Ladies and Jellyspoons,
If you've been wondering what the hell is going on, allow me to tell you (yeah, I've been doing a little drinking). I am in the middle of leaving the wonderful abode in High Point Terrace and moving to Germantown. "Germantown?" you ask. Yeah, G'town. I have moved into my old room...from high school. This is a temporary setback until I get back on my feet. I am unemployed. We just lost the business. So this is one of those wonderful situations where family relies on family. Granted, it's going to drive me crazy, but I am going to help my family while they help me. I guess my cab fares home will be a little more than they have been. :)
Anywho, I'm here at Cigar Night and I was chastised for not telling what the hell's been going on. I've moved most of my stuff to the 'rents' house. I'll stay there from now on. Thanks to all of you who have offered a couch (or a bed) for me to crash on after nights of partying. For those of you still looking for the resume email, I'm almost done with the second draft. I have several friends who are in hiring positions at their respective jobs. They are reviewing the resume so it doesn't look like a crappy second rate job.
I'm going to head back and return to my cigar and glass of wine. Enjoy yourselves and remember that no matter how fucked up your life may become, you always have family to fall back on (whether your "family" is the biological one or the group of friends you have acquired).
Have a good one and don't get none on ya!
10/12/2006
10/09/2006
Thursday's Birthday Party
So my dear friends Shady Hasbeen and Shady Lady V wanted to throw me a bday party last week. Well I was a little preoccupied with helping close the company and losing my job so I kinda blew it off at the beginning of the week. Wednesday (my actual birthday) rolled around and they kept asking if and when they could do something. Well, I was busy Wednesday and Friday nights. I knew I was going to be recuperating Saturday. So it was either Thursday evening or sometime the next week. I called Shady Hasbeen Wednesday after leaving the office to say we could do it Thursday. I told her I didn't have too many restrictions or requests. Here's what I wanted:
drinks and friends at Newby's
That's pretty simple right? She, Shady Lady V, and HM were going to do all the leg work (i.e. make sure I got there and got home alive). Thursday morning (nothing like procrastination) I sent her a quick email with a list of folks to invite. Of course I forgot folks and slowly realized it throughout the day. I kept sending text messages throughout the day. You want to know what degree of senility I had? I forgot to invite my own damn brother! Yeah I know that was pretty bad. I called him but he was already at the Flying Saucer with a few friends.
Anywho, back to our chronological time line, I got home from work around 5ish. Shady Lady V gives me a call. She and Duchess Lana were driving around trying to find the Drama Queen of the moment. I'm not going into all the details. Let's just say that MY birthday plans were changing dramatically because of SOMEONE ELSE'S drama. Needless to say I was told people were dropping out or we were headed to Gill's. Greeeeaaaaattt.
I was supposed to be picked up within the next few hours. Of course I still wasn't sure about the exact plans. I just decided to be ready for fun and not let anyone else's drama ruin my fun. I threw on a pair of jeans and a polo shirt. Grabbed my drinking boots (which coincidentally are my work boots) and got the camera. I heard a horn honk and I went outside. There sit Shady Lady V and the Shady Hasbeen. Hmm...I was told HM was going to pick me up. But this is a nice surprise. We roll back to Shady Lady V's apartment to get her bday present for me. It is a signed picture from Sarah Jane Morris. I knew her as Sarah Morris when she drove me to high school. She was a senior at Hutchison when I was a freshman at MUS. Now she is a rising actress in Hollywood. I know she's in "Brothers and Sisters." But...I still haven't watched it. I did record the show on the DVR. I'll watch it eventually.
We start heading to the bar when I turn to the backseat to say something to the S.H. I notice balloons in the back of the Trooper. WTF! I just knew this couldn't be good. We parked by CK's coffee shop and I started to walk. I realized they weren't with me and as I looked back, I noticed they were unloaded stuff. When I say stuff, I mean lots of stuff. I just shook my head and decided to see what would happen.
We took a corner bar off to the left. I waltzed over to the bar to see my favorite lady bartender Shawna. Some of you know her as Miss MySpace 2006. After that hug, I headed back to the table. I had my Guinness and watched IN HORROR as evil incarnate blossomed forth from the hands of Shady Lady V and the Shady Hasbeen. Kidding. They put up balloons, cracked open glowing necklaces, and put curly candles on my bday cake. I've never seen curly candles before. I was kinda impressed they found them.
Then the folks started rolling in. I don't remember the order of arrivals, but here's the list of attendees:
Gordo
Shady Lady V
the Shady Hasbeen
Scottie Too Hottie
HM
Miniher (also known as Mendi)
Jana and Andy
SR
Queen Katie B
I went through my pics and i don't think I missed anyone. Speaking of pics, I'll spend the rest of the post with the pics. I'll explain stories that go with them.
Here we have the Shady Lady V and the Shady Hasbeen with the set up. You can see the cake, balloons (see the string at least), and the necklace things. The Shady Hasbeen is also showing a little shoulder.
Scottie Too Hottie and Gordo think I can be the next Derek Zoolander. They made me do this face. I call it "Blue Steel".
I was apparently not the only person who was showing things Thursday night. The Shady Hasbeen was showing HM how she is a vampire. I think she may be trying to suck the life out of him here. Unfortunately she doesn't realize that a man has to be married before he can have his life sucked out of him.
Here is a great shot of the cake...surrounded by beer and cigarettes.
Here's a shot of yours truly blowing out the curly candles. Has anyone else ever seen those?
Here is HM and the Shady Hasbeen. And she says she doesn't have any cleavage.
We of course had to keep up with our tradition of the hold-me-kiss-me pic. For some reason we couldn't get it down just right. Either one or both of us were laughing the whole time.
Or someone was losing control of her lose-rise jeans. Mmm...tasty.
We finally got it right. It's kinda fun to keep trying something over and over.
Both of my Shady lady friends show us what they like to do on Friday and Saturday nights.
The Shady Lady V let me drink my Guinness without using my hands. Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me!
Here we have the Shady Lady V, the Shady Hasbeen, and ex-Duchess Jana.
Miniher (aka Mendi) insisted on buying me a few rounds of Patron shots. Thanks babe.
We also had Katie B there. I think she may be dressed to close. What do you think?
