This Weekend - Art on Tap & Papa Tops at Newbys

Are you looking for something to do this weekend in Memphis? Well I'm not. I'll be at the lake relaxing. But there are two things going on that I know of.

TONIGHT
ART ON TAP AT THE DIXON
Pay $20 for a beer tasting. This is full of the beautiful people of Memphis. And the not-so beautiful people too. I know of several people who are going. I haven't been in two years due to extenuating circumstances. But it is always fun. Take a cab.
Say hi to HM. He'll be working it probably.

Saturday Night: I'm actually pissed I'm going to miss this. Papa Top always rocks.

I'm headed west! Yall have a good weekend and remember: Don't get none on ya!

Douchebag Defined

I have defined a few things on here. One thing I have not yet defined is a douchebag. So I'm going to borrow this definition. Granted it is a very specific definition, but it is a good guide to use.
One thing I would like to point out. It says "2x too small pink American Eagle shirt." Pink shirts do not make you a douchebag. Actually they really say "I know what looks good and I don't give a rat's ass what you think." BUT wearing a pink shirt that is two sizes too small does. AND wearing a pink undershirt with it confirms the high degree of douchebag.

For more examples of DOUCHEBAGS, go to LeeHotti.com

FU Friday - Ole Miss Football edition, issue 2

Last week my FU Friday helped lead my Ole Miss Rebels to victory over the Memphis Tiggers. This week we have another Tiger team as we head north to Mizzou. Unfortunately I will not be attending the game. I will be watching it at the lake. We are celebrating Dad's birthday as a family. I think there may be a few cigars involved.

Anywhoo, this week I dedicate another FU Friday to our Ole Miss Rebels as I say

FUCK YOU MIZZOU
Sorry Kellie Ann. I know you pull hard for your tiggers and love them, but this is my blog. I have just one question for you...

ARE YOU READY?

HELL YES!

DAMN RIGHT!

HOTTY TODDY,

GOSH A'MIGHTY,

WHO THE HELL ARE WE? HEY!

FLIM FLAM

BIM BAM

OLE MISS BY DAMN!

Rockstar Supernova Elimination Show Recap 9/6/06

If you are looking for the Half Nekkid Thursday post, it is the next one down. Or click here to go straight to it.

Ok here’s a quick recap of last night’s elimination show. I’m not going into a long in depth look because I fast forwarded through most of it.

Supernova picked Magni to sing with them on the FOURTH UNRELEASED SUPERNOVA SONG. Yeah. Whoopie-de-doo! :P Can you tell I'm enthusiastic? I really wasn’t that impressed and then I fast forwarded through most of it. Now Magni did play guitar on it and that worked for it. But that was about it.

Then they picked Toby for the encore on his original song. And he won a “tricked out” Honda Ridgeline.
I wonder if winning the car on this show will be like the curse for Survivor (another Mark Burnett reality show). For those of you who don’t know. When it gets down to the end of the competition, the folks on Survivor compete to win a care and a badass getaway. Well for the last 10+ seasons of Survivor, whoever has won the car has not won the game. I wonder if that curse carries over to Rockstar:Tommy Lee’s Unit.

Then it was time for the bottom three. And everyone was in jeopardy. First up was Storm Large who sang “Wish You Were Here” by Pink Floyd in dedication to her mom. It was a great performance. Too mellow to keep her in the game (maybe she was ready to use that as a way to bow out of the competition?). But she was crying in the end. Then the camera cut over to Jason Newstead and he was crying. Wait, didn’t this guy used to be in Metallica. From the late 80s until the late 90s? And he’s friggin crying? I’m all about a good cry. Don’t get me wrong. But you don’t do it on international TV if you used to be in Metallica. I still respect the guy and all, but that might not have been the best thing for his image.

Dilana Smith was next and sang…I forget what she sang. Probably because it sucked. Oh yeah! She sang a punk rock version of Cheap Trick’s “I Want You To Want Me.” And I didn’t like it. That’s a great song, and she really f’ed it up. But it was upbeat which shows she actually wants to win this as opposed to Storm who (in my opinion) has gotten all the exposure she wanted from this show. Oh yeah, Dilana had the big bouncer guy carry her out into the audience onto a platform.

