Friday Night gigs

I'm not going to this, but I promised someone I would post it. I recommend going to Beale Street for the 18th annual Memphis Zydeco Festival. I went to it a few years ago and had a friggin blast. Of course I'm probably going to save my second night of drinking during the week (what I'm doing for Lent) for Saturday.

Also if you know the distinguished Mr. Kalb, wish him a Happy Birthday this weekend.

HNT

Happy HNT yall. Beware of the booze.

The Next Day

Earlier today I told a few folks that it wouldn't be Ash Wednesday if you didn't feel like ass. So yeah, I had a few too many Fat Tuesday libations. Don't believe me? Check out this pic:

No I haven't shaven since last week. That was at the first bar I went to. I got Mardi Gras beads, a mask, and maraccas from everyone's favorite overtanned blonde bartender, Miss Myspace. Let's back up, I first had a big steak dinner with plenty of libations to match the entree. Absolutely delicious. After that I headed over to Newby's. Ran into Uncle Scottie Too Hottie and Dr. No Name. Stayed there while Freeworld jammed out a bunch of New Orleans rock. I loved the covers of the Meters' songs. After Uncle and Dr left, I had one or two more drinks, then headed home. On the way home I decided to stop and have a drink at Doc Watson's (the old Bottom Line). There I met several interesting characters:

Don - the wise learned construction worker who told me that finding a career was more important than your friends

Cyndi - the future cougar who seemed as dumb as a bag of rocks, wears hooker boots and jean skirts. Apparently her parents were confused as to where to place vowels when they named her.

Sylvia - the attorney who just got screwed over

I had way too much fun there. I saw all kinds of things happen (most of which I can't really post here). I will say that there was definitely something in the water there. Everybody was having too much fun. I hate to say it, but I am really starting to like going to that bar. After I left there, I came home. I tried to watch some of the shows I tivoed last night, but I hopped on the computer and didn't pay attention. Next thing I know I drunk posted on here and sent a few too many emails and messages out to people. Btw if you got one from me, sorry.

I got up this morning and left the house early. I didn't have a chance to read what I posted last night and was actually a little sketched out by what I might have said. So when I finally got back on here to check it, I realized it was nothing bad.

BUT I have been getting a lot of grief from my friends about the speedo thing. Let me say that it is not the banana hammock speedo that you are all thinking of. It's the speedo trunks. My old suits are all too big (they used to be too small) to swim laps. So I went to the Jaws Swim Shop on Poplar near Ronnie Grisanti's restaurant. These are the only kind of swimsuits they have. I bought a pair and love them. Plus I'm going to try and start swimming miles competitively (I just dropped my time from about 45 minutes per mile to 40 minutes). Don't worry, I'm not going to use them anywhere except to swim laps. And I'm sure as hell not going to take a damn picture of myself in them. However, I did take a pic just so you can see what the hell I'm talking about.

I feel that if I'm going to be serious about swimming laps to stay healthy and in shape, I need to use the proper equipment. I wouldn't go running in hiking boots, so this is the same thing. Anyhoo, enough of that.

In case you didn't know today is the start of Lent. Being a good Episcopalian, I will either give something up or do something. So here's what I'm doing/giving up:

- I'm going to swim at least 4 miles a week

- I'm only going to drink two nights total each week (including weekends) between Sunday and the following Saturday

Ok, I'm going to go and let you recover from reading this. Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

Ok FIRST!!!! Thank you to the grand-daughter of our neighbor who brought over girl-scout cookies to sell! Lord knows that J0-Bu loves his samoas!!! That really made my week.

However despite whatever EVIL that cookies bring onto me, I must mention that I bought a SPEEDO. Yeah, I put that in CAPS just to express what the F I bought. I bought a pair of speedos. Not your average, sterotypical, banana hammock speedos. But Speedos which grasp at the waist and cling just above the knee (past the thigh). The are the equivalent of "board shorts" that are tight throughout (the only negative is the lack of enhancement when I submerse myself in coldwater).

Anyhoo, it is fat tuesday. Let me rephrase that

IT'S FAT TUESDAY IN MEMPHIS, YA'LL!!!

