So last night was Cigar Night on the ol' social calendar. Why is that relevant? Because I didn't watch the elimination show until after 12. And the internet hookup is in the roommate's office which is shut when he goes to bed. So I'm doing a basic recap without notes from last night's show...which I mostly fast forwarded through because I was ready to go to bed.
Lukas got the nod for the chance to sing the third Supernova song. I heard the name, but it wasn't anything worth remembering. What I do remember is how he was a little incoherent and he gargled his words through the song. He looked good with the band, but sounded like shit...as usual. Did anyone else notice that they had to use a keyboard player. How are you supposed to get by without a keyboard player in your band when you have keyboard songs? Maybe they should audition for a keyboard player. Doesn't make sense to me.
Then it was time for the encore performance which they gave to our favorite Aussie, Toby Rand. He sang Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell." He didn't pull anyone on stage, but ran around through the crowd and got them singing. He even ran to the back and the producers had to turn on the house lights to find him for the cameras. That was funny. It was pretty good.
When it came time for the bottom three potentials, Brook Burke called everyone's name...except Magni. Hell yeah!
Ryan Star was the first rocker called out. He sang The Who's "Baba O'Reilly" or as you probably know it: Teenage Wasteland. It wasn't that good. His vocals were all over the place. He was more interested in running around the stage and climbing on speakers than actually singing the song.
A very happy Storm Large was the next rocker to be called into the bottom three. She did The Beatles' "Helter Skelter." I have to admit, it was my least favorite performance of hers. Yeah, she went all punk and crazy dropping the sweet soft side of Storm crap she's been forced to do with all these damn ballads. But I really would rather her sing well when she performs this type of song. I heard her voice crack a few times I think before I fast forwarded through the performance (yeah, I did it on each singer, don't worry).
Dilana came up last to sing the Talking Heads' "Psycho Killer." I really wasn't that interested in her performance and started to fast forward through it when I realized something. She's more of a damn hippie chick than a rocker. She had the long skirt. She sang without shoes. She jumped around. I don't know, but it really came across as a hippie to me. Plus I've heard over the net that before she did Rockstar:Tommy Lee's Unit that she was more into Melissa Ethridge type stuff than heavy rock. Hmm...I guess she can't hide her true style forever.
In the end, Tommy "The Tripod" Lee said they cut Ryan. At that point I fast forwarded to the end of the episode. I didn't care about the goodbyes and all that crap. I just wanted to sleep.
So did I miss anything? What did you think about it?
Personally I'd rather see the smoke than not use the flash on the hand.
Happy HNT yall
If you're playing, let Obasso know.
Five days folks! Five days until college football starts in Oxford. I can freakin' taste the excitement. Maybe that's the bourbon, we'll actually the taste of college football is bourbon at least if you went to college in the South. Do schools up North even know what bourbon is? I mean hell, don't y'all mix Jim with Pepsi? That is a fuckin' crime in my opinion! Yeah I'll take a Jack and Pepsi please! Are you fuckin' kidding me! It's called a bourbon and coke for a reason damnit! Then again that's why y'alls pastime is college basketball, and y'all can't even dominate that sport, the South wins that too! Anyways, enough about that shit. Football time is here! Girls get out the dresses, high heels and the Louis, the big one too, you know the one that can hold like three fifths! Yeah that one. Guys bust out the blazer with multiple inside pockets for multiple flasks, or airplane bottles, how ever you want to roll. Make sure to take it to the dry cleaners because it probably smells like Jim from last season that you spilt all over yourself because you were thrashing your stadium cup around while yelling at the team for the piss poor performance that was last season. At least let it have the chance to stink of fresh bourbon poured on you from the charge of empty airplane bottles and stadium cups flying towards the end zone after another glorious touchdown scored by our beloved Rebels! So with that said, lets raise'em up to a great season for everyone who loves college ball. May your team win every game, your date be the most gorgeous girl on campus and the flask never go empty, or at least till the end of the game when you can go back to the tent and refill! To my Rebels, Hotty Toddy, and the rest of you, call me when you actually get dressed up for a football game! Until then you are still a bunch of rookies!...Old Times They Are Not Forgotten!
Nicely done, sir! You know what else I love about going to games? The fun at the tent. I used to bring my friends around when I was in school. The brother did the same thing. And now the sister brings all of her friends around. She mostly brings freshmen and sophomore girls. And I love that. We also have different themes for each game. It started initially with Oktoberfest where we had a bunch of German Oktoberfest beer. Then last year, I came up with a "coonass theme" which was turned into the more politically correct "Wild Game and Cajun" theme. We also have "Mexifest" where we have TexMex type food and margaritas.
