Nashvegas Rocked!

So I didn't leave until much later than I wanted to yesterday. I got into Nashville (actually Franklin, TN) around 7:45. I called Sambo and we met for drinks at this bar/grille right next to my hotel. It's called Jonathan's Grille. Pretty nice place other than the fact that the ratio wasn't that great. But their two-for-one specials start at 10. That's right two-for-one drinks specials START at 10. Pretty damn cool.

Here are a few of the things that were on discussion:
Key West Cougars
The Hot Tub trick
The Three Second Rule
Are they paramedics or Best Buy employees?
Smuggling Cuban Cigars
Bribing Venezulans with Coca-Cola
Smuggling wheels of gouda cheese from the carribean
Where do waitresses get gaudy watches? Answer: Target

After way too many drinks, I went back to my hotel and crashed. I had to be up and checked out by 8 am for the next part of my interview. When I walked out of the room, my eyes were just a little bloodshot. Anywho, things went very well. I'm about to head to Arkansas to hunt for the last weekend of duck season.

I hope yall have a great weekend. Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

Traveling the Ol' Music Highway / CHEAP GAS

I'm headed to Nashvegas tonight for the next part of a job interview. Unfortunately I won't be able to go out boozing it. But hopefully I can catch some pics of cougars in the Nashville wild.

Speaking of job interviews, I'm noticing more and more men of a certain demographic wearing suits that look like they took the fabric from either the drapes or an old couch. What's up with that? And why they hell do you need 42 buttons on a jacket?

Oh yeah! I have found the cheapest gas in Memphis. That's right, THE CHEAPEST GAS IN MEMPHIS. Go to the station at Getwell and Kimball (north of I-240). It was $1.819 per gallon the other day. The previous night it was $1.959 per gallon at the Flying J in West Memphis. Today I got gas at the Circle K on Germantown Parkway just North of the Super Wal-Mart for $1.919 per gallon. Hope that helps.

On The Road Again

Do you remember those late nights in college where you dropped your plans to help out a friend? I just had a relapse tonight. I went to a job interview dinner tonight. Afterwards I had a voicemail from an old buddy from college. He was headed to the grand oasis in north Mississippi that we call the casinos of Tunica. Well he was pulled over and had his car impounded outside of Memphis. He had tried to reach everyone he could. I was the first person to call him back and was actually able to make it. We got the car out of the impound and got the hell out of dodge as quickly as possible. I'm not going into too many details to protect his identity from his family and friends. Needless to say that we are now even for something that happened a long time ago (which I won't talk about). But the problem is I am now wired from the Red Bull I drank to stay awake. It didn't kick in until I was about 40 miles from Memphis on the way back. So I get to post this and watch a little Tivo until I'm tired.

But it's kind of a weird thing when I think about it: I spent the first part of the night trying to convince this potential employer what a valued employee I will be and yada yada. I spent the second part of my night dropping everything and going to bail a college buddy out of a legal bind. But the way I look at it, someday I'll be in a bind and will need someone to help me. I don't plan on driving with a suspended license or anything, but you never know what kind of trouble you might get into.

Anywho I put over 200 miles on my truck today and I feel pretty damn good. Sorry for the rambling.

Oh yeah, say a prayer for Mr. Davis. I'm not going into details because it's not my place, but just ask God for a little help sent his way.

Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

Weekend Recap

So this weekend, I went to duck camp. Left town after swimming laps at the downtown YMCA. It's actually a nice facility. Better than I thought it would be. Anywho, I rolled into town and unloaded the truck. "Crap Game" had a few of his friends from the Gulf Coast in town to hunt for the weekend. I opened a beer and was walking to the fire place when one of them handed me a raw oyster with cocktail sauce (ketchup & horseradish) on a saltine. Then they had boiled shrimp. That started the roller coaster of amazing courses of food. After that we had, oysters rockefeller followed by fresh jambalaya.

A few of the guys that were in town were from Iowa and Wisconsin. They had never had jambalaya before. They loved it. Actually they had never had Cajun andouille sausage either. They were blown away by it. We stayed up a little while and then crashed a little after 10. We got up and headed to the duck blind. We got 4 ducks total (two of which were mine from walking along the levee). We headed back to the duck house and had lunch. I took a nap and then woke up a few hours later.

Dinner Saturday night was pork chops and bratwurst with an oyster stew that one of the Gulf Coast guys made. I grilled them all and did a great job. We watched Open Range and Jeremiah Johnson on TV.

After that I went back to bed after 10. This morning I woke up at 5:30 and decided not to go hunting after the poor performance from the previous day (it had rained over an inch and the roads were already flooded). After I finally got out of bed we loaded up and headed back to Memphis.