Of course there was some sort of creature in the background distracting the cameraman.
drinks and friends at Newby's
That's pretty simple right? She, Shady Lady V, and HM were going to do all the leg work (i.e. make sure I got there and got home alive). Thursday morning (nothing like procrastination) I sent her a quick email with a list of folks to invite. Of course I forgot folks and slowly realized it throughout the day. I kept sending text messages throughout the day. You want to know what degree of senility I had? I forgot to invite my own damn brother! Yeah I know that was pretty bad. I called him but he was already at the Flying Saucer with a few friends.
Anywho, back to our chronological time line, I got home from work around 5ish. Shady Lady V gives me a call. She and Duchess Lana were driving around trying to find the Drama Queen of the moment. I'm not going into all the details. Let's just say that MY birthday plans were changing dramatically because of SOMEONE ELSE'S drama. Needless to say I was told people were dropping out or we were headed to Gill's. Greeeeaaaaattt.
I was supposed to be picked up within the next few hours. Of course I still wasn't sure about the exact plans. I just decided to be ready for fun and not let anyone else's drama ruin my fun. I threw on a pair of jeans and a polo shirt. Grabbed my drinking boots (which coincidentally are my work boots) and got the camera. I heard a horn honk and I went outside. There sit Shady Lady V and the Shady Hasbeen. Hmm...I was told HM was going to pick me up. But this is a nice surprise. We roll back to Shady Lady V's apartment to get her bday present for me. It is a signed picture from Sarah Jane Morris. I knew her as Sarah Morris when she drove me to high school. She was a senior at Hutchison when I was a freshman at MUS. Now she is a rising actress in Hollywood. I know she's in "Brothers and Sisters." But...I still haven't watched it. I did record the show on the DVR. I'll watch it eventually.
We start heading to the bar when I turn to the backseat to say something to the S.H. I notice balloons in the back of the Trooper. WTF! I just knew this couldn't be good. We parked by CK's coffee shop and I started to walk. I realized they weren't with me and as I looked back, I noticed they were unloaded stuff. When I say stuff, I mean lots of stuff. I just shook my head and decided to see what would happen.
We took a corner bar off to the left. I waltzed over to the bar to see my favorite lady bartender Shawna. Some of you know her as Miss MySpace 2006. After that hug, I headed back to the table. I had my Guinness and watched IN HORROR as evil incarnate blossomed forth from the hands of Shady Lady V and the Shady Hasbeen. Kidding. They put up balloons, cracked open glowing necklaces, and put curly candles on my bday cake. I've never seen curly candles before. I was kinda impressed they found them.
Then the folks started rolling in. I don't remember the order of arrivals, but here's the list of attendees:
Gordo
Shady Lady V
the Shady Hasbeen
Scottie Too Hottie
HM
Miniher (also known as Mendi)
Jana and Andy
SR
Queen Katie B
I went through my pics and i don't think I missed anyone. Speaking of pics, I'll spend the rest of the post with the pics. I'll explain stories that go with them.
Here we have the Shady Lady V and the Shady Hasbeen with the set up. You can see the cake, balloons (see the string at least), and the necklace things. The Shady Hasbeen is also showing a little shoulder.
Scottie Too Hottie and Gordo think I can be the next Derek Zoolander. They made me do this face. I call it "Blue Steel".I was apparently not the only person who was showing things Thursday night. The Shady Hasbeen was showing HM how she is a vampire. I think she may be trying to suck the life out of him here. Unfortunately she doesn't realize that a man has to be married before he can have his life sucked out of him.Here is a great shot of the cake...surrounded by beer and cigarettes.Here's a shot of yours truly blowing out the curly candles. Has anyone else ever seen those?Here is HM and the Shady Hasbeen. And she says she doesn't have any cleavage.We of course had to keep up with our tradition of the hold-me-kiss-me pic. For some reason we couldn't get it down just right. Either one or both of us were laughing the whole time.Or someone was losing control of her lose-rise jeans. Mmm...tasty.We finally got it right. It's kinda fun to keep trying something over and over.Both of my Shady lady friends show us what they like to do on Friday and Saturday nights.The Shady Lady V let me drink my Guinness without using my hands. Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me!Here we have the Shady Lady V, the Shady Hasbeen, and ex-Duchess Jana.Miniher (aka Mendi) insisted on buying me a few rounds of Patron shots. Thanks babe.We also had Katie B there. I think she may be dressed to close. What do you think?Of course there was some sort of creature in the background distracting the cameraman.Well thanks to everyone who made it. Sorry to those who were accidentally left off the guest list. It won't happen next time. This was just a last minute party.
I'll get to the Friday night post in the near future.
Have a good one and don't get none on ya.
10/08/2006
Ole Miss vs UGA gameday
I know I'm posting this over a week later, but it's no big deal. When I last finished the first installment of the story, Jules, Spilly, and I were dealing with hangovers. We took I-55 south to Batesville. On the way down we passed this exit sign.
Jules and Spilly drunk on the Square in Oxford.
Spilly and Kyle...drunk on the Square.
Skooch, Jules, and Spilly outside Betty Davis Grocery on the way back to Memphis Sunday morning. The Betty Davis Grocery is an Ole Miss landmark. It is the one of the two closest places to get cold beer. It is located just past the Tallahatchie River between Oxford and Holly Springs. They also serve BBQ there. I never had it though.
That's all I've got from that weekend. I'll try to get to my recap of my bday party and the Cowboy Mouth show Friday night later.
Have a good one and don't get none on ya.
Songs on the Playlist:
The Grateful Dead - Bertha
The Grateful Dead - Me and My Uncle
The Grateful Dead - Next Time You See Me
The Grateful Dead - China Cat Sunflower
The Grateful Dead - I Know You Rider
The Grateful Dead - Jack Straw
The Grateful Dead - Big Railroad Blues
The Grateful Dead - Playing in the Band
The Grateful Dead - Turn On Your Lovelight
Spilly went nuts because there was a local band in college who called themselves Coldwater Independence. They mostly did covers and didn't survive more than a year. But damn they were fun to go listen to. He made me promise to post this pic. So here ya go Spilly.
As we started getting close to Oxford, Spilly and Jules went nuts. They hadn't been back in 3 years. Jules apparently became Elaine Bennis from Seinfeld: everytime she saw something new she hit us both on the shoulder and say "Get out! What is that!?!"
