12/31/2008

The Pages Practically Turned Themselves

So this year (2008) I spent a lot of time reading. Specifically I spent my lunch breaks reading. At the last job and the current job, I have an hour lunch break. I would usually go somewhere by myself and read while I ate my lunch. Some places are generally more conducive than others. But I was able to get a ton of books read. Most of them were books I had heard were good. Some I just knew I wanted to read them based on the subject matter.
The biggest influence on particular books that I chose to read were Drake and Zeke on 98.1 the Max. They discuss a lot of great books and writers. They even interview them. So I thought I would post a list of the books I read this year in no particular order.

Motley Crue The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band by Motley Crue members with Neil Strauss - kinda dated because it came out in 2002 before they got back together, still a great book though

Cash
(the autobiography) by Johnny Cash - great book, Johnny Cash is surprisingly honest about everything

Inside Delta Force: The Story of America's Elite Counterterrorist Unit
by Eric L. Haney - great read, not like other military books I have tried to read

Ghost Soldiers
and Blood and Thunder: The Epic Story of Kit Carson and the Conquest of the American West by Hampton Sides (Hampton is from Memphis and went to MUS for high school) - both are great reads. I highly recommend them.

The Sun Also Rises
by Ernest Hemingway - classic book, but it is very slow. I hated when there were conversations between characters and Hemingway would put line after line without saying who said what. If you weren't paying attention, you might get lost.

The Tao of Willie: A Guide to the Happiness in Your Heart
by Willie Nelson with Turk Pipkin - Absolutely great book. Definitely will give you the attitude that Willie has about life, love, and everything else.

Marley & Me
by John Grogan - yeah, I cried. If you read this book and don't cry, you have no soul. But beyond crying at the end, I laughed the whole way through the book. Great story even if you aren't a dog lover.

Ghost
by Alan Lightman - a book that was recommended highly by Drake and Zeke. It's one of the first ones I read in 2008. Very weird, but very good.

Tales from Margaritaville
by Jimmy Buffett - I read it this summer. It's the third time I've read it. I just wanted a book that I didn't have to do much with when I read it. I think it was a long weekend at the lake. Still a good collection of short stories. Jimmy has a good imagination, but so much of it clicks back to his songs.

Ronnie
by Ronnie Wood - for those of you who don't know, Ronnie Wood is the rhythm guitarist for the Rolling Stones. I read this book and loved it. I was inspired to get this after reading Clapton by Eric Clapton at the end of 2007. Shortly after I finished this book, I saw on CNN.com that Ronnie had checked into rehab. After reading this book, I can understand why.

Chronicles: Volume 1
by Bob Dylan - Great book. It's not really a full autobiography. Bob takes points in his life and discusses them at length while invoking flashbacks to other times to give some backstory. Great read.

Slash
by Slash with Anthony Bozza - one of my favorite autobiographies I read this year. Really sheds light on the early days of Guns N' Roses. But what really stuck with me was the description of drug problems. The night he was doing 8 balls at a resort in Arizona after Use Your Illusion came out was unreal (not sure if he was still with GNR at that point). He remembers it with such clarity that you almost feel like you are there with him. Very honest but very disturbing at times. I highly recommend it for anyone looking for a rock and roll biography or autobiography.

Willie Nelson: An Epic Life
by Joe Nick Patoski - great book. Anyone who's been around me in December has probably heard me talk about Willie. I will say it gets old after a while when they are talking about different musicians. And since he's still playing and touring even though he's in his late 70s/early 80s, it is a long book. Really. It's 494 pages. There were times when I was reading about the 1970s and I thought it would never end. But this is a great book about a great American man, and I would recommend it for anyone who wants a good read.

The Road
by Cormac McCarthy - this is the last book I finished in 2008. It is phenomenal. My sister got it for me for Christmas. I was finished with it in two days. This is the same author who wrote No Country for Old Men and The Horse Whisperer so you know his general work. This is something I'm telling everyone to read. I would read it and really feel alone as I went along. Basic idea: it is a story about a man and his son trying to survive in a post apocalyptic world while walking down a road. Unbelievable. It is an amazing book. If you read just one book this year, definitely read this one.

So that's what I read this year. I may have left some off. If I realize it, I'll come back and add it later. I started Making Jack Falcone by Joaquin "Jack" Garcia. It is an autobiography of the second FBI agent to infultrate La Cosa Nostra. He infultrated the Gambino family in New York. Unbelievable read. I started it Monday and I am already on page 76. That's only from reading at lunch. It is a page turner.
Ok, that's enough for now. I'm going to get ready for NYE. Have a good one and get some on ya tonight.

(Editor's note) I completely forgot Boys Will Be Boys: The Glorious Days and Party Nights of the Dallas Cowboys Dynasty by Jeff Pearlman - Unbelievable. Those guys were insane. Rule one I have for this book: do not let your kids read it. Rule two: if your parents are over 60 and a little too wound up, don't let them read it either. This tells stories of hookers, drugs, more drugs, more hookers, nudity and self gratification during team meetings, etc. This will scare you for life. But it's still a great book

12/24/2008

Tamales - An Xmas Tradition

(Editor's note: sorry, but I thought I posted this Christmas Eve.)

Years ago when I was in college, we went to San Antonio to visit my cousins for Christmas. Originally from Louisianna, they took to Texas like ducks to water. They picked up all kinds of little customs and what-nots. One thing they picked up was eating tamales on Christmas Eve after going to Church. Well we have picked up this tradition from them and brought it home. A few tamales and a few cold beers are always a great way to spend your Christmas Eve with family and close friends. Much better than a vegetable soup or something else like that. Of course being from Memphis, we prefer the Memphis/Mississippi Delta style of tamales. We as a family have been doing this for years now.


Earlier today I was explaining it to the girls at work. I mentioned Memphis/Mississippi Delta style hot tamales, and they had no idea what I was talking about. I was able to find two articles immediately online about this. One is from NPR and includes a link to a story they broadcast about it. The second is from Gourmet.com and is great. No one is certain how it came to the Delta, but I imagine


One of the best local places I ever found is in South Memphis at the South Memphis Grocery at Mallory Ave and Florida St. Obviously it's in South Memphis and isn't that safe, but the tamales are good to order and pick up. I've had the tamales at Blues City Cafe. They are pretty good. I wonder if there are a few other places that have good tamales around the city.

12/22/2008

Hangover Season

The Times Online (Great Britain) recently published an article that was linked onto digg.com. It's about hangovers and hangover cures. Kind of makes me think of the best ways to cure/handle/survive hangovers. Here are some of my favorites (not that I necessarily use them all):

1. Morning Delights/Wakeup Nookie: I know tons of people who swear by this. But I think the severity of your (and your partner's) hangover might limit the abilities/willingness to participate in this. Plus you'll probably want to brush your teeth before anything starts. I don't know if it would be the release of endorphins or the fact that it's a physical activity that gets your blood flowing (which would tie it into the next item), but it's supposed to be a crowd favorite.

