Hi, My Name is Determination

Well hello there Determination. My name is Philip and I am bored. It is 7:08 at night and I am still at the office. I have been up since 7 this morning so 11 of the 12 hours I've been awake have been at work. But hey, I need to be here so I'm not that pissed. I'll be pissed if I'm here tomorrow after 1, but I'll deal with it. I love this blog thing because I can bitch and not have to dump it on anyone. If you don't want to read my bitching rant you can just not read a particular post.

Soon (God, please let it be soon) I will rush home and shower. Then I'll head up to Newby's for two events. The first is a party for graduate brothers (alumni) thrown by the Memphis chapter of my Fraternity. The second is a Phoenix Club fundraiser concert with Ingram Hill. At this moment, I'm not entirely enthused about either reason I'm going there. I'm looking forward to walking into the damn bar and yelling "Yo bartender, Jo-Boo needs a refill!" If you are so culturally clueless that you don't know what movie I am quoting, I'll led you in:

Major League

If you've never seen it, I recommend you take back whatever chick flick you and your significant other got at the movie store or ordered from Netflix. Get Major League, sit down, and laugh your fat ass off. Laughing is better for you than crying. No, I'm not a doctor, but it is common sense. If you watch a sad, dramatic movie, you are very sensitive and have a strong urge to look inward in an attempt to grow as a person (blah blah blah). If you watch a great comedy, you will (obviously) laugh and smile. And what kind of person do we want to be around more: a person who is smiling or someone who needs to change their emotion tampon? (was that too harsh? if so, go to a PETA fundraiser, you Politically Correct wimp)

So I'm going to put up a few great comedies you need to watch if you haven't seen them:
Blazing Saddles
Something About Mary
Young Frankenstein
Space Balls
Some Like It Hot
Old School
Animal House
Coming To America
Christmas Vacation
Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail
The Great Outdoors
The Blues Brothers
Kelly's Heroes
The Ladies Man
Office Space
Wedding Crashers
40 Year Old Virgin
Van Wilder

That should be enough flicks. Go laugh and make everyone around you happier by your friggin change in personality.

I'm outta here. "Bartender, Jo-Boo needs a refill!"

Songs on the Playlist:
Scorpions - Winds of Change
Stone Temple Pilots - Lady Picture Show
Bob Marley - Three Little Birds
Bob Dylan - One of Us Must Know (Sooner or Later)


Not WOW!, but wow

That was a very unenthusiastic "wow".
What is wrong?
Either I need to be shot or Paris Hilton does.
What's wrong this time Philip?
I just saw this video on Break.com. Paris Hilton sings 'Happy Birthday' to Hef. How does this no-talent assclown stay in the spot light? I hate this society sometimes. The only thing she has ever done to contribute to society is screw on camera. That is it.
I bet if she had been in the Garden of Eden, she wouldn't have needed the snake to tell her to eat the forbidden fruit. She'd have eaten it just to screw mankind over.
Why are you so cynical about her? Where does this hatred come from?
She is constantly watched and worshipped and hasn't accomplish anything besides giving some guy a little head. She has no talent yet pop culture America follows her every move. We need a collective slap to the face for that. She is nothing but a waste of oxygen. Tell her when she's ready to give me back my rib to call me.

Songs on the Playlist:
Palo Alto - Naked Sorority Girls (this is a college band from my days at Ole Miss; they lasted about a year and half but had this hit on the college circuit)
Bob Dylan - Stuck Inside of Mobile With the Memphis Blues Again


Ch Ch Ch Changes

God that is a cheesy title.

Ok so what's different here? I'll give you a quick recap of how I screwed the pooch and then saved the day:

I was posting my HNT (Half Nekkid Thursday post) and looking at other people's posts at the same time. There is one guy who is kind of the guru/head honcho of the HNT. I forget his site (sorry dude). So I was looking at his site through someone else's when I noticed he had HNT links that I could put on my page which would link to his and therefore link to all other HNT participants. Sounded like an OK idea at the time.

