Now this is funny. There isn't a permalink so check it ASAP. It is the post titled "The dating game." It's for women, but I got a few laughs out of it.
Enjoy
6/09/2006
Ptolemy Clubroom Recap
Wow. Last night was a blast. The doors opened at 8:30 and I rolled into the Ptolemy Clubroom about 9:30. I was on my way there when I realized I had forgotten the camera. I didn’t turn around because I thought I was running late. Turns out I could have gone back for the camera but I didn’t. I rolled in and said my hellos to everyone. I have to say I was a little disappointed by the turnout. We had plenty of guests, but we were missing several members. I know of seven who weren’t there off the top of my head. But we had a lot of great representation from other Krewes. My only disappointment was our lackluster attendance by our Krewe members. But I had a blast.
Our theme was Caddyshack (GOLF PROS & TENNIS HOS). I wore a pink golf shirt, white pants and loafers. Yeah, I’m a friggin stud. I show up and say my hellos. I finally get to the bar to get the first cocktail. I order a Vodka tonic and go get in a conversation with Mark & Leanne (I think). All of a sudden I feel someone tapping my shoulder with something metal. I turn around to see Scottie-too-hottie holding my flask. He had walked out with it at DP&AP’s wedding a month ago. It was mostly full of vodka when he got it. I got it back mostly full of vodka. I had enough to make three more vodka tonics. Hell yeah. So as far as the bartender was concerned, I was driving because I kept getting tonic and ice. The only drink snafu of the evening was some boll weevil dropped a Baby Ruth in my sister’s drink. She said “EWW!” and threw it in mine. She had ice so it sat at the top of her drink. My ice had melted and the damn thing sank to the bottom of my glass. So I was walking around with a mini Baby Ruth in my vodka tonic. Since the party had a Caddyshack theme, I kept walking around asking folks if that was dootey or a Baby Ruth.
The band was Aquanet. They are an 80s hairband/metal cover band. I know it had nothing to do with the theme, but they were still good. I highly recommend checking them out whenever you can. It was fun. So overall I had a blast. I saw a few folks I hadn’t seen in a while. I messed with several of my sister’s friends in the Carnival Court. One of them who I’ve known since she was probably three years old tried to be all ‘miss hot stuff’ and tell me how I could never have her no matter how much I tried. I asked her what made her think I would actually lower my standards that much. She didn’t take it well. She just walked away. My sister, her date, and this girl’s date just stood there with their mouths agape. What do you think? Was that a little harsh? I don’t think so because she pulled that stuff back at Crown & Sceptre. Whatever. If she can’t take a joke, forget her.
So what’s left on the social calendar? I’m going to go fishing tomorrow morning so I’m not going out tonight. You kids have fun. I know there is some Memphis Blogger bash. I’ll probably miss that. I know the University Club Tea Party is tonight. It’s member and guest only though. I got an invite, but I’m too damn tired after last night. I think I’m just going to go home and crash after work. Other than that I don’t know anything going on tonight.
Oh yeah, if you are thinking about doing anything downtown anytime soon, you need to read Paul’s Blog about the damn crime spree downtown with the gangs. It is getting disturbing.
So in lieu of party pics from last night (since I forgot the camera), I have a few random pics for your enjoyment. If anyone has any pics from last night that they want me to post, email them to me. So yeah, these are totally random and off topic, but I thought they’re funny. Enjoy. And don’t get none on ya.
Our theme was Caddyshack (GOLF PROS & TENNIS HOS). I wore a pink golf shirt, white pants and loafers. Yeah, I’m a friggin stud. I show up and say my hellos. I finally get to the bar to get the first cocktail. I order a Vodka tonic and go get in a conversation with Mark & Leanne (I think). All of a sudden I feel someone tapping my shoulder with something metal. I turn around to see Scottie-too-hottie holding my flask. He had walked out with it at DP&AP’s wedding a month ago. It was mostly full of vodka when he got it. I got it back mostly full of vodka. I had enough to make three more vodka tonics. Hell yeah. So as far as the bartender was concerned, I was driving because I kept getting tonic and ice. The only drink snafu of the evening was some boll weevil dropped a Baby Ruth in my sister’s drink. She said “EWW!” and threw it in mine. She had ice so it sat at the top of her drink. My ice had melted and the damn thing sank to the bottom of my glass. So I was walking around with a mini Baby Ruth in my vodka tonic. Since the party had a Caddyshack theme, I kept walking around asking folks if that was dootey or a Baby Ruth.
