Now, on to Saturday evening. If your Saturday involved a lot of heavy drinking, raise your hand.
Good. Saturday evening I went with the Shady Hasbeen, Shady Lady V, and HM to see Walrus play at the Blue Monkey. It was a great show. I really like the addition of the keyboard. I wish they could put it in with all the songs. Anywho, we met up at Shady Lady V’s place before hand, and she fixed dinner for us. And then she was the DD. I really think someone was trying to get brownie points. I’m not going to recap the whole evening. I’ll tell you that we did run into a ton of folks there: Goose, the Friggin D, DC & GC, King Trip (sans his lovely wife), JD, Capt Dave, and a few other folks. All of a sudden I can’t remember who all was there. Here are a few pics:
Somebody decided to show us a trick. We eventually got a straw so people who were starving of thirst could have drink. Aren't helpful people the best?The Shady Hasbeen told me that if certain things weren't done, she'd never talk to me again. So I obliged her kind request.We have a couple of shady ladies being stalked by some crazy guy. No one is sure who he is, but we do know that he stalked Ptolemy's Queen Laura all year long. And for some reason, she put up with it. Hm...
We also started a new game. Now let me preface this by saying this is not a reflection on the Blue Monkey. This is a reflection on the sudden influx of new people at the better watering holes around town. The game is called “Find the Coke Whore!” It’s really easy to play. You need to be in a bar (say the Blue Monkey) on a Friday or Saturday night around 1 or 2 in the morning. Closer to 1AM is the best time to start it. You basically look around the bar and point out the first Coke Whore (urban dictionary definition link) you see. You know the Coke Whore is the girl (or guy sometimes) who shows up at the bar when everyone is starting to really wind down (or really get crazy). They float from one group of strangers to the next looking for anyone who wants to “party.” They are usually dressed very sexy/scantily-clad/slutty/whatever-you-want-to-call-it. Here are a few pics of examples:
Ok to be honest, this last pic came from some art contest thing I found on google. I think it may be staged, but she looks like a damn coke whore. And there's a little coke there. So here's the link to the page (note there may be nude pics on there; I'm not sure). Now I'm not saying the women in these pictures are coke whores, but they show characteristics of them (in the pics).
We had so much fun playing our game that we actually had other people come over to see what we were laughing about. They ended up playing too. Unfortunately I couldn’t take a pic of the winning Coke Whore because she would never get away from her shady friend. He kept eyeing us, and we really didn’t want to fight a coke head. But I did get a pic of this guy instead. He’s not a coke head. He just has a really badass shirt. I'm not sure who he was a fan of, but I'm sure of who he doesn't like. Isn't football season great?
So after a long weekend of football, one must look back and say “What the hell!?!” Yeah, my beloved Ole Miss Rebels lost to the Kentucky Wildcats. Bad. Turnovers and penalties killed us. Everytime we started to get a little momentum, we’d F it up somehow. Oh well, misery loves company, so I’m very happy to remind you that Memphis lost to East Carolina, Tennessee lost to Florida, and Mississippi State lost to Tulane. Wait. Does Tulane even have a football team? I thought their university president was trying to get rid of football there? Damn.
Well to be a good sport I give you a few football jokes:
A high school senior goes to his school guidance counselor and says “I’d like to go to a religious sponsored school.”
The counselor says “well, are you Catholic?”
The boy says “No, I’m not.”
The counselor says “then you can’t go to Notre Dame. Are you Methodist?”
“No,” the boy replies.
“Well then you can’t go to SMU. Are you Baptist?” the counselor asks.
“No, I’m not,” the boy replies.
“Well you can’t go to Baylor either,” the counselor says.
The boy says “well, I’ll be a no good son of a bitch.”
The counselor says “I think I can get you into LSU.”
A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Mississippi State jersey and helmet, and has a small cowbell hanging under his neck.
The bartender says, "Hey! No pets are allowed! You'll have to leave."
The guy begs him, "Look, I'm desperate! We're both big fans, the TV's broken at home, and this is the only place around where we can see the game."
After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him thathe and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.
The big game begins with MSU receiving the kickoff. They march down field, get stopped at the 30, and kick a field goal.
Suddenly, the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone.
The bartender says, "Wow, that's the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if they score a touchdown?"
The owner replies, "I don't know, I've only had him for three years."