I'm going to tell you a story. This is a true story. The names of some have been changed. Some of the facts have been changed for two reasons:
1. To protect those involved because, well, I don't know how to contact some of the people involve and I wouldn't try to contact others.
2. I remember the story as I have told it over the past 6 years. After 6 years some details may have inadvertantly changed.
Here is your bedtime story:
Back in college, I lived in the Fraternity house during the fall semester of my freshman year. Our house was built in an L shape. I lived in the first room on the right after you came upstairs. My neighbor who will be called "Val Venis" was a junior (I am calling him Val Venis after the pro wrestler that he thought was the funniest guy in the world that year. Obviously that's not his real name).
I'll give you a little background on Val Venis. He was from another Southern state. A very nice guy. Very studious (he is in post-graduate school in a medicine-related field). He had a nice, loving family. He worked out 6 days a week. He was a huge guy, but a gentle giant.
One random December weekend just before exams and Xmas break, a few girls came over to the house for a late night. A few were semi-regulars in this one group with a particular girl who wasn't in school yet. Val Venis met this particular girl and found out that she was starting her freshman year in the spring there at Ole Miss. This particular girl we will call Corvette (I'll give the reason for that later). That was the last I heard of the story until the spring semester started.
Corvette Timeline: Known Each Other for One Month (Mid-December to Mid-January)
The start of the spring semester was a period of new beginnings and changes that year. My parents decided that living in the fraternity house was not in my best interest so they moved me to a dorm. I kept my room in the fraternity house but lived in the dorm.
Much like my change in living accommodations, Val Venis had a change of venue. No, he didn't move out of his room. He started dating Corvette and spent every night in her dorm room at Martin (the women's dormitory). He ended up staying there ALL SPRING. For those of you who don't know why this is a big deal, let me "splain it to you Lucy": men were not allowed in the women's dorms after 12 or 1. That means that every night all spring long, he snuck into her dorm building after 2, took the stairs to her floor, snuck to her room, and was out by 6 AM. If he had been caught, he would have been arrested for trespassing. Literally, I knew people that were drunk and were caught. If you were somewhat sober, you could run away from the security guard downstairs (nicknamed Fat Bastard because HE LOOKED LIKE FAT BASTARD!!)
A few weeks into the spring semester, Val Venis actually brought her by the house to meet the guys. Since he spent every waking moment over in her dorm and most the night there too, we never got to see him much. A few of the guys were talking to her and out of the blue she said the following:
"I'm really mad at my daddy. He traded in my corvette for my beemer. I miss my corvette."
Hence the nickname Corvette. This has been quoted so many times, I'm 100% sure it's verbatim. FYI a beemer is a BMW.
So Val Venis and Corvette were attached at the hip. No big deal right? Everyone has a girlfriend or two like that in college. We planned to go to Panama City Beach for spring break (aka the Redneck Riviera). I mean we had probably 30-40 people total going down there. I was in a group of about15 that got rooms at one hotel. Val Venis and Corvette decided...no wait, Corvette decided that Val Venis would share the fee for a room with us, but she'd get a suite from "Daddy" in the adjourning tower at the hotel. The suite was two bed rooms. She told "Daddy" that she her four girlfriends would stay there. When we were about to leave for PCB, Val Venis informed us he was riding with her and staying in her room. I was thrilled because now I got my own bed.
While we were in PCB, we (i.e. everyone else) saw Val Venis and Corvette two times. TWO TIMES in 7 days. No big deal right? Oh wait, we were staying in the same hotel. One of the times, it was because I went to their room just to make sure they were alive. This is what I saw:
Two bedrooms. One had three girls and their luggage in it with a full sized bed (not a queen). The other room had Corvette clothes and makeup thrown everyone (she wore too much btw) and a King Sized Bed. What a nice friend she is to the other three girls, right? That was the extent of our interaction with Corvette and Val Venis. But that's not all that happened as we found out post-spring break.
While they were there, they made a run to the liquor store. Corvette said "Val, I don't understand why everyone keeps telling us we need to wait to get married."
Val "Yea, I hear you."
Corvette "Then it's settled. We'll get married this summer!!!"
Corvette Timeline: Three Months (Mid-December to Mid-March)
That was the "marriage proposal". So now Val Venis and Corvette were getting married that summer. We never saw them much even at FIJI Island our big spring party. Mostly because Corvette was jealous and didn't want Val around any other girls. Literally, that was explained to us. From him. (F-ing weird)
Spring came and went. That July was the big day. Corvette would not let Val have a bachelor party or even just one last night drinking with the boys. Grandparents on both sides refused to come to the wedding. Guys from the house were literally debating whether or not to attend because she was such a bitch.
