2/10/2006

White Death 2006 or why I am glad I don't live in the Suburbs

Let's talk about it folks. WHITE DEATH FROM ABOVE 2006. The snow that will kill all of Memphis has finally arrived. Run towards the South and save yourself! We will all perish this weekend from a cold and silent killer. Ha! The Hoopleheads in this town are absolutely ridiculous. They can't drive and they, not the weather, screw up the road.
Everyone with kids in school/daycare left the office today between 2:30 and 3:30. One guy left around 3:20. He called me at 4:05. He had just gotten to Union Baptist at Union & Cooper. Quick logistics lesson: our office is in South Memphis right off exit 8 or 9 on I-55. To get to Union & Cooper from our office, you take I-55 to malfunction junction, midtown 240 to the Union Ave exit, and Union straight to Cooper. On a good day in rush hour, it should take no longer than 15-20 minutes tops. On the weekends, I'd say probably 10 minutes. It took him 45 minutes. He said everyone on the interstate was going 25 mph and it was bumper to bumper. He said Union was worse with everyone going 15 to 20 mph. There were the various hoodies with their spinners darting in and out of traffic of course, but that's a given. Anyway, he left Union & Cooper around 4:10. He lives near Kimbrough & Poplar in G'town. At 4:50 I left the office. I drove to the post office on Union and then came home. I was home at 5:15. At that point I called him. He was almost to Kirby in Gtown. That's bad. That's why I like living in Midtown as opposed to the suburbs. Traffic on Peabody is very low right now.
I spoke to my folks. My dad left at 4:30 and had to drive almost to Collierville. It was bumper to bumper the whole way. He got home sometime after 5:30. That is ridiculous.

Anyway, Midtown rocks. I love it. Weird thing is I grew up in G'town and was always wary of Midtown. I've lived here since April 2003 and I still love it.

The other thing I've noticed about the WHITE DEATH FROM ABOVE 2006, every weather nerd in the Memphis area is walking around with a massive hard-on. Anyone else ever notice how anytime we have any type of severe/crazy weather these guys act like they are on crack? WTF? They are talking about it on Fox 13 and they just interviewed some truck driver about the conditions. He was some damn coon-ass from Louisianna. Real funny. I love that coonass accent. They just got him back on camera: "You know, it jus da snow. It gon' be worth da wait."

Songs on the Playlist:
Jimmy Buffett "License To Chill" album

2 comments:

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