Weekend Recap

You know how you set all these illustrious plans and everything changes? Well that’s what this weekend was. How did that happen? Easy: WHITE DEATH 2006, PART DEUX came and changed all the plans. Here is the rundown:

I came home from the office early. I talked to one guy on the phone about running over to his place to check out the apt. I got off that and got a phone call from Tuesday returned. Caught me off guard. Literally. I answered the phone “wow”. I had just fixed two hot dogs to tide me over until dinner later.

Well I was on the phone with this lady for 2 hours. I’m never on the phone for 2 hours. I usually try to get my conversation/topic/objective/whatever done in like 15-20 minutes tops. If I want to have a long conversation with a woman, I’ll do it over a cocktail. Call me old-fashioned. Or maybe single. Whichever.

So I get off the phone and call the guy back to apologize (he called while I was on the phone with her). He’s already left for dinner and won’t be back until later. I told him that was cool because I had to head to Newby’s to meet a few friends for cocktails. So I change into another pair of jeans and a blue shirt. Grab my goose down vest (I love that thing) and go. (quick tangent: Goose down vests are great during the winter! You don’t need to keep your arms as warm as your torso. Plus if you start to get too hot, the heat can escape where the sleeves should be.)

I’m there 3 hours (nursing beer the whole time) when I get a phone call from my friend Mary. She and a few other folks are heading up to the Monkey for drinks. Her friend Patrick is moving to hot-lanta and this is a goodbye deal. Well I did something similar the night before so why not tag along? Here’s the situation: I’m at Newby’s with a bunch of 35 year old + guys who have a hall pass for the next hour or so before they have to come home. I’ve been with them for the last 3 hours. I have single people (mostly women too) at the Monkey. Hmm…what would your testosterone tell you to do? I say my goodbyes to the guys (the evening had started winding down anyway) and roll.

I get to the Monkey after 3 hours of drinking (but amazingly only 4 or 5 beers) and order a Guinness. When I decide to order a round of shots, everyone decides that the jager and goldschlagger are both bad ideas and even worse when combined. So we get a friggin’ round of buttery nipples because those are Nicole’s favorite. (Her name was Nicole right?) Next thing I know we are leaving and I get my tab for…$50! Apparently the shots were 6 a piece and I got 7. Then I had two Guinness at $4 each on top of that. Nice job ego! I’m not buying a round of shots for at least another month or two.

Side note: Patrick was really interested in catching Shirley Q Liquor until he found out he/she was performing at Backstreet Memphis. For those of you who aren’t in the “Midtown-Know” and aren’t versed enough to know where to avoid if you are of a certain persuasion or not, Backstreet is a gay bar. A drag bar. A sausage factory.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that” Jerry, George, Kramer, and Elaine exclaimed at the same moment.

After I quickly informed Patrick of this info, it was easier to convince them that not only would I not go there, they probably don’t need to go there either. So the debate raged about as to where to head next. The Mt Moriah Performing Arts Center was mentioned. But no one wanted to blow that much cash (ha, did you catch the 8th grade pun there?). So we decided to roll over to Yosemite Sam’s. After that part of the evening, I lose track and the events that I do remember don’t need to be posted as every party involved officially lost the control over their actions and shall henceforth forget all events and people involved. Ha. We had a blast.

The one thing I will mention is about some dude (not in our party) who obviously came from the backwoods of either Frayser or North Mississippi OR Rhodes College. During his duet with “his ol’ lady” he was going to do his best impersonation of Kevin Federline. That of course involved him trying to take his shirt off while his pants defied gravity and clung to the end of his boxers without falling down all the way. Unfortunately for us, he almost succeeded his delirious strip tease before his friends realized exactly what he was trying to do and they tried to stop him and the old lady bartenders ran onto the dance floor to stop him. Oh, you want a review of his performance? Ok, I’ll say that…I would rather watch Billy Bob’s strip tease from Varsity Blues than this knuckle dragging retard’s strip tease. Even in HD. I think I would ralph a whole lot less.

And we got to watch the streets ice over from inside that warm dive! Fun stuff.

So why am I just now posting this, you ask? Well great question. I started to use the internet Saturday when all of a sudden I was connected but couldn’t receive anything from Susie’s wireless modem downstairs. Sunday night at 11 it was still the same problem. How much does that suck, you ask? Well a lot. Imagine being stuck inside your place for over 48 hours without internet and reruns on TV, or worse the Olympics. If it hadn’t been for the Daytona 500 yesterday, I would have grabbed my laptop and run to one of those internet café’s with a bottle of water. (yea I don’t drink coffee)

BTW, I had a haircut at 10:30 on Saturday morning. I didn’t go to sleep until around 4:30/5 that morning. Ever have your haircut in the same clothes from the bar and a wicked hangover? I can now say I have. Getting my hair shampooed was awesome (Melanie always massages my scalp whenever she washes it, but usually the shampoo ladies do it). Getting my hair cut was horrible. Every cut was loud and my eyes were so bloodshot, they were as red as Melanie’s hair. Oh yea, it was bad. But my hair is now cut and not as shaggy as before. Hoorah. :P

Oh yea, I didn’t make it down to Beale. I’m not going to listen to Zydeco music in 9 degree weather! Sorry Beale, I guess Newby’s, the Monkey, and Yo Sam’s got all my cash money. Better luck next time.

Get back loving whoever you gotta love baby!

Songs on the Playlist:
Bob Dylan – Simple Twist of Fate
Black Crowes – She Talks to Angels
Steve Perry – Oh, Sherry
Aerosmith – Big Ten Inch Record
Led Zeppelin – Rock N Roll
The Rolling Stones – She’s a Rainbow
AC/DC – Dirty Deeds (Done Dirt Cheap)
Nitty Gritty Dirt Band – Fishin In The Dark
Cream – Strange Brew
Ugly Kid Joe – Everything About You
Dave Matthews Band - #41

1 comment:

Kat said...

'Bout damn time you showed up. You freak.

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