Spilly & Jules & Lotsa Jagerbombs

Wow, this was a rough weekend. It became official that I was losing my job on Friday morning (actually everyone lost their job because the company is closing). So I spent the rest of the day closing things down and what not. Around 2PM I headed to the Memphis International Airport near beautiful, crime free Airways Blvd. I picked up Spilly and dropped him off at my house. Spilly is an old fraternity brother from San Antonio, TX. Obviously it’s not hard to figure out how he got his nickname.
By the way, I would hate to forget this: on the way back to my house we saw a crack whore on Prescott and a pimp on Highland. Spilly couldn’t believe that he’d been back in Memphis less than 30 minutes and had already seen both. I told him that it was a little weird to see both, but it was still pretty funny.
I had to head back to the office to finish a few things so I showed him how to work the TV and where the beer fridge was. After work was over, I raced home. We both changed for dinner and headed to the Butcher Shop to meet Jules and two of her friends. Jules was also at Ole Miss with us. She and Spilly were the best of friends back in college but haven’t seen each other since graduation. He went back to Texas, and she went back to Florida. Jules brought her friend Skooch and his girlfriend. Skooch used to work at Rebel Radio with her. We had a nice dinner. My steak was a little too bloody, but still pretty damn good. They say Medium Rare when I would say Rare.
After dinner Skooch and his girlfriend had to jet home. Jules road with us back to my house. We called a cab and picked up HM. Check out this pic of the cab:
Yeah he has plastic hubcaps that look like rims. They are a lot shinier in real life than they turned out in the pic. Only in Memphis right? Well, maybe Atlanta too.
The four of us headed to Pat O’Briens on Beale St. As soon as we got there things went downhill: we had a round of Jagerbombs. For those of you who are uninitiated into…well the world we live in, a Jagerbomb is a combination of Jagermeister and Red Bull. It is supposed to be done as a glass of Red Bull with a shot of Jagermeister dropped in it. Some places are too cheap and just pour a shot of Jagermeister into a cup of Red Bull. What happens when you take one of these? Well that’s an easy answer: it leads to you taking another…and another…and another…and so on.
After a round of Jagerbombs, we headed out to the patio bar. We grabbed a table near the bar. We took the opportunity to take a few pics.
Here I am with Spilly.Here's Spilly and Jules.Here's where they are acting more like themselves.We met some Georgia fans who were waiting for drinks next to us. They told us they’d never been to Ole Miss before and we told them they could come back anytime. So they bought us a round of Jagerbombs. Jules was so proud of her retro-80s belt that she had to show them. One of the guys took her over to show the guys at their table, which turned out to be right next to ours.

Spilly got a call from Boeckman, another fraternity brother. He, Nolan, and Megan were on their way to meet us up there. Here’s a pic with Boeckman, Spilly, and me:

After a while we were all tired of the scene at Pat O’s. We decided to start heading east. We were walking to get a cab when Nolan said we could all fit in his Colorado. So we made the hike from Beale to Peabody Place parking garage. We didn’t take the stairs by the Flying Saucer; we took walked up the vehicle entrance and went to the stairs. We were having a regular discussion on the way up. Maybe our voices were a little magnified by the mixture of concrete around us and alcohol inside us, but all of a sudden this glorified rent-a-cop walks out of the office in the corner opposite the stairs entrance. She points at Jules and says “Ma’am, you are going to have to be quiet in here. You are way too loud.” I thought ‘lady, you have no idea what you just did.’
Jules turns to her and says “excuse me? Are you really trying to be a bitch? Because you are succeeding…” or something like that. I don’t remember all that was said because I was laughing so damn hard. I do know that Jules told her she needed to try to arrest her. The rent-a-cop just stood their stunned as we walked to the stairwell. No one really knew exactly what the hell we did wrong. I still don’t.
We quickly walked up the stairs and jumped in Nolan’s Chevy Colorado. If you’ve never been in one, it’s quite comfortable and roomy. Well, it is until you put seven drunks in there. We took off and all Jules would say over and over was she wanted to go dancing. Now this was between 11 and 12. Nolan takes off for Raiford’s. I immediately started explaining that it was too early for Raiford’s by about two hours. We pulled up and there were no cars outside. None. Zero. Zip. I convinced Jules that we could go to the Blue Monkey. They always have a great band on the weekends, and you can usually dance there. Boy, was I wrong. There were maybe 30 people in there. Of that 30, 10 were working there and 7 were our group. Yeah, dead does not describe it. So we had a few rounds of Jagerbombs and I had a few pints of Guinness. Then the camera came back out.

After a few minutes, Jules realized that there wasn’t a band and she couldn’t dance to the music. So we left and went to Newby’s. As we walked in the Friday night band stopped for a set break. So we kept drinking and partying. It’s at this point in the evening that things begin to get hazy. I did get a few pics at Newby’s though.
Here's Jules showing Spilly a little affection.Here's Jules showing me my early birthday presents.The last thing I remember was calling for a ride home about 2:30. Spilly, Nolan, and Boeckman had headed to Platinum. Jules and HM were hanging out with some other folks we knew. I remember being picked up by my ride outside Newby’s and that’s it. But I definitely remember the next morning. I woke up drunk around 8:30. I stumbled out of my room to find Spilly passed out on the couch. It turns out that he had been driven to my house by Nolan after their escapades at Platinum. Spilly had no idea how to even find my house or what area of town I lived in. But he did know how to get there from Newby’s somehow. Apparently I had left the front door unlocked for him.
About the time we were trying to remember anything from the night before, the roommate came out of his room. I introduced them and they started talking about both Texas and golf. The roommate’s friend stumbled out of the guest bedroom and dropped this bomb on us:
dude – “Symon, I thought you didn’t have any pets?”
Symon – “I don’t.”
dude – “Well a cat shit in my mouth last night.”
That was not the best line of the morning. I heard many more. I’m going to give them to you out of context to protect the identities of those involved (in a few cases):

Guy to girl: “Where did you come from?”

Girl to guy: “You are a lucky guy. Do you know that? You were sex by convenience.”

Guy to girl and guy: “Is this your gum?”

Me: “Best detox is retox! Where’s the beer? Who’s drinking?” In my own defense, I woke up a little drunk and was starting to slide into a wicked hangover. A beer helps. Just one. And only if you can still drink it.

Girl to Spilly as she shakes her chest in his face: “Hey Spilly, what does this remind you of? Last night?”

Spilly: “Let me hop on the net to check my bank account. Oh my God! I spent $400 last night! At one place!”

Jules: “Hey Spilly, what does the number 400 mean to you?”

The roommate and his buddy fell in love with Jules after she started making fun of Spilly. In the mean time, Spilly took a shower and got dressed for the Ole Miss v. Georgia game that evening in Oxford. After he was done, I got a quick shower and dressed. We loaded up my truck and started to the trip south.

I’ll end that portion of the story with a quick tale about the way down. Between the three of us we had various ways to deal with our impending hangovers.
I decided to drink a little Gatorade on the drive down. I had to drive so I needed to rehydrate myself. I had already had a beer to make myself feel better first thing in the morning so I needed the Gatorade now.
Jules took a nap in the back seat. Spilly was kind enough to take a pic of that. He also asked if I had an annoying song on the ipod that we could blast to make her feel worse. I said I had the worst song possible: Herman’s Hermits “Henry the VIIIth.” We got in the truck after getting gas and beer. Spilly cranked up the volume while I played the song. Jules wasn’t happy. Here’s a pic of her trying to nap in the backseat.
Spilly had the best immediate cure: he drank a six pack on the way to Oxford. He wasn’t even halfway into his second beer when he lived up to his nickname. I took this pic for those of you who knew him in college.
That’s all for now. I’ll talk about the gameday stuff later.
Have a good one and don’t get none on ya.

Songs on the Playlist:
Jimmy Buffett – Boat Drinks
Hall & Oates – Maneater
The Allman Brothers Band – Ramblin’ Man
Velvet Revolver – Illegal I Song
The Pretenders – Stop Your Sobbing
Jimmy Buffett – The Night I Painted the Sky
Mott the Hoople – All The Young Dudes
T Rex – Bang A Gong
Janis Joplin – Me and Bobby McGee
The Allman Brothers Band – Revival
Stevie Ray Vaughn – Cold Shot
The Who – Heaven and Hell (live)
Jimmy Buffett – Lady I Can’t Explain
Archie Bell & The Drells – Tighten Up
Foreigner – I Want To Know What Love Is
Dwight Yoakam – Fast As You

Great Ole Miss Game

That was one hell of a game last night. It was close. We lost in the last few minutes when Schaeffer threw an interception, but damn it was a great game. I'll write the whole recap for the weekend later when I get home.

By the way I'm looking for a new career opportunity if anyone knows of a cool job in the Memphis area. Email me at memphisphilip@hotmail.com

Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

Birthday HNT

Next Wednesday is my friggin 27th birthday. But I plan on celebrating it (mainly) this weekend at the Ole Miss loss to Georgia. Yeah, I'm a Rebel fan, but I'm a realistic Rebel fan. This game is going to be such a blowout they didn't even put it on my football pool this week.

So what are we doing to celebrate? Well the theme is Mexifest. And how awesome is that going to be? I'm definitely going to need some partying in my system. I've been a little serious and concentrated lately. A regular working stiff.

So what is the best way to celebrate my birthday? That's today's HNT. It was taken last year at a game. There may be a French term to describe it, but I'm not sure.

Needless to say I was one happy camper.

Well, Hotty Toddy ladies and gentlemen! In case I don't post anything tomorrow, have a great weekend and don't get none on ya.