2. Exercise: some people swear that working out (specifically aerobic) really knocks it out of you. I know that it does work depending upon the degree of your hangover. This past Friday I went to Johnny K's annual Xmas bonanza and then stopped by the First Annual Soulburger Xmas where Absinthe was put in my hand. Needless to say, I was a little hungover Saturday. But I had to get to the gym quickly because I had a wedding in Arkansas at 5PM (that is a story for another time). I swam a mile and felt great afterwards. Of course I chugged a bunch of water before hand. I even remember one of the movies I saw in high school about Steve Prefontaine where he had partied hard the night before and then woke up at 6 to go run. Of course he yacked before he was more than 10 steps from his front door. But I had a buddy who bragged about running 6 miles Saturday before last after being up until about 4:30 at Raifords. I don't know where the correct ratio is between the workout cure and the hangover severity. But I'm not going to be the guinea pig to test it.

3. Hair of the Dog: I've heard for a long time about the "hair of the dog that bit you" cure. I have friends who say "the best detox is retox." There is some limited truth to this. I believe that this works only if you are doing a multiday party like BBQ Fest or if you are in college. If you go out on a work night and use this as a way to survive the next morning, you have a drinking problem.

4. Water, BC Powder/Aleve/Advil/etc. : Ahh...the complete doctor's health kick. The recovery answer. The health thyself method. Basically this encompasses anything that you do health wise. Gatorade falls into this category. It works, but how well is still up for debate because it takes more time to work than #3. But the benefit is you might live longer this way. Or at least your liver might.

5. Greasy food: Kinda the opposite of #4 but just as important and successful. Nothing like a greasy hamburger or pizza to calm your rumbling stomach. Mmm...greasy burger. I don't recommend a typical fast food burger like McDonald's. I recommend somewhere with a real burger like Huey's, E&H, Belmont Grill, etc.

6. Sleep: Enough said. Unless you're sleeping in on the weekend, you always say "I need more sleep." I know this has been my mantra for too long. Hell, I say this when I haven't been drinking.



Then I read an article that the Telegraph (another British newspaper) published also linked to digg.com, but this was about how beer goggles last longer for women then men. I think men lose theirs a few minutes after...

Anyway, so what are your favorite hangover cures? Oh wait, I never blog anymore so no one really reads this. So if you stumble upon this in July 2009, feel free to comment.

12/10/2008

Random Songs from the Ipod

The following songs have been played on my Ipod while on random lately. These aren't all of them, but these are the ones that stand out.
Mike and the Mechanics - All I Need Is A Miracle
Stone Temple Pilots - Interstate Love Song
Psychedelic Furs - Love My Way (live)
The Grateful Dead - Attics of My Life
Joan Jett & the Blackhearts - Do You Wanna Touch Me? (Oh Yeah!)
Tone Loc - Funky Cold Medina
Dan Hartman - I Can Dream About You
Eminem - Guilty Conscience
Paul McCartney & Wings - Band on the Run
Prince - Gett Off
Bob Dylan - Obviously 5 Believers
Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
U2 - Mysterious Ways
Coldplay - In My Place
Jesus Jones - Right Here Right Now
Glenn Frey - The Heat Is On
Eazy E - Gimme That Nut
Lynyrd Skynyrd - Tuesday's Gone
The Beatles - If I Fell
Level 42 - Something About You
Huey Lewis & The News - Heart & Soul
Eddie Money - Shakin'
Donnie Iris - Ah! Leah!
Dexy's Midnight Runners - Come On Eileen

There's nothing particular about these songs other than I haven't had them come up in a while that I can think of. Just kinda random, but I like that mix.

11/29/2008

Sore

So I've been doing the swim thing like I said. But I came home from work so tired on Monday and Tuesday of this week that I didn't go to the gym. Well I went yesterday for the first time this week and swam 99 laps. That's 3 miles. I'm a little tired today. And I still have to swim today and tomorrow. Ugh. But, I am doing this! I am probably going to take a quick nap or something. I just feel a little worn down at the moment. And of course the gumbo I just ate and watching football probably aren't helping.
Anyhoo, I'll probably go out tonight too. I don't know where I'm going, but I want to do something.

Oh yeah, how about those Rebels? Egg Bowl champs! Hotty Toddy baby!

11/15/2008

A little tired, but very proud

So I am up way too early for a Saturday, but it's game day so I can't go back to sleep. In my last post I talked about the swimming deal I am doing at the Y. Well at that point, I had done week one and swam a total of 6 miles. Well during week two I lost my mind. I went Monday with the intention of swimming only Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday because I had plans Thursday through Sunday. That meant I would have to swim 2 miles each day. Well, I did it. That's right, I swam 2 miles (66 laps) on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Then I had the Mpact wine tasting Thursday night in Midtown so I decided to drive downtown and swim at that Y before going to the party. So that put me at mile 7 for the week. Pretty impressive. Friday night (i.e. last night) I had family in town and we were going to the Rendezvous for some ribs. Well I decided to swim a mile at the downtown Y again. That made it 8 miles. Yeah, 8 frickin' miles. I honestly can't believe I did it. But it looks like my schedule may be full next week so that'll throw me off pace. I'm glad I got these extra two miles in.

OK, I need to go hop in the shower. Have a good one and Go Rebels!

11/10/2008

Keep It on the Tracks

So the YMCA is doing a "Keep on Track Through the Holidays" program in the aquatics area. You can choose one of three tracks and try to meet the swimming goal over the course of 15 weeks (Nov 2 through Feb 14):
1. Swim 1 mile per week totalling 15 by Valentines
2. Swim 3 miles per week totalling 45 by Valentines
3. Swim 6 miles per week totalling 90 by Valentines

I chose option 3. Yeah, 6 miles per week. If I swim only 3 days in a week, I have to do 2 miles (66 laps according to the chart) per day. I prefer to swim 4 miles and only do 1.5 miles (49.5 laps). After the completion of the first week, I have done 6 miles and lost about 4.5 lbs. Of course unhealthy eating over the weekend (or maybe drinking) packed 2 lbs back on this morning, but none the less, I'm back to it.

This past Friday we had our Ptolemy Fall Party. I posted the pics on Facebook, but I'll come back and post them here along with some Halloween ones whenever I take the time.

Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

10/19/2008

Ted, Strange Things Are Afoot at the Circle K

So last night I went to Ruthie's birthday party at Colleen's house. There was an eclectic group of people there to celebrate her (age unpublished at time of print) birthday. Due to several crazy things last night I proclaimed that I would actually blog about this.
Some were people she knew professionally and some socially. A large contingent of partygoers were watching the LSU at South Carolina football game. We were all intermingling while some people would leave to grab beer for a few people every so often. At one point Scottie Too Hottie and I were watching the game while discussing who-knows-what when this guy walked up and engaged us in a politely awkward conversation (we'll call him "dude" and imagine him with a French accent because that's how it was):
Dude: Are you watching the game?
Us: Uh, yeah.
Dude: I was wondering if I could change the channel.
Me: What do you want to watch?
Scottie Too Hottie: I bet he wants to watch Sex and the City.
Dude: Why would you think I would want to watch Sex and the City?
Me: We don't. He was just messing with you dude. So what do you want to watch?
Dude: I want to watch the UFC fight. I assume that you are not UFC fans.
Me: Well not on a Saturday during college football season.
At this point he left the conversation. He had a strong French accent, or so I thought (I later found out that he's Turkish or something). We were both taken aback. We paused before looking at each other and simultaneously asking "what the F was that about?" We passed this funny tale around among several friends in the immediate vicinity. While we were all basking in the crazy moments that had just passed, "dude" walked back into the room and started pushing buttons on remotes. At this point the crowd had enough. "Hey man" "What do you think you're doing?" "We're watching that."
After not finding the remote for the cable box, dude left the room only to return with Colleen. She helped him find the remote despite the general protests of...well everyone. He put it on the UFC fight. I left the room to grab a beer before I got really pissed off. When I came back the game was back on and Colleen was explaining how she couldn't understand what he wanted due to his (oddly generic European?) accent. She is one of those people who is too nice to tell someone a flat out no, so we didn't really fault her.
The majority ruled for the rest of the game. After the game was over, people left the TV room and dude ran to change the tv to the UFC fight. I went and hung outside for a while. I later went back in and hung out with dude to give him the benefit of the doubt. He is a big UFC fan as well as an ultimate fighter trainee. He was actually a nice guy. I guess that he just didn't know how to approach the situation. Still kinda funny.

Later on, I was outside when I witnessed a friend in trouble. While I was telling a funny story, she was being trapped by a poor, highly inebriated woman. She kept looking to our group where her boyfriend stood blissfully unaware of what was going on (sorry, dude, but it's true). Anywho, I walked over and offered to get them a beer (and my friend an out of the situation). I was quickly told that they were fine. While my friend was sitting there in horror, the poor drunk girl was leaning in a little bit further and further as she obviously conveyed what tough times she is going through or whatever. After a while, I went inside and found a friend of the second girl and mentioned that maybe she should go out there in a few minutes to pull the reins of her friend. The brother knew better he went to this girl and told her that she needs to take care of her friend before she really embarassed herself. She did this properly of course, and DG was taken home.

After the party had officially wound down, I went with the Brother, Natalie, Colleen, and Natalie from out of town to the Blue Monkey. It was a fun but rather uneventful time. There were stories shared and laughs among all of us. One funny thing was this girl in a Janis Joplin coat and a bare midriff playing pool. The immediate feelings around the table were along the lines of shock and awe before everyone agreed that she had the confidence and abs to pull it off.

The best part of our time at the Blue Monkey was the discussion about phone numbers. I'm not sure how it came up exactly, but one of the girls made the comment that her phone number in her dorm spelled 678-DORK. The brother said that his phone number spelled HOT-LOVE. The girls didn't fully believe it. I said "oh yeah, it's completely true." I explained the story about how we found out:
"We were at the tent for an Ole Miss game when one of our sister's friends was putting his number in her phone. When she finished, she sat quietly for a few minutes while the rest of us continued to chat and party. Suddenly, she said 'OMG, your phone number is HOT-LOVE.' She proceeded to tell us that she has this thing where she figures out what people's numbers spell out."
After I told the girls at the Blue Monkey this story, they believed that the Brother's phone number does in fact spell HOT-LOVE. Umm...I have a confession: it was a complete on the spot BS story. I made it up right then and there.
Girls, I'm sorry but when you each had that look of complete belief in such an obviously fake story, I couldn't come clean then. It's still funny as hell to me though.

Have a good one.

8/22/2008

Soooooooooo y eah

This is what the Romans call a drunk post. Tonight/today was an anniversary for a familial unit. That's why I blew off the Ptolemy member party AND the Ducks Unlimited meeting. So here I am after two and half bottles of wine and a few beers feeling quite good. I want to bitch about things, but I don't have anything to complain about now. So let's talk positive.
Tomorrow night is the muthafunking Phoenix Club's second annual muthafunking Luau Party. Saturday night is the Spirit of SRVS wine and beer tasting fundraiser. If I'm not at them, then a bigger, better deal has been found. But I doubt it.

Anywho, if you need some tickets, go to the Phoenix Club webiste and order some. Use me as your Phoenix contact.

8/10/2008

Olympic Triathlons

I've been banging my head against the wall trying to figure out when and where I can watch the Olympic triathlon races. It's so difficult to navigate through all the online stuff at nbcolympics. Well through msn I finally found when the women's and men's triathlons come on TV and where. Hopefully this will stay accurate:

The women's triathlon will be shown between 9PM and 11PM Central (my) time on Sunday August 17th on NBC Channel 5. I'm sure I won't be able to watch the entire race because they'll cut away to something boring like synchronized diving or swimming.

The men's triathlon will take place at 9PM Central on Monday August 18th. I don't think it's going to be shown on Channel 5 and I can't find where it will be shown on TV. It's getting pre-empted by other events like women's beach volleyball (which I watch), track and field events (which I may watch), and I have no idea what else. But since we have a better chance of winning gold in the women's than the men's, it's better to watch that I guess. It may be shown on MSNBC between 11AM and 4PM Central on Tuesday August 19th. Hmm...I guess I'll just TIVO that.

Another Race Done - FitCity Triathlon Recap

Yesterday was the FitCity Triathlon at Herb Parsons Lake. I'm not sure exactly where it is though. Everything I saw said it was just north of Collierville, TN. But there were paramedics and sheriffs on hand from Fayette County (they always have paramedics at these races just as a precaution). After thinking it over, I think we spent part of the race in Shelby County and part in Fayette County.
Anyway, it was a lot of fun, except the hills on the bike were killer. I have been working on my biking and it still whooped me...ok, it flat kicked my ass. They advertised the race as a 1/2 mile swim, 23 mile bike ride (road), and 4 mile trail run. Let me tell you when I hit that 23rd mile on the bike and didn't see the park or anyone else, I thought I was lost. Turns out it was a 24 mile bike ride, and after I went so hard and fast on miles 22 and 23, I had hardly any energy left for mile 24. It was brutal and mostly uphill. I was about to turn around when I came around a corner in the woods and saw a family there. They cheered me on and said the park was around the next corner. I don't know how I kept going, but I did. Now I forgot my ankle brace so I didn't really run much on the trails which is good because I almost rolled my left ankle twice.

Here's the breakdown of my times:

First there was the half mile swim in the lake where you jumped in with a 5 second stagger start from a dock. Very weird but very fun. You had the option of diving or jumping. It was at a weird angle, but I dove anyway and passed the two in front of me in no time. My time was 17:09 which placed me 4th out of my bracket, Male Clydesdales all ages (Clydesdales are men who weigh over 200 lbs). There were 14 Male Clydesdales overall.

I had the longest transition 1 time out of my bracket with 4:55, but that's fine because that's better than what I did in the last one where I was 8:18.

On the bike I was 13th out of my group with 1:26:31 with a 16.78 average mph. That's good for me because in my last race, my average was 13.3 for a shorter distance. So my bike training has really worked for me lately.