Last was Lukas Rossi, our Canuck Lemur King. He sang his original song “Headspin” again. I think it was a basic example of his attitude that Gilby Clarke touched on the other day (see the webisode spoiler). The attitude basically is that Lukas does just enough to get by because he is Lukas. That takes balls. I really hope he doesn’t win though. I would not, I REPEAT NOT, buy a Rockstar album if he wins. To be perfectly honest, I won’t buy one anyway, but I will be swayed further away from purchasing one if he wins.

In the end, Tommy “The Tripod” Lee pussed out and made Jason be the new hatchet man to send a rocker home. Ok, apparently Tommy has a huge wang, but small balls. Anywho, they cut Storm. Which sucks because we can’t watch her perform next week. But on the plus side, she doesn’t have the albatross around her next that is…SUPERNOVA.

What did you think of the show?
Actually what do you think:
1. Is it a blessing or a curse to win this show and front Supernova?
2. Will they actually finish the tour before Tommy Lee shades out?
3. Is Dave Navarro shooting himself in the proverbial foot by taking his new band, The Panic Channel, on tour with Supernova?
4. Which former rocker will front the House Band on the tour?
5. Exactly how much is the House Band going to overshadow Supernova?
6. And how lame is a "tricked out" Honda Ridgeline?

HNT - Just a towel?

Happy HNT yall. The question is: am I wearing a bathing suit under this towel or not? Hmm...Here's a little background. I went to the gym last night after work. I got to the gym and weighed 202 lbs. I swam laps, got in the sauna, and the whirlpool. When I was finally done, I weighed 198.5 lbs. Holy crap! I think I can really reach my weight-loss goal for next month (185 lbs by my Oct 4 birthday).

Happy HNT yall

Rockstar Supernova Performance Show Recap 9/5/06

So last night was the performance show. In case you didn’t read my spoiler or watch the webisode, they showed a little behind the scenes stuff. They even showed Dilana’s comment about her song being a “screw you” to the fans who vote online. Yet, I never heard the “boos” from the audience. Whatever. On to the performances! They had sets to perform: each rocker did a cover song, had a moment to interact/entertain the audience, and sing an original song. INXS never did that last year. I think that’s a good thing.

Dilana Smith was first up, and we watched her be carried to the stage as Brook Burke explained that Dilana had torn her calf muscle during practice that day. What was she doing to tear her calf muscle? What was she “practicing?” We assume that it was the rehearsal with the house band, but you never know. She’s really been destructive the last few weeks:
- screwing up her chances
- breaking a wine glass by the pool
- tearing her calf muscle
She needs to tone it down a few notches. Anywho, her song was a rearranged version of The Who’s “Behind Blue Eyes.” I thought she did a good job. It wasn’t the train wreck I was expecting. Then she sang her original called “Supersoul.” Dave Navarro didn’t like the original. Tommy Lee did (he just likes chicks who are all tatted up and pierced too many times). Gilby Clarke said that much like in the song writing clinic she is too literal, but other than that he liked her performance.

The next rocker was the Icelandic madman, Magni. He came out with The Beatles “Back in the USSR.” It was pretty good, but not overwhelming. He seemed very relaxed, kinda like he was going through the motions. His original was called “When the Time Comes,” and he had to actually translate it from Icelandic. I thought the performance on the original was better than the cover.

Storm Large ran on stage next to cover David Bowie’s “Suffragette City.” Apparently she wasn’t the only person who was running up there as Dave Navarro shocked her and everyone there by running up there to play guitar. Did anyone else think that her all black outfit fit the song because it made her look a little androgynous? The song was written back in Bowie’s androgynous days after all. She introduced her original song as “What the What is Ladylike.” As opposed to her original title for the non-PG version: “What the Fuck is Ladylike.” I liked it live. I listened to it on her myspace page the other day, but this was really good. Afterwards Dave said that he has played with some of the best frontmen of bands in the world and playing with her felt like he was with a true frontman. And he said that was the best original of the two seasons of the show. That says a lot.