I hope you celebrated well! I did a civic duty, swam a mile, went to Newby's (pic to be distributed later), and went to Doc Watson's. Let me restate:
BAD PIC from Newby's to be distributed ON THIS BLOG later!

Other than that, it was the usual FAT TUESDAY in Memphis. I highly recomment looking into the Phoenix Club's Mardi Gras Party on March 17. It is thrown by my friends:

THE BROWNS

Lord T & Eloise will be the musical entertainment, and I have been told that a mix that I do MAY be the music played before the main act. HOLY CRAP!!!

Last Night

Last night started off relaxed and cool. But by the end of the night, it had gone crazy. I promised the party involved that I wouldn't publish the details on here. Let me just say I have a friend out there who is lucky to be alive today. Enough of that though.

I saw that Britney Spears shaved her head. WTF!!! Bitch is CRAZY!

Anyhoo, I really don't have much to say since I promised I wouldn't go into last night's debacle.

Esta Noche

Tonight I met Scottie Too Hottie...WAIT! I mean, Uncle Scottie Too Hottie. Anyhoo, met the Uncle at the Young Ave Deli tonight as well as a few other folks. A Dr. "NoName" was there too. The downside was that it was team trivia night. We couldn't talk to the folks we met. Kinda sucked but we made do. Other than that I had a blast. Now I am back home watching the shows I missed:
My Name is Earl
The Office
Grey's Anatomy
Just finished the first two and am starting Grey's. Earl was funny as hell. The Office was beyond funny.

Ok, I just finished Grey's Anatomy. All I'm gonna say is WTF!!! Don't want to ruin it for anyone, but WTF!!!

Valentine's Recap

Well last night was a bust. The hype was...hype. There were cougars and FM Radio DJ's at the bar when we got there. The funny thing was that the cougars were chasing the FM Radio DJ. But HM and I had a good time. We hung out and after a while I started putting money in the jukebox. Too many dollars later we were listening to some great songs. The cougars tried to bait us into conversation. I wasn't distracted by their died blonde manes or plunging necklines. This evening I was not going to be their prey.
After we had our last round of drinks, we called it a night. On my way home I had a hankering for another beer. I stopped at Doc Watson's over on Kirby Pkwy (the old bottom line). After a few beers, I headed home and crashed on my bed.
Overall I had a great time. There weren't that many folks out. I guess most folks who aren't in couples would rather hide at home in pity parties than going out to celebrate another 364 days that aren't Valentine's Day.

Remember tonight

If you are single on Valentine's and want to go out, check out Newby's tonight.

"The Memphis Icebreakers" are playing Wednesday, Feb 14th...They are the ultimate band for Valentines!They play all the top Mo-town, love songs...$7 cover, plenty of tables for the show!Main Stage @ Newbys... Doors @ 8 pm... Show @ 9 pm...Let's Get It On, It's A Wonderful World, etc...A longtime favorite of the Memphis party scene, the legendary Memphis Icebreakers can play it all and keep a dance floor packed all night. Classic dance music from Motown, funky R&B and soul, beach music, golden oldies, even contemporary hits -- they're versatile, talented, and lots of fun.

Ask anyone in town: this band has played hundreds of wedding, corporate parties, charity galas, and club events.

It doesn't get much better than the Memphis Icebreakers!

By the way, I heard that the Phoenix Club's Mardi Gras Casino Party (March 17) will have Lord T & Eloise. Put that on your calendar. If you want tickets, let me know. I'll have them in the next week or so
memphisphilip (at) hotmail (dot) com

Other Blogs

Ok, this is going to be a blogger post. If you don't read other folks blogs, just stop yourself because you probably won't know what the hell is going on.

Now most of you know I try not to comment about other people's blogs here. That's their respective worlds and they have every right to say whatever they want. BUT sometimes I just can't help it.

