"Run along, dear. (smack!) Man talk."

I think I know what I'm going to do Friday night. Ok, so I can quote this movie from start to finish (almost), but to see it on the Orpheum's big screen would be badass. But I don't think I'm busting out the tux for it. Of course I do have to go into work for a few hours Saturday morning so I don't know what I'll do exactly, but this is probably it.

"My name is Pussy Galore."

"I must be dreaming."


"It's an optical illusion. It's the pattern on the pants."

Who the hell has my Anchorman DVD? It's been missing for a few weeks and I have no idea where the hell it is. Who's hiding it?


Mighty Mite Medal

Here are a couple of pics of the medal I got. On the front side is the name and logo of the race:
On the back side it says "Triathlon Finisher."


Mighty Mite Recap

So as you regular readers all know, I did my first triathlon yesterday at the Mighty Mite Triathlon in Forrest City, AR. I had a blast. It was a .3 mile swim, 13 mile bike ride, and 3 mile run. I did what I went to do which was finish. Not only did I finish, but I finished in under 2 hours. My overall time was 1 hour 49 minutes 50 seconds. I'll break down the details below for you at the end. First here's how the day started:

I woke up at 3:55 AM and hit the snooze button. Finally got out of bed after 4:10 and grabbed my gear. Had a quick breakfast and headed out. I noticed that there was a nice foggy mist throughout Memphis as I drove through town. I had the iPod playing random to wake up before putting it on a "get ready to do a competition" mix which was mostly heavy metal (Metallica, GNR, White Zombie). Basically fast, loud, aggressive music that would put me in the mental zone I needed. As I crossed the Mississippi River, I noticed that the fog appeared to have lifted. It hadn't. About the point where I-55 and I-40 meet, the fog popped back up. It was so think I couldn't see two car lengths in front of me. Always great driving conditions when you're speeding down I-40 and can't see a car until it's right in front of you. Just before I got to Crowley's Ridge, the fog lifted. I pulled into and walked around like a deer in head lights. Everyone else knew each other and seemed to know what the hell was going on. I registered and was ready to do my thing. I was about to walk out of the registration area when a lady stopped me to write my numbers on my arms and legs. I'm number 323 for the rest of the day.

I grabbed my gear and changed into the tri shorts I'd have the rest of the day. I headed to the starting point, 13 miles down the road in an Arkansas state park. Most triathlons have the same start/finish area. This one was different. It started and finished 16 miles apart. You start with the swim course, head to the first transition area (T1), do the bike course, head to the second transition area (T2), and run to the finish line. They started us in waves at the swim course. The first wave was Men under 40, then Men 40 and over, then women and relay teams, and finally all beginners. I'm obviously in the beginner category. They put everyone along the shoreline of this lake and have a mass chaotic beginning. There were people literally swimming over me. This one bi-otch kept cutting in front of me over and over no matter how many times I tried to get out from behind her. I guess she had some sonar built into her ass or something. Anyhoo, I get to the first turn and make a wide turn to get out of the crowd so I can finally hit my stride without having to stop every 5 seconds when I hit someone's feet. I get to the shore and head into the first transition area where I had my bike stationed. I dry my feet with my doo rag that I wear under my helmet before taking off.

The bike course was along Crowley's Ridge. I had the worst bike there. I'm not joking I actually did. I thought it was an old bike that belonged to the brother. Turns out it is my sister's old bike, an old Target Huffy mountain bike. So not only was it a girl's bike that was too small for me, but it was heavy as hell which made the uphills really difficult. My bike time was horrible, but I wasn't too focused on that. I really just enjoyed the country side and the view along the way. Yeah it sucked having people pass me all the time especially the 12 year old girl in the first mile (don't worry, I passed her 5 minutes later). The bike was probably the most scenic part of it. We got to ride past a peach orchard, but the best site was when I had been focusing on the white line on the road for so long trying to just power up this incline. I finally got to the top and reached down for my water bottle. I took a sip and looked around to find myself alone at this crest along the ridge. This was one of the few spots along the way without woods so I was surrounded on all sides with just a few fields and a beautiful sky above me. You wouldn't believe how breathtaking it was. It wasn't anything spectacular, but at that moment, it was one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen.

I finally finished the bike portion when I got to the second transition. I jogged out of there and took off down the road. Having pedalled so much for the previous thirteen miles I was worn out. I could job, but my quads were so weak that I could hardly lift my feet for the first quarter mile. I finally got my strength back and started down the road to the finish on some more rolling hills. I was at the peak of one hill when this police officer told me it was all down hill the rest of the way (he was being nice because there were two more little inclines in the last mile). But I started passing all these people who kicked my butt on the bike course. As I rounded a corner into the heart of Forrest City there were families on their porches or in their yards cheering us on. One man was sitting in a lawn chair with a hose. He'd put a mist in the air for you to run through. I told him that God definitely had a special place in heaven for him. I went over a little hill just after that and saw the finish line. Then I remembered someone at the water station at the two mile mark saying that once you see the finish line you have another block to go. By this point I was really running. I came around the final corner of the block in what felt like a sprint (probably still jogging though) and as I crossed a sensor point the guy on the PA system yells out "And finishing his first triathlon ever, it's Philip (my name with an added nickname he thought was funny)." FYI they let you velcro a computer chip to your leg so they know how long you took on each portion of the race and transition areas.

After I crossed the finish line, I headed over to the gatorade cooler before finding the people I met as well as some other friends who did triathlons. I hung out for a bit before someone asked where my medal was. Turns out all beginners got medals. I'll post the pictures later.

Overall I had a blast and can't wait to do the next one or two in August. I always thought this was an almost impossible goal to reach but I did it. I'm really proud of myself and of this new hobby I've chosen. Everyone I talked to about it said it was a huge commitment, but honestly, it's not that big of a commitment. I just cut out a few things I used to do. I'm eating healthier and working out more than going to the bar. Some people may think that is a bad trade, but honestly, I'm in better shape than I've been for the last three or four years. Plus I still go out to party and my tolerance hasn't gone down. Sounds like a win-win situation to me.

Anyhoo, for those of you who want my time intervals there below this paragraph. Have a great week.

Of the 53 male beginners, I placed 42nd overall. On the swim course I placed 11th out of 53. On the bike course I placed 48th. On the run course I placed 17th.
My swim time was 10:57 for .3 miles.
My first transition time was 5:59 - I really took my time getting ready and drying my feet before putting on socks and shoes. Turns out that was smart because a lot of people who didn't wipe their feet had wet socks and rocks on their feet from the walk/run from the water to their bikes.
My bike time was 1:04:11 for 13 miles (12.2 miles per hour)
My second transition time was 2:50.
My run time was 25:54 for 3 miles (8:38 minutes per mile average).
My overall time was 1:49:50.
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