8/17/2007

Phoenix Club Luau Party Update

Here is some info on tonight's kickass party straight from el presidente:

- There is a beer truck with 8 taps running. Two free bars, one with hurricanes provided by Owen Brennan's, and another with martini-type stuff provided by Swig. There is also a cash bar for a wider variety of beverages.

-Hog Wild BBQ will be providing food (not sure if it's for free or not, but you should eat before you get there anyway).

- Tickets will be available at the door. $30 a person.

I'm going to go on record and say that if you decide to skip this, you will miss one of the best parties of the year. I mean when's the next chance you have to see Raiford DJ?

8/15/2007

Phoenix Club Luau Party Friday

Do you want to see the return of Hollywood Raiford? Come to the party Friday. If you're looking for tickets I have plenty. Email me:
memphisphilip AT hotmail DOT com


8/12/2007

Hello, Is Anyone Out There?

I'm boring lately I know. I've been partying. I've been training. I've been working. I'm sure I can come up with a great post, but I'm just making this short. Here are the quick notes:

Tupelo's King of the Hill triathlon: came in dead last. No that's not a typo. Dead last. But I did finish even if I had to walk the final three miles of the run. What happened? I didn't drink enough water and my legs cramped up so bad I could barely walk to the next mile marker where there was a water station. After three cups of water and some serious stretching, I was able to start jogging again. But I was so completely exhausted by that point, I just walked most of the way. I'm definitely going to drink more water before my next triathlon.

Sabafest: Kicked ass. I got drunk. Then I got more drunk. Then it went downhill. If I pissed anyone off, sorry. Other notes on that night: Walrus rocked, food rocked, and people there rocked, but where was everyone? I knew of about 10 folks who said they were going and blew it off. Yall suck.

Couples shower notes: yall are getting old when you start shutting down the party at 10:30. Boo! Thank God, they pulled out the Jager and Gold. Too bad Butter Fingers Robbins broke a whole bottle of Jager.

Ok, I'm going to bed. I know there's more to talk about...wait! I bought a bike. It'll be here Thursday. After doing the King of the Hill's 22 mile bike ride on a mountain bike, I decided that I needed a real bike. So I bought a used one on ebay. I can't wait for it to get here. I acutally rode my dad's old bike tonight for 50 minutes just to stay in shape for it. I'm really ready to get on my own badass bike.

Ok, that's it for now. I'm going to watch the end of this show and go to bed. Night yall.

8/05/2007

Sabafest Time Again

Here's the poster. I had to grab it off an acrobat scan. I'll put up a real post later.

7/27/2007

Confuscious say "lack of title make reader bored"

Ok, I'm on the water this weekend. If you're in Memphis, go to the Walrus show at the Blue Monkey Saturday. Other than that I'm not sure what's going on this weekend. Btw, I'm pissed I missed the damn Lord T & Eloise show last night.

have a great weekend

7/24/2007

Blogger sucks donkey balls

I hopped on the blog. My most recent post about the Phoenix Club party with Raiford wouldn't pop up. I had to head to someone else's blog and follow a link back. WTF! I wonder if it's because I used a long ass title.
Hopefully posting this short bitching session will fix the problem.

Party for white people who can't dance

That's right kiddies! The sensation you never experienced is making a return trip to the Memphis party scene.

Raiford is back, baby!!!

Since Raiford's Hollywood Disco closed, I've had so many people make comments to me about how they always meant to go, but "just never did." Well he is performing at the Phoenix Club's Luau party on Friday August 17th.

Now you could go to the Phoenix Club's website and order tickets, or you could help me out and buy tickets from me. They are $30 per person and the proceeds go to our big end of the year check to the Boys & Girls Clubs of Greater Memphis (we raise over $100,000 annually with help from folks like you). So if you want to get a ticket contact a friend who is a member or you can email me at memphisphilip at hotmail dot com.

I should have my tickets this Thursday afternoon so go ahead and start getting your orders in ASAP. I'll post more details later.

7/18/2007

"Run along, dear. (smack!) Man talk."

I think I know what I'm going to do Friday night. Ok, so I can quote this movie from start to finish (almost), but to see it on the Orpheum's big screen would be badass. But I don't think I'm busting out the tux for it. Of course I do have to go into work for a few hours Saturday morning so I don't know what I'll do exactly, but this is probably it.

"My name is Pussy Galore."

"I must be dreaming."

7/17/2007

"It's an optical illusion. It's the pattern on the pants."

Who the hell has my Anchorman DVD? It's been missing for a few weeks and I have no idea where the hell it is. Who's hiding it?

7/16/2007

Mighty Mite Medal

Here are a couple of pics of the medal I got. On the front side is the name and logo of the race:
On the back side it says "Triathlon Finisher."