I dropped them off at another old friend Marion's house. Marion stayed in Oxford after graduation and has worked around town. She even lives in the old house that she had when I graduated...4 years ago. It even smelled the same. If you knew my friends in college, you would know what that means. I walked in hugged her neck and met her boyfriend. I then excused myself and stood outside the front door. Afterall, I am in the job market and have to take a wiz-test when I get a new job. Don't want to fail because of second hand contact.
I left them there and headed to the family tent. I hung out there and then my hangover officially kicked in. Despite however much tequila or beer I drank, it never went away. I just had to fight it by eating and waiting. Mac had picked out several types of Salvador's premixed margaritas. Here's a pic of him and Dad with two kinds. They didn't realize it initially when they poured the drinks but they had Ole Miss themed drinks. They had me take this pic.
Throughout the day, a long line of old friends came to the tent. Evil Howard came by on his own. We talked a while. He's up in Maryland working as a manager for some company that goes around testing the air for harmful chemical (i.e. anthrax). I actually started to tell a story of Evil Howard here, but I'll save that for another time.
Spilly and Jules walked up eventually with Marion and two other friends from college: Mark from St Louis and Kyle. Mark updated me on the latest funny story about Mikey (see July trip to New Jersey wedding). Of course I won't recap that here. I wasn't involved.
After a while they wanted to see more folks so we all went to the Grove. We passed a tent with two other fraternity brothers in it: Stotts and Rusty. We talked to them for a few minutes before continuing on. We wandered around and ran into a few other folks. I got a phone call from Dad who said there was someone at the tent to see me. It was my old roommate from college Lt. Troy and his lovely wife Lauren. Theirs was the first wedding I was ever in. I hugged them both and as I sat down to talk to them, Lauren says "we're pregnant!" Literally, my butt wasn't even in the chair when she said it. As the words entered my ear three things happened:
1. I fell the rest of the way into my seat
2. I thought and said "How great for yall. That's awesome!"
3. I thought and said "Oh my God, Troy's going to be a father!!!"
That last one got a laugh from all of us. We sat and talked for a while. Then I got a call from my current roommate, Symon. He was trying to find us. I gave him directions and he eventually made it over. He met my family and ate...a lot. He's originally from Dallas, so he loved the Mexifest themed food. He loved Mom's King Ranch Chicken. He went nuts over it. Then he had some of Yankee's Tea (backstory: we have a friend from Illinois who is still in school in Oxford. He makes a special tea with Maker's Mark). He told me to pour out his beer and fix him a whole tea.
After a while Symon went back to the Grove, and Troy and Lauren went to their tent. I stayed at our tent for a few to grab a bite to eat. After a few more cups of Yankee's Tea, I decided to go find where Symon's tent was and also stop by a few others. The problem was the team was about to walk through the Walk of Champions. So most folks were along the walk and no one could get cell coverage. I stayed to watch the walk and then decided to head back to the tent. Here are two pics from the walk. The first is Coach O (Head Coach Ed Orgeron). The second is All-American Linebacker Patrick Willis.
After I got back I took a few pics from my chair. At that point I had fought off my hangover and was a happy man. Here is a shot of the tent. Yankee is the young man on the left. And yes, those are my feet.
Here I am with my brother and sister. Yes, I am wearing my "Pi Phi Loves Our Rebs!" sticker.
Here are a pic from the game. I took videos of some things. I wish I could figure out how to upload them on here. I put them on photobucket. Anyone know how to upload videos into a blog post? Anywho, this is before kickoff.
Here are a few pics Jules took:
Jules with Marion both very hungover.
Jules and Spilly drunk on the Square in Oxford.Spilly and Kyle...drunk on the Square.Skooch, Jules, and Spilly outside Betty Davis Grocery on the way back to Memphis Sunday morning. The Betty Davis Grocery is an Ole Miss landmark. It is the one of the two closest places to get cold beer. It is located just past the Tallahatchie River between Oxford and Holly Springs. They also serve BBQ there. I never had it though.That's all I've got from that weekend. I'll try to get to my recap of my bday party and the Cowboy Mouth show Friday night later.
Have a good one and don't get none on ya.
Songs on the Playlist:
The Grateful Dead - Bertha
The Grateful Dead - Me and My Uncle
The Grateful Dead - Next Time You See Me
The Grateful Dead - China Cat Sunflower
The Grateful Dead - I Know You Rider
The Grateful Dead - Jack Straw
The Grateful Dead - Big Railroad Blues
The Grateful Dead - Playing in the Band
The Grateful Dead - Turn On Your Lovelight
10/05/2006
Birthday Plans
Last night: celebrated with the fam-damily. Great time had by all.
Tonight: Shady Hasbeen and Shady Lady V are taking me to Newbys. They are supposed to be rounding up folks to stop by too. Anyone is welcome to stop by. I'm supposedly going to be there around 8:30ish
Tomorrow: Cowboy Mouth/Hootie/Soul Asylum show. HM won tickets and dinner with Cowboy Mouth. He's taking me with him and a few other folks for my bday present.
Saturday: Probably sit on the couch and watch football. After this week, I don't feel like going out or heading to Oxford. Sorry.
Tonight: Shady Hasbeen and Shady Lady V are taking me to Newbys. They are supposed to be rounding up folks to stop by too. Anyone is welcome to stop by. I'm supposedly going to be there around 8:30ish
Tomorrow: Cowboy Mouth/Hootie/Soul Asylum show. HM won tickets and dinner with Cowboy Mouth. He's taking me with him and a few other folks for my bday present.
Saturday: Probably sit on the couch and watch football. After this week, I don't feel like going out or heading to Oxford. Sorry.
HNT Half Nekkid Thursday
Ok, if you are looking for the story from Friday night, check it out on the next post. There are details to go with this pic.
Happy HNT yall
Happy HNT yall
10/04/2006
Spilly & Jules & Lotsa Jagerbombs
Wow, this was a rough weekend. It became official that I was losing my job on Friday morning (actually everyone lost their job because the company is closing). So I spent the rest of the day closing things down and what not. Around 2PM I headed to the Memphis International Airport near beautiful, crime free Airways Blvd. I picked up Spilly and dropped him off at my house. Spilly is an old fraternity brother from San Antonio, TX. Obviously it’s not hard to figure out how he got his nickname.
By the way, I would hate to forget this: on the way back to my house we saw a crack whore on Prescott and a pimp on Highland. Spilly couldn’t believe that he’d been back in Memphis less than 30 minutes and had already seen both. I told him that it was a little weird to see both, but it was still pretty funny.