That was my weekend. It was simple, but I ate well and had a great time. And it was very relaxing. That's all you really need to ask for sometimes.

This week I have several interviews and will head into Arkansas Friday for the last weekend of duck season. After duck season is over and I will be back on the town.

How was your weekend? I hope you had a good one.

'Sup?

Wow that is a really crappy title. Whatever. It's cold and my brain isn't working that well.

So what have I been up to since my last post? Well we were going to head into the wild frontier...of Northwest Arkansas to go duck hunting Friday night to hunt Saturday morning and the next two days. We ended up leaving Saturday instead of Friday night. We never went to the blind. We stayed at the Duck House the whole time. Why? Well when there is a ridiculous front coming through and it's raining all the time with flash floods there are a few good reasons not to head out:
1. The ducks don't like to fly in the rain
2. Flash floods in the Arkansas Delta equal bad news for both vehicles and those inside
So we had a few great meals and watched a bunch of great football games. We drove home Monday and I then accomplished nothing.

Today I was going to head back to hunt with Dad. But one of the guys we hunt with was trying to drive his F150 to hunt this morning. The fields and dirt roads have flooded so much that the brush on the side of the road is under water in certain points. At one of those points he accidentally drove into the ditch because he could no longer see where the road ended and the ditch began. He's fine, but his truck is totalled. He'll probably have to sell it (once you get flood water inside the car you better sell it, because you can never get the smell out). So Dad made a wise decision to call off the hunting...even though tomorrow will be a perfect day:
Clear skies
Low of 22
High of 36
New ducks in the area because of the freeze up North

I just hope the floods have begun to recede by this weekend so we can hunt. There are only two weekends left in the season. Then it's back to partying in Memphis every weekend. Actually, it's back to trying to find a job. I've got a few great prospects (that don't deal with crackhouses...see last post), I'd just like to finish this so I can really start to work full time again.

Anywho that's all I've got. I did swim again today, but only a half mile. I did almost 4 miles total last week (just 5 laps shy, didn't realize it until this week). I feel great and I'm almost down to 190 lbs. I just have to keep plugging away. I may actually get down to 175 lbs. I'm not going to try to, but if I do, I'll be happy...and I'll have to start buying a bunch of new clothes.

Ok this is getting boring. I'm going to stop typing and go to bed. Yall have a great day.

Songs on the Playlist:
Huey Lewis and the News - Heart & Soul
Mr. Mister - Broken Wings
Pink Floyd - On The Run (DSOTM album)
The Rolling Stones - Gimme Shelter
The Rolling Stones - You've Got the Silver
Al Green - Tired of Being Alone

"Trap Door House"

So I've been slacking on the blogging front lately. But I've been going on a lot of job interviews in the last two weeks, swimming a lot of laps (a mile on three separate days this week), and haven't been out partying much. Now I'm going to share an experience from last week that took place on a job interview. Of course I'm not going to name the company or exactly what they do. Here's the tale:

Part of the job interview process for this particular company involved going along with one of the employees on the day to day task. The employee visits residential areas and goes house to house. That's all I'll say about the job itself. Let's just say the experience quickly went downhill as we headed to the area for the day. We left East Memphis on I-240. We got to Malfunction Junction and took Midtown I-240. It was at this point the interviewer asked me if I could define "demographics." Apparently you can be considered for this job and be a moron at the same time.

We eventually took the Jackson Ave exit. Now for those of you who are well versed in the Memphis layout, you don't really go to the Jackson Ave exit that often unless you are visiting a few select places. Most other areas that you go to are...well unsafe. We headed down Jackson Ave and passed Alex's Tavern. We then passed Rhodes College. We turned left onto some random road and drove past Springdale Elementary. It was at this point I really became nervous. Most white people don't go into the residential areas around there while wearing suits. I started doing a mental inventory of everything in my pockets and wallet just so I'd know what I was going to lose in the inevitable mugging. The interviewer turned down one residential street and then another residential street. All of a sudden we stopped and it was time to get out and walk the street visiting all these houses.

The first house we went to had these two guys living in it. Let me describe them. They were in their early 20s. That's not the interesting part about them though. They had very dilated pupils and bloodshot eyes. They were giggling at everything that was said. Hmm...I think they were stoned...at 1PM. They definitely looked like winners.

We went to a few more houses. After we finished with the folks at the last house we were about to walk back to the car when the lady gives us a warning: "If yall go to anymore houses on this street, be sure not to knock on the 'trap door house' over there." Now I'm not well versed in the etiquette of the ghetto or the most uptodate slang from North Memphis, but I know a 'trap door house' can't be a good thing. I said "thanks" and started walking towards the car. Unfortunately the interviewer didn't just take the warning to heart and asked the question all of you are thinking:

"What's a trap door house?"