If you're playing HNT, let Obasso know. And tell your bookie you want to take Georgia and the points!!!

Letter to Terri

There was an email that I received several months ago. I had actually forgotten about it until I was deleting old earlier. I have to share this with you. Enjoy:

Sometimes it becomes difficult to just "let go" of old relationships. As an example, read on about the following guy, who writes to his ex-wife of more than fifteen years. It will bring tears to your eyes. Really.

Dear Terri:

I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I didn't want to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride has cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore.

I don't care who makes the first move, as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says..."There's no one like you, Terri."

I look for you in the eyes of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at the Rainbow Room and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation.

She was young, Terri, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Breasts you wouldn't believe and a back porch like a tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right?

But as I sat on the couch looking at the top of her head, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, even if it does, you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Terri? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought like that before. I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little.

Later, after she'd left, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her shameless hunger, but something else. Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete?And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there, Terri, to watch. Do you know that I mean? Nothing feels the same without you, baby.

Jesus, Terri, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you. Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at church? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story. Anyway, we have a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're in our old bedroom. And she was giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she's not hung up about God and her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden she spotted that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she put it on the floor and we straddled it, you know, so we could watch ourselves. And it was totally hot, but it made me sad, too. Because I couldn't help thinking, "Why didn't Terri ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for about 14 years, and we never used it as a sex aid."

You know what I mean? What happened to our spontaneity? You get so caught up in the routine of a marriage and you just lose sight of each other. And then you lose yourself. That's the saddest part of all for me.

But I keep thinking we can get it back. I know we can, because I only want to do this stuff with you. Saturday, your sister dropped by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Shannon's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders. She's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in general. (She's pulling for us to get back together, Terri. She really is.)

So we were drinking in the hot tub and talking about happier times. Here was this attractive girl with the same DNA as you (although, let's be honest, she got an extra helping of the "sexy" gene), and all I could think of how much she looks like you did when you were 27. And that just about made me cry. And then it turned out Shannon's really into the whole anal thing, and that started me thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm discovering this whole new side of your sister, all I can do is think of you? It's true, baby. In your heart you know it.

Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances and start fresh? I think we can. I keep thinking that if you'd just try it, I wouldn't have to pressure you so much. Because who needs all that bitterness, Terri? It just tears us apart. And I can't be apart from you.

Because I love you.

I'm Back

So I know it’s been a while. Sorry. I’ve been busy and/or out of town. Plus I always try not to blog too much when I’m pissed off. Now what could be pissing me off? Hmm…oh yeah, Ole Miss football sucks. But I’ve stuck through worse. One of the constant problems I have to deal with is people who pull for other schools going through similar problems talking trash. What do I mean? Well some people who read my blog don’t like me rooting for my team on here. They whine and complain and mock. Look go root for your own team in your own arena.
The actual problem here is that over time I will begin to resent their jealousy of my faithful devotion to my university and its athletic endeavors. I don’t want to take it out on other fans of their teams. That would be unfair. But I do find that I am becoming more of an ass to people when I find out they root for Team A when Team A happens to be one of the teams that these jealous people root for. So I’m actually going to use the FU Friday that I missed last week today.

FU to all the folks who don’t like my faithful elegance to my team. If you don’t like it, stop reading. Go somewhere else. Losers.

By the way, does anyone know who this chick is? She is hot. Is it Heidi Klum?

Ok, next topic. (yes this is going to be a long post because I haven’t done one in a while)
Man we suck in football. We still beat Memphis, but we lost to Kentucky and Wake Forest. I can’t believe that. World around the campfire is that we are still in our rebuilding stages from the lackluster recruiting years of David Cutcliffe’s final stint as head coach at Ole Miss. Basically we have no depth and we are injured from one end of the team to the other. The reasons keep piling on. The long and short of it is we’re not going to do well this year. Worse than I had thought at the beginning of the season, but we should still get experience for all of our young guys. A few more years of good recruiting to add depth to our team will really help. I’m not going to waiver in my faithful devotion to Ole Miss. I’ll “keep drinking the kool aid.”

Next topic, the game this past weekend. I went to tailgate and never stepped foot in the stadium. The bottom dropped out before kickoff. Luckily we packed up everything before the heavy stuff came down. The brother, Two-odd, Yankee, and Yankee’s crazy girl stayed. As the folks drove off the heavy stuff fell. We took shelter under a porch at the old observatory. You could hear the announcer on the PA through the rain and thunder: “Leave the stadium! Seek shelter! You can come back later with your ticket stub. Do not go to the Grove!” They were serious. There were lightning strikes all over. We stayed there about 20 minutes. The rain kept getting worse. I finally said “forget this, let’s go back to Memphis.” And you know what, it wasn’t that bad of a drive. But the rain kept falling in Oxford. We finally got back to our parents’ house. I unloaded my truck. We unloaded their stuff. Hung up the tents that got wet. Did a few more things. I left. I was halfway home when the game finally started. I am really glad I didn’t stay. I would have kept drinking in the rain. Then gone to a game in the rain. I would have probably gotten sick and been very drunk. But would I have had more fun than going home and watching Notre Dame/Mich St and Kentucky/Florida? Probably, but I did get more sleep this way. And I felt great Sunday. Want to know how much it was raining. This is a couple of students walking back in the rain to Fraternity Row from the Grove. He was being a gentleman and letting her use the umbrella. But to be honest, in that much rain, it doesn't help. And you can tell he's young, he's not covering his drink well enough to keep the rain out. If he was smart, he'd hold it behind her back so she can block the rain.

Oh yeah! Thanks to Scotty Too Hotty for stopping by. He made the long trek to the tent to say hey.

Next topic: this coming weekend is the Georgia at Ole Miss game. I'll just say it. Georgia is going to kill us after almost losing to Colorado this weekend. They are going to be mad. I say take Georgia and the points if you're a betting man. In the meantime, our theme is Mexifest and birthday hilarity. Who's birthday? I don't know...or I won't say...or whatever. Anywho, Mexifest before an 8PM game. That's a lot of margaritas, beer, and mexican food. This doesn't sound like a good mixture. Actually...it sounds like a great one. If any of my friends would like to come by the tent, you should already have the directions that I emailed you. It would be nice if some folks who plan on staying a while bring booze and/or food (hint hint). Actually it would be nicer if you bring several attractive young ladies with you. Think of it as a birthday present to me. But I know I'll have a huge group of old college friends stop by. Spilly and Jules are flying in Friday afternoon. We are going out Friday night in Memphis before heading down Saturday. We are crashing somewhere in Oxford Saturday night. Evil Howard is supposed to be in town too. I think JKY is here. Don't know about Kevy though. Watkins may make another surprise visit.

Next to last topic: you crazy bitches, what the hell is wrong with you? I took this pic on the way to work one day last week.

I watched as the woman who owned the car stood next to it while the smoke started coming out. She was talking on her cell phone to one of her girlfriends. Then the smoke got worse. She stayed on the phone looking at the smoke and yapping to her girlfriends about God knows what. Then the flames started as I drove past. She stood there on the phone pointing at it. I really wanted to shout “get a f*cking fire extinguisher, you moron!” But I didn’t. I figured she needed all her concentration for the conversation. This took place in the course of one red light at East Parkway and Central.

If you look close enough you can see the flames under the car. By this point she had somehow gotten out of the view. I don't know where she went, but she's not there in the pic.

Last Topic. I promise. No seriously, I promise this is it. This Thursday the Memphis Ducks Unlimited Committee is hosting our annual membership dinner. If anyone is interested in tickets we have a few left. Email me at memphisphilip@hotmail.com. I’ll get you the information. We are going to have some really great items up for the auctions.

I feel like I'm forgetting something. If I did, I'll never know.

Have a good one and don’t get none on ya.

Songs on the Playlist:
Led Zeppelin – Good Times Bad Times
Little Feat – Fat Man In The Bathtub
REM – Everybody Hurts
Jimmy Buffett – Someday I Want
Jerry Jeff Walker – What I Like About Texas
Steely Dan – Do It Again
David Bowie – Ziggy Stardust
The Black Crowes – She Talks To Angels

No HNT

Sorry folks. No HNT this week. I'm having one of those days. Enjoy the previous story.

Don't get none on ya

Walrus at the Monkey / Find The Coke Whore! Game

Friday night I did nothing. I worked late, swam laps and lounged around the house. And it was a blast.

Now, on to Saturday evening. If your Saturday involved a lot of heavy drinking, raise your hand.
Good. Saturday evening I went with the Shady Hasbeen, Shady Lady V, and HM to see Walrus play at the Blue Monkey. It was a great show. I really like the addition of the keyboard. I wish they could put it in with all the songs. Anywho, we met up at Shady Lady V’s place before hand, and she fixed dinner for us. And then she was the DD. I really think someone was trying to get brownie points. I’m not going to recap the whole evening. I’ll tell you that we did run into a ton of folks there: Goose, the Friggin D, DC & GC, King Trip (sans his lovely wife), JD, Capt Dave, and a few other folks. All of a sudden I can’t remember who all was there. Here are a few pics:

Somebody decided to show us a trick. We eventually got a straw so people who were starving of thirst could have drink. Aren't helpful people the best?The Shady Hasbeen told me that if certain things weren't done, she'd never talk to me again. So I obliged her kind request.We have a couple of shady ladies being stalked by some crazy guy. No one is sure who he is, but we do know that he stalked Ptolemy's Queen Laura all year long. And for some reason, she put up with it. Hm...
We also started a new game. Now let me preface this by saying this is not a reflection on the Blue Monkey. This is a reflection on the sudden influx of new people at the better watering holes around town. The game is called “Find the Coke Whore!” It’s really easy to play. You need to be in a bar (say the Blue Monkey) on a Friday or Saturday night around 1 or 2 in the morning. Closer to 1AM is the best time to start it. You basically look around the bar and point out the first Coke Whore (urban dictionary definition link) you see. You know the Coke Whore is the girl (or guy sometimes) who shows up at the bar when everyone is starting to really wind down (or really get crazy). They float from one group of strangers to the next looking for anyone who wants to “party.” They are usually dressed very sexy/scantily-clad/slutty/whatever-you-want-to-call-it. Here are a few pics of examples:
Ok to be honest, this last pic came from some art contest thing I found on google. I think it may be staged, but she looks like a damn coke whore. And there's a little coke there. So here's the link to the page (note there may be nude pics on there; I'm not sure). Now I'm not saying the women in these pictures are coke whores, but they show characteristics of them (in the pics).