I was skimming through my usual viewing of blogs and other websites when I landed on Downtown Paul's blog. For those of you who may not be familiar with his blog, he is a computer...guru, I guess, professionally. He lives downtown and is very adamant that there is nothing better than downtown Memphis in our surrounding area (that's his opinion and I'm cool with that...I have to disagree but whatever). He talks about different events going on downtown socially and the local bum scene. When he strays into politics, he takes a seriously left-minded view of things (again, his perogative). But I'm afraid he's come to one of the following problems:

1. he's run out of things to say
2. he's become too narcissitic

Not sure what I'm talking about? Well his post that I just read was about...his hair. With pictures. It was a five minute discussion about how his hair has been and where it's going in the future. I actually read the whole thing in hope that there was some kind of funny end to it all. No, there wasn't.

Now Paul has a tendency to make fun of Used-To-Be-Charming Kat (sorry I had to, that was too easy). She talks about her involvement in the Grand Krewe of Ptolemy (which I am also in) among other fun stuff she does (i.e. going out drinking with friends, pining over getting a boytoy, or going to the gym). She's really happy with her involvement in the Krewe and has made several new friends. Paul thinks she talks...no wait, obsesses about it all the time. She doesn't. Sometimes she talks about it a little too much, but she at least has a nice healthy balance with the other stuff going on. So I can't wait for what Kat has to say about the hair post. If you can't tell they have this love/hate relationship: they love to mess with each other because they hate each other.

So what do you think? Has Paul just run out of stuff to say or has he become too narcissitic? I think it's a combo of both. Let's sit back and watch.

Other than all that, I'm really bored and need to get a job. Have a good one.

Songs on the Playlist (just a little too 80s):
Flock of Seagulls - I Ran
Animotion - Obsession
Big Star - Thirteen
The Church - Under The Milky Way
Corey Hart - Sunglasses At Night
Cutting Crew - I Just Died In Your Arms

Weekend Recap, Single Man or Woman's Valentine's Plans

Friday night the brother scored two free tickets to the game between the Memphis Grizzlies and the Minnesota Timberwolves. We went. The Grizzlies won...and shut down Kevin Garnett. If you haven't been to a game in the Forum (which I hadn't until Friday night), GO. I don't care how bad we have been losing this season. It is actually a lot of fun. The barbeque nachos sucked though. But the beer was cold. Real cold.

So the big thing this week is...nothing. But if you are looking for something to do for Valentine's Day and you are single, check out Newby's. One of my friends told me that over the last few years, the underground name for the party is "Valentine's Vixens." Here the party details from the Newby's MySpace bulletin:

"The Memphis Icebreakers" are playing Wednesday, Feb 14th...They are the ultimate band for Valentines!They play all the top Mo-town, love songs...$7 cover, plenty of tables for the show!Main Stage @ Newbys... Doors @ 8 pm... Show @ 9 pm...Let's Get It On, It's A Wonderful World, etc...

A longtime favorite of the Memphis party scene, the legendary Memphis Icebreakers can play it all and keep a dance floor packed all night. Classic dance music from Motown, funky R&B and soul, beach music, golden oldies, even contemporary hits -- they're versatile, talented, and lots of fun.

Ask anyone in town: this band has played hundreds of wedding, corporate parties, charity galas, and club events.

It doesn't get much better than the Memphis Icebreakers!

This is true. I really enjoy the Icebreakers every time I see them. So if you aren't with anyone or you really don't feel comfortable going on a pressure date with someone you just started seeing but want to go out for Valentine's, check out Newby's. This is the only real single person's party Wednesday. I'm sure you will run into a stalker or two there (I know I probably will), but it should be fun nonetheless.

Esta Noche

Tonight, we are headed to the Grizzlies game. I predict a loss...but a great time. See ya bitches.

Anna Nicole Smith is Dead

That's right folks, the perpetual pill-popping plump skank has passed away. I only say that because I actually watched a few minutes of her show on the E network: the Anna Nicole Show. I have been around people who are stoned out of their minds and I have been around people who are sober and lucid. That chick was anything but lucid.

I hope that she finds the peace in death that she was looking for in life through mounds of pills.

OK, double post

Sorry to double up today, but I was just checking the site tracker and someone actually came to my page by googling "I need to find a dale jr garter for a wedding." That's above and beyond the call of complete white trash. As my buddy would say, that's RCWT. Guess what that stands for.