The band was Aquanet. They are an 80s hairband/metal cover band. I know it had nothing to do with the theme, but they were still good. I highly recommend checking them out whenever you can. It was fun. So overall I had a blast. I saw a few folks I hadn’t seen in a while. I messed with several of my sister’s friends in the Carnival Court. One of them who I’ve known since she was probably three years old tried to be all ‘miss hot stuff’ and tell me how I could never have her no matter how much I tried. I asked her what made her think I would actually lower my standards that much. She didn’t take it well. She just walked away. My sister, her date, and this girl’s date just stood there with their mouths agape. What do you think? Was that a little harsh? I don’t think so because she pulled that stuff back at Crown & Sceptre. Whatever. If she can’t take a joke, forget her.
So what’s left on the social calendar? I’m going to go fishing tomorrow morning so I’m not going out tonight. You kids have fun. I know there is some Memphis Blogger bash. I’ll probably miss that. I know the University Club Tea Party is tonight. It’s member and guest only though. I got an invite, but I’m too damn tired after last night. I think I’m just going to go home and crash after work. Other than that I don’t know anything going on tonight.
Oh yeah, if you are thinking about doing anything downtown anytime soon, you need to read Paul’s Blog about the damn crime spree downtown with the gangs. It is getting disturbing.
So in lieu of party pics from last night (since I forgot the camera), I have a few random pics for your enjoyment. If anyone has any pics from last night that they want me to post, email them to me. So yeah, these are totally random and off topic, but I thought they’re funny. Enjoy. And don’t get none on ya.
By the way, that Barry "Balco" Bonds walking to the outfield and seeing that sign. The whole sign said "Babe Ruth Did It On Hot Dogs & Beer." That's pretty damn funny.
Hotty Toddy indeed. Go Rebs! Get some of that on ya.
Songs on the Playlist:
Bob Dylan – You’re A Big Girl Now
Journey – Don’t Stop Believing
Garth Brooks – Longneck Bottle
Cake – Short Skirt, Long Jacket
Velvet Revolver – Do It For The Kids
Cream – I’m So Glad
Johnny Cash – San Quentin
Ten Years After – I’m Going Home (live from Woodstock ’69)
Chris Isaac – Somebody’s Crying
ZZ Top – Doubleback
The Band - I Shall Be Released (from the Last Waltz)
Jimmy Buffett - Another Saturday Night
6/08/2006
Baggin a Classy Lady - HNT
"The best way to bag a classy lady is give her two tickets to the gun show. And see if she likes the goods." - Ron Burgundy in Anchorman
"They've done studies you know. Sixty percent of the time...it works every time." - Brian Fantana in Anchorman
Happy HNT Click here for the HNT Guidelines
Songs on the Playlist:
Pat Green - The Bottle
The Who - Substitute
The Who - A Quick One, While He's Away
"They've done studies you know. Sixty percent of the time...it works every time." - Brian Fantana in AnchormanHappy HNT Click here for the HNT Guidelines
Songs on the Playlist:
Pat Green - The Bottle
The Who - Substitute
The Who - A Quick One, While He's Away
6/07/2006
Happy Hump Day
Well morning kiddies. Do you know what hurts? My head. I went to Amerigos last night for a business dinner with reps and managers from one of our biggest suppliers. Dad had to go to the Memphi clubroom party for Carnival and I got to go. If you haven't ever been to Amerigos, I highly recommend it. And get the mussells for an appetizer. I friggin love them. By the way, if I mispell something, forgive me. I only have one working eye right now and it is a little bloodshot. We had several bottles of wine for the table and now I have a wine hangover. Not too bad, but it usually effects my eyes the worst.
So after the dinner I got home and crash like a ton of bricks. I was in a ridiculous deep sleep when I got a call from one of our lovely Ptolemy Duchesses. She shall remain nameless, but I'll refer to her as the "shady duchess." (that's no reflection on her as she is a great person. I just like calling her the Shady Duchess because she hates it.) Here is the conversation...as I remember it:
Shady Duchess: "HEEEEEEEEEY!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING??"
Tired Sleepy Guy (Me): "I'm asleep. What's up?"
SD: "WHOOOOOOAAAA!!! WE'RE UP AT NEWBY'S YOU OUGHTA COME AND PARTY WITH US!!!"
TSG: "I'm asleep. It's 12:45. I have work in the morning. Thanks but no thanks."
SD: "OK, WELL CALL ME TOMORROW!!!"