I had to head back to the office to finish a few things so I showed him how to work the TV and where the beer fridge was. After work was over, I raced home. We both changed for dinner and headed to the Butcher Shop to meet Jules and two of her friends. Jules was also at Ole Miss with us. She and Spilly were the best of friends back in college but haven’t seen each other since graduation. He went back to Texas, and she went back to Florida. Jules brought her friend Skooch and his girlfriend. Skooch used to work at Rebel Radio with her. We had a nice dinner. My steak was a little too bloody, but still pretty damn good. They say Medium Rare when I would say Rare.
After dinner Skooch and his girlfriend had to jet home. Jules road with us back to my house. We called a cab and picked up HM. Check out this pic of the cab:
Yeah he has plastic hubcaps that look like rims. They are a lot shinier in real life than they turned out in the pic. Only in Memphis right? Well, maybe Atlanta too.
The four of us headed to Pat O’Briens on Beale St. As soon as we got there things went downhill: we had a round of Jagerbombs. For those of you who are uninitiated into…well the world we live in, a Jagerbomb is a combination of Jagermeister and Red Bull. It is supposed to be done as a glass of Red Bull with a shot of Jagermeister dropped in it. Some places are too cheap and just pour a shot of Jagermeister into a cup of Red Bull. What happens when you take one of these? Well that’s an easy answer: it leads to you taking another…and another…and another…and so on.
After a round of Jagerbombs, we headed out to the patio bar. We grabbed a table near the bar. We took the opportunity to take a few pics.
Here I am with Spilly.
Here's Spilly and Jules.
Here's where they are acting more like themselves.
We met some Georgia fans who were waiting for drinks next to us. They told us they’d never been to Ole Miss before and we told them they could come back anytime. So they bought us a round of Jagerbombs. Jules was so proud of her retro-80s belt that she had to show them. One of the guys took her over to show the guys at their table, which turned out to be right next to ours.
Spilly got a call from Boeckman, another fraternity brother. He, Nolan, and Megan were on their way to meet us up there. Here’s a pic with Boeckman, Spilly, and me:
After a while we were all tired of the scene at Pat O’s. We decided to start heading east. We were walking to get a cab when Nolan said we could all fit in his Colorado. So we made the hike from Beale to Peabody Place parking garage. We didn’t take the stairs by the Flying Saucer; we took walked up the vehicle entrance and went to the stairs. We were having a regular discussion on the way up. Maybe our voices were a little magnified by the mixture of concrete around us and alcohol inside us, but all of a sudden this glorified rent-a-cop walks out of the office in the corner opposite the stairs entrance. She points at Jules and says “Ma’am, you are going to have to be quiet in here. You are way too loud.” I thought ‘lady, you have no idea what you just did.’
Jules turns to her and says “excuse me? Are you really trying to be a bitch? Because you are succeeding…” or something like that. I don’t remember all that was said because I was laughing so damn hard. I do know that Jules told her she needed to try to arrest her. The rent-a-cop just stood their stunned as we walked to the stairwell. No one really knew exactly what the hell we did wrong. I still don’t.
We quickly walked up the stairs and jumped in Nolan’s Chevy Colorado. If you’ve never been in one, it’s quite comfortable and roomy. Well, it is until you put seven drunks in there. We took off and all Jules would say over and over was she wanted to go dancing. Now this was between 11 and 12. Nolan takes off for Raiford’s. I immediately started explaining that it was too early for Raiford’s by about two hours. We pulled up and there were no cars outside. None. Zero. Zip. I convinced Jules that we could go to the Blue Monkey. They always have a great band on the weekends, and you can usually dance there. Boy, was I wrong. There were maybe 30 people in there. Of that 30, 10 were working there and 7 were our group. Yeah, dead does not describe it. So we had a few rounds of Jagerbombs and I had a few pints of Guinness. Then the camera came back out.
After a few minutes, Jules realized that there wasn’t a band and she couldn’t dance to the music. So we left and went to Newby’s. As we walked in the Friday night band stopped for a set break. So we kept drinking and partying. It’s at this point in the evening that things begin to get hazy. I did get a few pics at Newby’s though.
Here's Jules showing Spilly a little affection.
Here's Jules showing me my early birthday presents.
The last thing I remember was calling for a ride home about 2:30. Spilly, Nolan, and Boeckman had headed to Platinum. Jules and HM were hanging out with some other folks we knew. I remember being picked up by my ride outside Newby’s and that’s it. But I definitely remember the next morning. I woke up drunk around 8:30. I stumbled out of my room to find Spilly passed out on the couch. It turns out that he had been driven to my house by Nolan after their escapades at Platinum. Spilly had no idea how to even find my house or what area of town I lived in. But he did know how to get there from Newby’s somehow. Apparently I had left the front door unlocked for him.
About the time we were trying to remember anything from the night before, the roommate came out of his room. I introduced them and they started talking about both Texas and golf. The roommate’s friend stumbled out of the guest bedroom and dropped this bomb on us:
dude – “Symon, I thought you didn’t have any pets?”
Symon – “I don’t.”
dude – “Well a cat shit in my mouth last night.”
That was not the best line of the morning. I heard many more. I’m going to give them to you out of context to protect the identities of those involved (in a few cases):
Guy to girl: “Where did you come from?”
Girl to guy: “You are a lucky guy. Do you know that? You were sex by convenience.”
Guy to girl and guy: “Is this your gum?”
Me: “Best detox is retox! Where’s the beer? Who’s drinking?” In my own defense, I woke up a little drunk and was starting to slide into a wicked hangover. A beer helps. Just one. And only if you can still drink it.
Girl to Spilly as she shakes her chest in his face: “Hey Spilly, what does this remind you of? Last night?”
Spilly: “Let me hop on the net to check my bank account. Oh my God! I spent $400 last night! At one place!”
Jules: “Hey Spilly, what does the number 400 mean to you?”
The roommate and his buddy fell in love with Jules after she started making fun of Spilly. In the mean time, Spilly took a shower and got dressed for the Ole Miss v. Georgia game that evening in Oxford. After he was done, I got a quick shower and dressed. We loaded up my truck and started to the trip south.
I’ll end that portion of the story with a quick tale about the way down. Between the three of us we had various ways to deal with our impending hangovers.
I decided to drink a little Gatorade on the drive down. I had to drive so I needed to rehydrate myself. I had already had a beer to make myself feel better first thing in the morning so I needed the Gatorade now.