I knew what one was when I looked at it. The lady replied "the crack house right over there." I knew it was it was a crack house. Here's a great description of it: Plywood covering everying window and a rap blasting car with spinners out front every other minute. Random guys walking in and out all the time.

Needless to say I stopped the interview when we got back to the office. I thanked them for the opportunity, but told them I could not consider any job that required me to knock on a crack house door. Of course I did this in a very professional manner. On the post-interview questionaire, there was a question that asked what was the worst part of the interview. I answered "being warned not to visit a crack house by a customer."

(side note: whenever you go on a job interview and another male candidate is wearing black pants, a shortsleeve black shirt, a black tie, and an all black fedora hat try not to laugh)

NYE recap

So before we headed up to Newby's for NYE a bunch of us met at Hugh's house for dinner...and cigars by the fire outside. Here's the brother with a cigar.Some of the ladies had trouble navigating the stairs after several cocktails. I won't identify who though.Remember kids, nosebleeds are serious. Apparently the blood ends up in very random places.After a fantastic dinner, we walked through the cold to Newby's to catch Walrus. Here's a shot of the band.

The brother and I met these two random girls. I'm not sure who they were. I think their names were Melissa and Jessica, but maybe I've been listening to the Allman Brothers too much.

Here is another pic of Walrus.

Here is a pic of Dan the drummer getting out from behind the drums to sing The Cult's "She Sells Sanctuary."

Here are pics of folks in the crowd dancing. This one we'll call "Fat Guy in a Little Coat."

Here is a happy couple enjoying the show.
Here's a pic of Shannon with Patrick after the show.

Here are a few more pics.

Overall it was a great time. I saw a ton of folks I hadn't seen in a while. Got to party with a few good friends. Basically, it didn't suck. Oh yeah, best part of all: this NYE wasn't a let down. Most usually are (they tend to be overhyped).

I hope you had a great NYE with whatever you did. Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

Pics from Greenwood, MS

Last week we went to Greenwood, MS, for the Southern Debutante Assembly's annual Black and Gold Ball (i.e. a Debutante party). Here are pics from the party. Needless to say, I had fun.


Here is a pic of my sister with Scales and Maggie.Here I am with PE and Maggie.Here's Lil' George with the sister.Here I am with Lil' George.Here's a pic of the brother and the sister.

Happy New Year, yall

Ok, I had a blast last night at Newby's. I need to upload my pics to the computer. But I'll get to that later. I have to get packed to go hunting tomorrow. I hope you had a great NYE wherever you were. So here are my resolutions for the New Year:

1. Get a job. No, wait. Let's make that a great job.

2. Save more than enough money to have a down payment on a house.

3. Pay off existing debt (which really isn't that much and makes this very possible).

4. Get weight below 185 and maintain that level for the rest of the year.

I don't know about you, but I think those are manageable.

NYE plans

R.I.P. Former President Gerald Ford

I know he just died and this is probably in bad taste. So I'm sure you'll enjoy it. But I think it is funnier than any of the Chevy Chase videos where he plays Gerald Ford falling down. Here is the description from GOOGLE video: 1996 episode of SNL featuring Dana Carvey as Tom Brokaw, announcing the various ways Gerald Ford could die.

R.I.P. James Brown

Ok I keep trying to post this but I can't. YouTube won't let me copy the whole embedded text to put it on here. So...go to this site. It is my tribute to the late, great James Brown.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ly_CGin6QS8

Merry Christmas, Yall

I'm going to do a few quick posts I had meant to do in this one quick one. It's 1:30 AM on Dec 25. So Merry Christmas.

First, I'd like to give a HUGE pat on the back to Home Depot and Radioshack. I was at both within the last week and the employees wished me a Merry Christmas. Everywhere else it's the politically correct "Happy Holidays." Sorry, but I hate that. I know there are other people out there who celebrate different holidays this time of year, but if you are Christmas shopping, you want to hear "Merry Christmas" instead of the proverbial 'Happy whatever ethnic/religious event you may/may not celebrate this time of year.'

During this time of year, there are tons of things that really make me happy and put me in the Christmas mood. Here's a quick list of a few great items:
- National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (btw I went to trivia night with Angie and a bunch of her friends Thursday night. None of them knew the name of Cousin Eddie's dog in this film. How is that possible?)
- Surprising friends with badass gifts they didn't expect. I didn't say expensive gifts, but gifts that show you actually thought about them and what they'd like
- Twenty-four hours of A Christmas Story on TBS

I remember being a child and watching Christmas movies like White Christmas, Miracle on 34th Street, and It's a Wonderful Life. Those are great, but when I think of Christmas only two movies come to mind (yea, I'm saying them again): Christmas Vacation and A Christmas Story. Nothing beats them. Just my opinion.

