything starts. I don't know if it would be the release of endorphins or the fact that it's a physical activity that gets your blood flowing (which would tie it into the next item), but it's supposed to be a crowd favorite.

2. Exercise: some people swear that working out (specifically aerobic) really knocks it out of you. I know that it does work depending upon the degree of your hangover. This past Friday I went to Johnny K's annual Xmas bonanza and then stopped by the First Annual Soulburger Xmas where Absinthe was put in my hand. Needless to say, I was a little hungover Saturday. But I had to get to the gym quickly because I had a wedding in Arkansas at 5PM (that is a story for another time). I swam a mile and felt great afterwards. Of course I chugged a bunch of water before hand. I even remember one of the movies I saw in high school about Steve Prefontaine where he had partied hard the night before and then woke up at 6 to go run. Of course he yacked before he was more than 10 steps from his front door. But I had a buddy who bragged about running 6 miles Saturday before last after being up until about 4:30 at Raifords. I don't know where the correct ratio is between the workout cure and the hangover severity. But I'm not going to be the guinea pig to test it.

3. Hair of the Dog: I've heard for a long time about the "hair of the dog that bit you" cure. I have friends who say "the best detox is retox." There is some limited truth to this. I believe that this works only if you are doing a multiday party like BBQ Fest or if you are in college. If you go out on a work night and use this as a way to survive the next morning, you have a drinking problem.

4. Water, BC Powder/Aleve/Advil/etc. : Ahh...the complete doctor's health kick. The recovery answer. The health thyself method. Basically this encompasses anything that you do health wise. Gatorade falls into this category. It works, but how well is still up for debate because it takes more time to work than #3. But the benefit is you might live longer this way. Or at least your liver might.

5. Greasy food: Kinda the opposite of #4 but just as important and successful. Nothing like a greasy hamburger or pizza to calm your rumbling stomach. Mmm...greasy burger. I don't recommend a typical fast food burger like McDonald's. I recommend somewhere with a real burger like Huey's, E&H, Belmont Grill, etc.

6. Sleep: Enough said. Unless you're sleeping in on the weekend, you always say "I need more sleep." I know this has been my mantra for too long. Hell, I say this when I haven't been drinking.

Then I read an article that the Telegraph (another British newspaper) published also linked to digg.com, but this was about how beer goggles last longer for women then men. I think men lose theirs a few minutes after...

Anyway, so what are your favorite hangover cures? Oh wait, I never blog anymore so no one really reads this. So if you stumble upon this in July 2009, feel free to comment.


Random Songs from the Ipod

The following songs have been played on my Ipod while on random lately. These aren't all of them, but these are the ones that stand out.
Mike and the Mechanics - All I Need Is A Miracle
Stone Temple Pilots - Interstate Love Song
Psychedelic Furs - Love My Way (live)
The Grateful Dead - Attics of My Life
Joan Jett & the Blackhearts - Do You Wanna Touch Me? (Oh Yeah!)
Tone Loc - Funky Cold Medina
Dan Hartman - I Can Dream About You
Eminem - Guilty Conscience
Paul McCartney & Wings - Band on the Run
Prince - Gett Off
Bob Dylan - Obviously 5 Believers
Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
U2 - Mysterious Ways
Coldplay - In My Place
Jesus Jones - Right Here Right Now
Glenn Frey - The Heat Is On
Eazy E - Gimme That Nut
Lynyrd Skynyrd - Tuesday's Gone
The Beatles - If I Fell
Level 42 - Something About You
Huey Lewis & The News - Heart & Soul
Eddie Money - Shakin'
Donnie Iris - Ah! Leah!
Dexy's Midnight Runners - Come On Eileen

There's nothing particular about these songs other than I haven't had them come up in a while that I can think of. Just kinda random, but I like that mix.



So I've been doing the swim thing like I said. But I came home from work so tired on Monday and Tuesday of this week that I didn't go to the gym. Well I went yesterday for the first time this week and swam 99 laps. That's 3 miles. I'm a little tired today. And I still have to swim today and tomorrow. Ugh. But, I am doing this! I am probably going to take a quick nap or something. I just feel a little worn down at the moment. And of course the gumbo I just ate and watching football probably aren't helping.
Anyhoo, I'll probably go out tonight too. I don't know where I'm going, but I want to do something.

Oh yeah, how about those Rebels? Egg Bowl champs! Hotty Toddy baby!