Jules took a nap in the back seat. Spilly was kind enough to take a pic of that. He also asked if I had an annoying song on the ipod that we could blast to make her feel worse. I said I had the worst song possible: Herman’s Hermits “Henry the VIIIth.” We got in the truck after getting gas and beer. Spilly cranked up the volume while I played the song. Jules wasn’t happy. Here’s a pic of her trying to nap in the backseat.
Spilly had the best immediate cure: he drank a six pack on the way to Oxford. He wasn’t even halfway into his second beer when he lived up to his nickname. I took this pic for those of you who knew him in college.
That’s all for now. I’ll talk about the gameday stuff later.
Have a good one and don’t get none on ya.
Songs on the Playlist:
Jimmy Buffett – Boat Drinks
Hall & Oates – Maneater
The Allman Brothers Band – Ramblin’ Man
Velvet Revolver – Illegal I Song
The Pretenders – Stop Your Sobbing
Jimmy Buffett – The Night I Painted the Sky
Mott the Hoople – All The Young Dudes
T Rex – Bang A Gong
Janis Joplin – Me and Bobby McGee
The Allman Brothers Band – Revival
Stevie Ray Vaughn – Cold Shot
The Who – Heaven and Hell (live)
Jimmy Buffett – Lady I Can’t Explain
Archie Bell & The Drells – Tighten Up
Foreigner – I Want To Know What Love Is
Dwight Yoakam – Fast As You
By the way, I would hate to forget this: on the way back to my house we saw a crack whore on Prescott and a pimp on Highland. Spilly couldn’t believe that he’d been back in Memphis less than 30 minutes and had already seen both. I told him that it was a little weird to see both, but it was still pretty funny.
I had to head back to the office to finish a few things so I showed him how to work the TV and where the beer fridge was. After work was over, I raced home. We both changed for dinner and headed to the Butcher Shop to meet Jules and two of her friends. Jules was also at Ole Miss with us. She and Spilly were the best of friends back in college but haven’t seen each other since graduation. He went back to Texas, and she went back to Florida. Jules brought her friend Skooch and his girlfriend. Skooch used to work at Rebel Radio with her. We had a nice dinner. My steak was a little too bloody, but still pretty damn good. They say Medium Rare when I would say Rare.
After dinner Skooch and his girlfriend had to jet home. Jules road with us back to my house. We called a cab and picked up HM. Check out this pic of the cab:
Yeah he has plastic hubcaps that look like rims. They are a lot shinier in real life than they turned out in the pic. Only in Memphis right? Well, maybe Atlanta too.The four of us headed to Pat O’Briens on Beale St. As soon as we got there things went downhill: we had a round of Jagerbombs. For those of you who are uninitiated into…well the world we live in, a Jagerbomb is a combination of Jagermeister and Red Bull. It is supposed to be done as a glass of Red Bull with a shot of Jagermeister dropped in it. Some places are too cheap and just pour a shot of Jagermeister into a cup of Red Bull. What happens when you take one of these? Well that’s an easy answer: it leads to you taking another…and another…and another…and so on.
After a round of Jagerbombs, we headed out to the patio bar. We grabbed a table near the bar. We took the opportunity to take a few pics.
Here I am with Spilly.
Here's Spilly and Jules.Here's where they are acting more like themselves.We met some Georgia fans who were waiting for drinks next to us. They told us they’d never been to Ole Miss before and we told them they could come back anytime. So they bought us a round of Jagerbombs. Jules was so proud of her retro-80s belt that she had to show them. One of the guys took her over to show the guys at their table, which turned out to be right next to ours.Spilly got a call from Boeckman, another fraternity brother. He, Nolan, and Megan were on their way to meet us up there. Here’s a pic with Boeckman, Spilly, and me:
After a while we were all tired of the scene at Pat O’s. We decided to start heading east. We were walking to get a cab when Nolan said we could all fit in his Colorado. So we made the hike from Beale to Peabody Place parking garage. We didn’t take the stairs by the Flying Saucer; we took walked up the vehicle entrance and went to the stairs. We were having a regular discussion on the way up. Maybe our voices were a little magnified by the mixture of concrete around us and alcohol inside us, but all of a sudden this glorified rent-a-cop walks out of the office in the corner opposite the stairs entrance. She points at Jules and says “Ma’am, you are going to have to be quiet in here. You are way too loud.” I thought ‘lady, you have no idea what you just did.’
Jules turns to her and says “excuse me? Are you really trying to be a bitch? Because you are succeeding…” or something like that. I don’t remember all that was said because I was laughing so damn hard. I do know that Jules told her she needed to try to arrest her. The rent-a-cop just stood their stunned as we walked to the stairwell. No one really knew exactly what the hell we did wrong. I still don’t.
We quickly walked up the stairs and jumped in Nolan’s Chevy Colorado. If you’ve never been in one, it’s quite comfortable and roomy. Well, it is until you put seven drunks in there. We took off and all Jules would say over and over was she wanted to go dancing. Now this was between 11 and 12. Nolan takes off for Raiford’s. I immediately started explaining that it was too early for Raiford’s by about two hours. We pulled up and there were no cars outside. None. Zero. Zip. I convinced Jules that we could go to the Blue Monkey. They always have a great band on the weekends, and you can usually dance there. Boy, was I wrong. There were maybe 30 people in there. Of that 30, 10 were working there and 7 were our group. Yeah, dead does not describe it. So we had a few rounds of Jagerbombs and I had a few pints of Guinness. Then the camera came back out.
After a few minutes, Jules realized that there wasn’t a band and she couldn’t dance to the music. So we left and went to Newby’s. As we walked in the Friday night band stopped for a set break. So we kept drinking and partying. It’s at this point in the evening that things begin to get hazy. I did get a few pics at Newby’s though.
Here's Jules showing Spilly a little affection.
Here's Jules showing me my early birthday presents.The last thing I remember was calling for a ride home about 2:30. Spilly, Nolan, and Boeckman had headed to Platinum. Jules and HM were hanging out with some other folks we knew. I remember being picked up by my ride outside Newby’s and that’s it. But I definitely remember the next morning. I woke up drunk around 8:30. I stumbled out of my room to find Spilly passed out on the couch. It turns out that he had been driven to my house by Nolan after their escapades at Platinum. Spilly had no idea how to even find my house or what area of town I lived in. But he did know how to get there from Newby’s somehow. Apparently I had left the front door unlocked for him.About the time we were trying to remember anything from the night before, the roommate came out of his room. I introduced them and they started talking about both Texas and golf. The roommate’s friend stumbled out of the guest bedroom and dropped this bomb on us:
dude – “Symon, I thought you didn’t have any pets?”
