12/20/2006

Great Quote from Family Guy

My Tivo recorded Sunday's new episode of Family Guy ("Barely Legal"). There was a unbelievable quote that I'm going to post here. I couldn't stop laughing the first time I heard it. Here's the setup:

Meg (the daughter/fugly social outcast) guilt trips Brian the family dog (who can speak) to be her date to the high school dance [suspend your disbelief please and just go with it]. Brian really doesn't want to be there so he's chugging from a flask the whole dance. They're sitting to the side having a coversation when Connie DiMeco (Miss Popular at the school) comes over...

Connie - You know, Meg, there's no dogs allowed here so you're gonna have to leave. But Brian can stay. (she and her friends laugh)
Brian - You know, Connie, I think I have a theory about why you're such a bitch.
Connie - Excuse me?
Meg - Brian, let's just go.
Brian - No, no, no, no, no! Hang on. Hang on, Meg. You see, Connie, you're popular because you developed early and started putting out when you were twelve. But now you can't stand to look at yourself in the mirror, because all you see is a whore. So you pick on Meg to avoid the inevitable realization that once your body's used up by age nineteen, you're going to be a worn out, chalky-skinned, burlap sack that even your step-dad won't want. How's that? Am I in the ballpark?

Now how funny is that? I had to pause it because I couldn't stop laughing. Have a good one.

Songs on the Playlist:
Guns N' Roses - Nightrain
Judas Priest - You've Got Another Thing Coming
Motley Crue - Dr. Feelgood
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Suck My Kiss

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