Yeah I'm alive

Barely. The weekend have been full of drinks. The weeks have been full of swimming and working. Need an example of drinking? Here was two weeks ago where I was drunk enough to explain my frustration after another Ole Miss loss. Hey Bama, here's to ya.We'll resume our regularly scheduled drunken recaps tomorrow. I have plenty of stories that I need to go over.

I'm headed to a big wedding tonight. See yall later.

Dammit!

Well I have a ton of great drunk pics from the weekend in Oxford BUT I can't post them because blogger is being a shit...again. It's been like this since Sunday evening. I mean great drunk pics. I could post just the stories, but the pics make the stories. So sorry.

What's that thing next to the old Monkey?

It's the new Blue Monkey downtown!!! Actually more of a revamped Blue Monkey. I found the link to the article on Downtown Paul's blog. So it looks like they'll reopen around Thanksgiving. Awesome. Things are starting to look up. Let's do a quick recap:

-Raiford's has reopened.

-The Downtown Monkey is going to reopen.

-Britney Spears is finally being seen for the whacked out Louisiana trailer tramp she is.

-Notre Dame has a losing football record.

-It's "Oktoberfest" at my tent Saturday.

All is right with the world.

The Brother Punks His Company

A few weeks back, the brother's company did an "employee appreciation" week with a theme of Enjoy Life. All employees were encouraged to submit a dessert with that theme at the end of the week. Everyone in his department asked if he was going to do a jello mold. He said he wasn't.

Now there's a bit of back story here that I need to share with you. It is my understanding that a ton of folks in his department are what you would call "Office nuts." I don't mean the stereotypical people you work with that drive you crazy. No, I mean people who love the show "The Office." Within his first six months of employment, the brother made a jello mold with a stapler in it similar to what the character Jim did to Dwight in the show. The jello mold made it from desk drawer to desk drawer as the brother and his victims continued the joke in good humor from one person to the next. Everyone got a ton of laughs from it.

So the brother didn't want to do a jello mold with a stapler or anything else. He was discussing the issue with me a few days before and had decided he was going to do something simple. Over the course of the discussion, he decided to do an elaborate prank on the entire office: he was going to put icing on a box or two of cake mix and call it a "cake." I suggested that he bake some cookies as backup just in case they actually wanted him to contribute to potluck table of deserts after the contest. He got the cake boxes prepared and did an elaborate job with putting a logo and the "Enjoy Life" theme on the icing.

When it came time for judging, he won his floor, and his cake was put into the running for the best overall. The whole time that this was taking place, he was emailing me saying how he couldn't believe they thought he actually baked a cake. He was having trouble containing his laughter while people kept coming to his desk to tell him how impressed they were with his originality and design. By this point he had told only one person the truth at the office.

Just before they were going to pick the overall winner, he realized that there was a good chance he was going to beat someone who ACTUALLY made a dessert. He fessed up for the prank and explained the situation. So he didn't win first prize overall because he "didn't actually make a dessert." The winning duo got coupons to Starbucks; woohoo! great prize! But he did win most creative which included a prize of free pizza and soft drinks. Hmm...I wonder who got the better prize. Here's a pic of the brother with his "cake."

I'm very proud of him. He did bring the cookies he baked out of hiding to share with the rest of the desserts that everyone could eat. It's my understanding that his dessert was the talk of the office. Way to go, man!

Bleh!

Does anyone know where the hell I left my camera adapter? I have a ton of pics on the camera that I can't get on the computer. This has been driving me nuts for over a week. Stupid Sony card! If I don't find it by the afternoon I'm going to buy another one.

By the way, how are you? I'm still alive and kicking. Yea I had a good birthday on Thursday. Just kept it lowkey this year. I enjoyed it. Minneapolis was great. But I'll get to all that when I can post pics (mostly so I can remember what the hell I've been doing this week...and last).

Later

Party Flyer for Saturday Night

It's official. I'm going to be one of the shot bartenders from 10-11. What's the ratio? One for you, two for me?

But I finally got the pic of the invite. Here's the front and back of it. It's going to be a blast. See you there.