We had so much fun playing our game that we actually had other people come over to see what we were laughing about. They ended up playing too. Unfortunately I couldn’t take a pic of the winning Coke Whore because she would never get away from her shady friend. He kept eyeing us, and we really didn’t want to fight a coke head. But I did get a pic of this guy instead. He’s not a coke head. He just has a really badass shirt. I'm not sure who he was a fan of, but I'm sure of who he doesn't like. Isn't football season great?

This Football Season Sucks For Everybody

So after a long weekend of football, one must look back and say “What the hell!?!” Yeah, my beloved Ole Miss Rebels lost to the Kentucky Wildcats. Bad. Turnovers and penalties killed us. Everytime we started to get a little momentum, we’d F it up somehow. Oh well, misery loves company, so I’m very happy to remind you that Memphis lost to East Carolina, Tennessee lost to Florida, and Mississippi State lost to Tulane. Wait. Does Tulane even have a football team? I thought their university president was trying to get rid of football there? Damn.
Well to be a good sport I give you a few football jokes:

A high school senior goes to his school guidance counselor and says “I’d like to go to a religious sponsored school.”
The counselor says “well, are you Catholic?”
The boy says “No, I’m not.”
The counselor says “then you can’t go to Notre Dame. Are you Methodist?”
“No,” the boy replies.
“Well then you can’t go to SMU. Are you Baptist?” the counselor asks.
“No, I’m not,” the boy replies.
“Well you can’t go to Baylor either,” the counselor says.
The boy says “well, I’ll be a no good son of a bitch.”
The counselor says “I think I can get you into LSU.”


A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Mississippi State jersey and helmet, and has a small cowbell hanging under his neck.

The bartender says, "Hey! No pets are allowed! You'll have to leave."

The guy begs him, "Look, I'm desperate! We're both big fans, the TV's broken at home, and this is the only place around where we can see the game."

After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him thathe and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.

The big game begins with MSU receiving the kickoff. They march down field, get stopped at the 30, and kick a field goal.

Suddenly, the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone.

The bartender says, "Wow, that's the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if they score a touchdown?"

The owner replies, "I don't know, I've only had him for three years."

FU Friday & Weekend Plans

First here’s what’s on the schedule for the weekend:
Friday Night: I have no idea what’s going on.
Cooper Young festival in Midtown. I’m not going. I’d rather watch college football. Sorry. I’m trying not to spend money.
Walrus at the Blue Monkey Saturday night. I’ll be there. I know the Shady Lady V, the Shady Hasbeen, and HM will be there also. And of course there’ll be a ton of other folks. It’s going to be a blast.
Ole Miss plays at Kentucky. I hate to say it, but everything I have seen on this game says Kentucky is favored to win. Whoa, it is a low day in Rebel land. But the bright side of it all is that no matter what, we’ve still beaten the Memphis Tiggers two years in a row. And we'll probably do it again next year too.

Happy FU Friday. I’m not really taking the time to do a fancy one here. So here’s the primary Fuck You to the University of Kentucky Wildcat football team.

ARE YOU READY?
HELL YES!
DAMN RIGHT!
HOTTY TODDY,
GOSH A’MIGHTY,
WHO THE HELL ARE WE? HEY!
FLIM FLAM
BIM BAM
OLE MISS BY DAMN!!!

My second FU is to the folks who don’t like reading that on the blog. If you don’t like it, quit reading. I’m sorry it offends you. But just know that you are still special because you read at a Tiger High level. Just get over yourself and shut up.

I hope everyone has a great weekend. Be safe as there are supposed to be roadblocks up around town.

Songs on the Playlist:
Robert Randolph and the Family Band – Squeeze
Jack Johnson – The News
Def Leppard – Rock Brigade
Derek and the Dominoes – Anyday
Jimmy Buffett – Nautical Wheelers

HNT - time and work effects

Today's HNT was taken last week. The first pic was from the beginning of the workout.

I then swam 25 laps, sat in a sauna for 15 minutes, sat in the hot tub whirlpool for 20 minutes, swam another 8 laps, sat in the sauna for another 10 minutes, and then got in the hot tub for another 15 minutes. The second pic is from afterwards. It's weird how red my skin is from that. Btw it's a great way to lose weight.

Happy HNT yall

Rockstar Supernova Finale

Well it's finally over. I didn't take notes. I mostly fast forwarded through the show. The bottom two were Magni and Toby. Magni was let go. Then the final three (Dilana, Lukas, and Toby) each made their case to the band. They each sang a final song. Then Supernova cut Toby. They are retarded.
Obviously the final two became Lukas and Dilana. Here's the play by play:
The Lemur King versus the Marlboro Man. It is going to be as great as Ali v Frazier. Well, maybe not. First the Marlboro Man takes a swing at the Lemur King's midsection. But that one punch leaves her winded. The Lemur King gargles his words as the Marlboro Man falls.
That's right. They picked Lukas the Lemur King over Dilana the Marlboro Man. Oh well. Dilana's consillation prize: she gets to front the House Band on the Supernova tour. Also Gilby offered to help her write songs for her first album as well as produce it. Dave Navarro told her he would play guitar on it for her. I think that beats winning.
So congrats to Lukas on winning.

One final thought: did anyone else think that Dave Navarro looked like Dracula tonight? I really thought he did with the popped out collar.

Have a good one and don't get none on ya.

Rockstar Supernova Final Competition Show

Ok, let me preface this by saying "yes, I have been drinking...a lot. And it ain't pretty." But I have been diligent to you, my dear reader. Instead of going to bed as my body asked, I stayed up and watch tonight's Rockstar:Tommy Lee's Unit episode.

The show started with the fan favorite of the eliminated rockers. Apparently the fans are retarded. They picked Ryan Star to return and sing his original "Back of Your Car" or whatever dumbass title he gave it. It wasn't that great the first time and it still ain't, babe. Why didn't they bring Storm back for "Lady Like?" That was a balls-to-the-wall rocking song. Much like the general elections in the Memphis area, the voters were fucking retarded. Yeah I said it.

After that it was time to...hear more about how these are the final four and they've made it and they are special and blah blah blah. JUST GET TO THE SONGS!!! Mark Burnett needs to be hit upside the head with a metal baseball bat so he'll quit doing that crap. We know where they've been. We know what they've done. And I swear that a 3 second look at a song from week 2 isn't going to give us some great epiphany. Someone please castrate the producers. I don't want their stupidity spread to the next generation.

First rocker to sing two songs (cover and original) was Toby Rand. In case you've been keeping your head where the sun don't shine, he's our Aussie badass. And yes, that is a technical term. He started out covering Radiohead's "Karma Police." I don't know the song and I won't go buy an album because of it. But he did a good job. Then came everyone's favorite: Toby's original song "Throw It Away." This time he stayed on the stage and let the song do the walking. (did you catch that metaphor?) And you know what? The song kicked ass as usual. I give this performance a 9.5 out of 10.

The next rocker was everyone's favorite marble gargling Canuck, Lukas Rossi. He started with Coldplay's "Fix You" before jumping back into his original song "Headspin." I have to say that during both performances he had a great presence on the stage. He actually kept my attention despite the marble garling lyrics. Paula Abdul was in the audience for his performance (apparently). You know Paula. She's the dried up ****** from American Idol. Yeah I don't watch the show because...well...it sucks donkey balls. But she was here to support REAL FUCKING SINGERS WITH REAL TALENT...and Lukas too. Personally that was STRIKE THREE for Lukas just because I can't stand American Idol.
Ok, here's another thought I had about Lukas in my attempt to justify why he shouldn't win: He's too Mod for this group. He has a great personality and a great stage character if he finds the right back up band. I can see him on MTV for a while. Of course that translates to "Philip won't pay attention to that no-talent-ass-clown" segment of entertainment. I don't wish that on him. He has a great talent. If he'll just stop gargling marbles while he sings, I will support him. Until that time, he can lick...well nevermind.
Btw he did an acoustic version of "Headspin." That kept my attention and he actually sang it. Way to go Lukas.

The third rocker to perform was the original frontrunner of the show: Dilana Robichaux. Yeah, if you read the spoiler from earlier, you would know that I found her real name. (yeah it's not the end of the world or anything information, but I didn't know). Anywho, Dilana did her remix of "Roxanne" by The Police. She had her competitors singing the backup of the chorus. You know what, THAT FUCKING ROCKED!!! That performance was back to the early days of the season when she was untouchable. I think it put her back in the top two. Then she sang her original "Supersoul" again. It was good.
I have to say that in my opinion SHE'S BACK BABY!