This year we have a few more things to add to each one AND one or two more themes. Check out these pics to understand. After all a picture is worth a thousand words.
This is myself, the sister, TP, and the brother. This is TP and the sister at a later game.This is the spread at the Wild Game and Cajun themed dinner. Hungry?Here I am with DP and Hanky Panky. I was just a few weeks into growing the winter beard. I think we were about midway through November so that's about a two week growth. I believe this was the Wild Game dinner.Here I am with two of my future ex-wives, Allison and Sunny. They were being typical 19 year old girls and I decreed that they were going to be my first two ex-wives, but they had to figure out who would be the first and who would be the second ex-wife. It was a joke, but to this day they still fight over it.
Can you guess what we have planned for the game this Sunday against Tiger High? I'm not going to spoil the surprise. I'll tell you Sunday/Monday in the recap.
Oh yeah, if you're wondering what else is going on this weekend, Lord T & Eloise have their first gig Saturday night at the High Tone. Be there to experience Aristocrunk at its friggin finest.
And that's all I'm going to say about that. We started the show off with a look back at the week since the Elimination Show. Most of it was in the webisode though. My roommate did make the comment that he is convinced that Dilana is a dude after hearing her cry. Then he said "Postscript: she needs more cigarettes." I thought that was funny enough to include and then he dropped this bomb: "Hey, she may be the Marlboro Man!" Yeah, he said that.
Onto the performances! The first was Lukas with Nirvana's "Lithium." He rearranged with with piano at the beginning and heavy piano throughout. He sounded decent at the beginning vocally, then he started gargling the words again and again. Please, I am begging you. DO NOT VOTE FOR LUKAS! I hate that. The roommate agrees: "he can't sing." He kept saying that throughout the whole performance. But the judges liked it. And the idiots in the country probably will too.
Next up was the Icelandic badass Magni. The editors showed a little bit of an interview with him. He said "I know that if I'm in the bottom three for a third time, I'm going home. So I'm campaigning." Then he told Australia, Canada, and America why they should vote for him instead of their own citizens: Toby, Lukas, and Ryan respectively. It was really funny. He sang Live's "I Alone." It was pretty good until he went into the crowd and it became phenomenal. And you know what, the vein in his head did pop out! It was a great job. Some of the best vocals I've heard on the show. And that says a lot considering that English is a second language for him. Dave Navarro said "That boy can sing!" No shit, Sherlock. Gilby said that he "gave that extra something tonight." Yes, you did Magni. And you kicked its ass!
Ryan Star came on stage next to do Coldplay's "Clocks." He had a very slow and mellow entry on the piano. As I wrote those very words in my notes, he jumped on top of the GRAND PIANO. Holy crap! He was full of energy, but his singing wasn't that great when he was running around. But he did slide across the top of the piano for the bridge "Dukes of Hazzard style" according to the roommate. It was pretty good, but I feel, like Jason Newstead, that he loses some of his draw and some of his focus when he gets out from behind the piano. Jason said "it's like you've lost the plot." Great metaphor.
One of my favorites, Storm Large, came out next to sing Evanescence's "Bring Me To Life." She asked Toby to back her up on vocals for the male part. He kicked ass. So did she. The roommate and I both loved her performance. The vocals are much higher than her usual range which made it even more impressive. I do feel that Toby took a little of her spotlight though. I told the roommate "she's got some fucking pipes, dude." I really like her voice and the intensity she puts in her performances, but I don't think she'll make it to the end. Gilby Clarke said that he remembers Jill's performance from a few weeks earlier on the same song, but "I won't remember this." Gilby is retarded. Jill wasn't that good. I already forgot it.
Toby Rand, our Aussie favorite and new catch phrase generator ("EVS!"), sang Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell" immediately after helping Storm. Nice job, mate! We really liked it. Then he suddenly pulled these girls onto the stage with him. They were going nuts and dancing (we later saw they had "EVS" written on their hands). I noticed his shirt said "Memphis, TN" and after a closer look saw that it said "Richland" on top and "Memphis, TN" on the bottom of the crest. Does anyone know where or what that is? Oh yeah, we thought it was a great performance. I think he's safe this week.
Dilana Smith came to finish the show. Has anyone else noticed how they don't say her whole name anymore? She sang Tracy Bonham's "Mother Mother." She did well and brought intensity to it. The ending was badass. The roommate put it best: "I didn't think it was that good until she headbutted the microphone." Yeah, she did that. It was pretty cool.