7/15/2007

Mighty Mite Recap

So as you regular readers all know, I did my first triathlon yesterday at the Mighty Mite Triathlon in Forrest City, AR. I had a blast. It was a .3 mile swim, 13 mile bike ride, and 3 mile run. I did what I went to do which was finish. Not only did I finish, but I finished in under 2 hours. My overall time was 1 hour 49 minutes 50 seconds. I'll break down the details below for you at the end. First here's how the day started:

I woke up at 3:55 AM and hit the snooze button. Finally got out of bed after 4:10 and grabbed my gear. Had a quick breakfast and headed out. I noticed that there was a nice foggy mist throughout Memphis as I drove through town. I had the iPod playing random to wake up before putting it on a "get ready to do a competition" mix which was mostly heavy metal (Metallica, GNR, White Zombie). Basically fast, loud, aggressive music that would put me in the mental zone I needed. As I crossed the Mississippi River, I noticed that the fog appeared to have lifted. It hadn't. About the point where I-55 and I-40 meet, the fog popped back up. It was so think I couldn't see two car lengths in front of me. Always great driving conditions when you're speeding down I-40 and can't see a car until it's right in front of you. Just before I got to Crowley's Ridge, the fog lifted. I pulled into and walked around like a deer in head lights. Everyone else knew each other and seemed to know what the hell was going on. I registered and was ready to do my thing. I was about to walk out of the registration area when a lady stopped me to write my numbers on my arms and legs. I'm number 323 for the rest of the day.

I grabbed my gear and changed into the tri shorts I'd have the rest of the day. I headed to the starting point, 13 miles down the road in an Arkansas state park. Most triathlons have the same start/finish area. This one was different. It started and finished 16 miles apart. You start with the swim course, head to the first transition area (T1), do the bike course, head to the second transition area (T2), and run to the finish line. They started us in waves at the swim course. The first wave was Men under 40, then Men 40 and over, then women and relay teams, and finally all beginners. I'm obviously in the beginner category. They put everyone along the shoreline of this lake and have a mass chaotic beginning. There were people literally swimming over me. This one bi-otch kept cutting in front of me over and over no matter how many times I tried to get out from behind her. I guess she had some sonar built into her ass or something. Anyhoo, I get to the first turn and make a wide turn to get out of the crowd so I can finally hit my stride without having to stop every 5 seconds when I hit someone's feet. I get to the shore and head into the first transition area where I had my bike stationed. I dry my feet with my doo rag that I wear under my helmet before taking off.

The bike course was along Crowley's Ridge. I had the worst bike there. I'm not joking I actually did. I thought it was an old bike that belonged to the brother. Turns out it is my sister's old bike, an old Target Huffy mountain bike. So not only was it a girl's bike that was too small for me, but it was heavy as hell which made the uphills really difficult. My bike time was horrible, but I wasn't too focused on that. I really just enjoyed the country side and the view along the way. Yeah it sucked having people pass me all the time especially the 12 year old girl in the first mile (don't worry, I passed her 5 minutes later). The bike was probably the most scenic part of it. We got to ride past a peach orchard, but the best site was when I had been focusing on the white line on the road for so long trying to just power up this incline. I finally got to the top and reached down for my water bottle. I took a sip and looked around to find myself alone at this crest along the ridge. This was one of the few spots along the way without woods so I was surrounded on all sides with just a few fields and a beautiful sky above me. You wouldn't believe how breathtaking it was. It wasn't anything spectacular, but at that moment, it was one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen.

I finally finished the bike portion when I got to the second transition. I jogged out of there and took off down the road. Having pedalled so much for the previous thirteen miles I was worn out. I could job, but my quads were so weak that I could hardly lift my feet for the first quarter mile. I finally got my strength back and started down the road to the finish on some more rolling hills. I was at the peak of one hill when this police officer told me it was all down hill the rest of the way (he was being nice because there were two more little inclines in the last mile). But I started passing all these people who kicked my butt on the bike course. As I rounded a corner into the heart of Forrest City there were families on their porches or in their yards cheering us on. One man was sitting in a lawn chair with a hose. He'd put a mist in the air for you to run through. I told him that God definitely had a special place in heaven for him. I went over a little hill just after that and saw the finish line. Then I remembered someone at the water station at the two mile mark saying that once you see the finish line you have another block to go. By this point I was really running. I came around the final corner of the block in what felt like a sprint (probably still jogging though) and as I crossed a sensor point the guy on the PA system yells out "And finishing his first triathlon ever, it's Philip (my name with an added nickname he thought was funny)." FYI they let you velcro a computer chip to your leg so they know how long you took on each portion of the race and transition areas.

