Bush said what?

Again, this is nothing political. I am just very shocked that El Presidente Bush said this in a q&a at the White House:
When the president was asked at a Rose Garden question-and-answer session whether the anthem should be sung in Spanish, he replied: "I think the national anthem ought to be sung in English, and I think people who want to be a citizen of this country ought to learn English and they ought to learn to sing the national anthem in English."
This is from CNN. I just hope everyone can agree with that statement.

I wish I could play a soundbite from Pulp Fiction: "English Mothafucka! Do you speak it?"


Here are the upcoming things on the calendar. As usual I won't attend all.

Saturday April 29
Oxford Double Decker Festival (always a blast. I won’t be there though)
Memphi/Ptolemy Picnic in Nesbit, MS. Invite only (I’ll be there for a little bit)
Ross & Sloan’s Wedding (I’ll be there)
Tinsley Ellis @ BB Kings on Beale (I won’t be there. I put this up because I recognize the name, but I have no idea why)

Sunday April 30
Ptolemy Poker Run. Here are the details from the Ptolemy email:
Hail Ptolemites! Rain or Shine the 2006 Ptolemy Poker Run will be taking place THIS SUNDAY. Registration begins at 1:00. Run begins at 2:00 at T.J. Mulligan's in the Pinch District. You don't want to miss out this year!
We have a NEW drink competition: For $5 you get to sample 11 adult beverages concocted by the 2006 Carnival Krewe Royals and vote on your favorite.
We also have an INCREDIBLE silent auction: You don't want to miss these bargains:
- 4-Course Dinner for 8 at the winning bidder's home prepared by Stella's award-winning chef Johnny Kirk
- Get Bluetooth Installed in your car (any service provider)
- Real Estate Appraisals
- Tickets to Mama Mia
- Tickets to the Beale Street Music Fest
- Rounds of Golf
- Skipworth Portrait Session
- Spa packages
- Dinner for 2 at McEwan's
- Dinner for 2 at Lolo's Table

Just to name a few..... (don't forget to bring your checkbook for the silent auction- all proceeds go to FirstWorks!) Plus, you can pick up this year's T-Shirt designed by King Trip's lovely wife (and better half) Elaine!

Friday – Sunday May 5-7
Beale Street Music Fest

Friday May 5
Southern Culture On The Skids @ Young Ave Deli (probably won’t make it)
DP & AT’s rehearsal dinner

Saturday May 6
DP & AT’s wedding

Saturday May 13
Brother’s graduation from Ole Miss
Tishamingo @ Newby’s

Sunday May 14
Mother’s Day
Remember to take care of Mama, cause if Mama ain’t happy, ain’t NOBODY happy.

May 18-20
Memphis in May BBQ FEST!!!

June 2-10
Thursday June 8
Ptolemy Clubroom @ University Club

June 16-18

Sunday June 18
Father’s Day


The Cosmos are Laughing

Wow, talk about not funny. Not only did I miss the REK show last night (see last night's post), I have hit a serious amount of his songs on the playlist today at work. Do you think the universe is laughing at this? (God has more important things to deal with than me missing a show)


Most of my generation (and probably the one before me) only know Liz Taylor as a punchline in a fat joke. I just read this article about her dying (I don't know if it is true or not), and it made me think about that fact. I’d like to ask if you have any free time and would like to see a great movie, watch Cat On A Hot Tin Roof. Liz Taylor looks unbelievable in that. Absolutely stunning. And it is a great film (it is a drama, so be in the right mood). I feel it is a shame that she became a fat joke to those of us too young to know the talent and the beauty she was.

The first time I saw it was last summer. My folks had another couple at the lake and I was there with a few folks. The other couple watched these old movies like that, On The Waterfront, and Streetcar Named Desire. I had never seen any of those and I now understand why they are so well known. They are unbelievable. Great films. They didn’t have a lot of special effects, but they had great plots and characters.

Here's a great idea: the next time Hollywood comes out with crappy movies (i.e. the last 3 years and probably the next 2) watch those classics that you've never seen. Watch movies on AMC. I actually watched a great film with Goldie Hawn, Walter Matthau, and Ingrid Bergman a few months ago. I don't remember the name of it though.

