Weekend Recap (April 28-30)

I know this is late coming but hey, give me a break. When you read this, you will realize why I am exhausted.

Friday I was working late (again) for the end of the month. DP & AT called me to see if I’d go to dinner with them at the Belmont (at Poplar & Mendenhall in East Memphis). I said sure and we met for dinner and beers at 7. They were late of course. They live 3 minutes away. I live 10. I beat them by 20 minutes. After that I actually talked them into going to Newby’s with me. We got there. DP was going to only have one beer and leave at 9:30. At 9:30 I had bought him 2 beers and he still hadn’t looked at his watch. We had a few great lies told. There were a lot of jokes. In general we had a great time. About 10:15, he said he was tired of beer, so I ordered him a Jack & Coke. He said he didn’t want it, but he drank that one and another anyway. AT didn’t need any convincing to keep drinking Coronas. Here are two pics from that night:

This first is DP & AT. After next weekend their nicknames will change. The next is DP and me. I am a stud. Or at least that's what I was thinking Friday night.

Because of this night I think I have found the way to keep DP at a bar. Let me explain: DP is getting married this coming weekend. Since he got engaged, he never goes out anymore. The fact that he came out Friday night after dinner (and again on Sunday) blows my mind. In a good way. He is always fun to hang around. So here’s the secret keep buying him drinks. The only real reason I was willing to do that initially was because he bought dinner for all three of us. So I didn’t mind buy their drinks. It was fun.

Saturday I woke up about 9:30. I rolled out of bed and screwed around for a while. I went to the gym, took a shower, and got ready for the Memphi & Ptolemy Picnic in Nesbit, MS. Let me describe the weather to my non-Memphis readers:
Windy between 20 & 30 MPH. Slight rain on & off all day. It was in the 60s for the high. Normally it is sunny and breezy and warm in Memphis this time of year. It was an absolutely freaky weather. So it made the layout of the party different.

The family who hosted it have about 150 acres or so. A huge house and a huge barn. Because of the bad weather, everything was set up in the barn (tables, buffet, band). Of course the petting zoo was still outside. They had a pond and I brought my fishing gear, but the weather wasn’t that great, so I blew that idea off. I had about 4 beers over the 2 hours I was there. I had a great time. I didn’t get any pics though. I am pissed about that.

After that I drove like a bat outta hell getting back to Memphis (15-20 minute drive) because I had Ross & Sloan’s wedding at 6:30 in Cordova. Logistically, there was no way I could leave the picnic after 5 and get to the wedding in time (I had to shower). I left the picnic at 5:20 and got to the wedding at 6:24. Absolutely amazing. I didn’t even get dressed in the car either!

Ross and Sloan had a wonderful wedding. The reception was great except for three things:
1. All single women there had dates.
2. There was a pregnant woman with a physically enhanced chest wearing a ridiculously low V cut dress. Don’t call me a perv yet. It was cut so low that it showed below where the breasts touch each other. It showed to the point where they stop touching each other. How did I know she was pregnant? Well no, she didn’t have a pregnant belly. She told me in line when we were at the sushi table (random chance btw) with these exact words:
Her: “Oh, maybe I shouldn’t get that one!”
Me: “Why not?”
Her: “Well, I’m pregnant and I’m not supposed to eat the raw ones. But I am craving it so I guess I’ll have it.”
I really hope her kid turns out ok other than the fact it’ll have a ditz for a mother. I actually had to scratch my head after she left to eat the raw sushi.
3. I didn’t get the garter. Ross threw it and as I reached up, some 16 year old cousin of his (with braces!) elbowed me in the stomach and boxed me out as he grabbed it. It happened so fast that I stood there staring in shock as I tried to figure out if that had actually just happened. So much for my streak of garters (this was going to be #3 in a row), I’ll have to start over this weekend at one.

Another funny thing at the wedding: I was exhausted about halfway through the reception (I ate a TON of the sushi). I actually walked outside to leave early. As I was looking for my truck, a giant gust of wind came and hit me in the face. I literally got my second wind and went back in. I walked back in and said to my buddies “I’m back baby! I got my second wind!” They proceeded to laugh before I could explain the wind thing. They started hinting that I had gone to my truck to do cocaine. Ok, they know me. I don’t do coke. I don’t see the appeal in it (although I know plenty of people who do). I never have and I never will. I told them to “f off” and went to grab another beer. About 45 minutes later (post-garter debacle) I cut out. I was exhausted again. I went home.

