Weekend Recap

Before I get started, do you fellow Memfricanos remember that bad rain storm that came through Wednesday last week? This is a pic from Airways & Central at 7:50 IN THE MORNING. For those of you who can't realize what the problem is, let me explain it to you: at 7:50, even if we have a bad rainstorm, the sky isn't black like this.So it’s finally Monday, and I am tired. I don’t know why. The last time I posted anything was at the office Friday night about ten after 7. After I finished posting, I didn’t leave for another 20 minutes. I raced home (like I had predicted) and took a fast shower. I turned on my computer and cranked up the stereo. The roommate was gone so I left the door open and jammed out in the shower. It made the day just fade away.

I left the house at 8:30 and ran up to Newby’s. Is it a bad omen when you are walking to the bar and this pic is you see across the street at the Dominoes?

Walked in and found HM with the FIJI boys and grad brothers from the University of Memphis State University chapter. I wasn’t a member of this chapter, but HM invited me along. It turned out to be a great time.

That was one of two reasons I headed up to Newby’s Friday. The other was to watch Ingram Hill at the Phoenix Club Fundraiser. The crowd sucked. I don’t know if they made money. It was bubble gum rock. The only time I was actually entertained was for the cover of Phil Collins’ “In The Air Tonight”. That was ok, but the highlight was the girl next to me, Bonnie, sang it to me. Funny thing was she kept screwing up the words and wanted to hit the drums too early. They’d get to the end of a verse and she’d try to air drum it with my buddies wife and they’d both be early. Way early. Other than that Ingram Hill sucks. Sorry. I’m not a 19 year old girl who doesn’t know what decent music sounds like. Or a 19 year old guy who is there in the hope that said girl might think he’s deep because he came to hear the band (but everyone knows he came to try and get laid).

Funny story, though. There was some groupie walking around. She had on jeans and some type of jacket (like a blazer, but it wasn’t a blazer). The jacket was buttoned tightly around her waist which allowed the top front to open wide but still tight and show her store bought teats. I think I pissed her off when I was standing at the door with a few of the Phoenix guys. She walked past. No wait, she walked through our group. She had that bitchy attitude that you just hate. While she stumbled through, she made some comment to someone about her name being Tiffany or someone called her Tiffany. I just piped up and to no one in particular, said “Hey, her name is Tiffany. She’s with the band.” She looked back at me with a half puzzled, half deer-in-headlights look. The gears in her head turned over and I think she realized that I was making fun of her attitude. But hey she had a backstage pass to get on the bus. She stared at me. I didn’t back down. She turned to the drunk guy walking around with her. He looked at me sized me and realized it wasn’t worth it. I don’t know how he came to that conclusion. He was younger and much more drunk than I was. Maybe the fact that the security guards were all standing there with me and we were about to escort the cash box to the Phoenix President’s car. I don’t know. But she gave me the eat-shit-and-die look. Whatever, if she can’t take a joke, forget her. Besides I’m sure she needed to go on the bus and get friendly with the band.

Another funny story, I took no responsibility at the concert. There were other Phoenix guys who were working. Me? I won’t work anymore events. Ever. (I’ll tell that story another time) so I was standing at the door with my friends who were trying to sell the merchandise. This group of ladies (I’m being nice here) walked out and someone said “Hey, yall need to buy some Tshirts!!!”
The girls looked at them and then the tshirts. They gave a polite “No thanks.”
My buddy Brown said “Well hey, how about some Ingram Hill panties? I’ll model them for you!!”
(Let me pause and say one thing: Brown is married to one of the sweetest, lovely women in the world. She was standing there during this whole thing, laughing.)
So Brown modeled the panties for them. They still didn’t buy them. Don’t believe me? Check out the pics. First is Brown when he wasn't expecting a pic. I think his sister was either putting some tickets in his shirt pocket or taking them out.
After I took that one, he said "Wait, let me pose for the ladies!!! Maybe then they'll buy it!"And yes, those are the panties that Ingram Hill sells at their concerts. I told you they were bubble gum. I have changed my mind. They are douches.