After I crossed the finish line, I headed over to the gatorade cooler before finding the people I met as well as some other friends who did triathlons. I hung out for a bit before someone asked where my medal was. Turns out all beginners got medals. I'll post the pictures later.

Overall I had a blast and can't wait to do the next one or two in August. I always thought this was an almost impossible goal to reach but I did it. I'm really proud of myself and of this new hobby I've chosen. Everyone I talked to about it said it was a huge commitment, but honestly, it's not that big of a commitment. I just cut out a few things I used to do. I'm eating healthier and working out more than going to the bar. Some people may think that is a bad trade, but honestly, I'm in better shape than I've been for the last three or four years. Plus I still go out to party and my tolerance hasn't gone down. Sounds like a win-win situation to me.

Anyhoo, for those of you who want my time intervals there below this paragraph. Have a great week.

Of the 53 male beginners, I placed 42nd overall. On the swim course I placed 11th out of 53. On the bike course I placed 48th. On the run course I placed 17th.
My swim time was 10:57 for .3 miles.
My first transition time was 5:59 - I really took my time getting ready and drying my feet before putting on socks and shoes. Turns out that was smart because a lot of people who didn't wipe their feet had wet socks and rocks on their feet from the walk/run from the water to their bikes.
My bike time was 1:04:11 for 13 miles (12.2 miles per hour)
My second transition time was 2:50.
My run time was 25:54 for 3 miles (8:38 minutes per mile average).
My overall time was 1:49:50.

7/14/2007

Goooooood Morning, Vietnam!!!!

So it's 4:23 AM. I'm having breakfast and about to head out the door for the nice long ass drive to my first triathlon. Let's go down the list of what I need:

Shoes? check
Bike? check
Running shirt? check
Goggles? check
Sunglasses? check
Helmet? check
Socks? check
Ridiculous looking bathing suit/bike shorts/running shorts? check
A completely positive mental attitude and a determination to kick ass today? Not really. It's almost 4:30 AM and I'm out of bed, so let's keep things in perspective.

Seriously, I'm really excited and am ready to complete this triathlon. Again, notice I said COMPLETE.

I wonder if they'll have beer there after the race is over? Hmm...

Yall have a great Saturday and don't get none on ya.

7/13/2007

Ugh

I am a little hungover still. Too much fun last night at the Ptolemy Happy Hour. I'll have to post the story later. I'm about to head back to work, but I am compiling a lot of details from my co-drunks so I don't miss anything. The one thing I will say is that it's not a good sign when the bartender asks if you entire table needs to be cutoff.

Saturday I'm doing the MightyMite Triathlon in Forrest City, AR. That night I'm heading in town for a party.

Ok I have to get back to work. Adios

7/11/2007

When a door closes...

The canoe trip this weekend is cancelled. Not so much cancelled as no one actually planned it. So I'm going to try to complete the triathlon in Forrest City, AR Saturday. Please note that I said "COMPLETE" and not "COMPETE". That's assuming that my bike gets out of the shop by Friday. Let's hope it works out.

What else is going on? Ptolemy has a Happy Hour this Thursday at Cafe Ole. As usual it's open to anyone to attend.

Also this Thusday, the Memphis Rebel Club has their Annual Kick-Off Meeting at the Memphis Botanic Garden. Special guests include head football coach Ed Orgeron, head baseball coach Mike Bianco, and head basketball coach Andy Kennedy. There are others but those are the ones I'd be interested in seeing.
Details: From 5:30 to 7 social hour and silent auction; at 7 program begins
EDIT: The Rebel Club meeting is next week.

Not sure what I'm going to do over the next few days besides work and the triathlon, but whatever it is, I'll give you a recap.

Btw anyone know of anything fun Saturday night? After the race, I'll want to go out that night.

7/08/2007

Insecurities of Old Fuckers and a Wonderful Rumor

Hope you had a restful weekend. I did. Before I continue the spread of a rumor that's started, I'm going to cover a topic that I have to share.

The other day I was swimming laps at the gym. I stopped at the end of my workout and noticed some older guy in another lane swimming. This isn't out of the ordinary. Most people who swim laps at my gym are either in high school/on a swim team or are "older" (read: age of parents/grandparents). I wouldn't have paid any attention other than the fact that he kept stopping at the end of each pool length to fix his combover. Yeah, you read that correctly. He would stop and fix his combover while swimming. I wanted to tell him to just go buy a swim cap, but I laughed to myself and called it a night.

This isn't the only time recently I've seen an older man with a hair malfunction. A while back I was with a family and one of the children kept coming up to the father and saying "Daddy, would you please do something about this? I'm tired of fixing your combover." Literally, the father's combover would start to slide forwards or backwards on his head, and the child (who is my age) would reach up and put it back in place. I can't make this up.