Magni was the final rocker to perform. And he fell flat. It's not that he wasn't any good. He just didn't take his performance to another level. He has already peaked. He sang "Hush" by Deep Purple. Then he sang his personal song: "When the Time Comes." It's a good song, BUT he won't win.

After the performances, they showed the order:
1. Dilana
2. Toby
3. Lukas
4. Magni

I really hope Toby wins it all.

Rockstar Supernova Spoiler - Final Show BIG SPOILER

BIG, POTENTIAL SPOILER ALERT. STOP READING NOW. I’M NOT KIDDING.

Ok, I have found a few things that I didn’t know. Maybe I was the only one. First of all, Dilana’s last name is not “Smith” as I have been saying all season. I hoped on wikipedia and found her name is Dilana Robichaux. Here is the wikipedia site for her. I found her myspace page through it and this is her profile pic:
Hmm…that’s her with Supernova, right? Could it be she’s already won? I don’t know. I’m not stating that. I’m just saying it’s pretty interesting about that pic. Dum dum dum!

And now onto the discussion: I caught the webisode. It starts with the post-elimination meal. Everyone is discussing how they miss Storm whether by her performances or living with her. Then they start discussing how none of them can believe they made it to the bottom three. Blah blah blah. Magni decides to deal with it by playing a little solo song on the piano. Then Dilana puts a pie/cake in his face while he’s playing and hops away. Everyone laughs and what-not.

The next scene is from a day or so later. The rockers are sitting outside chatting. They show a familiar face walk up. It’s Mig from Rockstar:INXS. He’s there to deliver Toby’s car. He also delivers a bit of wisdom: “One of you will make it and be the winner. Three of you won’t. The reality (for the other three) is there will be no new recording deals automatically waiting for you. You still have to work for it.” But then he goes on to say how it’s easier after being in this though. They cut to Lukas in an interview who basically says “you know after he said the ‘three of you won’t’ I quit paying attention.” What an arrogant prick!
While everyone was looking at the car, Toby kept saying “I can’t believe I won a car, mate.” Then he dropped a real funny line: “Dilana, you can stand in there” referring to the back of the car and her height. I thought it was kinda funny.

Next it was song selection time. The Final Four walked in to find a framed picture of each of them performing on the wall amongst Supernova’s stuff. It was pretty cool actually. They were blown away. Toby said that each picture really captured their characteristics as performers:
He “was surrounded by the people.”
Magni was “intense.”
Lukas was a “showman.”
Dilana was a “scary, mysterious chick.”
Yeah that was pretty good description of the pics.
They walked over to the songs and found a stack of about 150 songs. There was a letter explaining that they will sing their original again as well as one song from the pile. The pile consisted of every song that was played in the show this season including the elimination songs as well as some songs that weren’t played. Lukas and Dilana both found a song they wanted: Pink Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb.” Lukas loves that song, and Dilana liked the way it looked so they had Magni sing it on acoustic guitar. He sounded damn good.
Let’s pause for a side rant: Does Dilana know any songs? Seriously! She doesn’t know Pink Floyd or The Who. What is up with her? And now back to our regularly scheduled spoiler:
Lukas and Dilana went back and forth. Lukas said he grew up on that song. Dilana didn’t know it but wanted it. Lukas eventually gave up and gave her the song. Dilana thought about it and then decided to do The Police’s “Roxanne.” She gave Lukas “Comfortably Numb” but he chose “Fix You” by Coldplay. So no one’s going to do it? Damn.

At rehearsal they mostly showed Dilana trying to rearrange “Roxanne.” This is after they showed a discussion among the rockers about how Chris Pierson (second person eliminated this season) really screwed up when he rearranged it. The next night he was eliminated. Ouch.
The guys in the House Band were basically cringing while Dilana was playing her version of the song. I mean they were literally cringing on camera while she played it and sang. In a solo interview, the keyboardist (we’ll call him “dude”) basically said it was risky to rearrange it and that she was doing a horrible job. In a separate interview Dilana said “if I get crucified for messing up this, whoever criticizes me needs their head read…I’m not screwing this up and that’s all I’m going to say about that.” Ok, we know she has some cajones, but is she really about to take a nosedive like this on the last performance show? I don’t know. I can’t wait to find out.

The last bit of the show was mostly filler. They showed everyone packing and analyzing how they feel about the experience. The whole time they had Toby singing some song on his acoustic guitar in the background. The final interview was with Dilana. She said “I need Supernova, and Supernova needs me.” To me, that felt like a crappy way to end things. Fortunately, the producers put a little bit of things into the credits. They showed Magni, Toby, and Dilana swimming and screwing around in the pool. The funniest thing happened during that. Toby and Dilana were basically standing waste deep in the pool. This is the conversation that made me bust a gut:
Toby to Dilana: “I can see your tits.” (note: she had a top on)
Dilana to Toby: “I can see yours.”
Toby to Dilana: “Well, I said that, because I didn’t think you were a girl.”
Hahaha. That’s still pretty damn funny. It kinda adds validity to what the roommate said a few weeks ago: he thinks Dilana is the Marlboro Man and she sounds like a man.

So let’s handicap things here for the finale. I think Magni is a strong contender, but I don’t think he’ll win. Dilana has a pretty good shot at winning, but I don’t know how much of a shot she has after the ups and downs she’s had lately. Toby is by far the leader in my opinion. I really think he’s got the best shot. Lukas is hard to read. So many people like him, but I don’t know if he’ll make it. We all know how much that voice thing drove Jason Newstead crazy in the beginning of the show. He really hasn’t stopped gargling marbles while singing these songs.

What do you think?

Songs on the Playlist:
The Doors – Break On Through (To The Other Side)
Cream – We’re Going Wrong
The Rolling Stones – You Gotta Move
Southern Culture On The Skids – White Trash
Alice Cooper – School’s Out
Van Halen – Can’t Stop Loving You
Widespread Panic – Climb To Safety
The Doobie Brothers – Jesus Is Just Alright
The Rolling Stones – Ruby Tuesday
Widespread Panic – You Got Yours
The Beatles – Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
Led Zeppelin – Your Time Is Gonna Come
Cream – Sweet Wine
Kiss - Beth

Hey, It's Late

Yeah, I'm posting this because I'm about to go to bed. I had a great weekend. I'll give you a full recap later, but I don't know when. I have to go into jury duty tomorrow. Yeah Jury Duty on 9/11. I honestly don't feel that safe. But what are you going to do? So I may be MIA for a while. I'll try to make up for it.

Oh yeah, Ole Miss got destroyed by a very good Mizzou team this weekend. That sucks. But it is a second rebuilding year in a row. Hopefully Coach O will get the ship righted. And for all you non-Mizzou fans who want to talk smack (Serrabee and Princess Shaw Shaw) remember: we lost to the Mizzou Tigers, not the Memphis Tigers. Bite your tongues. I don't want to remind you that we've beat you two years in a row.

Ok, have a great Monday.

This Weekend - Art on Tap & Papa Tops at Newbys

Are you looking for something to do this weekend in Memphis? Well I'm not. I'll be at the lake relaxing. But there are two things going on that I know of.

TONIGHT
ART ON TAP AT THE DIXON
Pay $20 for a beer tasting. This is full of the beautiful people of Memphis. And the not-so beautiful people too. I know of several people who are going. I haven't been in two years due to extenuating circumstances. But it is always fun. Take a cab.
Say hi to HM. He'll be working it probably.

Saturday Night: I'm actually pissed I'm going to miss this. Papa Top always rocks.

I'm headed west! Yall have a good weekend and remember: Don't get none on ya!

Douchebag Defined

I have defined a few things on here. One thing I have not yet defined is a douchebag. So I'm going to borrow this definition. Granted it is a very specific definition, but it is a good guide to use.
One thing I would like to point out. It says "2x too small pink American Eagle shirt." Pink shirts do not make you a douchebag. Actually they really say "I know what looks good and I don't give a rat's ass what you think." BUT wearing a pink shirt that is two sizes too small does. AND wearing a pink undershirt with it confirms the high degree of douchebag.

For more examples of DOUCHEBAGS, go to LeeHotti.com

FU Friday - Ole Miss Football edition, issue 2

Last week my FU Friday helped lead my Ole Miss Rebels to victory over the Memphis Tiggers. This week we have another Tiger team as we head north to Mizzou. Unfortunately I will not be attending the game. I will be watching it at the lake. We are celebrating Dad's birthday as a family. I think there may be a few cigars involved.

Anywhoo, this week I dedicate another FU Friday to our Ole Miss Rebels as I say

FUCK YOU MIZZOU
Sorry Kellie Ann. I know you pull hard for your tiggers and love them, but this is my blog. I have just one question for you...

ARE YOU READY?

HELL YES!

DAMN RIGHT!

HOTTY TODDY,

GOSH A'MIGHTY,

WHO THE HELL ARE WE? HEY!

FLIM FLAM

BIM BAM

OLE MISS BY DAMN!

Rockstar Supernova Elimination Show Recap 9/6/06

If you are looking for the Half Nekkid Thursday post, it is the next one down. Or click here to go straight to it.

Ok here’s a quick recap of last night’s elimination show. I’m not going into a long in depth look because I fast forwarded through most of it.

Supernova picked Magni to sing with them on the FOURTH UNRELEASED SUPERNOVA SONG. Yeah. Whoopie-de-doo! :P Can you tell I'm enthusiastic? I really wasn’t that impressed and then I fast forwarded through most of it. Now Magni did play guitar on it and that worked for it. But that was about it.