Lukas Rossi was up next with a very stripped down version of Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer.” He was on guitar in the spotlight and the keyboard player was in the shadows. I thought it was a great version EXCEPT HE KEPT GARGLING HIS WORDS. I really am beginning to hate that. Next was his original song called “Headspin.” He said it was about his mother. It was pretty good I thought.

Toby Rand popped up next. Our favorite Aussie sang The Killers “Mr. Brightside.” Did anyone else think that he sounded just like the studio version of the song. I mean his voice was spot-on. As awesome as that was, his original song “Throw It Away” was a thousand times better. I think he may get the encore again. He was the only rocker that left the stage this week. He was all over everywhere. He was up on the stage for the judges for a while. Tommy Lee got up and grabbed his butt. Toby looked back but never faltered. I really think he’s taken over the lead after Dilana screwed the pooch (figuratively, you perverts!). Toby’s song was also the only one that was a real sing along.

Here’s my guess for the bottom three based on performance only:
Dilana
Magni (even though I liked his performance)
Lukas

I really think that Toby and Storm had the two best performances. Toby was just that much better though.

Instead of showing the bottom three after the initial voting, the producers showed the order from most votes to least. Here it is:
1. Toby
2. Lukas
3. Magni
4. Storm
5. Dilana

I think the voting public is full of idiots if they keep Lukas that high.
What did you think?

Rockstar Supernova Spoiler 9/5/06

Ok first thing's first. I've been wondering when Gilby was in Guns N' Roses. So I hopped on Wikipedia and found his bio. Turns out he replaced Izzy on rhythm guitar in 1991 and was fired by Axl in 1994. The only album he was on was "The Spaghetti Incident?" which was nothing more than a chance for Axl to screw up other people's music (with a few exceptions). Read the bio for more.

Post Elimination Show:
The rockers came back to the mansion after Ryan Star was kicked off. They toasted Ryan. They then got into a food fight with cake and champagne. Someone said "who wants to get in the pool and they all did...except Lukas I think. He went upstairs and put on more makeup while the rest of them hung out. What a pretty boy. Seriously dude, you don't have to wear makeup 24-7. (Besides it's kinda fruity) On a more upbeat note, most everyone jumped in while in their same clothes. Storm streaked. Unfortunately they didn't show it on the webisode.
Dilana talked about how she has to bring it after she forgot some of the words to her last song: the Talking Heads' "Psycho Killer." Magni, in an interview with the show, said that up until this point, Dilana has never messed up. Now that she has, we will see her true side and how good she is. Good point.

Songwriting Clinic:
The day after the elimination show, the rockers got a chance to hear a new Supernova song that didn't have any words. They each got to write words to the song and go through a one on one songwriting clinic with Gilby.
Storm Large went first and sounded good. Gilby liked it. (I didn't take many notes on this as it was a boring one on one. i.e. she came prepared and there's not much to report)
Magni said that it was hard to write in a second language because he always thinks his words sound like crap. But when he hears someone else's song, he realizes that theirs sounds worse. Gilby said he was disappointed with Magni's lyrics and had to give him the title.
Lukas Rossi came in next. He admitted he focused mostly on the first verse and "couldn't get out of the box for the second." Gilby said he liked how Lukas didn't take the easy way with the lyrics and melody in the first verse. But, and this is a big but, Gilby noted how came with only the first verse and chorus thinking "in typical Lukas fashion, he could get by. And that's getting annoying. And I had to do more songwriting with him" than the others. Ouch. That's not helping your chances there Lukas. Gilby said that Lukas is his own worst competition.
Toby Rand came in next with "a fresh new approach and energy. That's an energy that we (Supernova) need" as Gilby said. Gilby said that Toby was the most complete of the rockers. In comparison with Lukas, he said Toby is listening to the whole package (each song to find a common thread) while Lukas is listening to each song individually. Basically Lukas is missing the forest for the trees while Toby sees both. I really hope this leads to Lukas being kicked out.
Dilana Smith came in next with her song titled "Metamorphosis Lizard Skin." Seriously? You're kidding me right? Does she think she's the second coming of Jim Morrison or something? Those were my initial thoughts before she began explaining it to the camera. She said it was to the fans who vote in a "screw you kinda song." That's an exact quote. If they put that on tonight's show, she will lose more votes. Anywho she said she was having trouble with the lyrics. She had a melody, but couldn't get whole verses. Just a few words and phrases. Gilby said her lyrics were really cliched. He said it was her best work so far but very cliched. He went on to say that she is way too literal with a small imagination. Dilana later said that she never thought song writing would be a big part of this. "I came in here auditioning as a singer."