Symon – “I don’t.”
dude – “Well a cat shit in my mouth last night.”
That was not the best line of the morning. I heard many more. I’m going to give them to you out of context to protect the identities of those involved (in a few cases):
Guy to girl: “Where did you come from?”
Girl to guy: “You are a lucky guy. Do you know that? You were sex by convenience.”
Guy to girl and guy: “Is this your gum?”
Me: “Best detox is retox! Where’s the beer? Who’s drinking?” In my own defense, I woke up a little drunk and was starting to slide into a wicked hangover. A beer helps. Just one. And only if you can still drink it.
Girl to Spilly as she shakes her chest in his face: “Hey Spilly, what does this remind you of? Last night?”
Spilly: “Let me hop on the net to check my bank account. Oh my God! I spent $400 last night! At one place!”
Jules: “Hey Spilly, what does the number 400 mean to you?”
The roommate and his buddy fell in love with Jules after she started making fun of Spilly. In the mean time, Spilly took a shower and got dressed for the Ole Miss v. Georgia game that evening in Oxford. After he was done, I got a quick shower and dressed. We loaded up my truck and started to the trip south.
I’ll end that portion of the story with a quick tale about the way down. Between the three of us we had various ways to deal with our impending hangovers.
I decided to drink a little Gatorade on the drive down. I had to drive so I needed to rehydrate myself. I had already had a beer to make myself feel better first thing in the morning so I needed the Gatorade now.
Jules took a nap in the back seat. Spilly was kind enough to take a pic of that. He also asked if I had an annoying song on the ipod that we could blast to make her feel worse. I said I had the worst song possible: Herman’s Hermits “Henry the VIIIth.” We got in the truck after getting gas and beer. Spilly cranked up the volume while I played the song. Jules wasn’t happy. Here’s a pic of her trying to nap in the backseat.
Spilly had the best immediate cure: he drank a six pack on the way to Oxford. He wasn’t even halfway into his second beer when he lived up to his nickname. I took this pic for those of you who knew him in college.That’s all for now. I’ll talk about the gameday stuff later.Have a good one and don’t get none on ya.
Songs on the Playlist:
Jimmy Buffett – Boat Drinks
Hall & Oates – Maneater
The Allman Brothers Band – Ramblin’ Man
Velvet Revolver – Illegal I Song
The Pretenders – Stop Your Sobbing
Jimmy Buffett – The Night I Painted the Sky
Mott the Hoople – All The Young Dudes
T Rex – Bang A Gong
Janis Joplin – Me and Bobby McGee
The Allman Brothers Band – Revival
Stevie Ray Vaughn – Cold Shot
The Who – Heaven and Hell (live)
Jimmy Buffett – Lady I Can’t Explain
Archie Bell & The Drells – Tighten Up
Foreigner – I Want To Know What Love Is
Dwight Yoakam – Fast As You
10/01/2006
Great Ole Miss Game
That was one hell of a game last night. It was close. We lost in the last few minutes when Schaeffer threw an interception, but damn it was a great game. I'll write the whole recap for the weekend later when I get home.
By the way I'm looking for a new career opportunity if anyone knows of a cool job in the Memphis area. Email me at memphisphilip@hotmail.com
Have a good one and don't get none on ya.
By the way I'm looking for a new career opportunity if anyone knows of a cool job in the Memphis area. Email me at memphisphilip@hotmail.com
Have a good one and don't get none on ya.
9/28/2006
Birthday HNT
Next Wednesday is my friggin 27th birthday. But I plan on celebrating it (mainly) this weekend at the Ole Miss loss to Georgia. Yeah, I'm a Rebel fan, but I'm a realistic Rebel fan. This game is going to be such a blowout they didn't even put it on my football pool this week.
So what are we doing to celebrate? Well the theme is Mexifest. And how awesome is that going to be? I'm definitely going to need some partying in my system. I've been a little serious and concentrated lately. A regular working stiff.
So what is the best way to celebrate my birthday? That's today's HNT. It was taken last year at a game. There may be a French term to describe it, but I'm not sure.
So what are we doing to celebrate? Well the theme is Mexifest. And how awesome is that going to be? I'm definitely going to need some partying in my system. I've been a little serious and concentrated lately. A regular working stiff.
So what is the best way to celebrate my birthday? That's today's HNT. It was taken last year at a game. There may be a French term to describe it, but I'm not sure.
Needless to say I was one happy camper.
Well, Hotty Toddy ladies and gentlemen! In case I don't post anything tomorrow, have a great weekend and don't get none on ya.
If you're playing HNT, let Obasso know. And tell your bookie you want to take Georgia and the points!!!
9/26/2006
Letter to Terri
There was an email that I received several months ago. I had actually forgotten about it until I was deleting old earlier. I have to share this with you. Enjoy:
Sometimes it becomes difficult to just "let go" of old relationships. As an example, read on about the following guy, who writes to his ex-wife of more than fifteen years. It will bring tears to your eyes. Really.
Dear Terri:
I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I didn't want to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride has cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore.
I don't care who makes the first move, as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says..."There's no one like you, Terri."
I look for you in the eyes of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at the Rainbow Room and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation.
She was young, Terri, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Breasts you wouldn't believe and a back porch like a tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right?
But as I sat on the couch looking at the top of her head, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, even if it does, you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Terri? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought like that before. I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little.
Later, after she'd left, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her shameless hunger, but something else. Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete?And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there, Terri, to watch. Do you know that I mean? Nothing feels the same without you, baby.
Jesus, Terri, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you. Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at church? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story. Anyway, we have a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're in our old bedroom. And she was giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she's not hung up about God and her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden she spotted that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she put it on the floor and we straddled it, you know, so we could watch ourselves. And it was totally hot, but it made me sad, too. Because I couldn't help thinking, "Why didn't Terri ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for about 14 years, and we never used it as a sex aid."
You know what I mean? What happened to our spontaneity? You get so caught up in the routine of a marriage and you just lose sight of each other. And then you lose yourself. That's the saddest part of all for me.