It's amazing how much things about Christmas can change and no one ever notices. I had my Ipod on random Xmas songs the other day and it landed on 'Twas the Night Before Christmas as said by Louis Armstrong. I actually listened to the whole thing. It was great. But I heard something I didn't remember until I thought about it. Did you know that in the poem, Santa is smoking a pipe? I remember seeing all the pics of Santa as a child smoking a pipe. Nowadays, you don't. Kinda weird how it changed. I don't know which one I prefer though.

Anyway, it's getting late and I need to go to bed because I'm sure my sister will bang on my door at 5:30 to wake me up so we can go open presents. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas.

In the words of Clark W. Griswald: "Hallelujah! Holy Shit! Where's the Tylenol?"

Songs on the Playlist:
Otis Redding - Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay
The Clash - Train In Vain (Stand By Me)
The Allman Brothers Band - Blue Sky
The Beatles - Norwegian Wood
The Allman Brothers Band - Melissa
Big Head Todd & The Monsters - Broken Hearted Saviour

HNT - Possession

Ok, I haven't done an HNT post in a long ass time, but I'm trying to be more proactive in blogging. Here's a pic of me possessed by the ever powerful Red Bull & Vodka at 2 in the morning.

Happy HNT yall

Personal Milestone

Quick post.

I swam a mile non-stop tonight (35 laps). I've never swam that far so I'm bragging. That's right A MILE!!!

I started out just going to swim 20 laps with the American Crawl (on stomach, what most folks consider swimming laps). I did my 20 laps and started doing half lap resting back stroke/half lap crawl for 5 laps. Then I realized that if I did about another 3 or so, that would be a 3/4 mile. I've never done that much without stopping. So I did it. Then I realized that I was about 9 laps from actually doing a whole mile, so I went for it. I kept going and going. I felt great. On the last lap, my legs started cramping a little, but I pushed on and finished. I couldn't believe it. I am really proud of myself.

Don't worry, I'm not going to turn this into a blog about going to the gym. This is just a huge milestone and I thought I'd share it. (BTW since the spring, I have dropped from around 225 to 195 pounds)

Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

Great Quote from Family Guy

My Tivo recorded Sunday's new episode of Family Guy ("Barely Legal"). There was a unbelievable quote that I'm going to post here. I couldn't stop laughing the first time I heard it. Here's the setup:

Meg (the daughter/fugly social outcast) guilt trips Brian the family dog (who can speak) to be her date to the high school dance [suspend your disbelief please and just go with it]. Brian really doesn't want to be there so he's chugging from a flask the whole dance. They're sitting to the side having a coversation when Connie DiMeco (Miss Popular at the school) comes over...

Connie - You know, Meg, there's no dogs allowed here so you're gonna have to leave. But Brian can stay. (she and her friends laugh)
Brian - You know, Connie, I think I have a theory about why you're such a bitch.
Connie - Excuse me?
Meg - Brian, let's just go.
Brian - No, no, no, no, no! Hang on. Hang on, Meg. You see, Connie, you're popular because you developed early and started putting out when you were twelve. But now you can't stand to look at yourself in the mirror, because all you see is a whore. So you pick on Meg to avoid the inevitable realization that once your body's used up by age nineteen, you're going to be a worn out, chalky-skinned, burlap sack that even your step-dad won't want. How's that? Am I in the ballpark?

Now how funny is that? I had to pause it because I couldn't stop laughing. Have a good one.

Songs on the Playlist:
Guns N' Roses - Nightrain
Judas Priest - You've Got Another Thing Coming
Motley Crue - Dr. Feelgood
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Suck My Kiss

Tip # 165 for the Single Man to Survive the Holidays

If you the single man are looking for a way to survive the holidays, then I have a great idea for you.

When you go to that one "child friendly" Christmas party, be sure to embrace the "child friendly" aspect. Bring cookies or sweets. You know what, bring as many sugar-filled treats as you can buy. Two bags of cookies and a bunch of other sweets (nothing too messy, you don't want little hands getting melted chocolate all over the host/hostess's wall; that would be rude).