Party Saturday Night

This Saturday night, the Grand Krewe of Ptolemy is hosting its annual Fall Party at Ernestine & Hazel's downtown. The party starts at 7:30 and lasts until...you black out, I guess. There will be live music and free beer (and shots!). The party will be free for all 2007-2008 Ptolemy members and their guest. Non-members must pay $35. Also if past members choose to pay just the $35 entry fee instead of all their dues, I'm pretty sure that fee will go toward your 2007-2008 dues (double check with our Chair Natasha or someone at the door). This is a great opportunity to check out krewe if you've been curious.

Alright, now that I have the official wording out of my way, I can get down to the more important details:

The theme is Old School, or as I like to call it "Reliving your college debauchery in one night." There are going to be soul burgers, beer, music, and shots. The party is being thrown in a former brothel. What more do you want? It's going to be a big time. Besides what else are you going to do? Go to the Blues Ball? I don't think so. If you do, you're probably getting stuck at the back table. So leave your responsibilities and worries at home and act like you're back in college for one night. It'll be worth it. Hell do the full cliche and try to be this guy:

p.s. someone bring a beer bong. I don't know where I put mine from college.

Short Post

Sorry to do a short one. I was going to make this long but I have to run back to the office now to fix a problem. Yeah.

Real quick though, I did my third triathlon this past weekend in Conway, AR. The CATS triathlon. It was a 500 yard swim, 14 mile bike ride, and a 3.1 mile run. I finished it in approximately 1 hour 42 minutes and 50ish seconds. A new personal record. I felt so great when I finished it.

Anyhoo, I have to run now. Adios.

Coupling - Janes advice

Here's teh video, sorry I couldn't put it as part of the previous post. Enjoy nonetheless.

Quick Post

So I know I'm slacking this week, but I'm busy. I've got a triathlon in Arkansas on Sunday and I'm really focusing on finalizing my training leading up to it. I did manage to go out to dinner last night with almost the entire group from "the toe incident." The brother didn't make it but the rest of us did. And the stitches are out, so the Shady Lady V can finally walk around with shoes again.



Other than that, not much is going on. So in order to continue to keep you entertained, here's another video from that great BBC show, Coupling. Here Jane gives a post-coital critique of Patrick. Enjoy.

Double Recap

So it's been a while since I posted. Sorry. But this (hopefully) short recap will be a good example of why I've been so damn busy. (I just finished it, and it is really long. Sorry)

Let's see, my last post came on Thursday week before last. That night I went to Newby's for the Lord T & Eloise video shooting. I had heard they were going to start shooting around 10. I was wrong. Some local white guy rapper named Kaz started out. The crowd was full of your regular Lord T folks and the folks who showed up to be in a rap video. There was this one girl there wearing a tight orange dress. I'll say that she was not the type of girl who should wear anything tight. Between her gut and her bedonkeydonk she needed to be a little less revealling. She was definitely a source of entertainment for all of us around. The real act came on around midnight. Unfortunately we only stayed for a few songs, because some of us have to work for a living.

The next night (Friday week before last, Labor Day weekend) I took it easy. I swam and then packed to go dove hunting the next morning. I woke up Saturday morning around 3:45, grabbed the hunting stuff and we headed west into Arkansas for a dove hunt. We picked a horrible spot and only ended up with 4. We high tailed it home. After unloading the truck, I took a quick shower and had my two pregame beers (one before my shower and one in the shower). I grabbed a quick bite at Vanelli's Deli (I'll post about them sometime soon). Got down to the Liberty Bowl and went into the game with my buddy Daniel. It was a good game for the first half and then the Rebels started to stink it up in the second half. Fortunately our team pulled out the win so I don't have to hear those obnoxious Memphis fans at work talk trash for another year. The week leading up to the game was just brutal. They kept playing the "Colonel Rebel's Crying" (aka the Coach O song) over and over at work. Funny thing is, most Ole Miss fans think it's great. I laugh every time I hear it.
After the game I raced home to pack for the lake. I grabbed my stuff and started rolling. I hit the bridge over the Mississippi at 8:50. I made it to the lake house at 11:15. I was exhausted, but I had a few beers before I got went to bed. The rest of our group showed up Sunday morning. We went on the water around 11:30. Sometime around 12:30 the Shady Lady V started screaming by the back of the boat. Turns out she cut her foot. We jumped back in the boat and drove to the marina. We pulled ahead of the other boats and docked to get her out of the boat and into a car. I grabbed the first aid kit and HM was about to start bandaging her toe for the ride to the hospital. I ran into the marina's office and asked for directions to the hospital. In the meantime this guy walks up to HM and asks if he can help. HM says "well, I'm an Eagle Scout and a former lifeguard." The guy says "I'm a combat medic." HM immediately steps away and replies "man, have at it." I walk out to see this random guy spraying anti-bacterial stuff on her toe and bandaging it up. He was done in no time at all. We thanked him and everyone else who helped us.
We walked the Shady Lady V up to the car and went back to the house. It was out of gas so she and I had to jump in my truck. We got to the hospital in Heber Springs in about 25 minutes. We'd have been there sooner, but there was a stupid tractor driving down the road at 15 mph. He finally pulled off. We didn't leave the hospital until after 7PM. She got 10 stitches. We had dinner at the house and tried to watch Talledega nights until everyone started falling asleep. We got up Monday morning (Labor Day) and packed up to head home. It was pretty uneventful.

