Friday: hookers, pimps, cybertech, and empty pints

So yeah.

I had a decent day. How was yours? Glad to hear it. No really I am.

So anyway, it was a typical Friday, but we had incliment weather in the area...AGAIN. I mean a bad rain. Everyone told me there was hail falling all over the city. Shortly after the rain stopped the other guy at work came back from picking up his lunch and I ran some errands. I ran to my bank and then had to stop by another bank's branch to pay a bill. The problem was that between my office and where my bank was there are two offices of the other bank. One is on 3rd Street in South Memphis and they have 4 inch thick BULLET PROOF GLASS. The other is on Brooks Road.

For those of you who are, well, unfamiliar with Memphis, let me take a brief moment to explain something about Memphis. There are four streets in Memphis that are notorious for having women walk them. They are Summer Ave, Third Street (south of the interstate), Lamar Ave, and Brooks Rd. How do I know this? Well that burning senstation...KIDDING. Just watch the news. Or live with a cop. I've heard stories (that will not be repeated!) about arrests for prostitution. It will blow your mind.

So I thought to myself as I was racing back to the office, "hmm...bullet proof glass or hookers on the street. Which is safer?" I decided that Brooks Road was safer because a hooker won't shoot you (I hope) and it had just finished raining...with hail, so there won't be any hookers out. Wow, I love being right. Because here we have a pic of a lady just walking down Brooks Road. I wish I had a better pic of her because she can't be a hooker! Oh no! She has to be some hard working woman walking down the street to pick up lunch or somethi...oh my God! She is a hooker! Amazing. It must be hard out here for a pimp if he's got his hoes running the trails after weather like that. Thanks for explaining that to us Three 6 Mafia. Well after I drove past her, I went to the bank, paid the bill and headed back to the office. I thought I might see her so I could get a shot of her face for you because...she was a little rough on the eyes. Excuse me while I go puke.

Unfortunately, she was no where around (must be behind a building or something), but I was able to get a pic of what may be her pimp:

Are those spinners? Haha.

Ok enough with the hookers and pimps. Here are a few shots of "landmarks" I saw on Brooks Road. These first two pics are of the same location. I tried to get a better shot, but the traffic started rolling. What we have here is an OLD gas station that apparently was turned into some company that is no longer in business. Hmm...I wonder how a company called Cybertech that is located IN AN OLD GAS STATION IN THE FRIGGIN HOOD could go out of business? I really want to meet the rocket scientist who gave those guys a loan. I bet the bank didn't fire his ass.

The other thing about Brooks Road that you need to understand is not only does it have plenty of hookers to give you some type of STD. It also has a few strip clubs (here are a couple of nicknames my friends have for them: 'Titty Clubs' and 'Shake Joints'). There was one called the King of Clubs that was closed because it was a public nuisance and was closed by the city. How is it a public nuisance and none of the others are? Well, it was 18 and up. And it was cited for many, many times for prostitution (again watch the local news and you'll hear all this shit).

Well I wonder when they reopen under new management or whatever if it will be considered a public nuisance? Look at the pic of some obvious construction and make your own judgement:

I'm pretty sure that those silver things over the entrance are going to become legs and an ass. I'll have to drive by sometime and get a pic when it's done.

So after I hightailed it from Brooks Road I stopped by the newly remodeled Subway on South Third (which is really cleaned up and has some cool folks who work there). As I got out of the trunk I looked down and saw this. I don't have any thing to really say about it. I just think it is a cool shot...even though it is an empty pint bottle in a puddle. I like the way the sun is reflecting off the puddle and all the drops of water in the bottle (it was half submerged).

So why am I posting this at 1 in the morning? Why am I not out boozing it up or in bed resting up for Saturday and Sunday? Well, I watch the Grizzlies win tonight and fell asleep on the couch. Then I got a text message from the Friggin Douche (yes, that is his nickname, but only a few know him as that). He was drinking up at the Brookhaven pub. I told him I'd come have a beer or two with him. He was there with some singer dude named Nick Pagliari. (Yes "singer dude" is an official description) We hung out for a few beers and then I came home. About the time I got home, I realized I still hadn't posted the hooker thing. So now I have this HUGE post that if you are still reading, kudos to you.

Ok, I'm going to bed. Adios muchachas!


Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

You stay classy, Memphis!

Did I ever tell you about the first time I went from Oxford to the Memphis Airport?

I got lost in the hood, had to call my mom collect and get [mapquest] directions out. And then when I stopped to pay for gas, I swear to god, the cashier looked like Elvis. No shit.

True story.

Philip said...

I don't doubt it.

hibelu said...

What no needles? I think I'll stick to nashville.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

The hookers in our town have been having a field day...we haven't had rain for 42 days straight (until this past Saturday night). ;)

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