But I keep thinking we can get it back. I know we can, because I only want to do this stuff with you. Saturday, your sister dropped by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Shannon's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders. She's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in general. (She's pulling for us to get back together, Terri. She really is.)
So we were drinking in the hot tub and talking about happier times. Here was this attractive girl with the same DNA as you (although, let's be honest, she got an extra helping of the "sexy" gene), and all I could think of how much she looks like you did when you were 27. And that just about made me cry. And then it turned out Shannon's really into the whole anal thing, and that started me thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm discovering this whole new side of your sister, all I can do is think of you? It's true, baby. In your heart you know it.
Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances and start fresh? I think we can. I keep thinking that if you'd just try it, I wouldn't have to pressure you so much. Because who needs all that bitterness, Terri? It just tears us apart. And I can't be apart from you.
Because I love you.
Sometimes it becomes difficult to just "let go" of old relationships. As an example, read on about the following guy, who writes to his ex-wife of more than fifteen years. It will bring tears to your eyes. Really.
Dear Terri:
I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I didn't want to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride has cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore.
I don't care who makes the first move, as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says..."There's no one like you, Terri."
I look for you in the eyes of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at the Rainbow Room and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation.
She was young, Terri, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Breasts you wouldn't believe and a back porch like a tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right?
But as I sat on the couch looking at the top of her head, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, even if it does, you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Terri? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought like that before. I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little.
Later, after she'd left, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her shameless hunger, but something else. Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete?And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there, Terri, to watch. Do you know that I mean? Nothing feels the same without you, baby.
Jesus, Terri, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you. Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at church? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story. Anyway, we have a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're in our old bedroom. And she was giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she's not hung up about God and her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden she spotted that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she put it on the floor and we straddled it, you know, so we could watch ourselves. And it was totally hot, but it made me sad, too. Because I couldn't help thinking, "Why didn't Terri ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for about 14 years, and we never used it as a sex aid."
You know what I mean? What happened to our spontaneity? You get so caught up in the routine of a marriage and you just lose sight of each other. And then you lose yourself. That's the saddest part of all for me.
But I keep thinking we can get it back. I know we can, because I only want to do this stuff with you. Saturday, your sister dropped by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Shannon's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders. She's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in general. (She's pulling for us to get back together, Terri. She really is.)
So we were drinking in the hot tub and talking about happier times. Here was this attractive girl with the same DNA as you (although, let's be honest, she got an extra helping of the "sexy" gene), and all I could think of how much she looks like you did when you were 27. And that just about made me cry. And then it turned out Shannon's really into the whole anal thing, and that started me thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm discovering this whole new side of your sister, all I can do is think of you? It's true, baby. In your heart you know it.
Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances and start fresh? I think we can. I keep thinking that if you'd just try it, I wouldn't have to pressure you so much. Because who needs all that bitterness, Terri? It just tears us apart. And I can't be apart from you.
Because I love you.
9/25/2006
I'm Back
So I know it’s been a while. Sorry. I’ve been busy and/or out of town. Plus I always try not to blog too much when I’m pissed off. Now what could be pissing me off? Hmm…oh yeah, Ole Miss football sucks. But I’ve stuck through worse. One of the constant problems I have to deal with is people who pull for other schools going through similar problems talking trash. What do I mean? Well some people who read my blog don’t like me rooting for my team on here. They whine and complain and mock. Look go root for your own team in your own arena.
The actual problem here is that over time I will begin to resent their jealousy of my faithful devotion to my university and its athletic endeavors. I don’t want to take it out on other fans of their teams. That would be unfair. But I do find that I am becoming more of an ass to people when I find out they root for Team A when Team A happens to be one of the teams that these jealous people root for. So I’m actually going to use the FU Friday that I missed last week today.
The actual problem here is that over time I will begin to resent their jealousy of my faithful devotion to my university and its athletic endeavors. I don’t want to take it out on other fans of their teams. That would be unfair. But I do find that I am becoming more of an ass to people when I find out they root for Team A when Team A happens to be one of the teams that these jealous people root for. So I’m actually going to use the FU Friday that I missed last week today.
FU to all the folks who don’t like my faithful elegance to my team. If you don’t like it, stop reading. Go somewhere else. Losers.
By the way, does anyone know who this chick is? She is hot. Is it Heidi Klum?
Ok, next topic. (yes this is going to be a long post because I haven’t done one in a while)
Man we suck in football. We still beat Memphis, but we lost to Kentucky and Wake Forest. I can’t believe that. World around the campfire is that we are still in our rebuilding stages from the lackluster recruiting years of David Cutcliffe’s final stint as head coach at Ole Miss. Basically we have no depth and we are injured from one end of the team to the other. The reasons keep piling on. The long and short of it is we’re not going to do well this year. Worse than I had thought at the beginning of the season, but we should still get experience for all of our young guys. A few more years of good recruiting to add depth to our team will really help. I’m not going to waiver in my faithful devotion to Ole Miss. I’ll “keep drinking the kool aid.”
Next topic, the game this past weekend. I went to tailgate and never stepped foot in the stadium. The bottom dropped out before kickoff. Luckily we packed up everything before the heavy stuff came down. The brother, Two-odd, Yankee, and Yankee’s crazy girl stayed. As the folks drove off the heavy stuff fell. We took shelter under a porch at the old observatory. You could hear the announcer on the PA through the rain and thunder: “Leave the stadium! Seek shelter! You can come back later with your ticket stub. Do not go to the Grove!” They were serious. There were lightning strikes all over. We stayed there about 20 minutes. The rain kept getting worse. I finally said “forget this, let’s go back to Memphis.” And you know what, it wasn’t that bad of a drive. But the rain kept falling in Oxford. We finally got back to our parents’ house. I unloaded my truck. We unloaded their stuff. Hung up the tents that got wet. Did a few more things. I left. I was halfway home when the game finally started. I am really glad I didn’t stay. I would have kept drinking in the rain. Then gone to a game in the rain. I would have probably gotten sick and been very drunk. But would I have had more fun than going home and watching Notre Dame/Mich St and Kentucky/Florida? Probably, but I did get more sleep this way. And I felt great Sunday. Want to know how much it was raining. This is a couple of students walking back in the rain to Fraternity Row from the Grove. He was being a gentleman and letting her use the umbrella. But to be honest, in that much rain, it doesn't help. And you can tell he's young, he's not covering his drink well enough to keep the rain out. If he was smart, he'd hold it behind her back so she can block the rain.