So I copied his source code and made the specific changes to it for my Template (if you have no idea what I'm talking about, just nod your head and keep reading. I don't know what I'm saying either). I hit Preview and a new window opened, but nothing ever came up. I closed that window and did it again. Now I'm frustrated. I close out and try to get out of it and somehow delete the entire ability to show anything on my blog. I finally realized that the only two ways to get this back up and running are either deleting the entire blog or trying to get a new template/background/whatever. So I tried the new background first. And that's great. But now I am f'ed because I have to remember how to do links again. And I have lost my tracker whic really pisses me off because I was getting between 70 and 90 hits a day lately. Oh well, I'll fix it all again. At least I was smart enough to print out the names of the links before I screwed this all up.

Can someone give me the source code for posting links in the template?



As in the post detailing my weekend, I mentioned fishing all day. If you can't tell from the pic taken Sunday, I got a little sun, and I wore a watch all damn day. It is now Thursday (Half Nekkid Thursday) and I still have spots on my arms that are red as hell.

Enjoy my pain and suffering bitches.

TomKitten Birth Footage


There has been a leak for the birth of TomKat's baby. Some Scientologist present at the birth has leaked this footage of the birth.

I am not one of those celebrity obsessed folks. I just don't understand how something like this gets so much press. How in the hell is this news? I think that anything like this deserves to be mocked as much as possible. All parties involved who perpetuate the hype and coverage (including the actors a.k.a. the media whores themselves, the print media, the television media, the radio media, and the paparazzi) should be tarred and feathered, twice in the same day. Again that suggestion is only for the individuals who perpetuate the hype over stupid shit like this.

Now "I Is Regusted"

I am sick. Physically sick. I don't have a virus. I don't have a bug. I have disgust. Let me pause before I explain what is below.

I never try to make this political. This isn't a shot at Democrats. This isn't about politics. This is a shot at the stupid voters in the Atlanta suburbs. I hereby extend to you a question to ponder:

What am I talking about? This story. They continually vote for a congresswoman who will ASSAULT A COP. Wow, I am stunned. But hey, I guess it is the same as the Fords being elected year after year from Memphis. So maybe I shouldn't be so surprised. I guess I am just embarassed for thinking that people can actually think for themselves.

Ok, I am stopping this before I start preaching.

Have a great day.

I Is Regusted

I feel worn out. I didn't fall asleep last night til well after 12 and rolled out of bed at 6:45. I'm probably not going to post many great things this week unless I feel some huge inspiration. We have inventory at work so I am staying late everyday this week busting my ass pushing papers and billing whatever needs to be done. I've been at work after 6 all week long and I'll be here Saturday too. Oh well, it only happens once a year.

I have a funny email conversation to relay to you. I got it from a friend who is going to be "arrested" for one of those fundraisers. She sent out a cute little email and asked everyone to donate a little so she could reach her goal of $500. I'm sure I'll help out, but I couldn't leave this one alone. Some of you may recognize my first comment because I accidentally hit 'reply all'. Oops. I'll start with my reply to her:

ME: How much can we pay to keep you there after you've made bail?
HER: You are so not funny!!
ME: Sorry I thought I had hit reply not reply all. But seriously, how much can I donate to keep you in there an extra hour? How much for overnight?
HER: You would really hate for me to have to stay overnight, wouldn't you?
ME: Not really because I'd probably hang outside the cage for a few hours after the deal was over eating a pizza and having a few beers while having a nice laugh. Then I'd probably leave and cut the lights out so you could get a full night sleep. But don't worry, I'd leave you some bread and water.
HER: you are so mean!
ME: Hey, my buddy was thinking about putting his girlfriend in this, but he wants to know if he can get a conjugal visit.

And she still hasn't responded to that question, so I guess the answer's no.
Happy Hump Day. Go get some!

Songs on the Playlist:
Willie Nelson & Waylon Jennings - Luckenbach, Texas
Robert Earl Keen - Walkin' Cane
Cory Morrow - Nashville Blues
Jimmy Buffett - Love And Luck
Robert Earl Keen - Think It Over One Time
Widespread Panic - The Take Out
Stone Temple Pilots - Interstate Love Song


Well congrats to Tom & Katie for their new little bundle of joy. Here is the unofficial pic of the bundle of joy this morning. They named the baby Surri. Kinda makes you wonder if that is short for 'Surrogate'. Hmm...
I wonder if the baby has started its Scientology brainwashing courses yet. Maybe they'll let it eat first. I think it may be hungry for YOUR SOULS!!!