Song Selection:
When the song selection started, there was only one fight. It was between Lukas and Dilana over The Who's "Behind Blue Eyes." They went back and forth with neither one bending. Magni held up the Bon Jovi song and basically said "I think Lukas can do this." Lukas said "you want me to do Bon Jovi?" Basically saying I think you're trying to get me to step on a landmine. Magni came back with (paraphrase) "I think Lukas is the only who can take this and kick ass with it." He basically stroked Lukas's ego so he'd take it. Well, Lukas ended up with Bon Jovi's "Living On A Prayer." Guess what, he's going to rework it. Go figure right? He is really starting to bore me. Dilana ended up with "Behind Blue Eyes." Turns out she's never heard it before. How the hell have you never heard that? I hope these are two train wrecks.
The other songs available were "Back in the USSR" by The Beatles, "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers, and one other I didn't catch.
On top of these songs, there was a letter to the rockers. It said they will have a set to do. One cover and one original song. And they have to entertain the audience in between the songs.
We got a preview of Storm's song. The producers said the title was "Lady Like." Storm said on camera that it was "What the Fuck Is Ladylike?" I like her title better. She also said that she's felt like she's been forced over the last few weeks to dress sexier than the way she usually is. She says she going back to who she is. Btw I just listened to "Ladylike" on the Storm and The Balls myspace page. It's pretty good. A whole lotta F-bombs. I know the producers will love that. But it's pretty damn good.
The last thing that they really showed was Dilana practicing with the band on "Behind Blue Eyes." And she's trying to rearrange the song. The keyboard player of the House Band said that is really ignorant to rearrange a song you've never heard. And that's what she's trying to do. Then in the last interview she said "I've made so many mistakes that I'm going to have to win back my fans. I have to." This is my rebuttal to that statement:
During song writing clinic you wrote a Supernova song that basically said "screw you" to the fans IN YOUR OWN WORDS. AND you admitted that on camera.
If that info gets out, you're really not going to get many votes.

So that's the spoiler for tonight's show. Enjoy. I'll post the recap after I watch the show. Here are a few questions that should be answered in tonight's show:
1. Can Lukas make Bon Jovi his own?
2. Can Dilana do a decent job rearranging a song she's never heard before?
3. Can Dilana win back her fans AND say "screw you" to them at the same time?
4. Will they ever put Lukas in the bottom three so we can see exactly how much Supernova likes or dislikes him?
5. And Storm, "what the fuck is ladylike?"

Songs on the Playlist:
Soft Cell - Tainted Love
R.E.M. - Man On The Moon
The Beatles - Love Me Do
Cowboy Mouth - Irish Boy
Johnny Cash - Darlin' Companion
Journey - Any Way You Want It
Dave Matthews Band - Dreaming Tree
The B-52's - Rock Lobster
The Charlie Daniels Band - The South's Gonna Do It Again
Weezer - Hash Pipe
Led Zeppelin - Over The Hills And Far Away

Dove Hunting and Ole Miss Football - what a great weekend

Well Hotty Toddy, bitches! Our Ole Miss Rebels beat YOUR Memphis Tigers Sunday in Oxford, MS, (aka God’s Country) in the great sport that is college football. That’s right: I’m from Memphis, but I don’t pull for the Tigers. Sorry. They have too many asshole fans who talk smack all year long and then disappear…well after we beat them. Now I do have a lot of friends who are gracious Tiger fans. They don’t talk smack. I can carry a conversation with them. They are intelligent. Then there are your typical, run of the mill fans who never went to that school, but they “bleed” grey and blue (the Tigers’ colors) and will constantly tell you how much you suck just because you don’t pull for their team. Wait, every school has those fans (especially Tennessee).

