Thursday Tactical Drinking

So last night a small group of us were supposed to met up at Newby's at 7. The first fashionably late person showed up at 7:45 and then everyone else started to roll in. By the way to those of you who said you were going to make it out and then just decided to stay in, here's a little message for you:

And if you didn't get plenty of voicemails and text messages telling you so, that was just a little reminder.

Anyhoo, Mendi and Meredith were there. Meredith loves the tots. The first bunch she ordered were plain. As soon as she said she could eat another tot if her life depended on it, I decided to take that challenge. I ordered the smothered tots. Did you know they've changed them? The old smothered tots were tots covered in cheese and bacon with ketchup and sour cream on the side. They've done away with the sour cream and bacon on the new smothered tots. You get bbq pork and Newby's sweet BBQ sauce on the side now. It's pretty damn good. I'm not sure if I like it more than the old way or not.

Apparently Mendi doesn't like it when people take her stools. Here's an example of a mad Mini-her saying "hi."Duchess Colleen even made it to the gig. She kept saying she had to leave at 9. But I could have sworn I saw here there at 11:45. She is my NEW favorite duchess.
Miss MySpace gave her zeal of approval for our shenanigans. Or is that her mating signal? I think it's a combination of both.

The Uncle Scottie Too Hottie came after he finished his work dinner. He rolled into the bar as a James Bond impersonator. Then he started doing his Gene Simmons' look. Remember ladies, he is single.A couple of weeks ago the brother and I went to meet Mendi for her bday at the Flying Saucer. We have a tradition on each of our bday's we take two Patron shots. We actually only took one on her bday so I had to get the other round last night. Here's that fun:Here's a pic of me with Colleen and Mendi. The debate of the night was heated. I'll leave it open to yall: Are these hooker boots or not? I'm going with yeah they kinda are. Anyway, thanks to everyone who showed up: Mendi, Meredith, Mailbox Mike, Colleen, the brother, Scottie Too Hottie, HM, guy whose name I can't remember, and a few others.

After everyone started leaving, I went to find the brother. He had run into a bunch of friends from college. I decided it was high time to head home. So I jumped in the trunk and started heading eastward. I called a few wing places to get some late night grub, but they were all closed. I had to wonder: what kind of respectable hot wing restaurant is closed at 1 AM on a Thursday? The answer is any of them outside Midtown. So I decided on the next best course of action: I'm heading to a grocery store to buy some frozen oven wings. Well I had an unused Wal-Mart gift card so I headed there. It was the first time I've been on a late night, post-bar visit to Wal-Mart since college (we used to play Wal-Mart football, more on that in a future post).

Unfortunately, I was unable to find any frozen wings that weren't breaded. And they didn't have any that were hot. All of a sudden I felt a calling from the electronics section. I walked over and found my hands reaching for several DVDs. Next thing I know I'm at the checkout with Lost Season 2, Pirates of the Caribbean 1 and 2, Hidalgo, and Waiting. Alas my gift card was for only $30. But in my eloquent state, I didn't want to take the time to return any of it, so I just bought it all and headed home. Cooked my wings. Only ate four because they were horrible. For the record don't ever buy breaded wings. They have no flavor or heat.

Anyhoo, I had a great time last night. Probably too much fun for my own good, but you need that ever once in a while. I'm not sure what I'm doing Saturday night, but I hope it'll be as much fun as last night.

Hoorah!!!

I didn't drunk post last night! I'm so proud of myself. I'll post the recap later with pics. And I'm not that hungover despite the best efforts of last night's contingency of the Thursday Tactical Drinking Team.

By the way, going to Wal-Mart at 3am after a few double vodka tonics looking for frozen hot wings is a lot of fun. But I'll go into more details in the full recap.

American Idol HNT

Ok, under no circumstance have I watched an episode of American Idol. But when I was checking Break.com last night I noticed they had a bunch of pics for one of the female contestants: Antonella Barba. I know nothing about her. But they had a bunch of hot pics so instead of taking a lame ol' pic of myself, I figured I'd treat my loyal readers to a great set of pics I snagged off Break.com.
Enjoy and have a happy Half-Nekkid Thursday.

Apparently she enjoys a little BBall.Is she a sexy librarian or teacher?God Bless America!!! Peekaboos are patriotic!Playing in the fountain: it's like Friends, only hot!

Several Subjects...Enjoy

- Cool friends are hard to come by. But when you get them, you better do your best not to neglect the friendships. That being said, thanks to everyone who hosted and attended the Unemployment Fair this past Friday. The BBQ was great and the beer was cold. I was going to show up after my interview but my alternator decided to die and a wire in the wiring harness was the culprit. A few hours and too many dollars later I was able to finally show up and start drinking.

And thanks to all my friends who called/texted me to come out Friday night after I left the Unemployment Fair. I'm sure I would have had a blast at Brookhaven, the Windjammer, Newby's, Celtic Crossing, and E&H, but I had been drinking for about 7 hours and needed to go to bed.

- You already know about Saturday night. Sorry I was kinda down and harsh on the people who frequented the theater that evening. But I had a huge lack of respect for the general public after witnessing the theater incident. (see previous post)

- So far this week I have had a job offer. It's nothing fancy but it is an offer nonetheless...to work at a liquor store. I'd pull the trigger, but I just went through the first round of an interview with a great logistics company that'll start me off about 8K less than I was making. Hopefully I can swing a job there. That would be great.