I wonder, why do men of the previous generation feel that a combover is an appropriate response to hair loss? Seriously? It's really one step above a toupee. The only thing that distinguishes the combover from the toupee in the realm of "pathetic ways to cope" is a combover is real hair. Really your own hair. What little bit you have left of it. Only strangers and your childrens' friends will laugh at your combover. With a toupee, even your friends and family members will laugh at you.

I know that losing your hair is a huge confidence killer for men. But instead of worrying about that little patch of hair you're losing on top of your head, why don't you worry about something you can control, like the spare tire you're carrying around.

But back to the original guy in the pool, why would he fix the damn combover every lap. He would literally stop, fix the combover, catch a quick breath, and start all over. It was almost like he was thinking "alright if I fix this really quickly, the cute lifeguard won't notice it slipping. And maybe at the other end of the pool it will still be in place!" Do you know what the definition of insanity is? Insanity is performing the exact same action(s) repeatedly and expecting a different outcome every time.

Okay enough of that crap. On to the rumor...

I've heard this also, but Downtown Paul posted that Raiford is going to do one final party. I don't have the date or location yet, but it's supposed to be somewhere downtown. I hope it's going to be as badass as everyone will make it out to be. I'll post more on this when I get it confirmed.

Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

7/05/2007

Great America!

Happy 5th of July yall. I tried to put this up yesterday, but I was having technical difficulties.

I hope you had a relaxing 4th of July. I did. I'd like to show a few things that make this great nation, well, great. It's mostly pics that I've been meaning to post but haven't taken the opportunity, but I'm only using the pics that show great things here in the good ol' U. S. of A.

First we have girls wearing low-cut jeans.
Another great thing about America is George Thorogood and the Destroyers doing "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" at Music Fest.Another thing that makes America great are tribute bands like this one. Appetite for Destruction played at Newby's not long ago. They are always a great show. Here's "Axl" doing the beginning of "Patience."
Here's when the rest of the band jumped in. Americans playing as their favorite rockers and covering awesome American rock songs. God Bless the USA!
Another great thing about America is its other genres of music like country. Here's a few pics of Robert Earl Keen playing a great show at the New Daisy two weeks back. He started with a cowboy hat (never seen him do that) and later played "Merry Christmas from the Family." He even said he never does that outside of the holiday season.
Here they are jamming out during a song after a quick break.A great thing is when you get to meet some of your favorite artists. I actually got to meet REK after the show and got a pic with him. I had a pic from a show a few years ago but DP never gave me a copy. He claims he did, but I don't recall it and don't have it. So I was happy to get this pic.

I hope you had a great 4th of July. Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

What it is?

Hey yall,
Still trying to get my 4th of July post up, but with the problems I've been having, I'm not promising when it will be. Just an FYI

6/29/2007

Good Ol' Cracky Top

Came home today for lunch and thought I'd post this for yall really quick.
Found this story online. The basic synopsis is that a UT Football Player was arrested for possessing and selling crack cocaine. That's right, a Tennessee Football player was arrested for selling crack. I said that twice because I have plenty of friends who are big UT fans (I'm talking to you Big Guy!). This should knock ol' Rocky Top down a few notches.

Have a great weekend. And sorry to my UT crackhead friends, I couldn't pass this one up. Here's a little diddy I wrote for you:

Undercover cops went on Cracky Top
Looking for a moonshine still.
All they could find were cheap ass crack rocks
Sold by a Vol named Darrell.

Cracky Top, you'll always be
A drug friendly place to me!
Good Ol' Cracky Top,
Cracky Top Tennessee!

Why do I feel like this is going to come back and haunt me?

Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

6/28/2007

Wish I Had My Camera Posts

There are two things I've seen recently that make me wish I had my camera on me. I think you might like them.

First I have seen the Germantown Pimp. (Germantown is a suburb of Memphis) I never knew there was a Germantown Pimp. But I was on my lunch break earlier this week driving to grab a bite in Germantown when I saw this man walking...excuse me, strutting down the street. He had a pair of elevator shoes and a full brimmed hat with a leopard sash on around it. He had a black suit with a black shirt and no tie. Like I said, I wish I had my camera with me.

Second I saw a bumper sticker the other day for Germantown High School in the parking lot at work. It said something like 'Germantown High, A Great Tradition.' I think there needs to be another bumper sticker for them:

"GERMANTOWN HIGH SCHOOL, BRINGING THUG LIFE TO THE SUBURBS"

Do you think I can market that?

6/20/2007

Triathlon Training Update

Today after work, I swam 1 mile, biked 7.2 miles, and ran 3.25 miles at the gym.

The standard "sprint" triathlon is .5 mile swim, 12.4 mile bike, and 3.1 mile run...I think.

I just need to keep conditioning myself so I can do it in the heat of July and August.
 
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