This past week I spent time working (of course) and training for my next triathlon. I did go to a planning meeting for the Ptolemy Fall Party at Ernestine & Hazel's on Sept. 29. It's going to be good if the lawyers don't kill all the good ideas for "safety precautions." I'll post more details about the party as they become finalized. But the theme is Old School. I call it an excuse to party like you did in college. But knowing some of my friends, that's going to be a scary thing.

This past Friday I had two parties planned on the same night. The first was the Art On Tap at the Brooks Museum. It had rained earlier that afternoon, so the weather was cooler but humid. I saw a ton of folks there. I actually met a guy who has been banned from the Brookhaven Pub for a year and half. I kinda wish I knew why but I was pulled away to talk to some other folks later. Didn't take any pics because I spent most of the time drinking and talking. If you've never been, I recommend it for next year. It's a beer tasting with every kind of beer that's sold in the Memphis market. I ran into a few guys from work. I asked one guy what he had tried and liked. He said "I'm just drinking the Miller Lite." When I inquired further, he said "well, I like Miller Lite. I only want to drink Miller Lite. And I don't have to walk through the crowd to get another one. Plus everyone I want to see will walk past me here at some point in the night." At least he knows what he wants.
I left there at 7:30 because I had to be on time for the next party. It was a surprise birthday party for my buddies Zac and Matt at Neil's. We had a pretty good time. Zac's birthday is a milestone age so his girlfriend got him a cake with a guy made of icing trying to crawl out of a grave. I'll post a pic later. I run across something I didn't know could exist. A friend of the group didn't know how to use the keg. How do you live into your late 20's and admittedly like beer, but don't know how to use the tap on a keg? Kinda blew my mind.
Unfortunately, I had to head home around 11:30. I had big plans the next day (yesterday) in Oxford and had to help the 'rents pack the trucks to go down Saturday morning. I got home around 12 and helped pack the coolers. I finally said I'm exhausted and went to bed.

We got up around 9:15 yesterday morning and finished packing the truck. Of course Murphy's Law was in effect. We finally get down and set up the tent around lunch time. Nothing really extraordinary happened. Some chicken headed college girls showed up and acted like idiots. Yankee brought the Maker's Tea (I had 5 and somehow was still standing). We ate, drank, and had a great time. I had friends stop by to say hey. It was real low key until right before we were going to head into the game. My friends Troy and Lauren walked up with their baby girl. She was absolutely precious. Somehow she slept through all the music and the rowdyness. She woke up a few minutes before we had to head to the stadium. She kept smiling at all the folks standing around looking at her. She was absolutely precious. We are all thankful she looks more like Momma than Daddy.
The game started out horrible. But Ole Miss started to rally against the Mizzou Tigers in the second half. Out of nowhere we started driving the ball and stopping their offense. It was really cool to see them play like that. I would have liked it better if we had won, but that didn't happen. Went back to the tent after the game and had some more of Yankee's Makers Tea.
We finish packing the trucks and head out around 10:15PM. We hit a line of stopped cars before the Sardis bridge on highway 7. The line didn't finally move until after 11:30. So we hopped in the back of the truck and ate the rest of our fried chicken, cheese, and water melon. It sucked that all the drinks were in the other truck but we were fine. After we finished the chicken. The brother and I decided we were going to walk towards the bridge where we thought the wreck was so we could see what was going on. People looked at us as we were walking towards it and just staring. I kept telling them that we'd bring them a report of what was going on. We got over halfway there when we saw a line of cars starting to move towards us as the cops finally let the vehicles through again. We turned around and started running towards our ride and everyone started jumping back in their cars too. When we got back to the truck there was a line of cars that went right past us, but we didn't move. The cops finally let our group through the bridge. We didn't get home until late and quickly unpacked the truck before going to bed.