Then they picked Toby for the encore on his original song. And he won a “tricked out” Honda Ridgeline.
I wonder if winning the car on this show will be like the curse for Survivor (another Mark Burnett reality show). For those of you who don’t know. When it gets down to the end of the competition, the folks on Survivor compete to win a care and a badass getaway. Well for the last 10+ seasons of Survivor, whoever has won the car has not won the game. I wonder if that curse carries over to Rockstar:Tommy Lee’s Unit.

Then it was time for the bottom three. And everyone was in jeopardy. First up was Storm Large who sang “Wish You Were Here” by Pink Floyd in dedication to her mom. It was a great performance. Too mellow to keep her in the game (maybe she was ready to use that as a way to bow out of the competition?). But she was crying in the end. Then the camera cut over to Jason Newstead and he was crying. Wait, didn’t this guy used to be in Metallica. From the late 80s until the late 90s? And he’s friggin crying? I’m all about a good cry. Don’t get me wrong. But you don’t do it on international TV if you used to be in Metallica. I still respect the guy and all, but that might not have been the best thing for his image.

Dilana Smith was next and sang…I forget what she sang. Probably because it sucked. Oh yeah! She sang a punk rock version of Cheap Trick’s “I Want You To Want Me.” And I didn’t like it. That’s a great song, and she really f’ed it up. But it was upbeat which shows she actually wants to win this as opposed to Storm who (in my opinion) has gotten all the exposure she wanted from this show. Oh yeah, Dilana had the big bouncer guy carry her out into the audience onto a platform.

Last was Lukas Rossi, our Canuck Lemur King. He sang his original song “Headspin” again. I think it was a basic example of his attitude that Gilby Clarke touched on the other day (see the webisode spoiler). The attitude basically is that Lukas does just enough to get by because he is Lukas. That takes balls. I really hope he doesn’t win though. I would not, I REPEAT NOT, buy a Rockstar album if he wins. To be perfectly honest, I won’t buy one anyway, but I will be swayed further away from purchasing one if he wins.

In the end, Tommy “The Tripod” Lee pussed out and made Jason be the new hatchet man to send a rocker home. Ok, apparently Tommy has a huge wang, but small balls. Anywho, they cut Storm. Which sucks because we can’t watch her perform next week. But on the plus side, she doesn’t have the albatross around her next that is…SUPERNOVA.

What did you think of the show?
Actually what do you think:
1. Is it a blessing or a curse to win this show and front Supernova?
2. Will they actually finish the tour before Tommy Lee shades out?
3. Is Dave Navarro shooting himself in the proverbial foot by taking his new band, The Panic Channel, on tour with Supernova?
4. Which former rocker will front the House Band on the tour?
5. Exactly how much is the House Band going to overshadow Supernova?
6. And how lame is a "tricked out" Honda Ridgeline?

HNT - Just a towel?

Happy HNT yall. The question is: am I wearing a bathing suit under this towel or not? Hmm...Here's a little background. I went to the gym last night after work. I got to the gym and weighed 202 lbs. I swam laps, got in the sauna, and the whirlpool. When I was finally done, I weighed 198.5 lbs. Holy crap! I think I can really reach my weight-loss goal for next month (185 lbs by my Oct 4 birthday).

Happy HNT yall

Rockstar Supernova Performance Show Recap 9/5/06

So last night was the performance show. In case you didn’t read my spoiler or watch the webisode, they showed a little behind the scenes stuff. They even showed Dilana’s comment about her song being a “screw you” to the fans who vote online. Yet, I never heard the “boos” from the audience. Whatever. On to the performances! They had sets to perform: each rocker did a cover song, had a moment to interact/entertain the audience, and sing an original song. INXS never did that last year. I think that’s a good thing.

Dilana Smith was first up, and we watched her be carried to the stage as Brook Burke explained that Dilana had torn her calf muscle during practice that day. What was she doing to tear her calf muscle? What was she “practicing?” We assume that it was the rehearsal with the house band, but you never know. She’s really been destructive the last few weeks:
- screwing up her chances
- breaking a wine glass by the pool
- tearing her calf muscle
She needs to tone it down a few notches. Anywho, her song was a rearranged version of The Who’s “Behind Blue Eyes.” I thought she did a good job. It wasn’t the train wreck I was expecting. Then she sang her original called “Supersoul.” Dave Navarro didn’t like the original. Tommy Lee did (he just likes chicks who are all tatted up and pierced too many times). Gilby Clarke said that much like in the song writing clinic she is too literal, but other than that he liked her performance.

The next rocker was the Icelandic madman, Magni. He came out with The Beatles “Back in the USSR.” It was pretty good, but not overwhelming. He seemed very relaxed, kinda like he was going through the motions. His original was called “When the Time Comes,” and he had to actually translate it from Icelandic. I thought the performance on the original was better than the cover.

Storm Large ran on stage next to cover David Bowie’s “Suffragette City.” Apparently she wasn’t the only person who was running up there as Dave Navarro shocked her and everyone there by running up there to play guitar. Did anyone else think that her all black outfit fit the song because it made her look a little androgynous? The song was written back in Bowie’s androgynous days after all. She introduced her original song as “What the What is Ladylike.” As opposed to her original title for the non-PG version: “What the Fuck is Ladylike.” I liked it live. I listened to it on her myspace page the other day, but this was really good. Afterwards Dave said that he has played with some of the best frontmen of bands in the world and playing with her felt like he was with a true frontman. And he said that was the best original of the two seasons of the show. That says a lot.

Lukas Rossi was up next with a very stripped down version of Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer.” He was on guitar in the spotlight and the keyboard player was in the shadows. I thought it was a great version EXCEPT HE KEPT GARGLING HIS WORDS. I really am beginning to hate that. Next was his original song called “Headspin.” He said it was about his mother. It was pretty good I thought.

Toby Rand popped up next. Our favorite Aussie sang The Killers “Mr. Brightside.” Did anyone else think that he sounded just like the studio version of the song. I mean his voice was spot-on. As awesome as that was, his original song “Throw It Away” was a thousand times better. I think he may get the encore again. He was the only rocker that left the stage this week. He was all over everywhere. He was up on the stage for the judges for a while. Tommy Lee got up and grabbed his butt. Toby looked back but never faltered. I really think he’s taken over the lead after Dilana screwed the pooch (figuratively, you perverts!). Toby’s song was also the only one that was a real sing along.

Here’s my guess for the bottom three based on performance only:
Dilana
Magni (even though I liked his performance)
Lukas

I really think that Toby and Storm had the two best performances. Toby was just that much better though.

Instead of showing the bottom three after the initial voting, the producers showed the order from most votes to least. Here it is:
1. Toby
2. Lukas
3. Magni
4. Storm
5. Dilana

I think the voting public is full of idiots if they keep Lukas that high.
What did you think?

Rockstar Supernova Spoiler 9/5/06

Ok first thing's first. I've been wondering when Gilby was in Guns N' Roses. So I hopped on Wikipedia and found his bio. Turns out he replaced Izzy on rhythm guitar in 1991 and was fired by Axl in 1994. The only album he was on was "The Spaghetti Incident?" which was nothing more than a chance for Axl to screw up other people's music (with a few exceptions). Read the bio for more.

Post Elimination Show:
The rockers came back to the mansion after Ryan Star was kicked off. They toasted Ryan. They then got into a food fight with cake and champagne. Someone said "who wants to get in the pool and they all did...except Lukas I think. He went upstairs and put on more makeup while the rest of them hung out. What a pretty boy. Seriously dude, you don't have to wear makeup 24-7. (Besides it's kinda fruity) On a more upbeat note, most everyone jumped in while in their same clothes. Storm streaked. Unfortunately they didn't show it on the webisode.
Dilana talked about how she has to bring it after she forgot some of the words to her last song: the Talking Heads' "Psycho Killer." Magni, in an interview with the show, said that up until this point, Dilana has never messed up. Now that she has, we will see her true side and how good she is. Good point.

Songwriting Clinic:
The day after the elimination show, the rockers got a chance to hear a new Supernova song that didn't have any words. They each got to write words to the song and go through a one on one songwriting clinic with Gilby.
Storm Large went first and sounded good. Gilby liked it. (I didn't take many notes on this as it was a boring one on one. i.e. she came prepared and there's not much to report)
Magni said that it was hard to write in a second language because he always thinks his words sound like crap. But when he hears someone else's song, he realizes that theirs sounds worse. Gilby said he was disappointed with Magni's lyrics and had to give him the title.
Lukas Rossi came in next. He admitted he focused mostly on the first verse and "couldn't get out of the box for the second." Gilby said he liked how Lukas didn't take the easy way with the lyrics and melody in the first verse. But, and this is a big but, Gilby noted how came with only the first verse and chorus thinking "in typical Lukas fashion, he could get by. And that's getting annoying. And I had to do more songwriting with him" than the others. Ouch. That's not helping your chances there Lukas. Gilby said that Lukas is his own worst competition.
Toby Rand came in next with "a fresh new approach and energy. That's an energy that we (Supernova) need" as Gilby said. Gilby said that Toby was the most complete of the rockers. In comparison with Lukas, he said Toby is listening to the whole package (each song to find a common thread) while Lukas is listening to each song individually. Basically Lukas is missing the forest for the trees while Toby sees both. I really hope this leads to Lukas being kicked out.
Dilana Smith came in next with her song titled "Metamorphosis Lizard Skin." Seriously? You're kidding me right? Does she think she's the second coming of Jim Morrison or something? Those were my initial thoughts before she began explaining it to the camera. She said it was to the fans who vote in a "screw you kinda song." That's an exact quote. If they put that on tonight's show, she will lose more votes. Anywho she said she was having trouble with the lyrics. She had a melody, but couldn't get whole verses. Just a few words and phrases. Gilby said her lyrics were really cliched. He said it was her best work so far but very cliched. He went on to say that she is way too literal with a small imagination. Dilana later said that she never thought song writing would be a big part of this. "I came in here auditioning as a singer."