TSG: *click*
I really thought about calling her this morning at 6:30 when I got up. But the last thing I need is a woman with a friggin tiara pissed off at me.
Do you know what's kinda cool? In the time it has taken me to type this, my hangover has floated away and now I can see out of both eyes. That's weird. It never happens like that. I usually have to hurt for several hours before I feel better. I guess I'm smarter than I realized (i.e. I turned down an after dinner drink to have water last night at dinner).
So what's on the schedule for the rest of the week? Ptolemy clubroom Thursday. We have a Caddyshack theme. Well that's the Politically Correct title. I prefer to call it by the original name:
"GOLF PROS AND TENNIS HOS"
How badass is that? I think I'm going to take it easy Friday night and get up at the ass crack of dawn to go fishing Saturday. But then again, the party bug may bite me and I'll blow off that idea. Depends on what goes down Thursday (i.e. how much I party). Saturday night is the Grand Carnival Ball, but I never really have fun at that. So I'll probably fish all day and go to bed early. I just hope they are biting this weekend.
Ok, I'm getting back to it. Have a good one and keep it sleezy on hump day.
Songs on the Playlist:
The Grateful Dead - Turn On Your Lovelight
Stevie Ray Vaughan - Texas Flood
Jimmy Buffett - Son of a Son of a Sailor
So after the dinner I got home and crash like a ton of bricks. I was in a ridiculous deep sleep when I got a call from one of our lovely Ptolemy Duchesses. She shall remain nameless, but I'll refer to her as the "shady duchess." (that's no reflection on her as she is a great person. I just like calling her the Shady Duchess because she hates it.) Here is the conversation...as I remember it:
Shady Duchess: "HEEEEEEEEEY!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING??"
Tired Sleepy Guy (Me): "I'm asleep. What's up?"
SD: "WHOOOOOOAAAA!!! WE'RE UP AT NEWBY'S YOU OUGHTA COME AND PARTY WITH US!!!"
TSG: "I'm asleep. It's 12:45. I have work in the morning. Thanks but no thanks."
SD: "OK, WELL CALL ME TOMORROW!!!"
TSG: *click*
I really thought about calling her this morning at 6:30 when I got up. But the last thing I need is a woman with a friggin tiara pissed off at me.
Do you know what's kinda cool? In the time it has taken me to type this, my hangover has floated away and now I can see out of both eyes. That's weird. It never happens like that. I usually have to hurt for several hours before I feel better. I guess I'm smarter than I realized (i.e. I turned down an after dinner drink to have water last night at dinner).
So what's on the schedule for the rest of the week? Ptolemy clubroom Thursday. We have a Caddyshack theme. Well that's the Politically Correct title. I prefer to call it by the original name:
"GOLF PROS AND TENNIS HOS"
How badass is that? I think I'm going to take it easy Friday night and get up at the ass crack of dawn to go fishing Saturday. But then again, the party bug may bite me and I'll blow off that idea. Depends on what goes down Thursday (i.e. how much I party). Saturday night is the Grand Carnival Ball, but I never really have fun at that. So I'll probably fish all day and go to bed early. I just hope they are biting this weekend.
Ok, I'm getting back to it. Have a good one and keep it sleezy on hump day.
Songs on the Playlist:
The Grateful Dead - Turn On Your Lovelight
Stevie Ray Vaughan - Texas Flood
Jimmy Buffett - Son of a Son of a Sailor
6/06/2006
Crown & Sceptre Pics
So why did it take so long to post these? Well I went fishing Sunday and despite catching too many minifish I decided to take a vacation day Monday and fish some more. Well it's Tuesday and I'm back at work. Don't worry. This time I wore sunscreen (SPF 45) so I didn't burn. I didn't get any sun but I didn't burn.
How was the fishing? Didn't catch much. Drank a lot of beer. Threw back all I caught at the end of both days because it wasn't worth keeping. In other words, I had a friggin blast. Well I came back to a proverbial sh*t storm today. The other guy that I work with covering service for a major account is in flight to Italy right now. He won't be back for two weeks and left about five calls not handled and four calls not returned. On top of that, the phone has been ringing off the hook all damn day. So I'm busy.
So what's the good news besides the fact I went fishing? I can post a few pics from Crown & Sceptre. Here is one of Miniher and me before the festivities. I took a few pics during the party but none are good party pics.
So we jump from pre-party direct to post tequila shots. Here is a pic of of James Liles (Ptolemy flagbearer), Miniher, and Walker Robbins. Yeah, Miniher decided it would be a great idea to wear my tie on her head. I didn't mind.