So obviously I behaved myself most of the night. I had about 6-7 Rockstars (like Red Bull and Vodka, but Newby’s has a deal with Rockstar I guess) between 9 and 12 when I left. I got home and crawled into bed. I tried to sleep. After about 30 minutes, I realized I had more caffeine in me than I’d had over the entire last month. So I turned on my computer and made two mixes to pass the time. And then I watched Old School. About 2-2:30 I was finally able to fall asleep.

I got up around 7, took a shower, and raced to the office for inventory. That was boring with no good stories. Sorry. I stayed after it was over and and cleaned up around my desk a bunch (if you’ve ever seen my desk, you’d know why). I left and was going to race home and go to the Crawfish boil. I get a call from my buddy Todd.
“Hey man, where are you? What time are you getting here?”
“Get where for what?”
“The cookout, man. You promised me last week you were going to come by.”
I stopped by on the way home from work. I told myself I was only going to be a few minutes. Next thing I know, I’ve had a few burgers and a lot of beers, and I have dropped my phone in a cup of beer. I race home, shower and race over to the Crawfish Boil. I get there. The crawfish area is cleaned up. People are watching a movie and the rest are outside sitting down. There is no one left who is rowdy. I stay about an hour and have a nice epiphany. Somehow every year, I screw up getting to this party. Something comes up and I don’t get there on time or whatever. Last year, I got there 45 minutes after the last batch of crawfish were cooked. This year I get there well after sunrise. But every other party Jennie and Walker throw, I am on time. Oh well, I still had fun.

Oh yeah, the phone didn’t start working properly again until after I got back home Saturday night. It is Monday morning and it still smells of two day old beer. Nice right?

Sunday I roll out of bed around 11. I went to the couch to start watching TV and said screw that. I read on the couch instead. After a while I realized how beautiful it was outside. I walked out, sat in the sun, and read. About an hour later, the roommate came home from Church. One of his friends was confirmed and they went to that and then to Sleep Out Louie’s. After a while we cleaned the kitchen. It looks great now. I went back and read on the front porch out of the sun. I ordered two pizzas for Sopranos night and left to get them before heading over to DP&AT’s house. As I walked out, this lady pulled up to watch TV with the roommate. She has to be the hottest girl I have seen in the last 6 months. Easily. I was in pure shock. I only saw her for a minute so I don’t know how much is natural beauty and what not.

I went to pick up the pizza. I got the Alternative and the BBQ Chicken from Memphis Pizza Café. I actually liked the Alternative better. Sopranos rocked. AT had her bachelorette party the night before. Some of the less risqué gifts were sitting around the living room. It is amazing what clean cut girls will buy their friends for bachelorette parties. That’s all I’ll say about that.

I cut out after Sopranos and went home. I read until about 12 and the fell asleep. That was my weekend. How legendary was yours?

Songs on the Playlist:
Jimmy Buffett – Lovely Cruise
North Mississippi Allstars – Someday Baby
James Brown – Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag
Hank Williams – Hey Good Looking
Kris Kristofferson – Sunday Morning Coming Down
Joe Diffie – Pickup Man
Bush – Monkey
Billy Joel – Uptown Girl
REM – (Don’t Go Back To) Rockville
Brooks & Dunn – Only In America
ZZ Top – Waiting for the Bus>Jesus Just Left Chicago
Oasis – Wonderwall
Animotion – Obsession
Phish – Harry Hood
Nickelback – Figured You Out


charly said...

I commend you for your descriptiveness. My weekend? I ate. I drank. I slept. I shit - not so legendary at all.

Anonymous said...

.. You may not like Ingram Hill, but how fucking disrespectful can you be? They're doing what they love to do.. and with or without you they are doing JUST FINE! You don't have to like them, but you could respect them... and the pantys .. they sell well! One more way to make money to keep doing what they enjoy doing best. So actually get to know someone, try not to be a dick, and don't judge people...

(Especially Tiffany, you obviously don't know her at all. she's a sweetheart, but then again .. if a dick like you came along in front of me ..i'd be a bitch to you too)

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