Song Selection:
When the song selection started, there was only one fight. It was between Lukas and Dilana over The Who's "Behind Blue Eyes." They went back and forth with neither one bending. Magni held up the Bon Jovi song and basically said "I think Lukas can do this." Lukas said "you want me to do Bon Jovi?" Basically saying I think you're trying to get me to step on a landmine. Magni came back with (paraphrase) "I think Lukas is the only who can take this and kick ass with it." He basically stroked Lukas's ego so he'd take it. Well, Lukas ended up with Bon Jovi's "Living On A Prayer." Guess what, he's going to rework it. Go figure right? He is really starting to bore me. Dilana ended up with "Behind Blue Eyes." Turns out she's never heard it before. How the hell have you never heard that? I hope these are two train wrecks.
The other songs available were "Back in the USSR" by The Beatles, "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers, and one other I didn't catch.
On top of these songs, there was a letter to the rockers. It said they will have a set to do. One cover and one original song. And they have to entertain the audience in between the songs.
We got a preview of Storm's song. The producers said the title was "Lady Like." Storm said on camera that it was "What the Fuck Is Ladylike?" I like her title better. She also said that she's felt like she's been forced over the last few weeks to dress sexier than the way she usually is. She says she going back to who she is. Btw I just listened to "Ladylike" on the Storm and The Balls myspace page. It's pretty good. A whole lotta F-bombs. I know the producers will love that. But it's pretty damn good.
The last thing that they really showed was Dilana practicing with the band on "Behind Blue Eyes." And she's trying to rearrange the song. The keyboard player of the House Band said that is really ignorant to rearrange a song you've never heard. And that's what she's trying to do. Then in the last interview she said "I've made so many mistakes that I'm going to have to win back my fans. I have to." This is my rebuttal to that statement:
During song writing clinic you wrote a Supernova song that basically said "screw you" to the fans IN YOUR OWN WORDS. AND you admitted that on camera.
If that info gets out, you're really not going to get many votes.

So that's the spoiler for tonight's show. Enjoy. I'll post the recap after I watch the show. Here are a few questions that should be answered in tonight's show:
1. Can Lukas make Bon Jovi his own?
2. Can Dilana do a decent job rearranging a song she's never heard before?
3. Can Dilana win back her fans AND say "screw you" to them at the same time?
4. Will they ever put Lukas in the bottom three so we can see exactly how much Supernova likes or dislikes him?
5. And Storm, "what the fuck is ladylike?"

Songs on the Playlist:
Soft Cell - Tainted Love
R.E.M. - Man On The Moon
The Beatles - Love Me Do
Cowboy Mouth - Irish Boy
Johnny Cash - Darlin' Companion
Journey - Any Way You Want It
Dave Matthews Band - Dreaming Tree
The B-52's - Rock Lobster
The Charlie Daniels Band - The South's Gonna Do It Again
Weezer - Hash Pipe
Led Zeppelin - Over The Hills And Far Away

Dove Hunting and Ole Miss Football - what a great weekend

Well Hotty Toddy, bitches! Our Ole Miss Rebels beat YOUR Memphis Tigers Sunday in Oxford, MS, (aka God’s Country) in the great sport that is college football. That’s right: I’m from Memphis, but I don’t pull for the Tigers. Sorry. They have too many asshole fans who talk smack all year long and then disappear…well after we beat them. Now I do have a lot of friends who are gracious Tiger fans. They don’t talk smack. I can carry a conversation with them. They are intelligent. Then there are your typical, run of the mill fans who never went to that school, but they “bleed” grey and blue (the Tigers’ colors) and will constantly tell you how much you suck just because you don’t pull for their team. Wait, every school has those fans (especially Tennessee).

Anywho, I had a great weekend. Friday night I got ready to dove hunt on Saturday. Saturday came and I went to Tunica in the afternoon. How did I do? Well let’s just say, I couldn’t hit a dove if I tried. But it was a beautiful day and I had a blast. I guess that’s all that really matters anyway. Here are a couple of pics
This is the cotton field next to the sunflowers where we were hunting. Isn't that pretty? I lost one bird out there though. Dammit.

This is the older son of DB. DB was one of the brothers who hosted our hunt. This young boy wanted to show everyone how big he was so he started breasting the doves with everyone else. I couldn't believe it. The kid was better than most of the adults. He just had to have someone cut the wings off. Not bad for a kid who is about to turn 6 soon. Crazy, isn't it.

He and his younger brother (age 4) were also very well mannered. Everything they said was either "yes sir" or "may I please." These are going to be good kids.

We took the long way back to the clubhouse because a few guys had too many beers after the hunt. We drove by a few ponds and there were thousands of snowy egrets on the water. I've never seen so many in my life. It looked like the snow geese do in the winter. It was pretty damn cool. We actually stopped to watch them...and so one guy could take a piss.Here is a shot from near the clubhouse. It was really beautiful. This is some old river bottom that has long since been cut off from the river. But it still fills with water.
I didn’t go out Saturday night (despite many phone calls and text messages trying to convince me to) because I was worn out from the day AND I had to get up at 6:15 Sunday for the game. I picked up the Bergermeister and his two sons (Charlie and Will) and headed to the folks’ house. We met up with everyone, did some final loading, and started the three car caravan down to Oxford. The game rocked. It was one of the best games I’ve been to in a long time. It was close the whole way. The tent rocked. The Bergermeister had upped his stereo setup and brought his laptop. He had a subwoofer and two speakers with a huge amp. You could probably walk to the other side of campus and still hear our music. Anywhoo, our theme for this game was Southern Comfort. We had fried chicken and watermelon. For some reason Mom and Dad wanted to put up the banner that HM donated to us. It didn’t match our theme, but I have to admit that it was pretty damn cool. Here’s a pic with the brother in front of it enjoying the fried chicken and watermelon.

Where we tent is the cut through for everyone coming from fraternity row heading to The Circle or The Grove. We did get a parade of fratastic college kids.
Yeah, in case you didn't know, the students (mostly the younger ones) get dressed up for games. I myself used to wear a tie. Not anymore though.
I actually spent more time talking to friends than taking pics. I had four guys from my years at Ole Miss stop by:
“Swat Team” Watkins
Lt. Troy and his wife Lauren
“Bearcat” Campbell
Kyle
It was pretty weird because they all got there within a few minutes of each other randomly. It was really cool to see them all. I hadn’t seen Swat Team since before I graduated college. I wish I had gotten a pic with everyone, but I’m sure I’ll get a pic with each of them at another game.

I also had several folks from Memphis stop by the tent that I didn’t expect, but it was real cool to see them. A lot of people didn’t make it from the Grove because it was a long walk. The few that did never went back because it was ten degrees cooler by our tent than in the Grove. That was fine with me.
That’s all I’ve got. Here are a few pics to share with you:

Here's a pic of yours truly with my cousin. She just started law school at Ole Miss this fall.This is a pic of the south end zone that I took during half time. The head belongs to the Tiger fan in front of us who never sat down when anything decent was going on.
Have a good one and don’t get none on ya. Oh yeah, HOTTY TODDY!!!

Songs on the Playlist:
Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
Willie Nelson - Down Yonder
The Rolling Stones - Sway
The Rolling Stones - Wild Horses
BuckCherry - Ridin'
Elvis Costello - Allison
Widespread Panic - Pilgrims
Sublime - Santeria

POEMS for everyone!

I'll get to the weekend recap later. Too busy this morning. Here is something to tide you over. It's another battle of the sexes post. Enjoy!

FEMALE POEM
I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I want him to be gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, be not annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! For a man who makes love to my mind
And knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I want this man to love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

MALE POEM
I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac
with huge boobs who owns a liquor store
and a bass boat.
I know this doesn't rhyme and I don't give a crap.

F.U. Friday - Memphis Tigers

It is football time in the South. That means one thing: Football F.U. Fridays! Hey, no rules right?

This week's Fuck You goes to the University of Memphis State University Tigers, our opponent this Sunday.

Just one question, Are You Ready?

HELL YES,

DAMN RIGHT,

HOTTY TODDY,

GOSH A'MIGHTY,

WHO THE HELL ARE WE? HEY!

FLIM FLAM,

BIM BAM,

OLE MISS BY DAMN!!!

Happy F.U. Friday yall. And welcome back to college football!

Rockstar Supernova Elimination Show Recap 8/30/06

If you are looking for the HNT post, it is the next one down.

So last night was Cigar Night on the ol' social calendar. Why is that relevant? Because I didn't watch the elimination show until after 12. And the internet hookup is in the roommate's office which is shut when he goes to bed. So I'm doing a basic recap without notes from last night's show...which I mostly fast forwarded through because I was ready to go to bed.

Lukas got the nod for the chance to sing the third Supernova song. I heard the name, but it wasn't anything worth remembering. What I do remember is how he was a little incoherent and he gargled his words through the song. He looked good with the band, but sounded like shit...as usual. Did anyone else notice that they had to use a keyboard player. How are you supposed to get by without a keyboard player in your band when you have keyboard songs? Maybe they should audition for a keyboard player. Doesn't make sense to me.