Whoa Wednesday

Has it really been 4 days since I last posted? Sorry. I haven't put the pics from the weekend on the computer just yet. So I won't recap Mendi's bday yet.

Thanks to Patrick, Holly, and Goose for hosting a great Super Bowl party. Unfortunately, I didn't realize a lot of folks were going to bring their kids to the party. I really wish someone would hold the parent(s) responsible every time a child bangs on a drum for 20 minutes. I was in another room and it got real old. We were sitting with a woman and her husband. She said "hey honey, you know how we've been talking about maybe having a kid? I think I've just been cured of that desire."

Anyhoo, the wings kicked butt as usual. Someone brought ribs too. So by the time the fourth quarter started I was fighting to stay awake (curse the 'itis').

Anyone else think the commercials sucked in general? I did. There were a few exceptions of course. These are the ones I thought were funny:
Sierra Mist Beard/Combover
Blockbuster Online Mouse
Bud Light Slap
Carlos Mencia's Bud Light Immigrant Commercial
Hitchhiker with Bud Light
Bud Light Auctioneer Wedding
Emerald Nuts Robert Goulet (definitely top three if not the best one)
Doritos Crash/Clumsy people
Etrade Bank Robbery
Etrade One Finger (only because the guy flips someone off at the end)

If you want to view these or the others from the game, check out at Break.com on their Superbowl commercials.

Anyhoo, I had a great time Sunday as always. I'm outta here. See some of you at the Ptolemy New Member Party tonight.

Have a great one and don't get none on ya.

Friday Night Recap

Oh wow. Last night the claws were out. I heard more trash talking than I have in a long time. I heard new nicknames that will never be used again or identified:

Clinger

Awkward Lingerer

Inappropriate Side Hugger

Anywho, enough of the negativity. I met Les, Kenny, Mallory, and Lana at El Porton for dinner. Today (Saturday) is the Shady Hasbeen's bday. The wait staff were very appropriate in acknowledging this fact:

After all that hoopla I headed to the Brookhaven to meet up with David, Autumn, Tackleberry, Mikaholic, some random chick, and Colleen. Colleen's "parents" ended up showing up after a while. Here are a few pics:

We had a good time. I can say that I was not hungover this morning...unlike some folks. Tonight I'm headed downtown for Mendi's bday. There's no telling what's going to happen.

Songs on the Ipod:

The Grateful Dead - Box of Rain

GD - Friend of the Devil

GD - Sugar Magnolia

GD - Operator

GD - Candyman

GD - Ripple

GD - Brokedown Palace

It Is On!

We are definitely on for Mini-her's bday tomorrow night. Jobu is heading downtown. I feel a lot of good ol' fashioned debauchery in the future. I need it. I've been cooped up too damn long in G'town. I'm definitely going to have fun. I'll do my best to behave within moderation. I'm not promising anything extrordinary, but I will put up a recap Sunday or Monday. Here's a glimpse from the last bday festivities I had with Miniher (mine in October):

p.s. I'm also going out tonight with the Shady Hasbeen, Kenny, and Mallory ("Hey Valerie"). This is weird. Out of nowhere, I'm going out three nights this weekend.

I'm getting that itch...

It's been too damn long since I went out and partied like a rock star. I think that Mini-her's birthday party continues this Saturday night. I'm not sure what the details are, yet. But I owe her at least two shots of Patron. Hopefully I'll make it out there. No matter what, I'm definitely doing the cab thing Saturday night.

Utter Stupidity "I Have A Draem"

I honestly believe that Dr. Martin Luther King is rolling over in his grave. Why? Well part of the push in the Civil Rights Movement was for equality across all lines of society. That way we would all have an equal chance for education. But if he were able to see this pic, he would weep. Utter stupidity.

And I know this is a legit pic because I heard about it on the radio and other places before the pic was emailed to me. I hope these folks have been sterilized so they can't reproduce. Their stupidity doesn't need to go to another generation. How can you screw up the word dream?