A little tired, but very proud

So I am up way too early for a Saturday, but it's game day so I can't go back to sleep. In my last post I talked about the swimming deal I am doing at the Y. Well at that point, I had done week one and swam a total of 6 miles. Well during week two I lost my mind. I went Monday with the intention of swimming only Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday because I had plans Thursday through Sunday. That meant I would have to swim 2 miles each day. Well, I did it. That's right, I swam 2 miles (66 laps) on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Then I had the Mpact wine tasting Thursday night in Midtown so I decided to drive downtown and swim at that Y before going to the party. So that put me at mile 7 for the week. Pretty impressive. Friday night (i.e. last night) I had family in town and we were going to the Rendezvous for some ribs. Well I decided to swim a mile at the downtown Y again. That made it 8 miles. Yeah, 8 frickin' miles. I honestly can't believe I did it. But it looks like my schedule may be full next week so that'll throw me off pace. I'm glad I got these extra two miles in.

OK, I need to go hop in the shower. Have a good one and Go Rebels!


Keep It on the Tracks

So the YMCA is doing a "Keep on Track Through the Holidays" program in the aquatics area. You can choose one of three tracks and try to meet the swimming goal over the course of 15 weeks (Nov 2 through Feb 14):
1. Swim 1 mile per week totalling 15 by Valentines
2. Swim 3 miles per week totalling 45 by Valentines
3. Swim 6 miles per week totalling 90 by Valentines

I chose option 3. Yeah, 6 miles per week. If I swim only 3 days in a week, I have to do 2 miles (66 laps according to the chart) per day. I prefer to swim 4 miles and only do 1.5 miles (49.5 laps). After the completion of the first week, I have done 6 miles and lost about 4.5 lbs. Of course unhealthy eating over the weekend (or maybe drinking) packed 2 lbs back on this morning, but none the less, I'm back to it.

This past Friday we had our Ptolemy Fall Party. I posted the pics on Facebook, but I'll come back and post them here along with some Halloween ones whenever I take the time.

Have a good one and don't get none on ya.


Ted, Strange Things Are Afoot at the Circle K

So last night I went to Ruthie's birthday party at Colleen's house. There was an eclectic group of people there to celebrate her (age unpublished at time of print) birthday. Due to several crazy things last night I proclaimed that I would actually blog about this.
Some were people she knew professionally and some socially. A large contingent of partygoers were watching the LSU at South Carolina football game. We were all intermingling while some people would leave to grab beer for a few people every so often. At one point Scottie Too Hottie and I were watching the game while discussing who-knows-what when this guy walked up and engaged us in a politely awkward conversation (we'll call him "dude" and imagine him with a French accent because that's how it was):
Dude: Are you watching the game?
Us: Uh, yeah.
Dude: I was wondering if I could change the channel.
Me: What do you want to watch?
Scottie Too Hottie: I bet he wants to watch Sex and the City.
Dude: Why would you think I would want to watch Sex and the City?
Me: We don't. He was just messing with you dude. So what do you want to watch?
Dude: I want to watch the UFC fight. I assume that you are not UFC fans.
Me: Well not on a Saturday during college football season.
At this point he left the conversation. He had a strong French accent, or so I thought (I later found out that he's Turkish or something). We were both taken aback. We paused before looking at each other and simultaneously asking "what the F was that about?" We passed this funny tale around among several friends in the immediate vicinity. While we were all basking in the crazy moments that had just passed, "dude" walked back into the room and started pushing buttons on remotes. At this point the crowd had enough. "Hey man" "What do you think you're doing?" "We're watching that."
After not finding the remote for the cable box, dude left the room only to return with Colleen. She helped him find the remote despite the general protests of...well everyone. He put it on the UFC fight. I left the room to grab a beer before I got really pissed off. When I came back the game was back on and Colleen was explaining how she couldn't understand what he wanted due to his (oddly generic European?) accent. She is one of those people who is too nice to tell someone a flat out no, so we didn't really fault her.
The majority ruled for the rest of the game. After the game was over, people left the TV room and dude ran to change the tv to the UFC fight. I went and hung outside for a while. I later went back in and hung out with dude to give him the benefit of the doubt. He is a big UFC fan as well as an ultimate fighter trainee. He was actually a nice guy. I guess that he just didn't know how to approach the situation. Still kinda funny.