Sunday I got up at 11:00. I woke up several times before that and everytime I looked at the window I couldn’t believe there was sunlight coming in (it was supposed to be miserable like Saturday). I ran to the gym and raced home. DP came over about 1:15 and we headed to the poker run. That was a blast. Here is a quick explanation of a Poker Run:
There are 5-6 locations for stops. You go to each one and get an envelope. Each envelope has a card in it. When you get back to the home base, you open all your envelopes and make the best poker hand you can. Best hands win prizes.
Here’s how we did it:
You have each location be a bar on Beale Street. The headquarters is at T.J. Mulligans in the Pinch District by the Pyramid. You start at headquarters and ride a trolley down main street to Beale. Afterwards you take a trolley back to the Pinch District.

So DP and I got to T.J. Mulligans about 1:40. We registered and grabbed a bloody mary to start off. “The ex” wanted me to run her hand since she had to work one of the locations. I told her no thanks and she got pissed. She still doesn’t understand Quid Pro Quo I guess.

DP, Scott, Dominic, Matt, Jason, and I started out together. I think that was probably the last time all of us were together. We take the trolley with a bunch of other folks and start towards Rum Boogie Café. It was so crowded I said “let’s get a drink at the next spot”. The next spot was crowded too (King’s Palace outside). So we went to the third bar: Silky O’Sullivan’s. We rolled in there and it wasn’t as crowded. Mark asked if I wanted in on his diver. So we stayed there for about an hour drinking. I had more than my share of two divers and then two Coronas. Here is a pic of us drinking the first diver.

I’m on the right. You can see (left to right) Mark, Felix, Jennie, and Chris. Chris is the crazy guy looking at the camera and not drinking (amateur). If you've never had a diver, you don't know what you're missing. It's a touristy drink with beer and some fruity drink mixed together and put in that bucket. They give you a ton of straws and people act like idiots and drink it (see pic for example of idiots, me included, haha).

After that we went to the next stop at the Pig. Unfortunately the table was set up outside and it wasn’t anything fancy. So we went to the next stop for more drinks. We headed to Club 152. This was literally my first time there. Yea, I don’t like clubs. But it reminded me of everyone I went to back in Cancun years ago. I may head back sometime (despite the metal detector thing). We stayed there for…I don’t know how long. But I had 3 and half Coronas. Why only 3 and half? I finished the second half on the trolley.

When we got back to T.J. Mulligans, I didn’t have a good hand. I could have bought more cards for $5 each, but when I saw some dude pull out 4 kings, I decided to save my money. I did decide to enter the drink contest. Different groups (i.e. the other Krewe’s royalty) made drinks for the contest. It ended up being 10 drinks (Ptolemy removed theirs from the running in good taste). Each drink was about the amount of a shot. I didn’t do the one that smelled like Jagermeister on purpose. But I ended up doing the other 9. In three minutes. Everyone else was tasting and enjoying. I walked up and somehow channeled Tucker Max:
I grabbed number one. It was smooth. Number two was also smooth. After that I forget which ones tasted good and which didn’t. I just shot them all in three minutes. One of my friends (Joey R I think) just stared like “what the hell are you doing?”

I do remember that number 8 was awesome (turned out to be my mom’s group). I found out later it was a frozen mint julep. Badass.

After that I had a few more Coronas until DP decided to get revenge for making him drink a few whiskey drinks Friday night. He said he was going to buy my next and brought me a Red Bull & Vodka. It went down smooth.

After that I decided to walk around the silent auction again. I wrote down bids again on the massage and the dinner for two at Jim’s Place East. I ended up getting both. Funny thing is the massage is from King Trip’s sister-in-law. Is that a bad thing? I don’t know. But it is funny because I recall joking with him about her giving me a massage one day back at the Xmas party.

After this debacle ended, DP and I took off back to the Ponderosa (i.e. my house). He went home in his car, and I raced to Memphis Pizza Café. I got a large Alternative. I really like that. We watched Sopranos.

I left their house and went home. Had a great weekend. I think I need another one just to make up for and this next one won’t be it. It’s going to be just as crazy.

Have a great evening.

Songs on the Playlist:
Barenaked Ladies – Brian Wilson
Tim McGraw – Something Like That
Jimmy Buffett – She’s Got You
Jack Johnson – Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
Stevie Ray Vaughan – Texas Flood
Dave Matthews Band – Crush
Jimmy Buffett – They Don’t Dance Like Carmen No More
R.E.M. – Stand
Pink Floyd – Eclipse
Wilson Pickett – Mustang Sally
U2 – In God’s Country
George Strait – The Chair
Stone Temple Pilots – Silver Gun Superman
Weezer – Beverly Hills
Lemonheads – Into Your Arms
Jimmy Buffett – Frenchman for the Night
Stevie Ray Vaughan – Stang’s Swang
Beastie Boys – Intergalactic
O.A.R. – Hey Girl
Alice Cooper – No More Mr. Nice Guy
Marvin Gaye – Let’s Get It On
The Band – Forever Young (from The Last Waltz)
Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell – You’re All I Need To Get By