Ok, that’s enough serious stuff for now. I’ll come up with something funny later.

Songs on the Playlist:
The Who – The Relay
Stevie Ray Vaughan – Mary Had A Little Lamb
Cowboy Mouth – Hey Bartender


Here is this week's Half Nekkid Thursday post. This is a current pic of the post sunburn tanline. I am not wearing a watch next time I go fishing.



No, I'm sorry for that lie. I am


Why? Because I was driving home from the gym, when a friend called me crying about some drama. I put the phone down and all I heard was Robert Earl Keen in Memphis tonight. I called bullshit. She said it's true.

I called DP (he and I have been to at least 5 REK shows together). I asked him if he knew anything about it. He said no. Since I was driving, I had him check REK's website for tour dates. The tour starts in Nashville tomorrow night. That's what it has said for the last month. I had a thought and told him to check Pollstar. Pollstar confirmed that REK is playing at the New Daisy tonight.

Let's do a quick explanation as why I'm not going:
I just got home from the gym. I have to shower and get dressed (that'll take maybe 15-25 minutes). I need money as I am broke (ATM 5 minutes). I have to drive downtown (15-20 minutes). I will have to park and walk to the show (10-15 minutes). It is 9PM and the show just started (I'm sure). That means by the time I get to the door to buy a ticket, it'll be 10PM probably. Since he'll play anywhere from an hour and half to 2 hours, I'd miss at least half the show.

I am kicking myself because I'm not going. But I have to cover the sales and shipping departments tomorrow (both guys are on vacation). So I'll be covered up. Let's see. I can deal with that with or without a hangover. Hmm...

I think the official verdict is go see REK the next time he rolls into a town nearby. Roadtrip anyone? The next time he is close to Memfricano is tomorrow night in Nashville. Well shit. I guess I'll catch the fall or winter tour.

Curse you Memphis media!!! Why do you advertise for stupid bands, but nothing good?


In high school, I had a great friend named Grant West. We have drifted apart over the years and I don't know his number now. I'm sure if I got off my lazy ass and called his mom I could get it. But I digress. He and I ran cross country together. He came to the lake with our family one weekend. That happened to be the same weekend as a Nascar race on Saturday night. My family had never really watched Nascar. He was a huge Dale Earnhardt fan. We watched the race and I was hooked. I became a Dale fan (my brother became a Jeff Gordon fan). When Dale Jr came along, I (like most Dale fans) cheered for him too. I watched when Dale crashed and died. It was pretty sad because he seemed like such a real person to me.

This morning I heard on the radio that Dale Jr was going to race a black car as a tribute to his father in this weekend's race at Talledega. I forgot about it until a few minutes ago when I saw the story. I hope no one gets upset (i.e. foxsports) but I had to put up this pic of the car:

To make things even stranger in this tale, I actually got goosebumps when I saw this car. Is that weird? No, just the country boy in me.

Songs on the playlist:
Rolling In The Hay - Whiskey River
Duran Duran - Planet Earth
Billy Joel - I May Be Crazy

My Bad

I think I owe you an apology. I didn’t warn you that the story was so long. My bad. I still think it is worth reading when you have time. But it’ll take you a while. I just felt like telling a story from back in the day. You can get whatever moral from it you want. I think it is a good example of keeping a balance in every relationship AND NOT GETTING WHIPPED!!!

Songs on the Playlist:
The Killers – Somebody Told Me
The Grateful Dead – Going Down The Road Feeling Bad
Bob Dylan – Meet Me In The Morning


Bedtime Story - 12 months

I'm going to tell you a story. This is a true story. The names of some have been changed. Some of the facts have been changed for two reasons:
1. To protect those involved because, well, I don't know how to contact some of the people involve and I wouldn't try to contact others.
2. I remember the story as I have told it over the past 6 years. After 6 years some details may have inadvertantly changed.
Here is your bedtime story:

Back in college, I lived in the Fraternity house during the fall semester of my freshman year. Our house was built in an L shape. I lived in the first room on the right after you came upstairs. My neighbor who will be called "Val Venis" was a junior (I am calling him Val Venis after the pro wrestler that he thought was the funniest guy in the world that year. Obviously that's not his real name).