Later on, I was outside when I witnessed a friend in trouble. While I was telling a funny story, she was being trapped by a poor, highly inebriated woman. She kept looking to our group where her boyfriend stood blissfully unaware of what was going on (sorry, dude, but it's true). Anywho, I walked over and offered to get them a beer (and my friend an out of the situation). I was quickly told that they were fine. While my friend was sitting there in horror, the poor drunk girl was leaning in a little bit further and further as she obviously conveyed what tough times she is going through or whatever. After a while, I went inside and found a friend of the second girl and mentioned that maybe she should go out there in a few minutes to pull the reins of her friend. The brother knew better he went to this girl and told her that she needs to take care of her friend before she really embarassed herself. She did this properly of course, and DG was taken home.

After the party had officially wound down, I went with the Brother, Natalie, Colleen, and Natalie from out of town to the Blue Monkey. It was a fun but rather uneventful time. There were stories shared and laughs among all of us. One funny thing was this girl in a Janis Joplin coat and a bare midriff playing pool. The immediate feelings around the table were along the lines of shock and awe before everyone agreed that she had the confidence and abs to pull it off.

The best part of our time at the Blue Monkey was the discussion about phone numbers. I'm not sure how it came up exactly, but one of the girls made the comment that her phone number in her dorm spelled 678-DORK. The brother said that his phone number spelled HOT-LOVE. The girls didn't fully believe it. I said "oh yeah, it's completely true." I explained the story about how we found out:
"We were at the tent for an Ole Miss game when one of our sister's friends was putting his number in her phone. When she finished, she sat quietly for a few minutes while the rest of us continued to chat and party. Suddenly, she said 'OMG, your phone number is HOT-LOVE.' She proceeded to tell us that she has this thing where she figures out what people's numbers spell out."
After I told the girls at the Blue Monkey this story, they believed that the Brother's phone number does in fact spell HOT-LOVE. Umm...I have a confession: it was a complete on the spot BS story. I made it up right then and there.
Girls, I'm sorry but when you each had that look of complete belief in such an obviously fake story, I couldn't come clean then. It's still funny as hell to me though.

Have a good one.


Soooooooooo y eah

This is what the Romans call a drunk post. Tonight/today was an anniversary for a familial unit. That's why I blew off the Ptolemy member party AND the Ducks Unlimited meeting. So here I am after two and half bottles of wine and a few beers feeling quite good. I want to bitch about things, but I don't have anything to complain about now. So let's talk positive.
Tomorrow night is the muthafunking Phoenix Club's second annual muthafunking Luau Party. Saturday night is the Spirit of SRVS wine and beer tasting fundraiser. If I'm not at them, then a bigger, better deal has been found. But I doubt it.

Anywho, if you need some tickets, go to the Phoenix Club webiste and order some. Use me as your Phoenix contact.


Olympic Triathlons

I've been banging my head against the wall trying to figure out when and where I can watch the Olympic triathlon races. It's so difficult to navigate through all the online stuff at nbcolympics. Well through msn I finally found when the women's and men's triathlons come on TV and where. Hopefully this will stay accurate:

The women's triathlon will be shown between 9PM and 11PM Central (my) time on Sunday August 17th on NBC Channel 5. I'm sure I won't be able to watch the entire race because they'll cut away to something boring like synchronized diving or swimming.

The men's triathlon will take place at 9PM Central on Monday August 18th. I don't think it's going to be shown on Channel 5 and I can't find where it will be shown on TV. It's getting pre-empted by other events like women's beach volleyball (which I watch), track and field events (which I may watch), and I have no idea what else. But since we have a better chance of winning gold in the women's than the men's, it's better to watch that I guess. It may be shown on MSNBC between 11AM and 4PM Central on Tuesday August 19th. Hmm...I guess I'll just TIVO that.

Another Race Done - FitCity Triathlon Recap

Yesterday was the FitCity Triathlon at Herb Parsons Lake. I'm not sure exactly where it is though. Everything I saw said it was just north of Collierville, TN. But there were paramedics and sheriffs on hand from Fayette County (they always have paramedics at these races just as a precaution). After thinking it over, I think we spent part of the race in Shelby County and part in Fayette County.
Anyway, it was a lot of fun, except the hills on the bike were killer. I have been working on my biking and it still whooped me...ok, it flat kicked my ass. They advertised the race as a 1/2 mile swim, 23 mile bike ride (road), and 4 mile trail run. Let me tell you when I hit that 23rd mile on the bike and didn't see the park or anyone else, I thought I was lost. Turns out it was a 24 mile bike ride, and after I went so hard and fast on miles 22 and 23, I had hardly any energy left for mile 24. It was brutal and mostly uphill. I was about to turn around when I came around a corner in the woods and saw a family there. They cheered me on and said the park was around the next corner. I don't know how I kept going, but I did. Now I forgot my ankle brace so I didn't really run much on the trails which is good because I almost rolled my left ankle twice.