So that's what's been going on. Hope you've been doing well. Have a great rest of your weekend. Sorry it was so long.

Songs on the playlist:
Evanescence - Call Me When You're Sober
Coldplay - Lips Like Sugar (live in Paris, cover)
Hoodoo Gurus - Like Wow-Wipeout
Guns N' Roses - It's So Easy
Coldplay - Green Eyes
The Rolling Stones - Live With Me
GNR - Out Ta Get Me
The Smithereens - Too Much Passion
The Rolling Stones - Angie
Coldplay - Yellow
The Travelling Wilburys - Handle With Care
The Romantics - Talking In Your Sleep
Lord T & Eloise - Black Limousine
Lord T & Eloise - Pills
GNR - Mr. Brownstone
The Rolling Stones - Can't You Hear Me Knocking

It's Official: Ya'll Be There

Memphis Music Video

So I hear that a certain Memphis rap group is filming a music video this Thursday night. I don't have confirmation on the details just yet. But hopefully I will soon.

By the way, it's not Three 6 Mafia. The group in question is a very well articulated group who uses words most thug rappers couldn't find in the dictionary. They are are the elite class of the crunk world.



Have ya figured it out yet?

Cat's Out of the Bag

I’ll make this quick. Last night my dad was talking to me about some stuff. Towards the end of the conversation, this little exchange happens:
Dad: “So I hear you have a blog.”
Me: “What? Maybe…dammit.”
Dad: “Yeah you do. (Name withheld until I kill him) told me so. So what’s this blog about?
Me: “Nothing. I gotta go.”

So now I’m at a cross roads. I don’t know whether to change what I do on here or not. But I’ve been thinking about it; when I first started I’d say what I felt and not hold back short of changing a few details (names, dates, places, etc). But as more and more people I knew socially began to read this, I’ve had to drop certain subjects and events in my life. In fact I won’t speak about some other things now because I think someone from work may read the blog too. I hate restrictions, but I’ll just deal with it.

So here’s what I’m going to do now: I’m going to keep doing the same shit. But now I can use this as an excuse to make some of the changes I’ve been trying to work towards. From now on, I’m not going to talk about my plans beforehand unless they’re something big like a big party. If I’m going to a bar with friends, I’m not going to mention it beforehand. I’ll recap it later. I like this idea.

Anyhoo, I’m heading to the bike shop this afternoon to pick up the new bike before I head downtown for a birthday dinner and then a Cowboy Mouth show. Adios yall.

One Day Left...

Until I get my badass bike from the bike shop. I got it off ebay at a "deal-deal" price (most of you won't catch that unless you've seen "Kelly's Heroes"). But it arrived in pieces. I'm not Santa Claus so I had to get professionals to put it together. I'm heading up there after work to buy clip pedals and shoes and MAYBE an odometer. Don't know if I need it yet. We'll see. I can't wait to get it. I've been riding my other bike (Dad's old bike) for over the last week and am ready to fly on a real road bike.

Unfortunately I can't ride it until this weekend. Tomorrow after I pick up the bike, I have to take it home. I'm heading to a birthday dinner and then (maybe) to Cowboy Mouth (I think at the Peabody). Friday I'm on the road to the lake for the weekend. So I'll ride in the mountains of the Ozarks Saturday and Sunday.

Anyhoo, nothings going on tonight, so have a good one and don't get none on ya.

Blows My Mind

One of my guilty pleasures is to check out Go Fug Yourself. They have a great ability to make fun of celebrities and celebrity wanna-bes in their attempts to keep up with the latest fashions.(when's our local Z-List celeb, Mendi, going to get her shot at this kind of treatment?).

I'll admit that I'm not the most fashionably conscious person you'll ever meet. Hell, I think it should be ok to go to a bar in flip flops and shorts during the summer and I can't quite understand why people dress up in suits to go to Beale (not including people who come from weddings or similar functions). Anyhoo, I'm straying away from the point (must be all the sweettarts I've had this afternoon).