I'll give you a little background on Val Venis. He was from another Southern state. A very nice guy. Very studious (he is in post-graduate school in a medicine-related field). He had a nice, loving family. He worked out 6 days a week. He was a huge guy, but a gentle giant.

One random December weekend just before exams and Xmas break, a few girls came over to the house for a late night. A few were semi-regulars in this one group with a particular girl who wasn't in school yet. Val Venis met this particular girl and found out that she was starting her freshman year in the spring there at Ole Miss. This particular girl we will call Corvette (I'll give the reason for that later). That was the last I heard of the story until the spring semester started.

Corvette Timeline: Known Each Other for One Month (Mid-December to Mid-January)

The start of the spring semester was a period of new beginnings and changes that year. My parents decided that living in the fraternity house was not in my best interest so they moved me to a dorm. I kept my room in the fraternity house but lived in the dorm.

Much like my change in living accommodations, Val Venis had a change of venue. No, he didn't move out of his room. He started dating Corvette and spent every night in her dorm room at Martin (the women's dormitory). He ended up staying there ALL SPRING. For those of you who don't know why this is a big deal, let me "splain it to you Lucy": men were not allowed in the women's dorms after 12 or 1. That means that every night all spring long, he snuck into her dorm building after 2, took the stairs to her floor, snuck to her room, and was out by 6 AM. If he had been caught, he would have been arrested for trespassing. Literally, I knew people that were drunk and were caught. If you were somewhat sober, you could run away from the security guard downstairs (nicknamed Fat Bastard because HE LOOKED LIKE FAT BASTARD!!)

A few weeks into the spring semester, Val Venis actually brought her by the house to meet the guys. Since he spent every waking moment over in her dorm and most the night there too, we never got to see him much. A few of the guys were talking to her and out of the blue she said the following:
"I'm really mad at my daddy. He traded in my corvette for my beemer. I miss my corvette."
Hence the nickname Corvette. This has been quoted so many times, I'm 100% sure it's verbatim. FYI a beemer is a BMW.

So Val Venis and Corvette were attached at the hip. No big deal right? Everyone has a girlfriend or two like that in college. We planned to go to Panama City Beach for spring break (aka the Redneck Riviera). I mean we had probably 30-40 people total going down there. I was in a group of about15 that got rooms at one hotel. Val Venis and Corvette decided...no wait, Corvette decided that Val Venis would share the fee for a room with us, but she'd get a suite from "Daddy" in the adjourning tower at the hotel. The suite was two bed rooms. She told "Daddy" that she her four girlfriends would stay there. When we were about to leave for PCB, Val Venis informed us he was riding with her and staying in her room. I was thrilled because now I got my own bed.

While we were in PCB, we (i.e. everyone else) saw Val Venis and Corvette two times. TWO TIMES in 7 days. No big deal right? Oh wait, we were staying in the same hotel. One of the times, it was because I went to their room just to make sure they were alive. This is what I saw:
Two bedrooms. One had three girls and their luggage in it with a full sized bed (not a queen). The other room had Corvette clothes and makeup thrown everyone (she wore too much btw) and a King Sized Bed. What a nice friend she is to the other three girls, right? That was the extent of our interaction with Corvette and Val Venis. But that's not all that happened as we found out post-spring break.

While they were there, they made a run to the liquor store. Corvette said "Val, I don't understand why everyone keeps telling us we need to wait to get married."
Val "Yea, I hear you."
Corvette "Then it's settled. We'll get married this summer!!!"

Corvette Timeline: Three Months (Mid-December to Mid-March)

That was the "marriage proposal". So now Val Venis and Corvette were getting married that summer. We never saw them much even at FIJI Island our big spring party. Mostly because Corvette was jealous and didn't want Val around any other girls. Literally, that was explained to us. From him. (F-ing weird)

Spring came and went. That July was the big day. Corvette would not let Val have a bachelor party or even just one last night drinking with the boys. Grandparents on both sides refused to come to the wedding. Guys from the house were literally debating whether or not to attend because she was such a bitch.