My transition 2 time was 5:03. I still need to take off a few minutes, but I did take a hammergel nutrition pack and had to chug a bunch of water with it. By the way, the Banana flavored Hammer Gel tastes like monkey butt (the chocolate tastes bad too). I would have gone with my standard strawberry-banana flavored GU Gel which I like, but I went to the Ptolemy Prospective Member Party Friday night and had a few beers instead of being responsible and replenishing my stock of GU and electrolyte pills that I used up in bike training. Wow that was a long sentence that said probably nothing you cared about. If you don't like it, bite me.

On the run, I really walked a bunch because I was exhausted and every time I came to a water station they were out of water mostly. Plus my legs were killing me from the bike for the first two miles of the run. I was only able to start jogging again in the third and fourth miles. My time was 48:14 which I think is pathetic. I need to do a few things so I can start running a lot. I need to get some new damn custom inserts to prevent my shin splints from flairing up whenever I try to run. Anyway, I was 12th in my bracket in the run.

I like to look at my triathlons as a competition against myself. I tend to start competing during the race with people around me, but that's stupid. So I'm looking at a similar race for comparison from last year when I weighed less and was (supposedly) in better shape than I am now: the 2007 Tupelo King of the Hill. The King of the Hill was 1/2 mile swim, 22 mile bike ride, and 3.6 mile road run. I'm not really looking at the run as much because my legs cramped up bad last year due to dehydration. Anyway, here's the comparison
SWIM FC 17:09 / KH 15:55
T1 FC 4:55 / KH 6:58
BIKE FC 1:26:31 (16.78 avg mph) / KH 1:42:04 (12.94 avg mph)
T2 FC 5:03 / KH 2:49
RUN FC 48:14 / KH 45:19

It really looks like I have improved a lot. Especially on the bike where I was faster while covering more miles than the King of the Hill (and the Mighty Mite which was only 13 miles). So here are my goals to work on before next season starts:
1. Improve transition time
2. Improve running ability (i.e. get shoe inserts to prevent shin splints)
3. Continue to improve biking performance
Unfortunately this is really the end of triathlon season for me. I may do a few bike races or run races throughout the rest of the year, but football season is almost upon us and that means my weekends are about to be filled with partying. Then it hunting season and xmas party season. So it's going to be a while until the spring races start.

Have a good one and get off your lazy ass.

8/04/2008

Thank you, Paul Ryburn!

Downtown Paul, he of the more-urban-than-you crowd, has done a great service to this town. Hell, he's done a great service to most every town. He has built an online store for sexy Halloween costumes for (here's the best part) women. It's called Skank-O-Ween. I know you see several sexy women in sexy outfits at every Halloween party, but I have heard from many lady friends that its just to hard to find a mass collection of them to browse.

Here's an official salute to a man who has brought this town so many memorable things like Tube Tob Month:

SALUTE!!

7/30/2008

Umm...no comment

I've watched "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" recently. It's a great flick. I love the line when Mandy (Allison Eastwood) first meets John Kelso (John Cusack):
Mandy: Are you thirsty?
John: No.
Mandy: Well, if you're thirsty, a drink will cure it. If you not, a drink will prevent it. Prevention is always better than a cure. Don't you think?

Such a classic. It's so true although it doesn't just roll off the tongue.

Anyway, I'm really stalling for time. I'm putting off going to sleep because I'm wide awake. But I need to sleep...bad.

Screw it. I'm turning off the computer and closing my eyes. G'night.

7/27/2008

Just kinda random post

I was talking with a friend the other day. The topics changed easily until we landed on one in particular: why do bartenders seem to be some of the cooler people in town? We immediately differentiated between when they're working a with crowded house and when they're working with a few regulars. Of course when you're working with a crowded house (i.e. at Silky's last night), you're just trying to constantly fill orders, get the correct amount of money, and get them their change all while keeping the mob happy so you can make your living in tips.

Anyhoo, this got me thinking about all "my" bartenders from college until now at all my old haunts, and I realized that I have a very bad habit: I tend to fall for women who are bartenders. Not every woman who's a bartender, mind you, but the ones who are cool and will talk to you. I started to wonder why until the answer dawned on me. Women who are bartenders are usually attractive, they act as though they like to talk to you, and they have an endless supply of booze. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't those some important characteristics you look for in someone you'd be romantically interested in?

Unfortunately as I have grown older, you might say I've gotten a little wiser and started giving myself a reality check everytime I get the old feeling of admiration for a gorgeous girl who's serving me drinks. But damn, sometimes you just wish you were young and dumb still (although the fact I was talked into taking a tequila shot last night might say I'm still young and dumb).

I'm just putting that out there. Anyway, have a great one.

Songs on the playlist:
The Beta Band - Dry the Rain
Bob Dylan - Lay, Lady, Lay
Lyle Lovett - If I Had a Boat
Jack Johnson - Wasting Time
Booker T & the MG's - Green Onions
Jane's Addiction - Jane Says (live version from Kettle Whistle)
John Hiatt - Drive South
The Funky Meters - Fire on the Bayou

7/24/2008

Great Party


This is one of the top parties of the year. I highly recommend everyone go. If you need tickets email me at memphisphilip (at) hotmail (dot) com. I will have some as of Thursday next week.

7/23/2008

Changes in Culinary

Man I hope I spelled that right.

One of the things I've noticed in changing from working in Bordova (Cordova) to working in Corn Flake (Horn Lake) is the change in lunch options. I found some real jewels while I was in Bordova. One place that I already miss is Vanelli's Deli in Germantown (the only actual link I could find was their myspace page). I highly recommend it if you are ever in the area. They have a modest menu with a few options, but what they have is fantastic. I usually get the #1 sandwich (I think it's "the ami"). Or I would get the chef salad with their own Italian dressing. They also make real Italian dishes you can take home and heat. I haven't tried any of them personally, but I have heard they are amazing.

Now, I have found/been lead to some great places that are unique to Horn Lake. They are especially good if you don't want to deal with the traffic and chain restaurants. One place is Ponders (can't find anything on web really). It is a cafeteria with good southern/soul food. You can only go there so often because you tend to eat all that you can. Well at least I do.

I am going to do a little more investigating of the Horn Lake area and (when I feel brave) will venture into Southaven to see if I can find any gems there too.

Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

7/22/2008

Negativity

So some negativity has decided to creep back into my life recently. It's basically a source of BS that I thought I had gotten rid of, but I was wrong. I'm not particularly sure how to get rid of it. It's like a remora. Everytime I think it's gone, it comes back attached to someone new. It really bugs the crap outta me, but there's nothing I can do. I know I'm being completely vague, but this is more for me venting about this. Anyway, the negative remora needs to go away. I'm not doing anything or saying anything about it. I'm just tired of my friends saying to me "Geez, I thought (negative remora) realized no one liked (negative remora). Why won't it just go away?" I gave up a long time ago.

Damn that feels good.

7/21/2008

Quick Update

So it's late at night and I can't sleep. I guess I'll do a little quick blogging...which I'm sure will turn into a long post.

