Friday Night Recap - Newby's

Ok, as I was going over the evening for this post, I looked at my bar tabs from last night. Holy crap. I'm not going to say what I spent, all I'm going to say about it is that I am shocked. Kinda blows my mind. Enough of that. Let's talk about last night.
I started emailing, making myspace comments, and sending text messages to everyone around 3:30. Some bug must have bit my ass because I wanted a ridiculous crowd to come drinking with me. Here's the general message that many of you got:
"Hey, come to Newby's tonight. Marc Broussard is playing. I'm ready to party."
Funny thing is they sold out of tickets for that show before I got to the bar. But I'll get to that later.
I ended up leaving work around 6. I got home and just wanted to unwind before I started partying. I picked up some McAllisters and grabbed a bite to eat. DP & AP wanted to eat at Newby's so they got there at 8. I hung out at home and eventually got in the shower about 8:15. The brother got to my house about 8:45. We hopped in the truck and picked up HM. We rolled to the Highland Strip and walked to the bar. It turns out that DP & AP left within 5 minutes of us walking in. They were never to be seen again (apparently if you get married in your 20's, you lose all your coolness and have to be asleep before 10 on a Friday night).
The bar side was crowded and the band side had a friggin line out the doors. We walk in and order a few cocktails. I started with a Rockstar and Vodka. HM and the brother both had 1792 with a splash of water (damn good bourbon). We walked the room and I saw Dom. He said that the show sold out about a good hour and half before we got there. So basically I had told a ton of folks that I was going to a show that I couldn't even get tickets for. Oh well. After that show ended I heard that it was so packed in there that the A/C couldn't keep it cool.
We saw a few more folks around the room and then headed to an open booth in the side room. We were there a little while when the Shady Hasbeen showed up with Kenny and his wife Mallory (whom the last time I hung out with them I thought was called Valerie). We hung out for a while until Gordo showed up. I'm not going to give a chronological recap of the evening because I'll miss stuff. Here are a few stories I remember and then I'll post pics:
The Shady Hasbeen got up to go see the bouncer at the door. She walked over there and he said hello in a too familiar way (he playfully grabbed her butt when she hugged him hello). This freaked Mallory out. She would not stop saying how she thought he was molesting her. That led to the running joke of the night. Anything we did somehow revolved around someone "being molested."

The last time I went drinking with Kenny, Mallory, and the Shady Hasbeen I learned that these two have a strong love for buttery nipple shots. After they had been there about 15 minutes, I ordered a round for the two of them. They both said "Yay! Our favorites! Thank you!" I told them these were the only ones that I was going to get them. Then I bought another 6 rounds throughout the rest of the night secretly. Lauren (our badass waitress and all around hottie) would bring two shots, set them in front of the girls, and leave without saying anything. She was a perfect accomplice. The girls kept asking who was buying the shots and trying to get me to confess. I kept reminding them that I was only going to buy them one for the entire night. Yeah, they were drunk after the last one I bought. But hey, we all were. At the end of the night, I blatantly ordered another round for them and forgot to do it where they couldn't see me order them. Oh well. I got busted:
Them: "Philip, did you just order shots for us?"
Me: "Shit. I mean, no. No I didn't."
Them: "We knew it!"
Me: "Shit."

At one point in the evening Gordo (or "shutterbug" to several of his friends) decided to take my camera so he could get pics of people in the bar (read: hot chicks). These are the two pics he took:

Ok the guy in the blue hat in the pic above is our buddy Todd who owns Newby's. But we have no idea who the rest of the folks are. Gordo just wanted pics of people.After taking pics, Gordo came back and said "You know Philip, I couldn't really find an excuse to take pics of any of the hot chicks. I felt like some dirty old guy with a camera." I said "Gordo, you felt that way because that's what you were doing. You were being that guy with the camera."

While we missed Marc Broussard next door, there was a band on the bar side. Chris Brown played and did a damn good job with Voodoo Chile (Slight Return). He was good. He had a ton of girls dancing. Todd told me that this was Chris's last gig in Memphis. He's heading to LA. He's got talent.

Ok, here are the other pics from the rest of the night and the stories that go with them.

We are going to start our pics towards the beginning of the evening before the debauchery got too bad. Here is a pic of some sexy dude with a Shady Hasbeen.Here is a pic of Gordo with the Shady Hasbeen.Here I am with the brother. Yeah, if you can't tell, we are some sexy mofos, and we have the attitude to prove it. Seriously when the hell did I start channeling the Rock and going that damn eyebrow thing? Now can you tell a difference between this pic of me and the earlier one? You can watch throughout the pics as I get sexier and sexier. Ha.The Shady Hasbeen grabbed my camera and decided we needed a self portrait of this.I told her I had a better idea for a pic. If you can't tell, the running joke from the evening is in the pic (hint: look at my right hand). I had just said something like "Hey Mallory, is this me molesting her? I want to make sure I know which lines I'm crossing."Ok, what the hell is the deal with the pic of legs? Can anyone tell me?Ok, this chick in the shorter jean skirt was dancing by their table all night...WITHOUT SHOES. Let's recap a few details to better explain the absurdity of this. She is dancing without shoes in a bar. They serve beer in bottle in bars. When bottles are dropped, they break. Broken glass is sharp. Sharp things cut your skin. So what have we learned? This girl is a real blonde.Here is a pic of the brother, the Shady Hasbeen, and HM. Gordo decided he wanted pics of the booth crowd. You know, after all the pics I've seen him take (millions) I'm surprised he hasn't learned about having glass behind someone when taking a pic.Here is Kenny, Mallory (or as I had blatantly started calling her at this point, Valerie), and the sexist dude in the bar.Here Gordo finally figures out how to take a pic of the whole table, but forgot about the flash off the glass.AAAA! The Rock has possessed me again!I guess only one person was ready for this pic. Can you guess which one?I totally forgot who took this pic, but it is most of us around Lauren.Here is Lauren and Gordo.Here is Todd and Lauren. Why does it look like the pic is being shot from on top of a mountain? Because at this point in the evening, I was sitting on the back of the booth with my feet in the seat. WTF?

That's all the pics I have...that I can post without losing a friend or two. Ok, I'm exhausted just reliving it. Have a good rest of the weekend.

Don't get none on ya


too tall said...

As always; I love to see you all having a great time @ Newby's!

Thanks for the good times,
Todd Adams.

Flynn said...

I so want to come to Memphis... you look like your having such a great time with your friends. I haven't had a night out like that in years. I guess when your 30 lifes becomes boring...at least for me... great pics thanks for sharing.

Joey D. said...

"Here is Kenny, Mallory (or as I had blatantly started calling her at this point, Valerie), and the sexist dude in the bar."

You might have meant "sexiest" in that comment. Or maybe not.

Either way, looks like one hell of a good time. Good to see that the Shady Hasbeen is continuing her shady ways. :)

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