At the rehearsal dinner, you could have cut the tension with a knife. Neither set of parents approved (his less than hers), but they loved their children and supported them. Anytime one of the guys who was there (I was not in the wedding and not invited to the dinner) got up to give a toast (not roast, but toast), Corvette just glared at them with hatred. No one said anything bad. After the dinner was over, everyone was leaving and the groomsmen were trying to convince Val to come have one last "free man's" drink with them. He was hesitant. When Corvette found out about this, she said "Val, I want you to stay with me."
He turned to the guys and said "I'm not going."
They pleaded with him and then tried to carry him out. Like I said before, he worked out 6 days a week. He bowed up and shoved one guy back very forcefully. "I'm not going."
The general response was "Fine! F-U! Make your own mistake!" They left and went to have a wake for Val at a bar in Memphis (the wedding was in Coldwater, Independence, or Nesbit, MS).
We later found out that Val and Corvette went back to the hotel where he was staying. They got in the hot tub and then a few hours later, went to his room. They then woke up together ON THE DAY OF THEIR WEDDING and she went home to change into her dress. Let me repeat that:
THEY WOKE UP TOGETHER ON THE DAY OF THEIR WEDDING
I just wanted to make sure you read that part.
The wedding was a small Baptist thing. The reception was in the back of the church. It looked like they had moved everything from the Sunday school room to the sides so people would have somewhere to stand. On the left side of the room was the grooms cake. On the right, the brides. Back of the room was the wedding cake.
I introduced myself to the parents on both side. It was from a family member on his side that I found out about the hot tub the night before. Everyone from the Fraternity who came stood by the grooms cake milling around. As soon as they came in the room, she walked him to the right side of the room. 30 minutes after they had walked in, he stepped away to come say hi to us. He was there two minutes before she called him back over to see more of her friends that he still hadn't met. That was the last time that day she let him get away from her side. Does anyone else notice a pattern here?
Corvette Timeline: Seven Months (Mid-December to Mid-July)
That fall raced by. We hardly ever saw Val Venis. Her parents bought them a condo (not a nice one). I joked whenever I actually did see him that I was going to come and throw food through the bars on the balcony to see if I could get some food to his cage.
This is what happened that fall between them:
He worked 40 hours a week at Dominoes and took 18 hours in school (plus 3 labs, so actually 21 hours). She took 12 hours and went shopping. She was spending all the money he made plus still using "Daddy's" credit cards. She went out and bought rims.
And that was all I ever heard about it. We never saw him. It was kinda sad. But things got really bad. Everything I am about to tell you I didn't find out until December.
When she was not spending his money, she was alienating him from his family. She called his mother and after winning her confidence, started telling her that he beat her. I'm sorry but I don't know when he could fit that into his schedule. She told her folks the same thing. She played mind games with everyone on both sides. And he was trapped.
Sometime in October, the big word came down. I don't know if Val said it or if Corvette did. But someone said Divorce.
CORVETTE TIMELINE: TEN MONTHS (MID-DECEMBER TO OCTOBER)
By the time November began, the divorce was being finalized. He just wanted out and nothing to do with her. The truth came to light and everyone knew he never hit her. In fact, I heard that she had actually hit him in one fight, but he never swung back (smart guy, actually).
In mid-November, the divorce was final. Val was physically and emotionally exhausted. But he was free of that crazy biotch.
That's the story of my friend who met a girl and divorced her in less than 12 months.
G'night.
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3 comments:
Here's another thought: How 'bout waiting a while before getting hitched? You know, so the two people involved have the chance to actually get to know one another.
Damn. My father would have found a way to stop the marriage if that was me. Engaged, married, and divorced within a year. Impressive.
long, yes...
sad, yes...
thankfully, there are no kids, right?
moral? sex isn't everything?
Even her friends thought she was nuts (I met some of them around Oxford a few years later).
One came up and said "Hi. I'm soandso, Misty's friend." It took me a while to remember that Corvette was Misty.
I eventually asked her what she thought of the whole deal. Her words exactly:
We knew she was crazy, but we never knew how crazy she was.
Charly - I agree. In fact everyone but the unhappy couple agreed.
MG - Moral (as I saw it) is to date AT LEAST a year before talking about marriage.
And no kids or pets (besides him).
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