Then it was time for the encore performance which they gave to our favorite Aussie, Toby Rand. He sang Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell." He didn't pull anyone on stage, but ran around through the crowd and got them singing. He even ran to the back and the producers had to turn on the house lights to find him for the cameras. That was funny. It was pretty good.

When it came time for the bottom three potentials, Brook Burke called everyone's name...except Magni. Hell yeah!

Ryan Star was the first rocker called out. He sang The Who's "Baba O'Reilly" or as you probably know it: Teenage Wasteland. It wasn't that good. His vocals were all over the place. He was more interested in running around the stage and climbing on speakers than actually singing the song.

A very happy Storm Large was the next rocker to be called into the bottom three. She did The Beatles' "Helter Skelter." I have to admit, it was my least favorite performance of hers. Yeah, she went all punk and crazy dropping the sweet soft side of Storm crap she's been forced to do with all these damn ballads. But I really would rather her sing well when she performs this type of song. I heard her voice crack a few times I think before I fast forwarded through the performance (yeah, I did it on each singer, don't worry).

Dilana came up last to sing the Talking Heads' "Psycho Killer." I really wasn't that interested in her performance and started to fast forward through it when I realized something. She's more of a damn hippie chick than a rocker. She had the long skirt. She sang without shoes. She jumped around. I don't know, but it really came across as a hippie to me. Plus I've heard over the net that before she did Rockstar:Tommy Lee's Unit that she was more into Melissa Ethridge type stuff than heavy rock. Hmm...I guess she can't hide her true style forever.

In the end, Tommy "The Tripod" Lee said they cut Ryan. At that point I fast forwarded to the end of the episode. I didn't care about the goodbyes and all that crap. I just wanted to sleep.

So did I miss anything? What did you think about it?

HNT - Cigar Night

Last night was cigar night. We may do it again tonight. Don't know. But I was smoking on the patio and thought this was a great chance for an HNT pic. So here you go
Personally I'd rather see the smoke than not use the flash on the hand.
Happy HNT yall

If you're playing, let Obasso know.

It's Almost Time, Ole Miss Football!!!

Oh, I'm dying. I can't wait much longer...but I guess I have to. Just a few more days before I'm back in God's country. That's right, Ole Miss Football. I'm going to steal this from my buddy Brandon the WB. He posted it on MySpace the other day:

Five days folks! Five days until college football starts in Oxford. I can freakin' taste the excitement. Maybe that's the bourbon, we'll actually the taste of college football is bourbon at least if you went to college in the South. Do schools up North even know what bourbon is? I mean hell, don't y'all mix Jim with Pepsi? That is a fuckin' crime in my opinion! Yeah I'll take a Jack and Pepsi please! Are you fuckin' kidding me! It's called a bourbon and coke for a reason damnit! Then again that's why y'alls pastime is college basketball, and y'all can't even dominate that sport, the South wins that too! Anyways, enough about that shit. Football time is here! Girls get out the dresses, high heels and the Louis, the big one too, you know the one that can hold like three fifths! Yeah that one. Guys bust out the blazer with multiple inside pockets for multiple flasks, or airplane bottles, how ever you want to roll. Make sure to take it to the dry cleaners because it probably smells like Jim from last season that you spilt all over yourself because you were thrashing your stadium cup around while yelling at the team for the piss poor performance that was last season. At least let it have the chance to stink of fresh bourbon poured on you from the charge of empty airplane bottles and stadium cups flying towards the end zone after another glorious touchdown scored by our beloved Rebels! So with that said, lets raise'em up to a great season for everyone who loves college ball. May your team win every game, your date be the most gorgeous girl on campus and the flask never go empty, or at least till the end of the game when you can go back to the tent and refill! To my Rebels, Hotty Toddy, and the rest of you, call me when you actually get dressed up for a football game! Until then you are still a bunch of rookies!...Old Times They Are Not Forgotten!

Nicely done, sir! You know what else I love about going to games? The fun at the tent. I used to bring my friends around when I was in school. The brother did the same thing. And now the sister brings all of her friends around. She mostly brings freshmen and sophomore girls. And I love that. We also have different themes for each game. It started initially with Oktoberfest where we had a bunch of German Oktoberfest beer. Then last year, I came up with a "coonass theme" which was turned into the more politically correct "Wild Game and Cajun" theme. We also have "Mexifest" where we have TexMex type food and margaritas.
This year we have a few more things to add to each one AND one or two more themes. Check out these pics to understand. After all a picture is worth a thousand words.

This is myself, the sister, TP, and the brother. This is TP and the sister at a later game.This is the spread at the Wild Game and Cajun themed dinner. Hungry?Here I am with DP and Hanky Panky. I was just a few weeks into growing the winter beard. I think we were about midway through November so that's about a two week growth. I believe this was the Wild Game dinner.Here I am with two of my future ex-wives, Allison and Sunny. They were being typical 19 year old girls and I decreed that they were going to be my first two ex-wives, but they had to figure out who would be the first and who would be the second ex-wife. It was a joke, but to this day they still fight over it.

Can you guess what we have planned for the game this Sunday against Tiger High? I'm not going to spoil the surprise. I'll tell you Sunday/Monday in the recap.

Oh yeah, if you're wondering what else is going on this weekend, Lord T & Eloise have their first gig Saturday night at the High Tone. Be there to experience Aristocrunk at its friggin finest.

Rockstar Supernova Fan Selection Recap 8/29/06

First thought of the show: "Is that Tommy Lee in a pink cowboy hat?"

And that's all I'm going to say about that. We started the show off with a look back at the week since the Elimination Show. Most of it was in the webisode though. My roommate did make the comment that he is convinced that Dilana is a dude after hearing her cry. Then he said "Postscript: she needs more cigarettes." I thought that was funny enough to include and then he dropped this bomb: "Hey, she may be the Marlboro Man!" Yeah, he said that.

Onto the performances! The first was Lukas with Nirvana's "Lithium." He rearranged with with piano at the beginning and heavy piano throughout. He sounded decent at the beginning vocally, then he started gargling the words again and again. Please, I am begging you. DO NOT VOTE FOR LUKAS! I hate that. The roommate agrees: "he can't sing." He kept saying that throughout the whole performance. But the judges liked it. And the idiots in the country probably will too.

Next up was the Icelandic badass Magni. The editors showed a little bit of an interview with him. He said "I know that if I'm in the bottom three for a third time, I'm going home. So I'm campaigning." Then he told Australia, Canada, and America why they should vote for him instead of their own citizens: Toby, Lukas, and Ryan respectively. It was really funny. He sang Live's "I Alone." It was pretty good until he went into the crowd and it became phenomenal. And you know what, the vein in his head did pop out! It was a great job. Some of the best vocals I've heard on the show. And that says a lot considering that English is a second language for him. Dave Navarro said "That boy can sing!" No shit, Sherlock. Gilby said that he "gave that extra something tonight." Yes, you did Magni. And you kicked its ass!

Ryan Star came on stage next to do Coldplay's "Clocks." He had a very slow and mellow entry on the piano. As I wrote those very words in my notes, he jumped on top of the GRAND PIANO. Holy crap! He was full of energy, but his singing wasn't that great when he was running around. But he did slide across the top of the piano for the bridge "Dukes of Hazzard style" according to the roommate. It was pretty good, but I feel, like Jason Newstead, that he loses some of his draw and some of his focus when he gets out from behind the piano. Jason said "it's like you've lost the plot." Great metaphor.

One of my favorites, Storm Large, came out next to sing Evanescence's "Bring Me To Life." She asked Toby to back her up on vocals for the male part. He kicked ass. So did she. The roommate and I both loved her performance. The vocals are much higher than her usual range which made it even more impressive. I do feel that Toby took a little of her spotlight though. I told the roommate "she's got some fucking pipes, dude." I really like her voice and the intensity she puts in her performances, but I don't think she'll make it to the end. Gilby Clarke said that he remembers Jill's performance from a few weeks earlier on the same song, but "I won't remember this." Gilby is retarded. Jill wasn't that good. I already forgot it.

Toby Rand, our Aussie favorite and new catch phrase generator ("EVS!"), sang Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell" immediately after helping Storm. Nice job, mate! We really liked it. Then he suddenly pulled these girls onto the stage with him. They were going nuts and dancing (we later saw they had "EVS" written on their hands). I noticed his shirt said "Memphis, TN" and after a closer look saw that it said "Richland" on top and "Memphis, TN" on the bottom of the crest. Does anyone know where or what that is? Oh yeah, we thought it was a great performance. I think he's safe this week.

Dilana Smith came to finish the show. Has anyone else noticed how they don't say her whole name anymore? She sang Tracy Bonham's "Mother Mother." She did well and brought intensity to it. The ending was badass. The roommate put it best: "I didn't think it was that good until she headbutted the microphone." Yeah, she did that. It was pretty cool.

So it's time to reveal the bottom three. This time I'm doing it differently though. The roommate and I both came up with lists of who we want to be in the final bottom three and who we think will be the bottom three. Turns out we had the same answers on the "think" one.
First, who he wants in the bottom three:
Lukas
Dilana
Storm
Who I want in the bottom three:
Dilana
Lukas
Ryan
Who we think will be in the bottom three:
Storm
Ryan
Lukas

Now here is the initial Bottom Three after the first few minutes of world wide voting (I sound like Brook Burke!):
Storm
Ryan
Lukas

Have a good one. I'll be back tomorrow with the recap of the Elimination Show.