- Oh yeah, this Thursday we are restarting our happy hour crew (as Uncle Scottie Too Hottie named it: "Thursday Tactical Drinking Team"). Most of our charter members won't be there, but we've got a ton of new talent showing up. I know I've invited a ton of folks, but I keep feeling like I forgot to invite some. So email me if you normally came last year and didn't get the email. I'll give you the details.

- Lent: As I've said a few times here, I've got two things I'm doing/giving up for Lent this year:
1) Not drinking more than 2 nights a week
2) Swimming at least 4 miles a week
So far I'm doing very well on both. The first one is harder than I thought initially. I like to go out on a week night every once in a while and if I do, then I have to either be a designated driver or stay in one night on the weekend.

Well that's all I've got for now. See most of you tomorrow after work.
Have a good one and don't get none on you.

Adventure in Suburbia (movie theater drama)

I'll talk about Friday in another post. It'll be long, I promise.

Tonight I went to catch a movie and almost witnessed a hate crime. Let me explain:

I have already met my quota for going out this week (Lent: can't drink more than 2 days a week). So I could play DD for drunk friends or I could go catch Black Snake Moan. I chose the latter. I picked the7:30 showing at the Collierville movieplex, because I figured that it wouldn't be too busy on Saturday night. After all, no one goes out or does anything worth mentioning in the suburbs, right. It'll be pretty empty, right? Obviously I was wrong.

I get my ticket for the flick after waiting in line. When I think of the type of people who would move to Collierville, I imagine nice, polite families and retirees. Of course the families might have the rebelling teenager, but so what? It's a suburb of Memphis, and a supposedly nice one at that.

Well imagine my surprise when I arrive in the ticket line and realize that the bowels of Frayser, Byhalia, and Selmer opened up over the Collierville Cinema-Plex to release all of their worst elements. Every demographic's lowest common denominator was present. People were bumping into each other without apologizing and cutting in line. Of course there were a lot of nice folks who wouldn't ever be any trouble. And I'm sure a lot of great people. But apparently everyone there had stolen my idea of an easy night away from drama to catch a movie.

So I get my ticket and head in the front door. There's a guy there with the ticket box to tear my ticket. Apparently he has two responsibilities: model his pimple farm for all to enjoy and direct you to the appropriate next ticket box on the left or right depending on your film's theater location.

Have we as a society become so stupid we can't read a sign that tells you which movies are in which theaters? I know that we have to have the Nutritional Facts on our bottles of water, but are we now that much dumber?

So I get my Cherry Coke and head to my appropriate theater. I pick a seat in the middle of the row. I sit down and start to lean back, only to find that the seats here don't lean back as much as the Paradiso theater in East Memphis. I repeat the promise to myself that I'm going to get a damn good job and move from the vanilla suburbs back into the city, dammit!

The theater's filling up and the previews are starting. I notice in my peripherals a group of four bodies sitting at the end of my row to the right. The preview sucks so I just glance over. It's a family coming to watch Black Snake Moan. I notice that it's a Momma, a Daddy, and two kids. Not necessarily a big deal until I realize that the older of the two kids is shorter than I am...and I'm sitting low in my chair with my feet on the one in front of me. I think these two little girls couldn't have been older than 11 at the most. Probably more like 8 or 9. Still don't think it's a bad thing? Black Snake Moan is about a (basic plot spoiler!) bluesman in a rural town in Tennessee who tries to help this nymphomaniac overcome her sickness. And they provide plenty of examples of her nymphomania.

Just a little inappropriate for little girls. But I'm not their father.

So the movie starts, and I really enjoyed it. But about halfway through it, someone's phone rings. I've had this happen with my friends before at movies. We always feel a little embarassed that we were too stupid to turn off our ringers. But I realize that this ring is coming from the little family group to my right. (Cue bad but now proven stereotype!) That daddy answers the phone: "Hullo? Yea ******, I'm watchin da movie... Naw, it pretty good... Naw, I can taulk... Fo' real? Shiiiiiiiit."

About that moment I (and everyone else around) hear a real loud thud from that direction. Turns out an old man from another demographic kicked the back of Phone Guy's seat. Phone Guy said this before finally hanging up the phone: "...You know what? I'ma halfta call you back. Some dead fool just kicked my m*****-f***ing seat." He hung up the phone and stood up. I finally got a good look at him as well as the guy behind him. Phone Guy was about five foot four and looked like a basketball with arms and legs. He turned to face the guy behind him who was older and grey headed but kinda skinny. Phone Guy said "you gonna kick my seat, huh? You gonna back it up?"

His old lady made him sit down before Seat Kicker could respond. Then she went to get a manager. The whole time she was gone, I could hear Phone Guy: "M*****-f***er kicked my g-d seat. I'ma whoop his ass." She finally came back with a manager and pointed it out. I couldn't hear them, but I imagine that when she said the part about her man being on the phone and the manager noticed the 11 year old girls in the R movie, she probably mentioned that it was in everyone's best interest that they leave. The only evidence that I have to this is that the woman walked back to the seat, grabber her drink, and dragged her family out of there. The whole way out Phone Guy kept saying "I oughta shoot that damn m*****-f***er!"

We were able to watch the rest of Black Snake Moan in peace. It is a pretty damn good film. And Phone Guy never came back with a gun to shoot anyone. I kept waiting to see if I was going to witness to a hate crime or not, but nothing happened. Needless to say no one was quick to be the first out of the theater.

So what did I learn? That most of society's winners do not go to movie theaters in suburbia. And if someone answers their cell phone in front of you, kick their chair if you want to get shot.

Have a good one and don't get none on ya