Here is a pic of us a few minutes later. I think the tequila had started to kick in. And that's Kat in the background on the right. I don't know who she was pissed at then, but for a moment it wasn't me.
Miniher wanted a pic of a security guard. She started laughing as I took the pic and grabbed his gun. No you pervs, his pistol. Look at the pic.
Here is a pic of my sister with a Boll Weevil. You have no idea what a Boll Weevil is? They are a bunch of old guys who run around Carnival parties creating havoc. I just hope his other hand is somewhere appropriate.
Oh wait, where are the pics of me while I was drunk dancing? Ha! I may have been drunk. I may have been dancing. I may be a fool. But I was not going to get photographed while dancing...at least not on my own camera. I'm trying to remember, but I don't think anyone else got a pic of me dancing. God, I hope not.
Have a great one and don't get none on ya.
Songs on the Playlist:
Dean Martin & Jerry Lewis - Blow Me...A Kiss
Willie Nelson - Denver
The Grateful Dead - GDTRFB
Robert Randolph - I Need More Love
The Grateful Dead - Cumberland Blues
Bush - X-Girlfriend
Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby (cheesy, I know)
Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar On Me
Bob Dylan - Like A Rolling Stone
How was the fishing? Didn't catch much. Drank a lot of beer. Threw back all I caught at the end of both days because it wasn't worth keeping. In other words, I had a friggin blast. Well I came back to a proverbial sh*t storm today. The other guy that I work with covering service for a major account is in flight to Italy right now. He won't be back for two weeks and left about five calls not handled and four calls not returned. On top of that, the phone has been ringing off the hook all damn day. So I'm busy.
So what's the good news besides the fact I went fishing? I can post a few pics from Crown & Sceptre. Here is one of Miniher and me before the festivities. I took a few pics during the party but none are good party pics.
So we jump from pre-party direct to post tequila shots. Here is a pic of of James Liles (Ptolemy flagbearer), Miniher, and Walker Robbins. Yeah, Miniher decided it would be a great idea to wear my tie on her head. I didn't mind.
Here is a pic of us a few minutes later. I think the tequila had started to kick in. And that's Kat in the background on the right. I don't know who she was pissed at then, but for a moment it wasn't me.
Miniher wanted a pic of a security guard. She started laughing as I took the pic and grabbed his gun. No you pervs, his pistol. Look at the pic.
Here is a pic of my sister with a Boll Weevil. You have no idea what a Boll Weevil is? They are a bunch of old guys who run around Carnival parties creating havoc. I just hope his other hand is somewhere appropriate.
Oh wait, where are the pics of me while I was drunk dancing? Ha! I may have been drunk. I may have been dancing. I may be a fool. But I was not going to get photographed while dancing...at least not on my own camera. I'm trying to remember, but I don't think anyone else got a pic of me dancing. God, I hope not. Have a great one and don't get none on ya.
Songs on the Playlist:
Dean Martin & Jerry Lewis - Blow Me...A Kiss
Willie Nelson - Denver
The Grateful Dead - GDTRFB
Robert Randolph - I Need More Love
The Grateful Dead - Cumberland Blues
Bush - X-Girlfriend
Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby (cheesy, I know)
Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar On Me
Bob Dylan - Like A Rolling Stone
6/05/2006
I Will Miss You
This past Saturday, the Lord received back one of the greatest people who has ever walked this planet. A woman who was very close to myself and my family passed away after a long battle with cancer. She was a loving wife and a wonderful mother of three great children: Matthew, Thomas, and sweet Katherine. I grew up going to elementary school with Matthew. Thomas is a few years younger than us. Katherine has grown up as one of my sister's best friends. This family is one of the nicest bunch of folks I have ever had the privilege to know. And their mother was quite possibly the nicest, most loving person who has ever been a part of my life. She always had a kind word for everyone. She would give you a hug that would make everything better. Despite her diagnosis she always had a smile and showed nothing but courage.
Susan, you were always a positive influence in my life. I will always cherish the memories I have of you and your family. From my time as a child to an adult, you always treated me so well and made my life better. I know I speak for many people when I say you touched our lives and you will be missed.
We will see you in heaven.
Susan, you were always a positive influence in my life. I will always cherish the memories I have of you and your family. From my time as a child to an adult, you always treated me so well and made my life better. I know I speak for many people when I say you touched our lives and you will be missed.
We will see you in heaven.
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