At the rehearsal dinner, you could have cut the tension with a knife. Neither set of parents approved (his less than hers), but they loved their children and supported them. Anytime one of the guys who was there (I was not in the wedding and not invited to the dinner) got up to give a toast (not roast, but toast), Corvette just glared at them with hatred. No one said anything bad. After the dinner was over, everyone was leaving and the groomsmen were trying to convince Val to come have one last "free man's" drink with them. He was hesitant. When Corvette found out about this, she said "Val, I want you to stay with me."
He turned to the guys and said "I'm not going."
They pleaded with him and then tried to carry him out. Like I said before, he worked out 6 days a week. He bowed up and shoved one guy back very forcefully. "I'm not going."
The general response was "Fine! F-U! Make your own mistake!" They left and went to have a wake for Val at a bar in Memphis (the wedding was in Coldwater, Independence, or Nesbit, MS).

We later found out that Val and Corvette went back to the hotel where he was staying. They got in the hot tub and then a few hours later, went to his room. They then woke up together ON THE DAY OF THEIR WEDDING and she went home to change into her dress. Let me repeat that:
I just wanted to make sure you read that part.

The wedding was a small Baptist thing. The reception was in the back of the church. It looked like they had moved everything from the Sunday school room to the sides so people would have somewhere to stand. On the left side of the room was the grooms cake. On the right, the brides. Back of the room was the wedding cake.

I introduced myself to the parents on both side. It was from a family member on his side that I found out about the hot tub the night before. Everyone from the Fraternity who came stood by the grooms cake milling around. As soon as they came in the room, she walked him to the right side of the room. 30 minutes after they had walked in, he stepped away to come say hi to us. He was there two minutes before she called him back over to see more of her friends that he still hadn't met. That was the last time that day she let him get away from her side. Does anyone else notice a pattern here?

Corvette Timeline: Seven Months (Mid-December to Mid-July)

That fall raced by. We hardly ever saw Val Venis. Her parents bought them a condo (not a nice one). I joked whenever I actually did see him that I was going to come and throw food through the bars on the balcony to see if I could get some food to his cage.

This is what happened that fall between them:
He worked 40 hours a week at Dominoes and took 18 hours in school (plus 3 labs, so actually 21 hours). She took 12 hours and went shopping. She was spending all the money he made plus still using "Daddy's" credit cards. She went out and bought rims.

And that was all I ever heard about it. We never saw him. It was kinda sad. But things got really bad. Everything I am about to tell you I didn't find out until December.

When she was not spending his money, she was alienating him from his family. She called his mother and after winning her confidence, started telling her that he beat her. I'm sorry but I don't know when he could fit that into his schedule. She told her folks the same thing. She played mind games with everyone on both sides. And he was trapped.

Sometime in October, the big word came down. I don't know if Val said it or if Corvette did. But someone said Divorce.


By the time November began, the divorce was being finalized. He just wanted out and nothing to do with her. The truth came to light and everyone knew he never hit her. In fact, I heard that she had actually hit him in one fight, but he never swung back (smart guy, actually).

In mid-November, the divorce was final. Val was physically and emotionally exhausted. But he was free of that crazy biotch.

That's the story of my friend who met a girl and divorced her in less than 12 months.




Cindy Margolis to Pose for Playboy!

Personal note: as happy as I am that this is going to happen, I have lukewarm feelings on it. I would have preferred if she had done this years ago. Why? She was the "most downloaded woman on the internet" back when/before I was in college. That was before the first Austin Powers movie when the internet was just budding. We'll be nice and say that was about 8-10 years ago. She is now and has had two three kids. I hope she looks hot. I know women who are mothers and still look hot, but I really don't see the appeal for the married men out there to see another mother naked.