Oh yeah! Thanks to Scotty Too Hotty for stopping by. He made the long trek to the tent to say hey.
Next topic: this coming weekend is the Georgia at Ole Miss game. I'll just say it. Georgia is going to kill us after almost losing to Colorado this weekend. They are going to be mad. I say take Georgia and the points if you're a betting man. In the meantime, our theme is Mexifest and birthday hilarity. Who's birthday? I don't know...or I won't say...or whatever. Anywho, Mexifest before an 8PM game. That's a lot of margaritas, beer, and mexican food. This doesn't sound like a good mixture. Actually...it sounds like a great one. If any of my friends would like to come by the tent, you should already have the directions that I emailed you. It would be nice if some folks who plan on staying a while bring booze and/or food (hint hint). Actually it would be nicer if you bring several attractive young ladies with you. Think of it as a birthday present to me. But I know I'll have a huge group of old college friends stop by. Spilly and Jules are flying in Friday afternoon. We are going out Friday night in Memphis before heading down Saturday. We are crashing somewhere in Oxford Saturday night. Evil Howard is supposed to be in town too. I think JKY is here. Don't know about Kevy though. Watkins may make another surprise visit.
Next to last topic: you crazy bitches, what the hell is wrong with you? I took this pic on the way to work one day last week.
I watched as the woman who owned the car stood next to it while the smoke started coming out. She was talking on her cell phone to one of her girlfriends. Then the smoke got worse. She stayed on the phone looking at the smoke and yapping to her girlfriends about God knows what. Then the flames started as I drove past. She stood there on the phone pointing at it. I really wanted to shout “get a f*cking fire extinguisher, you moron!” But I didn’t. I figured she needed all her concentration for the conversation. This took place in the course of one red light at East Parkway and Central.
If you look close enough you can see the flames under the car. By this point she had somehow gotten out of the view. I don't know where she went, but she's not there in the pic.
Last Topic. I promise. No seriously, I promise this is it. This Thursday the Memphis Ducks Unlimited Committee is hosting our annual membership dinner. If anyone is interested in tickets we have a few left. Email me at memphisphilip@hotmail.com. I’ll get you the information. We are going to have some really great items up for the auctions.
I feel like I'm forgetting something. If I did, I'll never know.
Have a good one and don’t get none on ya.
Songs on the Playlist:
Led Zeppelin – Good Times Bad Times
Little Feat – Fat Man In The Bathtub
REM – Everybody Hurts
Jimmy Buffett – Someday I Want
Jerry Jeff Walker – What I Like About Texas
Steely Dan – Do It Again
David Bowie – Ziggy Stardust
The Black Crowes – She Talks To Angels
9/21/2006
No HNT
Sorry folks. No HNT this week. I'm having one of those days. Enjoy the previous story.
Don't get none on ya
Don't get none on ya
9/20/2006
Walrus at the Monkey / Find The Coke Whore! Game
Friday night I did nothing. I worked late, swam laps and lounged around the house. And it was a blast.
Now, on to Saturday evening. If your Saturday involved a lot of heavy drinking, raise your hand.
Good. Saturday evening I went with the Shady Hasbeen, Shady Lady V, and HM to see Walrus play at the Blue Monkey. It was a great show. I really like the addition of the keyboard. I wish they could put it in with all the songs. Anywho, we met up at Shady Lady V’s place before hand, and she fixed dinner for us. And then she was the DD. I really think someone was trying to get brownie points. I’m not going to recap the whole evening. I’ll tell you that we did run into a ton of folks there: Goose, the Friggin D, DC & GC, King Trip (sans his lovely wife), JD, Capt Dave, and a few other folks. All of a sudden I can’t remember who all was there. Here are a few pics:
Now, on to Saturday evening. If your Saturday involved a lot of heavy drinking, raise your hand.
Good. Saturday evening I went with the Shady Hasbeen, Shady Lady V, and HM to see Walrus play at the Blue Monkey. It was a great show. I really like the addition of the keyboard. I wish they could put it in with all the songs. Anywho, we met up at Shady Lady V’s place before hand, and she fixed dinner for us. And then she was the DD. I really think someone was trying to get brownie points. I’m not going to recap the whole evening. I’ll tell you that we did run into a ton of folks there: Goose, the Friggin D, DC & GC, King Trip (sans his lovely wife), JD, Capt Dave, and a few other folks. All of a sudden I can’t remember who all was there. Here are a few pics:Somebody decided to show us a trick. We eventually got a straw so people who were starving of thirst could have drink. Aren't helpful people the best?
The Shady Hasbeen told me that if certain things weren't done, she'd never talk to me again. So I obliged her kind request.
We have a couple of shady ladies being stalked by some crazy guy. No one is sure who he is, but we do know that he stalked Ptolemy's Queen Laura all year long. And for some reason, she put up with it. Hm...
We also started a new game. Now let me preface this by saying this is not a reflection on the Blue Monkey. This is a reflection on the sudden influx of new people at the better watering holes around town. The game is called “Find the Coke Whore!” It’s really easy to play. You need to be in a bar (say the Blue Monkey) on a Friday or Saturday night around 1 or 2 in the morning. Closer to 1AM is the best time to start it. You basically look around the bar and point out the first Coke Whore (urban dictionary definition link) you see. You know the Coke Whore is the girl (or guy sometimes) who shows up at the bar when everyone is starting to really wind down (or really get crazy). They float from one group of strangers to the next looking for anyone who wants to “party.” They are usually dressed very sexy/scantily-clad/slutty/whatever-you-want-to-call-it. Here are a few pics of examples:
Ok to be honest, this last pic came from some art contest thing I found on google. I think it may be staged, but she looks like a damn coke whore. And there's a little coke there. So here's the link to the page (note there may be nude pics on there; I'm not sure). Now I'm not saying the women in these pictures are coke whores, but they show characteristics of them (in the pics).
We had so much fun playing our game that we actually had other people come over to see what we were laughing about. They ended up playing too. Unfortunately I couldn’t take a pic of the winning Coke Whore because she would never get away from her shady friend. He kept eyeing us, and we really didn’t want to fight a coke head. But I did get a pic of this guy instead. 
He’s not a coke head. He just has a really badass shirt. I'm not sure who he was a fan of, but I'm sure of who he doesn't like. Isn't football season great?
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