So I was on Go Fug Yourself and saw this post. This is the girl who drove me to school when I was in 9th Grade. And here she is. Now she is called "Sarah Jane Morris." I knew her as Sarah Morris who was president of the student council at Hutchison and as the girl who introduced me to Dave Matthews "Under The Table And Dreaming" album 6 months before it went big. I know that now she stars in Brothers & Sisters on ABC but I never watched it because it conflicted with something else on my tivo list. Funny thing is one of my friends here in town (who used to have regular appearances on this blog) is her cousin. But it was just really weird to see her on the site.

Luau Party Recap

Remember when I went on record to say "if you decide to skip this, you will miss one of the best parties of the year" in the last post? That wasn't a lie. It was a fantastic night. I rolled into the party a little later than I had planned, but ran into a ton of folks I hadn't seen in a while. Of course you had most of the usual suspects, but I honestly can't say who all was there because there were so many people that I heard were there and never ran into. I'd list the names of everyone who was there but that would take too damn long. So here are a few pics

Of course here we have Andy, Scottie Too Hottie,The Brother, AP & DP, and me. My camera isn't the best when used at night so obviously she almost cut off Andy.

Here I am with Amy W. I actually met her and her friend Kel Bel (aka Shoopster) the weekend before at Sabafest. But I was so damn drunk that there's really no telling what I said. I'm sure it sounded something like "hiyaniiicetamee-ya."

Here I am with Andy, Anna, and Laura. Laura liked my grass skirt so much that she wanted it in the pic. I have to say that I was surprised that no one was wearing more luau clothing. Everyone was dressing nicely. It's like no one wanted to really get into the party spirit until after they got there.

Here I am with Alaina. I have to say it was a great time and I'm glad I went. By the way, I got to meet Mr Roboto from Nashville. He used to do the Thursday Night Fever blog but stopped. I heard the reason, but it's not mine to say. Anyhoo, I'm about to go ride my bike for an hour. Yall have a good one and get some on ya tonight.

Phoenix Club Luau Party Update

Here is some info on tonight's kickass party straight from el presidente:

- There is a beer truck with 8 taps running. Two free bars, one with hurricanes provided by Owen Brennan's, and another with martini-type stuff provided by Swig. There is also a cash bar for a wider variety of beverages.

-Hog Wild BBQ will be providing food (not sure if it's for free or not, but you should eat before you get there anyway).

- Tickets will be available at the door. $30 a person.

I'm going to go on record and say that if you decide to skip this, you will miss one of the best parties of the year. I mean when's the next chance you have to see Raiford DJ?

Phoenix Club Luau Party Friday

Do you want to see the return of Hollywood Raiford? Come to the party Friday. If you're looking for tickets I have plenty. Email me:

memphisphilip AT hotmail DOT com

Hello, Is Anyone Out There?

I'm boring lately I know. I've been partying. I've been training. I've been working. I'm sure I can come up with a great post, but I'm just making this short. Here are the quick notes:

Tupelo's King of the Hill triathlon: came in dead last. No that's not a typo. Dead last. But I did finish even if I had to walk the final three miles of the run. What happened? I didn't drink enough water and my legs cramped up so bad I could barely walk to the next mile marker where there was a water station. After three cups of water and some serious stretching, I was able to start jogging again. But I was so completely exhausted by that point, I just walked most of the way. I'm definitely going to drink more water before my next triathlon.

Sabafest: Kicked ass. I got drunk. Then I got more drunk. Then it went downhill. If I pissed anyone off, sorry. Other notes on that night: Walrus rocked, food rocked, and people there rocked, but where was everyone? I knew of about 10 folks who said they were going and blew it off. Yall suck.

Couples shower notes: yall are getting old when you start shutting down the party at 10:30. Boo! Thank God, they pulled out the Jager and Gold. Too bad Butter Fingers Robbins broke a whole bottle of Jager.

Ok, I'm going to bed. I know there's more to talk about...wait! I bought a bike. It'll be here Thursday. After doing the King of the Hill's 22 mile bike ride on a mountain bike, I decided that I needed a real bike. So I bought a used one on ebay. I can't wait for it to get here. I acutally rode my dad's old bike tonight for 50 minutes just to stay in shape for it. I'm really ready to get on my own badass bike.

Ok, that's it for now. I'm going to watch the end of this show and go to bed. Night yall.