First thing's first: I am no longer unemployed. I started a new job last week. It's great, but I'm not going to go into it. But I did have a nice 2 month vacation. I just wish I had done more while I was unemployed. I should have gone to the lake for a while or just gone to the pool. I really should have trained more though. I did the Mighty Mite triathlon this past weekend in Forrest City, AR, and I could tell I was out of shape. I mean bad. So I'm going to turn that into motivation to get my butt to the gym or riding my bike afterwork.

Let's see what else...there's nothing really. I have found that I've lost my desire to post pics on my blog anymore. It's really time consuming when you use blogger, because you can only add them one at a time. And blogger tends to add extra spaces/lines in between the pics so you have to delete the lines. If you don't have a lot of time on your hands, it can be quite a pain in the ass. But it used to be the way I would get party pics to my friends. Now I'm on facebook and it's easier. Plus a lot of my friends are on it too. I do like it better than myspace...well except for Mailbox's facebook page. He has way too much crap on there.

My new job is down in Horn Lake, MS. I'm really thinking of doing a "Best of Horn Lake Scenery" post, because I have seen some funny shit down there. Really detail jobs on piece of shit cars. Rednecks that you wouldn't believe. All kinds of strange stuff. OH! That reminds me. Thursday I was stopped at a stop light not really paying attention to anything else when I noticed a door open that belonged to the car two ahead of me and in the right lane (I was in the left lane). This girl who had to be somewhere between 16 and 19 leaned out and dropped a jumbo fountain drink on the ground. I know you're saying "well she just poured out her drink, what's the big deal?" No, she just dropped it on the ground: cup, drink, lid, and straw. Before I could even comprehend what I had witnessed, the light changed and traffic started moving. How the hell do you react to that? Well I had maybe a dozen ideas pop into my head of what I or anyone else should have done had there been ample amount of time. These are my favorites:
1. Walk from my car, pick up the cup, tap on her window and say "you dropped this" before handing it to her (I think that would be funny and convey the right message)
2. Pick up the cup and stick it under her windshield wiper (it would be funny and a little mean, helping vent the anger)
3. Pick up the cup and throw it at her windshield (definitely a little more rage filled but still good)
4. Pick up the cup and shove it in her car's tailpipe (if I or anyone else did this, we would need some serious therapy time with Dr. Melfi)
What do you think?

I did see the new Batman movie this weekend. If you haven't yet, I recommend going soon. It was unbelievable except for this old couple behind me who made comments to each other everytime something happened.

Speaking of old people, what is the etiquette with cougar cleavage? I won't say where it's happened, but there have been a few separate occasions over the last month where I have been in the presence of cougars with over-zealous plunging necklines. One time it was a gray panther (i.e. too old to be a cougar). Actually the gray panther was too old to be a gray panther. She was old enough to have great-grandkids. It was at a large cocktail party and she was talking to everyone (she was a friend of my friend's family member...long, long story). It begs the question: is there a statute of limitations on cleavage? How old is too old? Honestly I can't define the cutoff point, but I know she was about 20 years past it.

Ok, it's getting late and this probably should have been a few separate posts, but oh well. G'night.

7/01/2008

Get Excited People!

On digg.com, there was a link to the new trailer for the next James Bond flick, the Quantum of Solace. I'm posting a link here for you. It looks awesome! Hope you enjoy it.

6/26/2008

Heed this Warning!

Beware of this trend! If we find you wearing a shirt like this, we will laugh at you!

6/24/2008

Shh...

What's that sound? Oh yeah, it's me blogging. Sounds kinda funny. I've heard many times over the last month and half "why haven't you been blogging?" Well I just haven't felt like posting anything. A lot has happened since my last post. I lost my job and most everything I had in storage was stolen. I did get my truck fixed after the wreck I was in. I did the Memphis in May Triathlon which was 30.6 miles total on the Sunday morning after BBQ Fest. Overall a lot has happened and I've just been too focused or uninterested to blog it. Sorry. I'll try to get better, but I'm not promising anything. So to answer a quick question: no, I haven't gotten a new job yet. The job market is really tough and a lot of folks aren't even posting jobs anymore. FedEx.com took down the link to their careers page all together. There are a lot of really bad jobs on Monster.com, but I found that out the last time I looked for a job. Networking is working better for me this time. I have gotten a lot of leads through networking, so hopefully something will pan out soon.
That's all I'm going to do for now. Maybe I'll be back real soon.

5/08/2008

Bar Advice

What’s up drunks and lushes? I have a bit of helpful info to pass your way.



You know how our generation used to drunk dial from our cell phones before evolving into drunk texting? For the longest time drunk texting would get you one of two results: an embarrassing reputation or a fun evening. Well there is a bar that has added another consequence for drunk texting. If you text the number on the screens at Red Rooster, they will text you with drink specials and nightly themes all day long. How do I know? Because four guys I work with drunk texted the bar and for the last month or so have been dealing with a barrage of daily texts mentioning everything from Ladies’ Night to 2 for 1 Well Shooters. It took several weeks of calling the bar before they were finally removed from the text lists.


So remember if you go to the Rooster to keep your thumbs off small buttons.

5/05/2008

Recap

I keep hearing this tap-tap-tap sound. What the hell is that?

Oh, right I'm posting on the blog. (I promise that will be the lowest attempt at humor in this post).

So what's going on? Well I did finish the 44 mile swim in 12 weeks at the gym. I feel really good about myself. I was talking with one of the lifeguards on Saturday. I told him I only had enough time to swim 1.5 miles but I still had another mile to complete before they closed the gym Sunday. He said why don't I just say I did it and come in Monday to actually do it. I told him I couldn't do that. I'm not going to cheat myself from this accomplishment. So I came in yesterday afternoon to swim my mile. Then I went home and rode the bike. I really need to do that more often because I am really not up to my form from last summer and fall on my bike. Why am I kicking my own butt on this? I'm doing the Memphis in May Triathlon. It's going to be the longest one I've ever done. It's on May 18. That's a Sunday. For those of you who aren't keeping score. That the Sunday of BBQ Fest weekend. That's the Sunday morning after my friend's wedding. I need all the training that I can get before I begin the week of decadence that is BBQ Fest.

Speaking of BBQ Fest I am on a team. I know it completely goes against the pre-BBQ Fest post I've done for the last three years, but I found a team with a bunch of my friends on it and I am lucky enough to join it. And they put me in charge of designing the team tshirt and coming up with the slogan (with help from my brother of course). No I'm not publishing which team. I don't want a bunch of random rednecks walking up to the door saying "yea I know that Philip fellar over thar from the interweb thingy!"

What else? I went to Little Rock for Mr and Mrs Mailbox's wedding. I don't think I can come up with some cut Hollywood/Celeb nickname for them. Sorry. Anyhoo, I'll post the pics on that later.