Ok, here is what's on my calendar for the next several days:
Today: nothing
Wednesday: nothing
Thursday: Ptolemy Happy Hour at Cafe Ole' 6PM. We'll be around the bar or on the patio if it's not raining. Sorry the flyer didn't turn out better. I tried to stretch it out but it made everything look funky. Here is what it says:

Do you know who these people are? They are YOUR 2006 Ptolemy Royalty. Still don't recognize them? Well, come to this month's Happy Hour on April 20th at Cafe Ole in Cooper Young. We'll see if we can't make them drink margaritas and put on sombreros. Hey, what good are our royalty if we can't make them drink tequila and wear funny hats at a Mexican restaurant. So we'll be at Cafe Ole' at 6PM rain or shine. And so will you.
Happy Hour details: April 20 at 6PM. Cafe Ole' in Cooper Young. We will be around either the bar or on the patio (if it's not raining).
We are going to have a blast. Bring your hollow leg.

Friday: Phoenix Club fundraising concert at Newby's with Ingram Hill. I'll be at this.
INXS is also playing at the Orpheum.
Saturday: Jenny & Walker's Crawfish Boil (invite only) in the afternoon and at work in the morning.
The Grand Krewe of Luxor is having it's annual Oktoberfest fundraiser at Shelby Showplace Arena. I went to that last year and HAD A BLAST. I can't make it because I don't know when I'm going to be done with work. But I am heading to Jenny & Walker's Crawfish boil because I always have fun with them.
Sunday: Nurse hangover and watch TV
Monday (24th): Bob Dylan & Merle Haggard @ Orpheum (I'm not going because I'll be broke)
Tuesday (25th): ditto (ditto)
Wednesday (26th): Carnival Business & Industries Luncheon

Here are a few items of note in the far away future (more details later on each):
April 30 (Sunday) Ptolemy Poker Run
May 6 (Saturday) DP&AT's wedding
May 18-20 (Thursday - Saturday) Memphis In May Barbeque Fest!!!
June 2-10 (Friday - following Saturday) Carnival Memphis: 75th anniversary
June 16-18 (Friday - Sunday) Bonnaroo!!!

Songs on the Playlist:
Pink Floyd - On The Run
The Rolling Stones - Can't You Hear Me Knocking
Cream - Sunshine of Your Love
The Clash - Should I Stay Or Should Go
The Grateful Dead - Bertha
The Grateful Dead - Truckin'

Brokeback Mountain 2

Now this I will definitely see.


Complete Recap (very friggin long)

Ok, the last thing I posted was the fact that I did go to see Shooter Jennings at the Deli. And it was awesome. The roommate was covered up with beautiful women at the rooftop party. I was not at the Deli. But I had one hell of a time. So in the end that makes up for it.

Normally I go to shows and either like them or love them. I loved this show. How awesome was it? Bad ass. So great I actually bought his new cd, Electric Rodeo. It is awesome. Very Southern Rock/Country mix. I remember at the show he said all these cool things and sang all these cool songs, but I didn't post them the next day and now I've forgotten them. One thing I do remember is I kept thinking how the bass player reminded me of Jimmy Page. Like in the early Zeppelin years. It was funny to me. Whatever.

But the next time Shooter Jennings comes around town, I'm going. No questions. In case you haven't seen Walk the Line or do know what Shooter looks like if you have seen it, here's a pic: So that was Thursday night. Friday was work and then going to bed early. Why because I went fishing on Saturday. Why did I behave myself? Because I had to be at HM's house at 6 in the morning. His buddies from college Big Mike and O brought a boat and we were all over the lake. So Friday night, I came home and tore apart my room looking for a DU comittee shirt that we got last year that is basically a fly-fishing shirt. I was going to wear that, but I never found it. So I went to Bass Pro Shop off I40 to buy a new one. I bought two and a new pair of fisherman's shorts. They are awesome. The next morning as I took a shower before running out of the house, I realized that I was making a rookie mistake. I'm going to a lake to fish with an entirely new outfit. Wow. That stills sounds lame when I typed it. Oh well F that. I looked good and I had fun. What else do I care?