Rockstar Supernova Spoiler

I just watched the "webisode" on Rockstar.msn.com. I'll spoil tonight's performances in a minute, but for now I'm going to tell you about the continued drama that came from last week's Dilana screw up:

The rockers were at the mansion eating a post-Elimination Show meal. It was awkwardly silent. Storm toasted Patrice Pike (the last rocker to be eliminated). Then she jokingly toasted "Dilana's first spanking." Wow, that was funny. And that too a lot of balls. Dilana stayed mostly quiet. Obviously she's realized how much she screwed up. They were prodding her with questions about it and she basically said that she's told the truth for her whole life, and it's hard to stop doing that overnight. Ryan said "I know who I am. I have to sleep with myself at night. I don't talk bad about people." And it just kept going too.

The editors cut to a scene where she is sitting outside and Lukas is trying to comfort her. She notices the cameras coming over and loses it. She starts to charge the camera. Magni and Lukas stop her. She walks away and throws down her glass on the concrete in anger. A piece jumps up and cuts Magni's head. Fortunately it missed the giant vein on the side of his head so he didn't die or anything. That crap continued for a while. She was apologizing left and right and people were trying to help Magni who basically didn't want/need any help to fix the cut.

Then they had a photoshoot for In Touch magazine. I've never heard of that magazine. The only "In Touch" magazine I know of is this Christian magazine that a coworker reads. Anyway they had this annoying French photographer. Storm kicked ass. Of course she did. She's a former model as she said. Don't believer her? Check out this and this. Beware because there are a few nudie pics there. Magni wasn't any good, or as he said "I'm not Harrison Ford." Dude, he's Indiana f-ing Jones, not a model. Dilana was all sad through the shoot, but slowly came out of her funk. Does anyone know what the hell was up with the dry-ice fog? That was kinda stupid.

Then it was time for the song selection...from the "Gigundous Computer." Thanks for that quote, Storm. Yes, it is Fan Selection Week on Rockstar:Tommy Lee's Unit. So here's your spoiler. Stop now if you want to be surprised because we got to see everyone's songs.

Have you stopped reading yet? I didn't think so.
Lukas Rossi, our resident Lemur King, got Nirvana's "Lithium." That's going to be tough because it was Dilana's first song that set her above everyone else. He actually wondered if he could show up Dilana. That would be cool, but he'll probably gargle his way through the song.

Toby Rand got Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell."

Magni (without a visible scar, by the way) got Live's "I Alone."

Storm got Evanescence's "Bring Me To Life." Did I spell the band's name right? Anywho, she mentioned that it was a very hard song to sing. At least it's not much of a ballad. Or is it? I don't think it is, but I could be wrong.

Ryan Star got Coldplay's "Clocks." A fan made a comment that they love his falsetto, and he can use it here. He was blown away, because they basically told him what they wanted him to do. He said it was like he didn't really have to think hard about it now. All he has to do is perfect it.

Dilana got Tracy Bonham's "Mother Mother."

So we are left with a few questions as we prepare for tonight's show:
Will Dilana bounce back? Will Lukas be able to show up Dilana? Will Tommy have another bad cheesy line? Will anyone run naked around the pool again now that Dilana is breaking glass?

Songs on my Playlist:
The Beatles - Sun King
Lynyrd Skynyrd - Saturday Night Special
The Doobies Brothers - Drift Away
The Monkees - Daydream Believer
Van Halen - I'm The One
U2 - Red Hill Mining Town
The Who - Magic Bus
Aerosmith - Same Old Song and Dance

My Liver Hurts from this Weekend

There comes a point every so often in a person’s life when shit just happens. You accidentally go out drinking on an empty stomach. You black out. You spend too much money buying your table drinks. Those are all inconsequential. The flat out truth is that I made a complete ass of myself Friday night. I’ve heard about it. I don’t remember it. No, this isn’t one of those “hehe I don’t remember…” cop outs. This is a legit thing. There are parts of Friday night I don’t remember. I’ve gone through the camera and don’t remember some of the pictures. I have also done something I’ve never done before. I deleted pics off the camera. Why? It was best for all involved that those pics never see the light of day. I am not just protecting me, but other people involved.
So enough of that crap, let’s start off recapping Friday night. I get home from the pool about 7-ish. The SRVS fundraiser starts at 7:30 (I didn’t get there until 8:40). I jump in the shower and get dressed.
I called a cab. Apparently not all of the customer service folks there understand English. I understood her, but she was a little slow. I said “P-H-I-L-WOOD”. She kept trying to find “T-H-I-L-WOOD.” I even did the “Paul-Harry-India-Larry” thing. She didn’t get it. That was a waste of a good ten minutes. Then her supervisor called me back and said they were having trouble finding “THILWOOD.” I said it was Philwood and he said “oh, I know where that is. We’re cool.” Yes, yall are cool. Now send her back to kindergarten and we’ll be a lot cooler.
As soon as I get off the phone, I realized that I hadn’t eaten anything, but a hamburger for lunch. I made myself a quick turkey sandwich (bread, meat, cheese, and mustard). The cab pulled up and I headed on. The driver was cool. He was just telling stories of drunks in his cab (most of which I could never post because they were so good/indecent). I pull up and head in.
I start running into all kinds of folks I know. There were family friends there and Ptolemy friends. Kat and her friends were there. HM was working at one of the booths. I ran into one of the folks we tailgate with. He mentioned that they had a few Ole Miss footballs on the silent auction (they also had Tennessee and Tiger High stuff). I went down there to find three Ole Miss footballs: one signed by the new quarterback Brent Schaeffer, one by All-Badass linebacker Patrick Willis, and one by the entire coaching staff. They had a ton of other stuff from the Cardinals and the Grizzlies as well as all other kinds of pro-athletes. All I wanted was the P-Willie football or the coaches football. I got both. How? Well it was a silent auction. I put down my bid number and walked away. They announced over the speakers that we had 30 seconds until they were pulling the bid sheets. I walk back to find that I am winning the coaches’ ball, but there is some lady writing her number below mine on the P-Willie sheet. I stand there and wait as she turns to walk away. I walk up and write my number down. She asks “are you trying to outbid me?” I replied, “yes ma’am, I am. Sorry.” She comes back with “well, I just had two sons graduate from Ole Miss.” I said “well ma’am, I graduated four years ago. My brother graduated this year, and my sister is in school there as we speak.” She said “oh…” and walked away. Sorry. So I won two footballs instead of just one.
After that, I walked back over to where some friends were and then I saw Jerry “The King” Lawler. So I got my pic taken with him. Yes, I look pale next to him, but then again I don't spend any time in a tanning bed. And I don't have the Superman curl. But you know what? I'm still sexier than he is.
Then we kept drinking. Here’s how the fundraiser went (after one sandwich and nothing else to eat): wine, wine, beer, wine, wine, wine, beer, beer, champagne, wine, champagne, champagne, wine, and wine. I don’t know if that is the exact count, but that’s about the right ratio. How I didn’t get sick, I will never know. So I was going to call a cab and take the footballs home. Well Kat and her friends insisted (I think) that they could give me a ride to Brookhaven and we could put the footballs in the truck where they’d be safe. As soon as we walked up to the car, KC started throwing a sales pitch at me. Apparently she wants to sell her Volvo. So there was an ongoing sales pitch the entire way to the bar. I guess “no, I don’t want to buy your f-ing car; I like my truck” doesn’t automatically count as a no. The only reason I mention this is because she couldn’t take the key out of the ignition when we parked it. Literally. We park and she can’t take it out. So I’m standing there, intoxicated, listening to three women try to figure out how to turn off a car and take out the key. I really can’t make this shit up. After about three minutes, I say “look, I’ll show you how to do this.” I get in the driver’s seat, back the car out of the space, pull back in, DOWNSHIFT THE GEARS ON HER AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSION, put it in park, turn off the ignition, and remove the key. They were all dumbfounded. I think when they asked how I did it, I mentioned something about it being tied to the Y chromosome or something. I went inside to find the Shady Lady and the Shady Hasbeen. Brown and Elise were also inside. She and I were supposed to get a pic together because she’s dying to make it on here, but that never happened.
Now let me say that between the beer at Brookhaven, the shots I ordered, the Red Bull and vodka, AND the wine at the wine tasting, I blacked out some point at Brookhaven. I’ve remembered a few things, and have been told about many. So to make it easy (on my memory) I’m going to post a few pics and tell what’s happening. I’ll include a few stories that I remember.
Ok, because Blogger is messing up, I'm only posting two pics. This first was is me holding a dollar. APPARENTLY I thought it was a good idea to dance with a dollar in my mouth. I need to stop drinking so much.
Here is a pic a Newby's that I don't remember. I really need to stop drinking so damn much. Saturday night: I apparently missed a lot of drama among married women and shady single women. Thank God. I ended up recovering all day Saturday and blew off all parties Saturday night. I went over to HM’s house. He had cooked a badass pot roast. After that we headed to another house. Then I cut out and went home to bed.
Sunday was uneventful. I did catch Beerfest. It was good. I can’t tell if it was better than Talladega Nights or not. But I recommend going to see both. You’ll like Beerfest if you liked Super Troopers.

Mississippi State Bulldog Cheerleader

I know that there are many of you who are waiting on the weekend recap. It's too damn long and I'm pretty busy. I'll post it after work today. In the meantime enjoy this:

Apparently Mississippi State is in trouble for recruiting violations with their cheerleader squad. They allowed some young ladies to join without clearance from the NCAA Clearinghouse:

Plus she stole a box of milk. That's why the cops were called.