I went this past Saturday to Young at Art's Kentucky Derby Party at the Dixon. I had a lot of fun there and I learned an important lesson. Don't try to go drink for drink when you're not drinking the mint juleps. Most of you know I'm not a whiskey drinker. So I had vodka and cranberry. Well the bartender would fill the highball glass to the top for vodka and cranberry while the mint julep was half full (or half empty if you were drinking it). So I'm basically drinking everyone there two for one. Not good. But I caught my mistake and started to pace myself and I made it through the party relatively unscathed. Here are a few pics from the party. The first two are with Mendi and the last one is with Shannon the Friggin' D.

It was a lot of fun. Though the race was only a minute and half long, the crowd was really into it. Afterwards half the guys went to smoke cigarettes while the other half pretty much fell asleep where they lay. Of course most of the women there were ticked off it didn't last long enough where they could get anything out of it.
Wait. Was that a sex joke?
Other than that I'm just trying not to spend money right now. I have some bills to pay, and I'ld like to save a little money. Real boring right?
Oh yeah! I got into a wreck. Someone ran a stop sign and t-boned my truck. I'm OK. I have to have my truck repaired. No one was hurt in the accident and the other driver admitted fault...through his interpreter.
Well that's all I've got for now. Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

4/30/2008

Quick Bit of Bragging

I'm finishing the swim challenge of "Swim to the River and back" at the gym. We are supposed to swim 44 miles between February 12 and May 4. Despite taking two weeks off, I have 2.5 miles left to do. I'll probably beat that easily. The good news is, I'm this close because I kicked ass last night and tonight. I swam 2.5 miles each night. That's 90 laps each night. 5 miles swam in about a 26 hour period. 180 laps in two nights. Needless to say, I'm a little worn out. And if I hadn't been distracted by the TV, I would already be asleep before now.

Anyhoo, I'm going to try to sleep now.

4/21/2008

Is that Botox in your face or are you just unaffected by what's happening?

Why do people tell me things? I was at a party Sunday when a friend of mine told me she got a shot of Botox in her forehead within the last month. She was getting a wrinkle in a strategic place in her forehead and although she is in her early thirties, the offer of free Botox paid by Momma was too much to pass up. The problem was, while I was making fun of her for getting the shot, I couldn’t tell that she was actually getting mad until she tried to kick me. Why not? Because she couldn’t furrow her brow to give me the non-verbal communication of “shut the F up! You are really starting to piss me off.” This made me laugh even more.


It reminded me of that episode of Scrubs where Dr. Cox’s ex-wife Jordan is called “ma’am” by a young hunk. She goes and gets her entire face injected with Botox and doesn’t move a facial muscle for the rest of the episode. Dr. Cox mocks her by requesting facial expressions: “show me happy,” “show me sad,” etc. When he gets to “show me angry,” she knees him in the crotch, all the while without make the slightest change of expression on her face. Thank God, that didn’t happen to me.


Anyhoo, as a regular reader of the blog I know she’s going to initially be mortified that I posted this. But since I’ve made it as vague as possible, she will be the only person who knows her actual identity.

4/09/2008

Random Thought about...stuff

So I was having a problem recently. Over the last year or so, I've had many friends go through divorce, file for separation, or end long relationships. Some of these people were married only a few years while others were together for a long time. This began to cloud my view of love and relationships. Questions began to surface such as "how can two people who seemed to be so in love everytime I saw them, not make it?" or "why do such good people have to go through such terrible situations (or why does such a great person...)?" Some of these marriages/relationships ended due to people growing apart while others ended due to infidelity (please note that I'm not being specific about any one friend's or friends' relationship; I have several friends whose relationships ended over the last year due to infidelity, both monetary and physical). I began to have a very negative outlook on love and relationships. Honestly it was depressing to think about these relationships ending.

Then something happened. I don't know exactly when or how, but I started to notice a few things. Other friends of mine are happy in love. They are getting married or celebrating anniversaries. Some friends are dating someone new and exciting. They have that special look in their eye. The look of hope and amazement. Many friends are having children. I was at a party recently and walked into a room to find two sets of my friends' babies eating in high chairs. I sat down and hung out with them for a while. They were just absolutely precious. They were so small and helpless yet so big and full of life. Their eyes would watch intently as I made faces at them before bursting with the expression of complete joy whenever I finally made a face they really liked.

The more I've thought about it lately, the more I realize that love is all around and is something remarkable. Sometimes people may grow apart or end their relationship, but it's nothing to get down about. There is still a chance for someone to find someone who they love and loves them. You just have to keep looking in the right directions. I feel sorry for my friends who have to go through the rough stuff. Sometimes something good has to end to find something great, I guess. But the best thing I can do is support my friends in rough times without getting drawn into the bad emotions of their situations. You can either be happy in life or sad. It's really what you focus on.



I know this wasn't probably what most of my readers come for, but it was something that's been mulling around in my head. I feel better if I can just put it out there. It's a little cathartic.

Take it easy.

3/28/2008

Are you there Margaret? It's me, Philip.

I think it's been long enough since the last post that it's time to give you a quick update before I run out the door. I'm going to do my first triathlon of the year. Yeah, I'm doing the Rebel Man Triathlon in Oxford, MS. But here are a few quick pics of what's been going down. This is real quick. Below are the major (read: blogworthy) events that I need to post. Other than these, I've been training for triathlon season and working.
Anyhoo, here's what's been going on:

Phoenix Club's Mardi Gras PartyA Carnival Krewe Coronation where I ran into Mr. Michael Donahue.
I went to the Ptolemy Coronation. Here I am with Queen Shady Hasbeen. (I know it's kinda hard to title her "Queen" and "Hasbeen." She was a Hasbeen because was a EX duchess. Now she's the Queen so I have to adjust her nickname...maybe).Oh yeah, the brother and I went to New Orleans for Mailbox's bachelor party. And this is what happens when you mix New Orleans Hand Grenades, beer, bourbon, Jagerbombs, and other adult styled beverages with the bachelor's ego. That's right. It's time to go home at 9PM.

So there's more to come...someday.

Take it sleazy.

2/21/2008

Phoenix Club Mardi Gras Video 1

Here is the first video I have from the Phoenix Club's Mardi Gras Party last Saturday night. The band was U.S. They told the crowd they don't do "Come On Eileen" anymore, but obviously a young lady on the front row convinced them otherwise. The girl blowing a kiss at the camera is my friend Cindy and that's her husband next to her, Jake.

video

2/09/2008

To The Ladies

To the ladies out there from all the men:

video

What Will I Be?

Every child wonders what they will do when they become grownups.

1/28/2008

I'm not going to give you a title

So it’s Monday January 28th and I’m a little down. Duck season is over after finishing the final day in a “freezing fog” hunting south of Jonesboogie, Rockansas. Still not sure what “freezing fog” is. The only explanation I can come up with is based on my experience yesterday. Standing in the fog, you couldn’t see twenty feet in front of you. Driving was just as much fun. The turn off the highway was so obscured that I almost missed it. Not fun. That’s not exactly a definition of “freezing fog.” That’s the description of the intensity of that fog. Wait, can fog be intense? Imagine the Macho Man Randy Savage as a fog. That’s the only way I can see an intense fog. Anyhoo, the freezing part came in when the moisture of the fog froze on contact with anything. Not like freezing dew on the ground. This froze both on top and on the bottom of things. It was weird. But we still got a few ducks. It was a weird hunting season.

