A Post with Two Opposites

I have two posts in my head which I am now combining into one. I probably should make them separate, but I have a feelin whichever one I post first will be skipped over. These are important items that I feel need to be addressed. We'll start with the good news one and then I'll go on a rant (at this point I haven't typed it out yet, but I know it's going to be a big bitchfest rant so be ready).

I've decided to become a triathlete. I've been toying with the idea for a while now, but that's all it's been: an idea. I opened a magazine from January the other day and as I was skimming the pages there were a series of articles on improving yourself professionally, personally, physically, etc. Well, what else do you read on the can? Anyhoo, I landed on a short bit on becoming a triathlete. My initial idea of a triathlon was swimming 2 miles, biking 50 miles, and running a marathon. Then I looked up triathlon distances on wikipedia two days ago (link to triathlons on wikipedia) and found that there are shorter distance marathons and longer. So after that I made a life decision to become a triathlete (it's not a huge life decision, but it a bit of a lifestyle change). I went back to the article in the magazine and found they mentioned a website that lists all the triathlons in the country and there are a few coming up nearby. Awesome!!! Now I just need to buy a bike.

Now if you want to end reading this on a good positive note, stop before we get to item two. It's going to make you depressed/angry/pissed off.
I warned you.

I went to a store the other day in the suburbs to do a little shopping. I won't name the store because it's not their fault it happened. I wanted to come up with a funny nickname so you'd know what store it was in code, but that's really not fair to a place I actually like shopping at. Anyway, I felt the natural urge to sit down for a few minutes and let the Cosby kids go for a swim. So I did the normal thing and visited a room where you're not allowed to bring merchandise for a good reason. I walked into stall number 1 and someone hadn't flushed it. That pissed me off because people are just jerks sometimes. Then I walked into stall number 2 and realized that people are absolute pieces of shit. How do I know that? Well there were two pieces of that person on the floor next to the toilet. Seriously someone dumped outside the toilet on the floor. I imagine this was some high school kid from the cities of Germantown, Collierville, or the surrounding area who thought it would be funny to do that. I want to find this kid and after rubbing his nose in it ask him why he's so pissed at the world:

-Did Mommy and Daddy not buy him the brand new Hummer H3 or Mustang he wants even though he already has a new BMW?
-Or have the fumes from all the black fingernail polish finally gone to his head with the jet black hair and strong lack of pigments?
-Or did he take so much ecstasy at school that it felt good to have only one cheek on the seat and the other suspended in the air?

Enough of the hypothetical explanations based on broad stereotypes of high school pieces of shit. For all I know this could have been a grown man (I'm not even going to touch that one). Either way this person is an absolute piece of shit and I actually hope that karma exists to get him back (Help me My Name Is Earl, you're my only hope!).

The most pathetic thing is he did this in the damn handicapped stall. So some person with disabilities might have had to go in there and see that. They have enough hurdles to overcome and don't need this one too. This was just one of those moments that brings you down and puts a huge lack of faith in humanity in your head.

After I left the restroom, I quietly told one of the employees of the store that there was a bad mess someone left in the men's room that actually needed to be handled soon. She was polite and thanked me for letting her know before wishing me a great day.

Most men have been to bathrooms in bars. Some of your seedier bars have bathrooms where there's pee all over the seat/floor/wall (i.e. any college bar, most bars on Beale, bars in Midtown). But you never see that kind of disregard for your fellow man in friggin stores at 6PM on a weekday. This is just blatant contempt for every other person on the planet. I actually hope that this is something this piece of shit will remember and regret for the rest of his meaningless life.

So I have to ask myself, what exactly would I have done if I had walked in immediately after the offender deficated? Would I have called him out in front of everyone? Would I have taken him to the manager? Would I have actually called him the piece of shit he is and used the other toilet? I honestly don't know. I actually hope I never have to deal with this again.

Ok, that's the end of my lengthy rant. If you wish you hadn't read it, I'm sorry, but I wish I hadn't seen the two Mr. Hankeys on the floor. I just hope that this story will inspire all of us to raise our children with a little more respect for everyone else.

Have a good one and don't get none on ya.