Let's think about that. (Gotta put yourself in that place) You are a happily married man with a lovely and loving wife and your 2.3 kids. You open an issue of Playboy to see a hot young twenty-something college student, but you get a mother. How are you going to feel?

I don't know, maybe I am being impulsive and she'll blow me away with the pictorial. But I'll just have to wait and see.

WAIT A MINUTE!!! What do I care, they'll airbrush her all over so she'll look perfect. Problem Solved!!!

Songs on the Playlist:
The English Beat - Mirror In The Bathroom
Weezer - Keep Fishing
Kenny Loggins - Footloose


I saw this and had to share it. Every once in a while you need a pic of some kittens to cheer you up. Have a great day.


Weekend Recap

Before I get started, do you fellow Memfricanos remember that bad rain storm that came through Wednesday last week? This is a pic from Airways & Central at 7:50 IN THE MORNING. For those of you who can't realize what the problem is, let me explain it to you: at 7:50, even if we have a bad rainstorm, the sky isn't black like this.So it’s finally Monday, and I am tired. I don’t know why. The last time I posted anything was at the office Friday night about ten after 7. After I finished posting, I didn’t leave for another 20 minutes. I raced home (like I had predicted) and took a fast shower. I turned on my computer and cranked up the stereo. The roommate was gone so I left the door open and jammed out in the shower. It made the day just fade away.

I left the house at 8:30 and ran up to Newby’s. Is it a bad omen when you are walking to the bar and this pic is you see across the street at the Dominoes?

Walked in and found HM with the FIJI boys and grad brothers from the University of Memphis State University chapter. I wasn’t a member of this chapter, but HM invited me along. It turned out to be a great time.

That was one of two reasons I headed up to Newby’s Friday. The other was to watch Ingram Hill at the Phoenix Club Fundraiser. The crowd sucked. I don’t know if they made money. It was bubble gum rock. The only time I was actually entertained was for the cover of Phil Collins’ “In The Air Tonight”. That was ok, but the highlight was the girl next to me, Bonnie, sang it to me. Funny thing was she kept screwing up the words and wanted to hit the drums too early. They’d get to the end of a verse and she’d try to air drum it with my buddies wife and they’d both be early. Way early. Other than that Ingram Hill sucks. Sorry. I’m not a 19 year old girl who doesn’t know what decent music sounds like. Or a 19 year old guy who is there in the hope that said girl might think he’s deep because he came to hear the band (but everyone knows he came to try and get laid).

Funny story, though. There was some groupie walking around. She had on jeans and some type of jacket (like a blazer, but it wasn’t a blazer). The jacket was buttoned tightly around her waist which allowed the top front to open wide but still tight and show her store bought teats. I think I pissed her off when I was standing at the door with a few of the Phoenix guys. She walked past. No wait, she walked through our group. She had that bitchy attitude that you just hate. While she stumbled through, she made some comment to someone about her name being Tiffany or someone called her Tiffany. I just piped up and to no one in particular, said “Hey, her name is Tiffany. She’s with the band.” She looked back at me with a half puzzled, half deer-in-headlights look. The gears in her head turned over and I think she realized that I was making fun of her attitude. But hey she had a backstage pass to get on the bus. She stared at me. I didn’t back down. She turned to the drunk guy walking around with her. He looked at me sized me and realized it wasn’t worth it. I don’t know how he came to that conclusion. He was younger and much more drunk than I was. Maybe the fact that the security guards were all standing there with me and we were about to escort the cash box to the Phoenix President’s car. I don’t know. But she gave me the eat-shit-and-die look. Whatever, if she can’t take a joke, forget her. Besides I’m sure she needed to go on the bus and get friendly with the band.