I'm actually surprised these aren't some of the Memphis indigenous population. But they're actually from Corpus Christi, TX. I guess even the screwups are bigger in Texas.

Upcoming Concert Calendar

Here are the upcoming concerts in Memphis and the surrounding area worth noting (in my opinion).

Thursday 2/1/07 Garrison Starr @ The Hi Tone Cafe
Thursday 2/1/07 Bela Fleck & The Flecktones @ The Orpheum Theatre (hippie/folkie jam band)

Friday 2/2/07 John Mayer @ Fedex Forum
Friday 2/2/07 Better Than Ezra @ Horseshoe Casino in Tunica/Robinsonville, MS (always a great show)
Friday 2/2/07 Lucero @ Proud Larry's in Oxford, MS (definitely a great place to catch a show no matter who it is)

Sat 2/3/07 Joan Jett & the Blackhearts @ Horseshoe Casino in Tunica/Robinsonville, MS ("I Hate Myself For Loving You")
Sat 2/3/07 Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band @ The Pyramid (Bob Seger rocks. This is the last show in the Pyramid ever...or so they claim)

Wed 2/7/07 The North Mississippi Allstars @ Proud Larry's in Oxford, MS (this will be a packed house)

Friday 2/9/07 Willie Nelson @ Grand Casino Tunica in Tunica, MS
That bears repeating:
WILLIE NELSON IS COMING TO TOWN!!!

Tue 2/13/07 Yonder Mountain String Band @ The Library in Oxford, MS (this will be a badass show!)
Tue 2/13/07 The Lemonheads @ The Young Ave Deli (early 90s band who had the hit song "Into Your Arms")

Thur 2/15/07 Cowboy Mouth @ Horseshoe Casino & Hotel in Tunica/Robinsonville, MS (always a great show. I probably won't make it because I don't need to go to a Casino when I don't have a job...yet)

Wed 2/21/07 The North Mississippi Allstars @ Proud Larry's in Oxford, MS (it's like deja vue)

Sat 2/24/07 The Wiggles @ FedEx Forum (just kidding. This is an actual show according to Pollstar.com, but I thought I'd put it up here as a joke)

Sat 3/3/07 Kansas @ Sam's Town Casino in Tunica/Robinsonville, MS (I won't make it...sorry. There's a rule: don't walk down streets named after states or go see bands named after cities or states...see Boston and Kansas).

Sun 3/4/07 Gin Blossoms @ Horseshoe Casino in Tunica/Robinsonville, MS (pop/rock band from early 90s)

Thur 3/15/07 The Dave Matthews Tribute Band @ Newby's (take a hippie chick as your date, buy her a few Rockstars, let her dance, and let the magic begin!)
Thur 3/15/07 The North Mississippi Allstars @ Proud Larry's in Oxford, MS (again?)

Fri 3/15/07 Blue Man Group @ Desoto Civic Center in Southaven, MS (this will be a great show...other than the fact that it's at the Desoto Civic Center)


That's all for now. Yeah I know. Two posts in one day. Who'da thunk it?

American Idol

I'm going to just say it. I don't like American Idol. I watched the first episode of the first season. A few weeks after that some friends tried to make me watch it. I made it through five minutes. It was at that moment I lost all plausible interest in American Idol. Since then I've had to hear about how talented all the contestants were and how wonderful the show is. Yada yada yada.

The show sucks. It's full of people who although they can sing, they don't write their own music. It's nothing more than over-blown karaoke. It is more a marketing machine to make money off the idiots who'll spend the $2 per text on thousands of votes based (usually) not on talent but on the demographic of their favorite contestant ("she's from the Midwest, just like me! I'll vote for her!").

Frankly it is the cultural dumbing-down of America. There are talented people in bands traveling across the country and starving trying to get people to hear their music, yet these no-talent ass-clowns get to sing and dance. Yes, I'll admit that the eventual winners and runners-up are talented singers. But I still feel (in my opinion) that they aren't as good as some of the starving artists out there who actually have something to say (and can read, Fantasia or whatever your name is).

Anywho, I just felt like I needed to share that with you.