Anywho, I had a great weekend. Friday night I got ready to dove hunt on Saturday. Saturday came and I went to Tunica in the afternoon. How did I do? Well let’s just say, I couldn’t hit a dove if I tried. But it was a beautiful day and I had a blast. I guess that’s all that really matters anyway. Here are a couple of pics
This is the cotton field next to the sunflowers where we were hunting. Isn't that pretty? I lost one bird out there though. Dammit.

This is the older son of DB. DB was one of the brothers who hosted our hunt. This young boy wanted to show everyone how big he was so he started breasting the doves with everyone else. I couldn't believe it. The kid was better than most of the adults. He just had to have someone cut the wings off. Not bad for a kid who is about to turn 6 soon. Crazy, isn't it.

He and his younger brother (age 4) were also very well mannered. Everything they said was either "yes sir" or "may I please." These are going to be good kids.

We took the long way back to the clubhouse because a few guys had too many beers after the hunt. We drove by a few ponds and there were thousands of snowy egrets on the water. I've never seen so many in my life. It looked like the snow geese do in the winter. It was pretty damn cool. We actually stopped to watch them...and so one guy could take a piss.Here is a shot from near the clubhouse. It was really beautiful. This is some old river bottom that has long since been cut off from the river. But it still fills with water.
I didn’t go out Saturday night (despite many phone calls and text messages trying to convince me to) because I was worn out from the day AND I had to get up at 6:15 Sunday for the game. I picked up the Bergermeister and his two sons (Charlie and Will) and headed to the folks’ house. We met up with everyone, did some final loading, and started the three car caravan down to Oxford. The game rocked. It was one of the best games I’ve been to in a long time. It was close the whole way. The tent rocked. The Bergermeister had upped his stereo setup and brought his laptop. He had a subwoofer and two speakers with a huge amp. You could probably walk to the other side of campus and still hear our music. Anywhoo, our theme for this game was Southern Comfort. We had fried chicken and watermelon. For some reason Mom and Dad wanted to put up the banner that HM donated to us. It didn’t match our theme, but I have to admit that it was pretty damn cool. Here’s a pic with the brother in front of it enjoying the fried chicken and watermelon.

Where we tent is the cut through for everyone coming from fraternity row heading to The Circle or The Grove. We did get a parade of fratastic college kids.
Yeah, in case you didn't know, the students (mostly the younger ones) get dressed up for games. I myself used to wear a tie. Not anymore though.
I actually spent more time talking to friends than taking pics. I had four guys from my years at Ole Miss stop by:
“Swat Team” Watkins
Lt. Troy and his wife Lauren
“Bearcat” Campbell
Kyle
It was pretty weird because they all got there within a few minutes of each other randomly. It was really cool to see them all. I hadn’t seen Swat Team since before I graduated college. I wish I had gotten a pic with everyone, but I’m sure I’ll get a pic with each of them at another game.

I also had several folks from Memphis stop by the tent that I didn’t expect, but it was real cool to see them. A lot of people didn’t make it from the Grove because it was a long walk. The few that did never went back because it was ten degrees cooler by our tent than in the Grove. That was fine with me.
That’s all I’ve got. Here are a few pics to share with you:

Here's a pic of yours truly with my cousin. She just started law school at Ole Miss this fall.This is a pic of the south end zone that I took during half time. The head belongs to the Tiger fan in front of us who never sat down when anything decent was going on.
Have a good one and don’t get none on ya. Oh yeah, HOTTY TODDY!!!

Songs on the Playlist:
Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
Willie Nelson - Down Yonder
The Rolling Stones - Sway
The Rolling Stones - Wild Horses
BuckCherry - Ridin'
Elvis Costello - Allison
Widespread Panic - Pilgrims
Sublime - Santeria

POEMS for everyone!

I'll get to the weekend recap later. Too busy this morning. Here is something to tide you over. It's another battle of the sexes post. Enjoy!

FEMALE POEM
I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I want him to be gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, be not annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! For a man who makes love to my mind
And knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I want this man to love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

MALE POEM
I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac
with huge boobs who owns a liquor store
and a bass boat.
I know this doesn't rhyme and I don't give a crap.