What else is going on? Well I have officially started training for triathlon season as well as other athletic events I’m planning on doing this spring/summer. I have the Memphis Mile Swim on February 10 and the Germantown Half Marathon (if I can do it) on March 16. The Rebel Man Triathlon in Oxford, MS, is March 29. No races in April yet. I have the Memphis In May Triathlon on May 18. For those of you taking notes, yea that’s the Sunday after BBQ Fest weekend. How awesome is that going to be!!! I already feel bad thinking about it. But I may not have to worry about BBQ poisoning the night before the race, because a friend is getting married Saturday night of BBQ Fest week. Calm down. I know you’re shouting “someone’s getting married on BBQ Fest weekend!!?!? What are they thinking?” But I’m sure she has a rational explanation. I don’t know what it is nor could I come up with an explanation (I just know I’m going to get a hateful email for this). But for me this is a blessing in disguise. I’ll go to the wedding (assuming I’m still invited now) and reception, then I’ll head home early to get a good night's sleep.

As far as my training, I'm doing over three miles a week in the pool. I would like to start running in the next week or so, but I've been swimming so I can drop a little weight before running really. A good friend of mine has run a few half marathons and he said the best way to start is do 2 miles 2 days a week and then do a longer run on Saturday or Sunday (like 4-6 miles) and then increase my distance over time. Sounds like a good idea so I'm going to try that. I'm sure I'll need to go get new shoes. And I'm really putting off visiting Campbell Clinic. Nothing's wrong. I ran cross country for four years in high school and developed shin splints at that time. The doctor at Campbell Clinic made custom inserts for my shoes which made the pain disappear over time. Now over the last decade or so (yeah, I graduated from high school ten years ago) whenever I'd start a heavy running regiment again, my shin splints would flare up again. It hasn't happened in the last few years so I hope I'm ok. It just really, really hurts. (skip to the next paragraph if you want, I'm going to describe how it feels to me) Imagine someone tearing the muscle away from the shin bone on the inside of your legs. That's what it felt like at its worst in high school.

Back to BBQ Fest, I'm joining a team. Yeah I know. I've spent the past two BBQ Fests advocating the wonderful part of being a floater. But I think I'd like to try and experience this from a new way this year. I'll let you know more details when I see fit.

This is the last bit before I go to bed. I've also been reading a lot. Hey, it beats watching that shitty show, American Idol. I won't get onto my rant about that though. Anywho, I just finished Slash's autobiography, Slash. I read Ghost by Alan Lightman and Clapton by Eric Clapton. I'm not sure what my next book will be, but it will either be something by Hampton Side, Pattie Boyd (Harrison-Clapton)'s autobiography Wonderful Tonight, or Nikki Six's autobiography The Heroin Diaries. I was turned onto the books by Hampton Side, Alan Lightman, and Eric Clapton from the Drake and Zeke show on 98.1 the Max. They do a great job of being both cynical and inspirational. Drake talks about a lot of books he reads, and that's where I've picked up a few ideas. It definitely helps clear my mind. I find that reading and exercising clean the cobwebs and stress out of my mind.

That's all I have time for today. Hopefully, I'll get to something else soon. By the way, if you've been waiting to see either Smokin' Aces, Norbit, or Children of Men on HBO or Skinemax, don't bother. They are all really bad. Children of Men could be good, but I'm just not in the mood for an apocalyptic film. I'm in too good of a headspace right now.

Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

1/20/2008

Brrr

Ok, I'm thinking of all I have to do today (move some furniture, swim a mile, and watch football at a friend's house). But I'm really lacking the motivation to get out of my bed. It's 23 degrees outside right now but feels like 14 with the wind chill. I think I'll surf the internet for a few more minutes.

1/16/2008

Even my dog knows Tom Cruise is crazy now

So I was listening to Drake and Zeke this morning while I was getting ready for work. It's a morning ritual. I listening to comical Zeke and cynical Drake. Their views on world and local issues are quite informative, overly cynical, and always clever. They have opinions on things that I agree with, including the refusal to report on the MOST famous trailer skank ever from Louisianna (Britney Spears).

So this morning they were talking about various topics they've found out on the web and one of them was this Scientology Indoctrination video of Tom Cruise that the cult had removed from YouTube and Google Video. Just watch it (just over 9 minutes) and tell me he's not crazier than Britney Spears.

1/15/2008

Bama Women Beat Cocks Almost Single Handedly

That's right folks. Some guy or girl named B.J. posted an article about women's college basketball in the SEC. Of course the title couldn't be simply and straight forward. It had to be a full on innuendo: "Hot Shooting Tide Women Beat 'Cocks"

I couldn't pass up sharing that with you.

1/08/2008

Drunk on Scooter at Christmas Party, Part 1

This is Part 1. Be sure to check out Part 2. It is the post below.

video

Be warned, this is unedited and probably not safe for work if you have speakers on. The next post might be a little better language wise, plus it is only one minute. There isn't too much in this one, but I wouldn't have it blaring over the office intercom or anything.

My favorite part is when I ask him for some words of wisdom at the end: "Words of Wisdom? Uh, stay in school and don't be like me."

Drunk on Scooter at Christmas Party, Part 2

So this is actually Part 2. Be sure to watch Part 1 first. It is the post above this one.

video

In case you can't tell, this is completely unedited. And yes, this time he did it in honor of Sean Taylor. How wrong is that?

1/07/2008

Merry New Year!!!

That's right I said it: Merry New Year!!! If you haven't seen Trading Places with Dan Akroyd and Eddie Murphy, then you don't get it. And if you haven't seen that comedy, you need to get a serious readjustment to your movie viewing priorities. Forget going to see I Am Legend or Alvin and the Chipmunks (they probably suck) and borrow that damn film from any of your friends. They probably have it.

Anywho, I'm going to skip over a few things from November that although they are funny, I don't feel like taking the time to tell them. I'd rather get to the Holiday Season. Or if you are like many of us and hate living in a politically-correct world, the Christmas Season. There I said it. If I disappear, it's because the PC-nazi-police kidnapped me. If that happens, have a good one and don't get none on ya.