When you get to the party, wait until it is in full swing before you get started. How do you know when it is in full swing? The parents quit paying attention to their kids and they let them run wild. The mom's are gossipping and comparing who has the worst cellulite/fat ass problem this year (hint: it's all of them). The dads are hanging out, talking about sports, sipping beer, and chuggin whiskey when the wife isn't looking. The only time they look to see where their kids are is if they hear something shatter. This usually drives you, the single guy, crazy because you become Uncle Jungle Gym. Not this year. This year you are loaded up with plenty of sweets.

Start simple. Open a bag of cookies and start pushing them like a drug dealer in a city school. After the first box of cookies is gone, open the next. Keep going until either you run out of sweets or the parents catch onto your little game. Now don't stop just because one set of parents tells their kids to stop eating the sweets you have. That doesn't mean that the rest of the parents have a clue about what's going on. The object is to get these kids on such a sugar high that the folks can't control them for the rest of the day or they run like crazy until it's time to go home and they pass out in the car. Either way they start going nuts and the parents have to deal with it.

Now sit back and enjoy the chaos you created. It's a great little Christmas present to yourself. Plus you won't have to be Uncle "Hey watch little Timmy for just a minute" anymore.

Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

Quick Weekend Recap

I'm just going to make this quick. I have a better post I want to do, but I need to get this out there first.

Saturday night the brother and I went to Walker & Jennie's Xmas party. We had a blast. As always they put on a very nice party (now, if I could only find a way to convince them to invite more hot, single girls it would be perfect. hehe)
We stayed there for about two hours then we headed downtown to the Xmas party thrown by "THE GIRLS" at Ernestine & Hazels. I still don't know who "THE GIRLS" are, but this is the third year I've been. So thank you, whoever you are. I met up with Scottie Too Hottie, Dr. J, and Cousin Robinson. We hung out a while and had soul burgers and beer. After a while the crowd started to die down so we headed out. S2H, the brother and I went to Newby's. There was a jam band playing (Yamagata, I think), but the crowd was kinda dead. So we had a drink and then headed to the Blue Monkey. Sure enough I get there and run into folks I haven't seen since August. And they were old friends from college. Really random, but pretty cool.

After a while the brother and I headed home. Normally I wouldn't talk about the trip home, but I would like to make one statement:
To the crackhead sistah in the black Maxima who was swerving all over the Nonconnah Pkwy and almost hit my truck at 3 in the morning, do us all a favor and F off.

Other than that incident, I had a blast Saturday night. It was good to see everyone.

Have a good one and don't get none on you.

Recap and Look Ahead

Ok kids, last night was the Ptolemy Xmas party. There were a surprising amount of new members. Apparently the Krewe has been kicking ass and taking names. We have a bunch of new folks (might I mention some new hotties, finally). I had a great time, but I showed up way too late so I was a few drinks behind everyone. I didn't play catch-up though, and that turned out to be the best thing. Everyone was hammered and saying really stupid shit. I, however, got to listen to what they were saying. And yes, some of you are really stupid when you are drunk. Some of you are just really boring. And some of you need to watch your boobs, they tend to sneak peeks out at the party (btw, I'm not ever going to say who, but one lady's loose-fitting top should have been tightened).

Tomorrow (Saturday) I am going to rake leaves because the wind might finally be gone and the temps may rise. Well at least that's what I'm hoping.

Saturday night I am going to two Xmas parties. One is in Midtown and the other is downtown. I'm not going to say who is hosting them because that would just be rude to the hosts. You'll get recaps of course...if my effing camera starts working.

Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

Feel Good Moment of the Week

This morning I was at the Collierville YMCA (aka the Cowtown Y) swimming laps. I got out and went to the sauna to rest. I noticed that there was an old couple in the pool. They appeared to be in their 70s or 80s. The wife was unable to get in and out of the pool via the stairs obviously due to her limited walking ability. There is a machine that the Y has that will lower people into and raise them from the pool. The husband stood their with the lifeguard as the machine raised his wife out of the pool. The three of them were laughing and carrying on what seemed like a nice conversation. When the wife got out of the pool, the husband brought her walker to her. It was one of those dual walkers where you can walk and use hand brakes or just sit in it. Well, after she sat down, she reached over and grabbed her husband's hand. She squeezed it and said "thank you" to him. He smiled and had that glint in his eye where you know that they've been together for a long time and she still looks as beautiful to him today as she did when they met years ago. Then he went to the men's locker room and she went to the women's. I never saw them again and doubt if I will see them again. But for that one moment, they brightened my day.

Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

Songs on the Playlist:
The Church - Under the Milky Way
Chris Isaak - Lady In Red
Billy Squier - My Kinda Lover
Gary Numan - Cars
The Tubes - She's A Beauty
Eddie Money - Shakin'
Simple Minds - Don't You Forget About Me