Here are two great pics I took before we got on the water:

So we were on the water between 7:15 and 7:30. We didn't get off the water until about 2. We had a great time, but the wind was gusting from 20 to 30 mph so there were only a few places we could go where we weren't being beaten to death by the waves and wind. And of course those areas only had fish smaller than 10 inches (don't ask how we measured) or garr (spelling?). If you don't know what a garr is, imagine a fish left over from the dinosaur times. Think about that:

teeth, attitude, will bite off any bit of you it can, doesn't take good.

Sounds a lot like your ex-wife/ex-husband doesn't it? Fortunately we never had a hook in a garr well enough to get it to the boat. So afterwards we went to fish off the piers there for about an hour. After 5 minutes I was bored so I grabbed a lawn chair and walked up the hill to some shade under a magnolia and took a nice nap until the bugs started messing with me. We fished there for a while, packed up, went to the bait shop to get some fried chicken for lunch, and headed home. I finally got to my house a little before 5. I walked in, put up my stuff, and hit St. Mattress like a ton of bricks. I slept until about 6:30. Then I got up and went to...

The Redbirds first win of the season. Hell yeah baby. Of course first pitch was at 6:05 and I got there in the top of the 6th inning. I had one beer. A 12 ounce beer for $7. Yeah SEVEN DOLLARS. And after I found everyone and chatted a few minutes, I headed back to get some BBQ nachos and they had just closed the stand. WTF! I was really craving those. Fortunately there was one concession place open and I ordered A corndog and was handed TWO corndogs. Oh well, sounds like a good time and it was.

After the game a few of us headed over to Silky's on Beale St. I got a few pics. This is Sloan, Zac, and Ross. Sloan and Ross are engaged and the big day is in a few weeks. Congrats to them. They are two of the coolest, laid back folks you will ever meet.

Oh yeah, as soon as we got there, Zac ordered a friggin' diver for the table. Thanks buddy. This one girl with us ordered a Red Bull and Vodka and told us it was $10. I had two and my tab was $18.50. Either the waitress liked me more than her or...I don't know what.
We saw the goat up on the slide at one point. I decided to act like a tourist and take it's picture. I tried it without the flash and with the flash. It never turned out right, but there were these two glowing eyes in each pic. I pulled up the best pic on the computer today and edited it to get this:
I think Silky's damn goat is possessed or something. Plus it is the size of a buick. That thing is HUGE. The girl with us who had the "$10" Red Bull and Vodka swore it was a cross between a donkey and a goat at least. Someone asked if that was because it was hung like a donkey, but she declined to answer. We finally decided to give it the scientific name "Be-Donka-Donk". We are going to publish that in a scientific journal next week so don't steal that. I want to retire before I turn 27.

OH! There was this band outside (as always), but we noticed one of the singers had an interesting hair thang going on. It turned out to be a rat tail. No, he was not a white dude in a 80s cover band. He was a black guy in a soul/rnb cover band. Look at the pic (I forgot to crop it), you can see it going almost halfway down his back.

Ok, so I left Silky's about 12 and headed home. I'm glad I did because there were only three people remaining in the group. Two guys and a girl. And they went to E&H and then Newby's. I got a call from one of them today at 5:30 and he sounded like the black plague had him.

Today I went to Church at the 9am service in the new seersucker suit. It was pimp with a white shirt and green/blue tie (depending on the light, sounds weird, but really sharp). I was there with the family and EVERY SNEEZING COUGHING CHILD IN THE WORLD. But there were so many cute little kids who had the Easter outfits one. It was pretty cool. For a minute I actually wondered what it was like to be a proud father carrying my child through the Church on Easter Sunday. Then I snapped back to reality and thought back to who the mother could have been had I already married and had a child at this age. I quickly thanked God for unanswered prayers (and Garth Brooks for that song). I'm not saying anything bad about ANY of my exes, but none of them were "the one" and I'm glad I realized that with each one.

After Church I raced home, changed, and went to the folks' house for Easter lunch/bday lunch for the brother. That was great. I came home and have done laundry and cleaned ever since besides watching the Sopranos and What about Brian? Those were both good shows.

Wow it's 11:21. I'm going to bed.


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