So it's time to reveal the bottom three. This time I'm doing it differently though. The roommate and I both came up with lists of who we want to be in the final bottom three and who we think will be the bottom three. Turns out we had the same answers on the "think" one.
First, who he wants in the bottom three:
Who I want in the bottom three:
Who we think will be in the bottom three:
Now here is the initial Bottom Three after the first few minutes of world wide voting (I sound like Brook Burke!):
Have a good one. I'll be back tomorrow with the recap of the Elimination Show.
The rockers were at the mansion eating a post-Elimination Show meal. It was awkwardly silent. Storm toasted Patrice Pike (the last rocker to be eliminated). Then she jokingly toasted "Dilana's first spanking." Wow, that was funny. And that too a lot of balls. Dilana stayed mostly quiet. Obviously she's realized how much she screwed up. They were prodding her with questions about it and she basically said that she's told the truth for her whole life, and it's hard to stop doing that overnight. Ryan said "I know who I am. I have to sleep with myself at night. I don't talk bad about people." And it just kept going too.
The editors cut to a scene where she is sitting outside and Lukas is trying to comfort her. She notices the cameras coming over and loses it. She starts to charge the camera. Magni and Lukas stop her. She walks away and throws down her glass on the concrete in anger. A piece jumps up and cuts Magni's head. Fortunately it missed the giant vein on the side of his head so he didn't die or anything. That crap continued for a while. She was apologizing left and right and people were trying to help Magni who basically didn't want/need any help to fix the cut.
Then they had a photoshoot for In Touch magazine. I've never heard of that magazine. The only "In Touch" magazine I know of is this Christian magazine that a coworker reads. Anyway they had this annoying French photographer. Storm kicked ass. Of course she did. She's a former model as she said. Don't believer her? Check out this and this. Beware because there are a few nudie pics there. Magni wasn't any good, or as he said "I'm not Harrison Ford." Dude, he's Indiana f-ing Jones, not a model. Dilana was all sad through the shoot, but slowly came out of her funk. Does anyone know what the hell was up with the dry-ice fog? That was kinda stupid.
Then it was time for the song selection...from the "Gigundous Computer." Thanks for that quote, Storm. Yes, it is Fan Selection Week on Rockstar:Tommy Lee's Unit. So here's your spoiler. Stop now if you want to be surprised because we got to see everyone's songs.
Have you stopped reading yet? I didn't think so.
Lukas Rossi, our resident Lemur King, got Nirvana's "Lithium." That's going to be tough because it was Dilana's first song that set her above everyone else. He actually wondered if he could show up Dilana. That would be cool, but he'll probably gargle his way through the song.
Toby Rand got Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell."
Magni (without a visible scar, by the way) got Live's "I Alone."
Storm got Evanescence's "Bring Me To Life." Did I spell the band's name right? Anywho, she mentioned that it was a very hard song to sing. At least it's not much of a ballad. Or is it? I don't think it is, but I could be wrong.
Ryan Star got Coldplay's "Clocks." A fan made a comment that they love his falsetto, and he can use it here. He was blown away, because they basically told him what they wanted him to do. He said it was like he didn't really have to think hard about it now. All he has to do is perfect it.
Dilana got Tracy Bonham's "Mother Mother."
So we are left with a few questions as we prepare for tonight's show:
Will Dilana bounce back? Will Lukas be able to show up Dilana? Will Tommy have another bad cheesy line? Will anyone run naked around the pool again now that Dilana is breaking glass?
Songs on my Playlist:
The Beatles - Sun King
Lynyrd Skynyrd - Saturday Night Special
The Doobies Brothers - Drift Away
The Monkees - Daydream Believer
Van Halen - I'm The One
U2 - Red Hill Mining Town
The Who - Magic Bus
Aerosmith - Same Old Song and Dance
So enough of that crap, let’s start off recapping Friday night. I get home from the pool about 7-ish. The SRVS fundraiser starts at 7:30 (I didn’t get there until 8:40). I jump in the shower and get dressed.
I called a cab. Apparently not all of the customer service folks there understand English. I understood her, but she was a little slow. I said “P-H-I-L-WOOD”. She kept trying to find “T-H-I-L-WOOD.” I even did the “Paul-Harry-India-Larry” thing. She didn’t get it. That was a waste of a good ten minutes. Then her supervisor called me back and said they were having trouble finding “THILWOOD.” I said it was Philwood and he said “oh, I know where that is. We’re cool.” Yes, yall are cool. Now send her back to kindergarten and we’ll be a lot cooler.