On December 1st I went to the Ptolemy "Holiday" Party downtown. After the party wound down, I went to Spindini with a group from the party. Of course I was still wearing my Santa hat which drew looks of shock and disgust from the pretentious crowd at this supposed downtown hot spot. I ask you, dear reader, how they can get away with judging my Santa hat while we can't mention the miriad of surgical accessories they were displaying, including but not limited to lifted/enlarged bossoms, tightened faces, tucked posteriors, enlarged big toes, hair transplants, and botoxed thumbs. I had a group of folks who were waiting for me in East Memphis at Old Venice Pizza Company. I headed that way to meet up with folks and catch the incredible Roxanne Lemmon. I used to live next door to her in Midtown and have been promising her for over two years now that I would get off my lazy ass and go see her live. I have to say it was well worth it. Anyway on to the pics from that night. I have only one pic from the Ptolemy party, and it didn't turn out that well. So I'm starting my second post in a row with a girl posing in a "Look at me!!! I need attention!!!" picture. This is Theresa (I think), and it happened to be her birthday that night Here's me with part of the group at Old Venice. And you can see the Santa hat too.
Here's the birthday girl again.
Part of the reason I got the pic with her Michelob Ultra is because that is a very important Ultra. It propelled me to the rank of "you're an asshole" status. Now I will admit that's a lot of responsibility for just one beer. Especially a beer as crappy as a Michelob Ultra. Let me explain: the bar was crowded and there were only three bartenders. Actually only two of those bartenders were attempting to work from time to time. So when they finally came to us, my buddy Sam bought a round for all of us. Despite the fact I heard him order the Ultra, the bartender never brought it. It took a few minutes for birthday girl to realize this. Then she started to ask why we all had drinks and she didn't. I turned and got the bartender's attention to order it because I was standing at the bar. The bartender brought it, and I gave Birthday Girl her beer. She looked at me and said something like "about time" with a bit of attitude. I let it slide for a second until she tried to snatch my Santa hat. When I sarcastically told her to say pretty please first, I reached the pinnacle of "you're an asshole" status to her. And I really didn't care. I just laughed every time I got the evil eye for the next thirty minutes. Then she finally forgot why she was mad at me.
Here's a pic later in the night. Nothing like shots on your birthday right?
Here's a pic of the Roxanne Lemmon Band. I personally call her Foxy Roxy, but everyone knows her as Roxanne. She's the one in the middle playing the guitar.
So that was the official kickoff for the Christmas Party season 2007. The next party I took my camera to was a Tacky Xmas party thrown by a couple of guys I went to high school with. You were supposed to dress up in really bad Christmas outfits. There were people dressed like Cousin Eddie from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. There were guys who went and got really tacky turtlenecks from the women's department at Wal-Mart. The ideas were hilarious. I spent more time drinking and talking than actually taking pics of everyone's outfits. But here's one couple. You can see his sweater but I didn't get a good pic of her outfit.
I ran into the "Fun Davis" sister. But after that night, we have changed her nickname to Dropsy...I think. She tried to give a friend a hug and dropped a beer bottle in the middle of the laundry room. I'd change her nickname to Spilly but that's reserved for the originally Spilly from my college days. Here's a pic of the guilty parties trying to clean up the glass next to the 5 gallons of eggnog. Yeah, it was strong eggnog.
Sorry some of the pics are blurry like this. Don't ever buy a Sony Cyber Shot camera. They suck.
There were a couple of girls in charge of the music with an Ipod outside. It was like listening to the thoughts of an ADD kid. One minute they'd put it on hip hop and then they'd put it on rock. But they finally landed on "Crank That" by Soulja Boy. Of course they knew the dance. I got a few pics of them dancing. These two girls actually did a good job.
Then this new girl jumped in and knew a little bit of the dance. That was the most comical part of the whole dance. She'd keep bumping into them and apparently doing it wrong, but she'd never stop and try to correct herself. Hey, everyone had fun so who cares right?
Everyone's favorite Memphis Celebutante Mendi was there of course. Here's a pic of yours truly with her. The antlers, sweater, and scarf are nice, but I wish I had a pic of her elf stockings. Those were classic.
We always have to keep up with our traditional shot pic. But there was nothing to shoot. Our drink choices were limited to wine, beer, and eggnog. So I chugged beer while she chugged wine.
This is a pic of one of the hosts, 3D. I'm not sure exactly what he was doing, but I think he may have had a spark land in his hair or something. They had two fire pits going, and that's really the only logical explanation I can come up with for this pic.
Here's Mendi again. No, Mendi! He's not a candy cane! That's just the wine talking to you!
No matter how gangsta you are, sometimes you just need someone's extra large glasses to make your gangsta image stand out that much more.
After the cops shut the party down (how old are we?), some the walking wounded including myself went to Newby's. Some genius (not me) said we needed shots. Some other genius (this was me) decided to buy a round of jager shots. Ugg. There were 12 of us. I bought 12 shots. And yet even though "everyone" took their shot, there was one left. Hmm...
No one was stupid enough to actually drink it so it was there after we left the bar. It was one hell of a party, and I'd like to thank those guys for having me there.
A few weeks later I went to a Christmas party thrown by a few guys from work. I'll post the video of this in my next post, but here are the Steps of Doom. There are two reasons for that name. For the first you'll need to see the videos. The second is because the damn bottom step was not as deep as it should be and the rest are very unsteady. So that makes walking up and down them very fun.
The last holiday party I went to was again downtown at JK's on December 23rd. I was probably the youngest person there, but it didn't really bother me because there were plenty of friends there. I had been hunting early that morning and the morning before in Tunica with Scottie Too Hottie (now known as Sloppy Scotty in honor of the appetizer at the Brookhaven Pub). Down on the farm there are several trees where mistletoe grows so one of the guys with us, Ford, shot down some. And when I say some, I mean a ton. Ol' Sloppy Scotty brought several bunches to the party and left them around the party. Most of us let them hang from our Santa hats. After most of the crowd started to leave, one of the guys hooked up his laptop to the stereo and they moved the coffee table from the middle of the living room. I'm kinda glad he did, but part of me wishes he hadn't. Why the conflicting feelings? Because although I said the girls above had ADD DJ syndrome, this guy actually did. He was HORRIBLE. He'd let 30 seconds of a song play and then skip to the next one. So you'd start dancing and then the music would stop. Everyone in our group was complaining loudly but he never paid any attention. He kept ruining the mood.
There were certain songs he'd play completely through though. One was that Soulja Boy song (twice in one post!). I tried to do a little bit of the dance based on what I saw at the Tacky Xmas Party (somehow the vodka I had been drinking messed up my good judgement). I was quickly told I was wrong by one of the women at the party (she's the second from the left in the next picture). The fact that she said it isn't that great, but the way she said it is priceless:
Her: "Look, you're doing it wrong. You have to do it like this." (she shows me)
Me: "I don't think you're right."
Her: "I have a 13 year old son. Trust me, I know this dance."
I really wanted to tell her that her son was born before I was even out of high school, but I really didn't want to ruin her Christmas by making her feel that old. So I just said ok and let her keep dancing while I stood to the side with my friends until the next song.

So we kept dancing. Sloppy Scotty put his moves out on the dancefloor. I have to say, no one will ever mistake him for Fred Astaire. Here's a pic of him with DD.
Here's the final pic I took that night. It's Ford and Brooks standing on the sidelines while all the old women were on the dancefloor going crazy for "Baby Got Back."
Despite what you may be thinking, I believe Ford is probably saying what the rest of us were thinking: most of those women didn't need to dance to that song and draw any more attention to their "backs." Btw we did have a nice conversation trying to figure which ones were cougars and which ones were future cougars (I told you I was probably the youngest person there).
I hope you had a fun Christmas Party season. I'll try to get the videos up tonight or tomorrow, but you know I can't promise anything.
 
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