Another funny story, I took no responsibility at the concert. There were other Phoenix guys who were working. Me? I won’t work anymore events. Ever. (I’ll tell that story another time) so I was standing at the door with my friends who were trying to sell the merchandise. This group of ladies (I’m being nice here) walked out and someone said “Hey, yall need to buy some Tshirts!!!”
The girls looked at them and then the tshirts. They gave a polite “No thanks.”
My buddy Brown said “Well hey, how about some Ingram Hill panties? I’ll model them for you!!”
(Let me pause and say one thing: Brown is married to one of the sweetest, lovely women in the world. She was standing there during this whole thing, laughing.)
So Brown modeled the panties for them. They still didn’t buy them. Don’t believe me? Check out the pics. First is Brown when he wasn't expecting a pic. I think his sister was either putting some tickets in his shirt pocket or taking them out.
After I took that one, he said "Wait, let me pose for the ladies!!! Maybe then they'll buy it!"And yes, those are the panties that Ingram Hill sells at their concerts. I told you they were bubble gum. I have changed my mind. They are douches.

So obviously I behaved myself most of the night. I had about 6-7 Rockstars (like Red Bull and Vodka, but Newby’s has a deal with Rockstar I guess) between 9 and 12 when I left. I got home and crawled into bed. I tried to sleep. After about 30 minutes, I realized I had more caffeine in me than I’d had over the entire last month. So I turned on my computer and made two mixes to pass the time. And then I watched Old School. About 2-2:30 I was finally able to fall asleep.

I got up around 7, took a shower, and raced to the office for inventory. That was boring with no good stories. Sorry. I stayed after it was over and and cleaned up around my desk a bunch (if you’ve ever seen my desk, you’d know why). I left and was going to race home and go to the Crawfish boil. I get a call from my buddy Todd.
“Hey man, where are you? What time are you getting here?”
“Get where for what?”
“The cookout, man. You promised me last week you were going to come by.”
I stopped by on the way home from work. I told myself I was only going to be a few minutes. Next thing I know, I’ve had a few burgers and a lot of beers, and I have dropped my phone in a cup of beer. I race home, shower and race over to the Crawfish Boil. I get there. The crawfish area is cleaned up. People are watching a movie and the rest are outside sitting down. There is no one left who is rowdy. I stay about an hour and have a nice epiphany. Somehow every year, I screw up getting to this party. Something comes up and I don’t get there on time or whatever. Last year, I got there 45 minutes after the last batch of crawfish were cooked. This year I get there well after sunrise. But every other party Jennie and Walker throw, I am on time. Oh well, I still had fun.

Oh yeah, the phone didn’t start working properly again until after I got back home Saturday night. It is Monday morning and it still smells of two day old beer. Nice right?

Sunday I roll out of bed around 11. I went to the couch to start watching TV and said screw that. I read on the couch instead. After a while I realized how beautiful it was outside. I walked out, sat in the sun, and read. About an hour later, the roommate came home from Church. One of his friends was confirmed and they went to that and then to Sleep Out Louie’s. After a while we cleaned the kitchen. It looks great now. I went back and read on the front porch out of the sun. I ordered two pizzas for Sopranos night and left to get them before heading over to DP&AT’s house. As I walked out, this lady pulled up to watch TV with the roommate. She has to be the hottest girl I have seen in the last 6 months. Easily. I was in pure shock. I only saw her for a minute so I don’t know how much is natural beauty and what not.

I went to pick up the pizza. I got the Alternative and the BBQ Chicken from Memphis Pizza Café. I actually liked the Alternative better. Sopranos rocked. AT had her bachelorette party the night before. Some of the less risqué gifts were sitting around the living room. It is amazing what clean cut girls will buy their friends for bachelorette parties. That’s all I’ll say about that.

I cut out after Sopranos and went home. I read until about 12 and the fell asleep. That was my weekend. How legendary was yours?

Songs on the Playlist:
Jimmy Buffett – Lovely Cruise
North Mississippi Allstars – Someday Baby
James Brown – Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag
Hank Williams – Hey Good Looking
Kris Kristofferson – Sunday Morning Coming Down
Joe Diffie – Pickup Man
Bush – Monkey
Billy Joel – Uptown Girl
REM – (Don’t Go Back To) Rockville
Brooks & Dunn – Only In America
ZZ Top – Waiting for the Bus>Jesus Just Left Chicago
Oasis – Wonderwall
Animotion – Obsession
Phish – Harry Hood
Nickelback – Figured You Out
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