As soon as I get off the phone, I realized that I hadn’t eaten anything, but a hamburger for lunch. I made myself a quick turkey sandwich (bread, meat, cheese, and mustard). The cab pulled up and I headed on. The driver was cool. He was just telling stories of drunks in his cab (most of which I could never post because they were so good/indecent). I pull up and head in.
I start running into all kinds of folks I know. There were family friends there and Ptolemy friends. Kat and her friends were there. HM was working at one of the booths. I ran into one of the folks we tailgate with. He mentioned that they had a few Ole Miss footballs on the silent auction (they also had Tennessee and Tiger High stuff). I went down there to find three Ole Miss footballs: one signed by the new quarterback Brent Schaeffer, one by All-Badass linebacker Patrick Willis, and one by the entire coaching staff. They had a ton of other stuff from the Cardinals and the Grizzlies as well as all other kinds of pro-athletes. All I wanted was the P-Willie football or the coaches football. I got both. How? Well it was a silent auction. I put down my bid number and walked away. They announced over the speakers that we had 30 seconds until they were pulling the bid sheets. I walk back to find that I am winning the coaches’ ball, but there is some lady writing her number below mine on the P-Willie sheet. I stand there and wait as she turns to walk away. I walk up and write my number down. She asks “are you trying to outbid me?” I replied, “yes ma’am, I am. Sorry.” She comes back with “well, I just had two sons graduate from Ole Miss.” I said “well ma’am, I graduated four years ago. My brother graduated this year, and my sister is in school there as we speak.” She said “oh…” and walked away. Sorry. So I won two footballs instead of just one.
After that, I walked back over to where some friends were and then I saw Jerry “The King” Lawler. So I got my pic taken with him. Yes, I look pale next to him, but then again I don't spend any time in a tanning bed. And I don't have the Superman curl. But you know what? I'm still sexier than he is.
Then we kept drinking. Here’s how the fundraiser went (after one sandwich and nothing else to eat): wine, wine, beer, wine, wine, wine, beer, beer, champagne, wine, champagne, champagne, wine, and wine. I don’t know if that is the exact count, but that’s about the right ratio. How I didn’t get sick, I will never know. So I was going to call a cab and take the footballs home. Well Kat and her friends insisted (I think) that they could give me a ride to Brookhaven and we could put the footballs in the truck where they’d be safe. As soon as we walked up to the car, KC started throwing a sales pitch at me. Apparently she wants to sell her Volvo. So there was an ongoing sales pitch the entire way to the bar. I guess “no, I don’t want to buy your f-ing car; I like my truck” doesn’t automatically count as a no. The only reason I mention this is because she couldn’t take the key out of the ignition when we parked it. Literally. We park and she can’t take it out. So I’m standing there, intoxicated, listening to three women try to figure out how to turn off a car and take out the key. I really can’t make this shit up. After about three minutes, I say “look, I’ll show you how to do this.” I get in the driver’s seat, back the car out of the space, pull back in, DOWNSHIFT THE GEARS ON HER AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSION, put it in park, turn off the ignition, and remove the key. They were all dumbfounded. I think when they asked how I did it, I mentioned something about it being tied to the Y chromosome or something. I went inside to find the Shady Lady and the Shady Hasbeen. Brown and Elise were also inside. She and I were supposed to get a pic together because she’s dying to make it on here, but that never happened.
Now let me say that between the beer at Brookhaven, the shots I ordered, the Red Bull and vodka, AND the wine at the wine tasting, I blacked out some point at Brookhaven. I’ve remembered a few things, and have been told about many. So to make it easy (on my memory) I’m going to post a few pics and tell what’s happening. I’ll include a few stories that I remember.
Ok, because Blogger is messing up, I'm only posting two pics. This first was is me holding a dollar. APPARENTLY I thought it was a good idea to dance with a dollar in my mouth. I need to stop drinking so much.
Here is a pic a Newby's that I don't remember. I really need to stop drinking so damn much. Saturday night: I apparently missed a lot of drama among married women and shady single women. Thank God. I ended up recovering all day Saturday and blew off all parties Saturday night. I went over to HM’s house. He had cooked a badass pot roast. After that we headed to another house. Then I cut out and went home to bed.
Sunday was uneventful. I did catch Beerfest. It was good. I can’t tell if it was better than Talladega Nights or not. But I recommend going to see both. You’ll like Beerfest if you liked Super Troopers.
Apparently Mississippi State is in trouble for recruiting violations with their cheerleader squad. They allowed some young ladies to join without clearance from the NCAA Clearinghouse:
Plus she stole a box of milk. That's why the cops were called.