8 Things I Think I Know

1. Italian Fest is always a bad idea, and I love it. I have a lot of stories. And I had some great pics. But I won't post or tell them, because it involves coworkers. If you need an explanation beyond that, raise your IQ a little and figure it out.
But I will say a few things that involved only me or the general crowd:

a. when Gabby, the Mexican man who manages your office's property, hands you a shot glass full of tequila, you'd better smile and take it. Then be prepared to take another a little while later and forget the rest of the night. It was actually really cool and livened up the party more than it should have been.

b. when someone walks around with a tray full of cut up sausage bites, try one or two. Not 10. No matter how many tequila shots you've taken.

c. the mullets at Italian Fest are just as awesome as they are at BBQ fest.

d. pee before you leave Italian Fest. It's a long drive to the Flying Saucer in Cordova, and the bouncer doesn't like it when you say "listen shorty, I gotta pee. I'll come back and give you my ID in a few minutes after I drain some beer." I wonder why.

2. Not eating dinner before the Ptolemy Clubroom party is always a bad idea as well. The night went downhill quickly after the first few drinks. I also didn't like all the crap I got for not finding a costume. Sorry I couldn't come up with anything in the "Egyptian theme." But I wore flip flops with a cotton shirt and blue jeans. I'm pretty sure that's good enough.
And how the hell did I miss out on the ice luge? That sucks. I'll never leave early to go to a bar again. For those of you that didn't hear, apparently there was a nice ice sculpture that people started taking shots from. Now that's pretty damn cool.
By the way, did anyone come dressed up in a Raleigh Egypt tshirt? That would have been funny.

3. I need to check the battery life on my camera before walking into parties. I went to clubroom on Thursday and was going to take a pic of some of the extreme costumes, but the battery was completely dead.
Oh yeah for those of you who costumed up, I'd like to give a little advice for your next costume party: If you don't have the body to pull it off, please cover it up. For the most part, everyone was very discreet, but there were a few people who showed a little more than folks wanted to see. Be proud of who you are and all that crap, but be subtle too.

4. There's a reason I don't drink whiskey. I get extremely sexy. And I know it. And then I don't behave like I should. Nuff said. I'll stick with my vodka, beer, tequila, etc.

5. I really need to make a quick statement about my working situation once and for all:
I've had a lot of people ask me about it and I appreciate the support and interest. I love my new job. I've been there for over 60 days and really feel I made the right choice. I didn't know you could actually have a job where at the end of a bad day, you look forward to the next.
Now a few things I need to say, I will not talk about the job on here or the people I work with. I'm not going to jeapordize my career like that. I really like this job and the folks I work with, but I won't go into details. I'm sure you understand.

6. I'm going to kick some ass in the weight loss tournament. We have a competition at work among 13-15 people to see who can lose the most weight IN A HEALTHY MANNER. It's based on the percentage of weight lost from the start until the end on July 31. So don't be surprised if I don't go out as much as I used to because I want to win the competition...and the money. I did pack on a few pounds over the last week or so just so the weight would be a little easier to lose, but I tried not to lose too much. I did some calculations at work last week and I know if someone loses 20 pounds it's better if they started around 195 like me (yeah I put on about 10 pounds in 2 weeks for it) rather than if they start around 250 or 300. We have some big guys in the office who are going to try to lose a ton of weight. The problem with that (that I see) is when you first start on a weight loss regimen, you lose some big weight quickly and then plateau out for a while. I was already on a regimen that I am accustomed too. My body is already used to the higher metabolism so I have that in my favor. Here's my plan:
I'm going back to swimming 5 miles a week, and I'll add running a minimum of 5 miles a week to it. There will be no weight lifting because I won't try to add any muscle mass. I'm going to eat my carbs in the early parts of the day and try to stick with vegetables and meat in the evenings. I'm going to tone down on the beer and drink vodka more. I think I have a very good chance at winning this. Especially since most of the folks in the competition are in their mid to late 30s.

7. The Thursday Tactical Drinking Team needs to kick back into high gear. It's been too long since we met up. I feel we need an emergency meeting soon, maybe next week. I'm trying to work on my weight loss regimen this week and need every night since I'm going out of town this weekend.

8. I need to do a 'Best Of' covering the last month or so. I never got around to posting pics from music fest or a few other things that I need to put out there.

That's all I have. Sorry I've slacked a lot lately, but I really don't want to sit in front of a computer after 10 hours at work each day (including an hour lunch). I'll try to work on it, but I'm not promising anything.
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