Here's the breakdown of my times:

First there was the half mile swim in the lake where you jumped in with a 5 second stagger start from a dock. Very weird but very fun. You had the option of diving or jumping. It was at a weird angle, but I dove anyway and passed the two in front of me in no time. My time was 17:09 which placed me 4th out of my bracket, Male Clydesdales all ages (Clydesdales are men who weigh over 200 lbs). There were 14 Male Clydesdales overall.

I had the longest transition 1 time out of my bracket with 4:55, but that's fine because that's better than what I did in the last one where I was 8:18.

On the bike I was 13th out of my group with 1:26:31 with a 16.78 average mph. That's good for me because in my last race, my average was 13.3 for a shorter distance. So my bike training has really worked for me lately.

My transition 2 time was 5:03. I still need to take off a few minutes, but I did take a hammergel nutrition pack and had to chug a bunch of water with it. By the way, the Banana flavored Hammer Gel tastes like monkey butt (the chocolate tastes bad too). I would have gone with my standard strawberry-banana flavored GU Gel which I like, but I went to the Ptolemy Prospective Member Party Friday night and had a few beers instead of being responsible and replenishing my stock of GU and electrolyte pills that I used up in bike training. Wow that was a long sentence that said probably nothing you cared about. If you don't like it, bite me.

On the run, I really walked a bunch because I was exhausted and every time I came to a water station they were out of water mostly. Plus my legs were killing me from the bike for the first two miles of the run. I was only able to start jogging again in the third and fourth miles. My time was 48:14 which I think is pathetic. I need to do a few things so I can start running a lot. I need to get some new damn custom inserts to prevent my shin splints from flairing up whenever I try to run. Anyway, I was 12th in my bracket in the run.

I like to look at my triathlons as a competition against myself. I tend to start competing during the race with people around me, but that's stupid. So I'm looking at a similar race for comparison from last year when I weighed less and was (supposedly) in better shape than I am now: the 2007 Tupelo King of the Hill. The King of the Hill was 1/2 mile swim, 22 mile bike ride, and 3.6 mile road run. I'm not really looking at the run as much because my legs cramped up bad last year due to dehydration. Anyway, here's the comparison
SWIM FC 17:09 / KH 15:55
T1 FC 4:55 / KH 6:58
BIKE FC 1:26:31 (16.78 avg mph) / KH 1:42:04 (12.94 avg mph)
T2 FC 5:03 / KH 2:49
RUN FC 48:14 / KH 45:19

It really looks like I have improved a lot. Especially on the bike where I was faster while covering more miles than the King of the Hill (and the Mighty Mite which was only 13 miles). So here are my goals to work on before next season starts:
1. Improve transition time
2. Improve running ability (i.e. get shoe inserts to prevent shin splints)
3. Continue to improve biking performance
Unfortunately this is really the end of triathlon season for me. I may do a few bike races or run races throughout the rest of the year, but football season is almost upon us and that means my weekends are about to be filled with partying. Then it hunting season and xmas party season. So it's going to be a while until the spring races start.

Have a good one and get off your lazy ass.


Thank you, Paul Ryburn!

Downtown Paul, he of the more-urban-than-you crowd, has done a great service to this town. Hell, he's done a great service to most every town. He has built an online store for sexy Halloween costumes for (here's the best part) women. It's called Skank-O-Ween. I know you see several sexy women in sexy outfits at every Halloween party, but I have heard from many lady friends that its just to hard to find a mass collection of them to browse.

Here's an official salute to a man who has brought this town so many memorable things like Tube Tob Month:



Umm...no comment

I've watched "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" recently. It's a great flick. I love the line when Mandy (Allison Eastwood) first meets John Kelso (John Cusack):
Mandy: Are you thirsty?
John: No.
Mandy: Well, if you're thirsty, a drink will cure it. If you not, a drink will prevent it. Prevention is always better than a cure. Don't you think?

Such a classic. It's so true although it doesn't just roll off the tongue.

Anyway, I'm really stalling for time. I'm putting off going to sleep because I'm wide awake. But I need to sleep...bad.

Screw it. I'm turning off the computer and closing my eyes. G'night.
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